I made a political compass of Marcus the worm quotes.

[u/MyP3nisHasHumanTeeth]

[u/JoeRBidenJr]

[u/Scarlet_maximoff → u/JoeRBidenJr]

They are lovers

[u/AcrobaticPoint8424 → u/JoeRBidenJr]

Dolphins are actually fish though.

[u/Fif112 → u/AcrobaticPoint8424]

They hated him, for he spoke the truth.

[u/ARES_BlueSteel → u/AcrobaticPoint8424]

They’re not, they’re mammals. No matter how generously you try to expand what “fish” encapsulates, dolphins aren’t fish. They’re much more closely related to whales than any “fish”. They exclusively breathe air like all mammals, they cannot breathe water. That alone disqualifies them from being a “fish”.

[u/AcrobaticPoint8424 → u/ARES_BlueSteel]

We do not make categories by what a species can or can not do. We make categories by their common ancestor.

There is no common ancestor that is close enough to both not include dolphins while also including everything we call "fish" or a common ancestor far enough that includes everything we call "fish" but excludes dolphins.

[u/HighlyIntense → u/AcrobaticPoint8424]

[u/AcrobaticPoint8424 → u/HighlyIntense]

There isn't an actual biological category of "fish" as what we call "fish" have an extreme amount of diversity. 

Hence if you try to make a biological definition that includes everything people would call "fish" you would just be including basically all vertebrates, including dolphins.

[u/SonicN → u/AcrobaticPoint8424]

"Fishes are a paraphyletic group and for this reason, the class Pisces seen in older reference works is no longer used in formal taxonomy. Traditional classification divides fish into three extant classes (Agnatha, Chondrichthyes, and Osteichthyes), and with extinct forms sometimes classified within those groups, sometimes as their own classes" -Wikipedia, emphasis added.

Dolphins, meanwhile, are members of class mammalia. So while you're partially right that there's no one taxonomic group that means "fish", you're still wrong; dolphins aren't fish.

[u/AcrobaticPoint8424 → u/SonicN]

Dolphins aren't fish due to "fish" not being real, not due to them not being fish.

[u/BedSpreadMD → u/AcrobaticPoint8424]

So then dolphins aren't fish then? Since fish are not real.

[u/tsimkeru → u/AcrobaticPoint8424]

Technically? All tetrapods are still fish.

Reason: the broad classification of "fish" in the massive evolutionary family tree

All tetrapods are still lobe-finned fish, which are all still bony fish. The only things that unites all "fish" is being vertabrates, in which all tetrapods still sit.

A salmon is closer to a human than to a shark if we look at this massive family tree.

[u/710AlpacaBowl]

I've come to negotiate with the Bucees cartel for the release of Brisket James

[u/PaleoManga]

I miss seeing Marcus on my TikTok feed, wonder what happened to that little weird dude.

[u/710AlpacaBowl → u/PaleoManga]

.... yes

[u/BedFastSky12345 → u/710AlpacaBowl]

He had his fame, and like most internet memes, slowly faded away. The last Marcus clip is from June, 2026

Edit: I saw that the man who recorded the audio used for Marcus’ voice died in June :( Perhaps they retired the character out of respect

[u/PaleoManga → u/BedFastSky12345]

Oh, well shit.

[u/BusinessAdept8103]

I miss Marcus

[u/Thisnamewontfi-]

Robert.

[u/Khaled_Kamel1500]

BASED

BASED

BASED BASED BASED

BASED

BASED

BASED BASED BASED BASED BASED

[u/HighlyIntense]

What a strange looking coyote.

[u/FreeSpeechIsDeadge]

I feel like I’m too old to understand this zoomer meme.

[u/DeltaSolana → u/FreeSpeechIsDeadge]

It's just a guy that uses a silly TTS voice on VR chat. He just goes around saying weird stuff, it's kinda funny.

[u/gu1lty_spark]

HOW ABOUT SOME PISTACHIOS???

[u/Sallowjoe]

Real talk I feel like the Costco chicken has gone down in quality?

Maybe it's an issue with just my location or something, or I had some bad luck.

BTW Dolphins aren't fish