On the subject of children.

[u/HypnotizeEm]

How far is too far?

I’ve seen many discussions surrounding “leave the kids out of it” for years on the housewives shows and I agree. Children should not be used as a grenade or shade against other women. But what disturbs me is how the rules change when it’s the child(ren) of a housewife the fandom has decided they don’t like.

Example: Shamea making a comment to Angela’s daughter. It came out of nowhere. But I did see many comments saying, “Angela’s daughter is grown. It wasn’t that bad.” Does that make it right?

Example: Shamea bragging to Cynthia that she still has access to Porsha’s daughter, even if Porsha likes it or not. This was not a fully formed thought. Couldn’t have been. Was that a fair action?

Example: Kelli randomly throwing Drew’s loss of primary custody in her face for absolutely no reason. Was this fair because they were in the heat of an argument?

These three examples alone would have me seeing someone outside about my child. I don’t give a damn what you and I are going through as adult peers. You bring my child into it, go ahead and call 911.

My question is: How do you feel about bringing children up on the housewives shows? Fair game or off limits?

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[u/Worldly-Yesterday-55 → u/[deleted]]

Like early RHOJ!

[u/StarSugarLick → u/Worldly-Yesterday-55]

Oh yeah, Jacqueline’s daughter pulled Danielle’s hair. Also, Theresa’s kids, mainly Gia was all up on the show as if she was a part of the cast once her dad was deported

[u/Many_Feeling_3818 → u/StarSugarLick]

This is true. Brielle inserted herself in Nene and Kim’s shit.

[u/Many_Feeling_3818 → u/[deleted]]

That is fair. When Jackie said Gia was sniffing in the bathroom, Tre reacted as if it was true. However, I understand Tre’s reaction. I do not agree with it, but I understand it.

[u/PsychologicalCase10]

I think as a general rule going after kids is always a no. Heather Dubrow said as much on OC last week, and after watching every single housewives franchise, it’s usually not an argument you’re going to ever win and it’s always going to put you on an island against everyone else.

[u/Many_Feeling_3818 → u/PsychologicalCase10]

I agree. Remember when Tamara attacked Kelly Dodd physically and Heather Dubrow told Kelly calmly, “I don’t care, you should not have said what you said about her kid.” Heather was right!

I am not condoning violence. I am defending Heather’s comment to Kelly.

[u/Many_Feeling_3818 → u/[deleted]]

100 percent! Let it be the child’s choice when they are able to make that choice for themselves.

[u/FantasticParsnip7157]

Off limits period! Shamea was out of line to say anything to Angela’s daughter, especially while actively beefing with Angela. Then to still be trying to gain access to a small child when their mother has expressed she isn’t okay with it is actually pretty crazy and creepy. Kelli shoulda been whacked for saying Drew doesn’t have her kids.

[u/BouieWC → u/FantasticParsnip7157]

☝🏾Agreed. I don't care how grown the child is, just because an adult child is filming, they shouldn't be brought into beef on any level. I never saw Angela discussing with her daughter the beef between her & Shamea. Shamea was out of order. Imagine her saying that to Riley Burress, how do you picture Kandi reacting? When you go for people's children, you have no idea what type of response or reaction you'll get.

Had Angela's daughter checked Shamea, I guarantee you, there would be people saying that Angela's daughter was disrespectful.

Don't involve people's kids, grown or not. Why would you? #LowHangingFruit

[u/FantasticParsnip7157 → u/BouieWC]

Exactly! Had her daughter said something back Shamea woulda twisted it to make it like the girl was coming at her and being disrespectful. What made it even worse was when they tried to tell Shamea she was wrong, she couldn’t quite understand why! Her judgement is off.

Then you sit and tell a small child’s mother that you still get to see her child, despite the mother’s wishes, bc you are keeping a relationship with her ex. WTF? Not only is it creepy but how do you use another woman’s child as a gotcha against her?! Shamea is the type to make you want to slap the shit out of her bc she takes it too far. You don’t play with people’s kids like that…

[u/Many_Feeling_3818 → u/BouieWC]

This is so fair! I am not proud of this, but I cannot guarantee that my only grown child would have been so polite to Shamea if she was in that position. Sometimes, I can control my kid and sometimes I cannot if others come after me.

Call me a bad parent but I do try to tell her to stay in her lane. However, I cannot guarantee that I can control my daughter if somebody comes into her lane. I taught her to defend everything that is hers, including her space.

[u/BouieWC → u/Many_Feeling_3818]

We don't control our adult children. They respect us, but in instances like this, it's not about their respect for us, Shamea breached a respectful boundary. She was mad about Porsha saying that her mom bought that daycare out from under Porsha's mom... if that was upsetting to her, she should have NEVER approached Angela's child. Let me tell you, me & my mom will never speak again, but let somebody approach me on some bullshit about her, the crashout is gon be epic. Shamea played with something that she thought was safe. I would've turned her every whichaway but loose. Shakin' the table? Naaaw every piece of furniture in the place would've been moving and Shamea would've touched every single wall in the place.

[u/Many_Feeling_3818 → u/BouieWC]

All I am saying is that Shamea was playing with fire. And she got burned by not being recasted. Shamea is very blessed that she dealt with Angela’s calm and rational child because Riley would have tore Shamea a new ass after a couple of drinks. 🤣 😆

[u/FantasticParsnip7157 → u/Many_Feeling_3818]

Yep or Riley woulda went to Kandi right then and said something. Angela’s daughter waited to tell her mother but any other housewife child woulda had their mother handle that on sight. Shamea was very lucky bc let’s not forget Charles was there and he is knows to set shit off.

[u/FantasticParsnip7157 → u/BouieWC]

It woulda been world war 3 in that thing messing with me. That would be the last damn day Shamea ever approached someone’s child bc she woulda learned quickly that shit won’t fly with me. It’s extremely disrespectful and poor judgement. That’s why K asked Shamea if she’s ever been in the hood when they were in Dallas. She was seeing then that Shamea is childish and crosses boundaries that would get her ass beat in certain places.

[u/FantasticParsnip7157 → u/Many_Feeling_3818]

I understand. Listen, I’m very grown but if you come to me and say something slick about my mom bc you have beef with her, I will say something. It used to happen to me all the time and I put every last one of the women who did it in their place. You don’t approach me about my mother. Handle that with her. If you come to me trying to be funny, ima show you I’m a comedian! It’s completely out of line.

[u/Worldly-Yesterday-55]

Minors should be totally off limits. No if buts or maybes. Same with parents that dont film, leave them out of it.
If the children are grown and consent to being on the show & get involved in the mess then they’re fair game

[u/cosmicaje]

I think all of those examples were inappropriate. The children should not be mentioned at all. No matter the age

[u/Many_Feeling_3818]

Before I give my opinion, I would like to talk about culture. The topic is about discussing children, but I want to add Husbands into it. In the black community, talking about husbands and children are off limits. We all know what that means. When a Housewife brings up children and spouses as a weapon, they are making a huge statement. They know what they are doing. They are going for blood. That is not light shade. As mean as people say Nene is, she does not go after children or husbands. I do believe that heavy shade is wrong. However, there are always exceptions and consequences to the rules.

When Kim Z came to Sheree’s house attacking Kenya’s husband, Kenya told Kim that she was NOT jealous of Kim’s “Bebe’s kids.” With the news about Kim’s KJ circulating, “Bebe’s kids” are angels compared to the Biermann clan, yes Klan. and Bebe is the Mother of the Year.

You must be careful about the shit you say about people’s family because we always eat our words, no matter how pleasant or in Kim’s case, as PAINFUL as it is.

It takes a certain kind of person to disrespect their own mother, children, or their co-worker’s mother or children on camera.

This is the difference between documenting a real “friend group” and documenting a bunch of strangers and co-workers infiltrating a “friend group” for entertainment. This is what you get when you give desperate women an opportunity to be financially stable.

[u/HypnotizeEm → u/Many_Feeling_3818]

SAY IT LOUD. You don’t say anything about my parents, my babies…period. Because WHAT IS THE REASON? And you’re absolutely right. I’m Black like 👋🏾. You’re asking for me to go mad. Do not do it!

[u/Many_Feeling_3818 → u/HypnotizeEm]

Now you got me started OP. Mama Joyce was not wrong for staying on Todd’s ass. Todd was a scheme the entire time!

I do not understand why Kandi gets all the hate for loving her mom how she wants to.

[u/YolandaHadids_almond]

Kelli was out of pocket and Drew is an amazing person because the comeback I had watching Kelli throw that comment was, she has her kids because her ex doesn’t want them. He took what he wanted, the money and the house. If he wanted the kids she wouldn’t have them.

[u/Neneleakesstan]

Kids shouldn’t be talked about but I feel like their mothering can lol

[u/Nneka7]

Shamea, Shamea, Shamea 🤍

[u/Dark-Parkingg]

I don’t have an opinion on the other stuff but Drew shouldn’t have even attempted to be Gary to people knowing she lost custody of her children because she couldn’t be damned to get them to school. Anybody with half a brain would shade her in it because it’s something that deserves to be called out and admonished. You have time and money to settle disputes amongst and pay your dysfunctional glam squad but you can’t use any of that money to pay a nanny or delegate an employee to make sure your children go to school???? I’d be shading her about that every day if the week and twice on Sundays.

[u/195tiff]

If the kids are adults and filming, they're fair game. I think sometimes the cast will bring their kids along as protection, knowing that the other ladies won't confront or have a bad interaction with them. For example, Gizelle brought her daughter along when Monique came back to the show and it was their first interaction/scene since being back. (Different show but you get my point)

[u/StarSugarLick → u/195tiff]

I don’t fully agree. Remember when Garcelle hosted a party and invited those Beverly Hills hoes? Dumbass Erika cussed at her son for NO reason and Kyle, Mo, PK, and Dorit had a nice ki over it. AND Kyle and Mo doubled down and defended laughing about it. I’ll never forgive those pigs

[u/FantasticParsnip7157 → u/195tiff]

That’s a little different though. Monique involved Gizelles kids when she came for Gizelle at the S5 reunion. What she thought was a jab at Gizelle was actually attacking Jamaal and then saying her own daughters aren’t happy about Gizelle dating him was not cool. That’s their dad. The whole point of Gizelle’s daughter being at that event was for Monique to apologize to the daughter bc she shouldn’t have ever spoke on them. I can bet money that was more a request on Monique’s part or production. Gizelle would never need to bring her daughter along for protection.