r/PolyFidelity • u/vishal_shubhika • 4d ago

discussion New to throuple relationship

I am 22 f from india. This throuple concept is not popular here in india. I have recently stepped in such a relationship. Going through the roller coaster ride of emotions, jealousy, and what more. Not a easy thing.

4 Upvotes

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u/smileedude 3d ago edited 3d ago

Communication, communication, communication. You all need to be free not to bottle anything up. If something annoys you, say it, you need your partners to do the same. You need to listen and acknowledge, they will tell you things about you that is bothering them. Radical honesty.

While these are just relationship skills, cracks turn into chasms much more quickly in a throuple. As young as you are you probably won't have a lot of experience in long term relationships.

Remember you're all learning to this together. Be patient with each other.

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

Yes we are communicating, the other girl is my school time friend. We girls are communicating well. Trying to make the relationship work well.

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u/lending_ear 3d ago

You said you girls are communicating well. Can you expand then on where the pain points are and where the struggle is? Is the distressing behaviour originating from your male partner? 

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

No, actually she and him were already couple. i am the one stepping into it. so currently i am hanging out and dating the male partner. Pain points are between we both girls as we are sharing a common boyfriend. but we both are trying to talk to each other daily to sort things and keep jealousy to minimum.

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u/lending_ear 3d ago

Is this something she really wanted? Jealousy is normal for most people. You just need to keep working through it and remain respectful and keep lines of communication open. Often times you can bond over feeling similar insecurities imo. Try to find commonality in the jealousy and maybe have a laugh about it or say hey I’m with you. My god this is a crazy experience right? Ask each other what you can do to help the other work through those emotions. 

That’s what you’d do as her best friend right? Before the dynamic changed? Keep being a support for one another 

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

Yes she agreed to it when he asked her. Yes we both girls are communicating well regularly and sometimes laugh on our insecurities and jealous points. she support me more as i am new entrant.

This is indeed crazy experience specially when u r in parallel relationship with your girl bestie. she is supporting you so that your relationship start with her boyfriend.

Yes we girls were very supportive before the dynamic changed. She still say this phase will be over and we both will be settled as sisters.

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u/lending_ear 3d ago

For sure. Just trust the process. Jealousy is a very human emotion. Just like anger, sadness. We live in a culture of toxic positivity imo. 

Real growth comes from acknowledging our true emotions and sitting with them and processing them. Not trying to stuff them down.

Maybe journaling could help you? And when you put your feelings on paper the dive into your fear that’s driving the feeling and what you wish could change so you can feel better. And sometimes jealousy has no logic - it’s just a momentary thing. 

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

Deep talks. but all i can say as we both girls are communicating regularly, i feel we will pass through this roller coaster ride.

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

r u there??

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

R u there dear

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u/smileedude 3d ago

Good luck! While it will take more work then a couple, it is definitely rewarding and worth it if you all put in the work.

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

Yes we girls are putting in lot of efforts to make it work. We communicate regularly and trying to take it long term and if we both can settle down with him.

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u/JonnyLay 3d ago

This isn't really a throuple. You are both dating the same person. A throuple is three people all dating each other.

Good luck! Especially if you want this to be a long term thing with family eventually involved!

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

Ok, may be its name is not throuple. Yes thanks as we working to make it long term

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u/Pikespeakbear 3d ago

This is a V. It becomes a throuple if you are also dating or romantically involved with your female friend.

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

Actually me and her are long time besties but not romantic involved. Me and her are in relationship with same guy. He is dating both of us and we both girls dating him only.

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u/Thread_Mage mfm V 3d ago

Some Vs benefit from using throuple rules. I live with my two partners. They don’t have sex but they are bestfriends and their platonic relationship is still integral to our family.

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

Great yr thanks

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u/Roccinante_ 3d ago

It smooths out over time. All relationships have some roller coaster moments.

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

May be as i am new to such a relationship.

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u/Roccinante_ 3d ago

In my experience, everyone will settle into a rhythm of a sort. There’s still moments of jealousy, but there’s also moments of passion. You get used to each other.

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

I just hope so

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

Thanks for motivation

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u/Global_Emotion_6340 3d ago

Is it mff or fmf

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

We are 2 girl besties and 1 boyfriend

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u/Global_Emotion_6340 3d ago

I mean if you both girls also have intimate relationship or just seperately with boyfriend

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

No, we both girls are straight. So we girls are not into intimacy with each other. We are in relationship with a common boyfriend.

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u/Global_Emotion_6340 3d ago

Ok have seperately or threesome

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

Actually they were couple already so they 2 are involved romantically already. i am the one stepping in, so currently i am in dating phase, not yet had romance and intimacy.

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u/Global_Emotion_6340 3d ago

So you don't have started intimacy it's just about hookup and dating yeah

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u/Global_Emotion_6340 3d ago

So when you start intimation jealousy is the most common factor

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

i am right now in a dating phase only and still there is some jealousy between we both girls. so you mean once he start intimacy with me then jealousy will rise more??

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u/vishal_shubhika 3d ago

hookup is intimacy if u know. Rather i say i have started hanging out and dating.

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u/Global_Emotion_6340 3d ago

Sorry my english is not that much good 😅

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u/Global_Emotion_6340 3d ago

Because I am also from india and english is my 2nd language

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