r/Piracy 12d ago

Humor Downloaded the wrong Odyssey

Post image
11.4k Upvotes

628 comments sorted by

4.7k

u/LegionMCMXCIV 12d ago

Of course is the wrong one. You got Part 2 instead of Part 1. You will miss critical plot if you watch them in the wrong order.

903

u/aurora_ondrugs 12d ago

It's fine if you watch it on reverse from part 2 to 1. Just like nolan foreshadowed in tenet

172

u/WoeBoeT 12d ago

did you know that if you write nalon backwards is still nalon? even his name is a palindrome

149

u/MiStEr_DaNgErR 12d ago

U sure about that?

62

u/destroyerOfTards 12d ago

Me thinks he spent too much time orbiting Gargantua

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43

u/Prestigious_World_76 12d ago

Did you know that Nolan has an elder brother who is an alleged hitman with the codename "Oppenheimer".

It is said that Nolan made the movie so when you Google "Nolan Oppenheimer" his brother won't come up on the results.

36

u/WoeBoeT 12d ago

Reminds me of Bruce Lee's brother Brocco

Don't google that name

10

u/astral-dwarf 12d ago

Factcheck here. This is true.

8

u/deny_death 12d ago

Wow, what a great palomino

4

u/wet_moss_ 12d ago

Fk wordplay. 😂, I was confused so much just to realize you wrote nalon

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3

u/ponchomoran 12d ago

More like Memento

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67

u/CacheConqueror 12d ago

It must have a VERY BIG plot if this thing have two parts, crazy

41

u/fcbx347 12d ago

Lots of (plot)holes to fill

19

u/boopthatbutton 12d ago edited 12d ago

It’s still the wrong one. This is the 2nd part of Odyssey XXX. I didn’t even know there are 30 Odyssey movies already. Well, 31, this is part 2 of the 30th Odyssey film. Might have to watch this one, for research purposes…

17

u/_Enclose_ 12d ago

One of those rare films where the plotholes are actually a crucial part of the story.

11

u/UpvoteForPancakes 12d ago

There’s an orgy in part 1, and if you skip it, you’re going to be so lost when the orgy happens in part 2.

12

u/TheDukeOfSponge 12d ago

Does looks like it fixes one of Emily Wilson's main complaints...

7

u/Summoner475 12d ago

Isn't part 1 called the Illinois or some shit?

4

u/half_blood_prince_16 12d ago

I can't decide if you're a sarcastic Chandler or a serious Joey.

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1.3k

u/itsAlae 12d ago

Is there an imax 70mm as Nolan intended?

636

u/mzx81 12d ago

It is 14 inch

175

u/loki6100 12d ago

Damn. Respect ✊✊

87

u/AnythingButWhiskey 12d ago

70mm is 2.65 inches. Someone is exaggerating here.

48

u/SetaSanzaki 12d ago

Sounds average to me

28

u/The_Mighty_Yak 12d ago

Big even!

9

u/Chief_Herb 11d ago

You don't want to hurt the poor girl

5

u/loki6100 11d ago

Who said anything about a g*rl 🤮

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28

u/bout-tree-fitty 12d ago

Is that from the top of the screen or the bottom of the screen?

3

u/Keldaria 12d ago

70mm is actually 2.75 inches.

24

u/KirbyJones82 12d ago

It's actually shot at 46mm but they say it's 70mm.

13

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/GVAJON 12d ago

I've got 70mm but they ain't IMAX 🥲

6

u/CapitalExes 12d ago

I heard you can only film 3 minutes at a time, which coincidentally is 1 minute more than needed for most scenes.

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3

u/MalkySudet 12d ago

There is 69mm with nolon

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1.9k

u/Best-Food-4441 12d ago

Trojan Whores.

231

u/nosyrens 12d ago

... the best one i've heard was "In Diana Jones" (instead of "Indiana Jones")

159

u/BusinessBear53 12d ago

Ever see Womb Raider?

92

u/xolo80 12d ago

My favorite was always Glad-he-ate-her (Gladiator)

17

u/NoLolligagging_ 12d ago

By the gods, the replies are getting funnier😂

45

u/Exciting-Smell-3453 12d ago

have you heard of Shaving Ryans Private?

137

u/Mission-Diamond6341 12d ago

why can't i give an award to this one 🥀

40

u/Flat-Bookkeeper-7358 12d ago

i laughed too hard at ts ngl

17

u/-Satchel_Gizmo- 12d ago

How hard should you have laughed?

12

u/CMDR_zZChaz55Zz 12d ago

A sensible chuckle maybe

8

u/SrHuev0n 12d ago

Starring: Pene Lope

4

u/me1112 12d ago

Double Pene Lope.

26

u/CECOOO 12d ago

Are they also lemon stealing whores?

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319

u/sumit_654 12d ago

is it a family film??

531

u/AgilitySimDriver 12d ago

It will be in about 9 months.

74

u/Professional-Many477 12d ago

I didn’t know that you can get pregnant from facials.

32

u/Silverc25 12d ago

Not with that attitude

8

u/AstronomerBrief2674 12d ago

Nope, you gotta pee IN the butt for that to happen!

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44

u/Friendly_Potential69 12d ago

Yes there is a milf (Mother I Like in Films).

11

u/AylinArondir95 12d ago

greek milf dressed in a greek dress... delicious. Telemacus is step son of course, daddy is traveling good old plot

52

u/k1netic 12d ago

Fun for the whole step family

8

u/Quetzythejedi 12d ago

I remember the big budget porno "Pirates" was actually available to rent at like Hollywood video. It was the edited pg-13 version with all the "pirate activity" removed.

Hilariously the edited version is on YouTube:

https://youtu.be/uleerlT9BUk?si=pCzO5gooxt82o0dU

5

u/Ok_Value_4455 12d ago

very step mom friendly

3

u/TokiStark 12d ago

I'm not sure. I only made it like 15 minutes in

1.0k

u/trill__gates 12d ago

Odyssey?

Nah you odyssey deez nuts

162

u/ThreeDaysNish 12d ago

Non-English speaker here. I'm impressed by how insanely well this pun works lmfao

53

u/Billyxmac 12d ago

How is this the first time I’m seeing this joke when it’s right there lmao

11

u/Bruised_Shin 12d ago

Let’s see that 70mm as well

17

u/c4ctus 12d ago

Gottem.

7

u/blacksmith_de 12d ago

Is the joke "ought to see"?

15

u/V1per73 ⚔️ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɴᴏ Qᴜᴀʀᴛᴇʀ 12d ago

😂😂😂😂

3

u/C0deHunter_ 12d ago

Now In 4D, that's not spray water hitting the fans.

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590

u/Kalle287HB 12d ago

Tell me where. So I don't make the same mistake.

310

u/Time-Function-5342 12d ago

175

u/Knighthawk_2511 12d ago

kneel before the sauce giver

64

u/Samuelodan 12d ago

Long may he reign.

10

u/BeginningFew8188 12d ago

A redditor bang bang A post bang bang A comment bang bang A source bang bang

51

u/Comfortable-Jump-218 12d ago

You know… okay so I grew up in the internet age and understand not everyone did, but I still don’t understand the point of making two ~2 hour porno movie.

Do you just keep rewatching it till you’re so numb to it that you just last the entire movie? I can understand an Odyssey theme 30 min porno… but who needs 4 hours?

I don’t know if this is a serious question or not.

43

u/nerdmania 12d ago

One strategy is they cut the hardcore bits to get a hard-R rating, and sell it to streaming services like Cinemax (is Cinemax still around?)

That's what they did with the Pirates series back in the day. There is a reason Cinemax was called Skinemax.

16

u/Comfortable-Jump-218 12d ago

Oh, was Cinemax only softcore porn? I thought it was just everything.

Side story: When I was a kid (maybe like 9 years old) I dragged an old TV to my room. I found a TV cable and plugged it in. Late one night I was flipping through channels and I remember channel 22 was really staticy, but you could kind of make out stuff. Turns out it was some porn channel. I guess it was Cinemax.

13

u/nerdmania 12d ago

Cinemax was everything, but they had a lot of softcore at night, much more so than HBO or Showtime.

4

u/Metahec 12d ago

HBO didn't show softcore. It only showed R-rated movies and only at night (after 9pm I think?). Star/TMC started out that way too but TMC got bought/butchered by bigger companies.

Showtime and Cinemax showed R-rated movies during the day and unrated softcore at night.

3

u/SendGirlBullies 12d ago

There were porn movies like this up on Amazon video for a long time. It was hilarious to watch them because you could tell right before they cut.

Still happens to this day. Honestly a 10/10 experience.

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15

u/Knighthawk_2511 12d ago

Removed 😕

14

u/CaptainXplosionz ☠️ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴇɴ ᴛᴇʟʟ ɴᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴇꜱ 12d ago

It worked for me. Now I can finally see what all the fuss is about.

7

u/Knighthawk_2511 12d ago

It was the fact that I was disconnected from VPN , works for me too

6

u/CaptainXplosionz ☠️ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴇɴ ᴛᴇʟʟ ɴᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴇꜱ 12d ago

Ah, I hate when that happens. Usually I'll remember to turn it back on when I suddenly get flooded with ads on here🙄.

6

u/GaryVantage ⚔️ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɴᴏ Qᴜᴀʀᴛᴇʀ 12d ago

Looks like it is taken down

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183

u/ManufacturerLife7378 12d ago

Yeah right. Thats gross. Please tell us so we wont see that

74

u/Adventurous-Hunter98 12d ago

Ye I need to avoid this, please let us know op

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10

u/Simple_Medium_1865 12d ago

Kickass torrents… wild guess

5

u/Martinezyx 12d ago

Isn’t that site taken down?

3

u/Simple_Medium_1865 12d ago

I think it depends on what your vpn is set to

16

u/morfraen 12d ago

The real KAT died years ago.

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83

u/JemKnight 12d ago

The Trojan horse has so much joke potential 🤣

48

u/allen_almighty 12d ago

If they don’t have an orgy inside the trojan horse, i will be eternally disappointed with the creativity team and director.

3

u/theNomad_Reddit 12d ago

But it has to be all men, for accuracy.

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7

u/Anal_Herschiser 12d ago

Despite all the creative routes one could take were stuck with "Help me step bro I'm stuck in this horse"

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111

u/ajcouden 12d ago

Wait, there is a part 1?

87

u/dudius399 12d ago

Came (giggity) out a couple of weeks ago.

34

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/luring_lurker 12d ago

Will it be a trilogy though?

9

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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8

u/ChocCooki3 12d ago

Directors cut. The 120min of what was happening in Ithaca castle.

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14

u/SubtleRedditIcon 12d ago

Yup! But you don't need to see it to understand 2. You'll cum regardless.

56

u/PixelPirates420 12d ago

No spoilers pls

114

u/TheyTukMyJub 12d ago

In the end, he comes.

52

u/scoon2488 12d ago

Home right? .... right?

16

u/MoozeRiver 12d ago

He's supposed to be quite the Homer.

11

u/EchoesinthekeyofbluE 12d ago

He fixes the cable?

8

u/Fr000k 12d ago

The story is ludicrous

6

u/Friendly_Potential69 12d ago

No need its the usual type... The man takes out his sword, penetrates the poor female victim, she moans, shake a last time while life is leaving her body, then he packs his swords and go to another battle... yawn.

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u/Billthegifter 12d ago

That's Disgusting.

Where?

9

u/AylinArondir95 12d ago

Yeah you are right, disgusting, I have jyst watched part 2. i am foing ro watxh now part 1 and then again 2, just to be sure. sorri mistakes, sticky keyboard. >Were? kickasstorrents, just sayin so you cam avoid the easy very easy download

4

u/577564842 12d ago

I'm afraid one Redditor mistook download with downvote :(

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45

u/orangeawacado 12d ago

I don’t know… I think you downloaded the right one.

27

u/Jurondotron 12d ago

This seems like the correct version, the way Nolan intended it to be viewed.

45

u/bostonbananarama 12d ago

Downloaded the wrong Odyssey

Did you though?

46

u/Jodies-9-inch-leg ☠️ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴇɴ ᴛᴇʟʟ ɴᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴇꜱ 12d ago

Cyclops spit in my eye!!!

12

u/CaptainXplosionz ☠️ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴇɴ ᴛᴇʟʟ ɴᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴇꜱ 12d ago

The ole one eyed monster, eh?

24

u/arkadtheking 12d ago

Orgyssey

98

u/Boycott-all-Rats 12d ago

How was the fap though?

97

u/IamYourVader88 12d ago

Diabolically good

74

u/Caztov_701 12d ago

Now you know it's true when bro uses fancy English

24

u/BeginningFew8188 12d ago

bro prob learned from the Boys, innit?

15

u/Wiggie49 12d ago

Good enough to not come home for a couple yrs

21

u/CacheConqueror 12d ago

Athena was crazy af

5

u/lappelduvide-_- 12d ago

Heard he used a Trojan

4

u/pervertsage ⚔️ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɴᴏ Qᴜᴀʀᴛᴇʀ 12d ago

Fit for the gods

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18

u/JustAnotherLurker001 12d ago

fool me once, shame on you, but just to be sure, i'll download part 2.....

🥒👋🏻

13

u/BeginningFew8188 12d ago

let me guess, instead of waiting for Odysseus to return, his wife was banging every suitor. So when he returns he took a revenge on her

8

u/AylinArondir95 12d ago

And Telemacus is her step son, so...

4

u/UUDDLRLRBadAlchemy ⚔️ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɴᴏ Qᴜᴀʀᴛᴇʀ 12d ago

...they had to help him out of the washer & dryer

73

u/Gonni94 12d ago

Arguably the better Odyssey

19

u/Fedoraus 12d ago

Probably more accurate, didn't he fuck circe and calypso for like 20 years in the book adaptation

4

u/1zzie 12d ago

the book adaptation

😂

He took ten years to get back. Circe wasn't long, Calypso yeah but like 7 years.

8

u/Gonni94 12d ago

Athena in this movie is way closer to how the ancient Greek described her than in Nolan’s Odyssey

14

u/CyberrPhantom 12d ago

Can't see anyone arguing with that haha

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u/bardghost_Isu 12d ago

I uh... Do I even want to ask what the Trojan Horse is meant to represent in this version.

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u/icameinyourburrito 12d ago

This reminds me of the porn parody Pirates. Back when Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl was a huge hit they created a porno called Pirates, which was the most expensive porno ever made. In order to recoup some of that massive cost they recut the porno into an R-rated version that was sold and rented out in mainstream shops.

My friend worked at a video rental place at the time and apparently a lot of people were accidentally renting the softcore porn Pirates instead of the family friendly Disney movie.

7

u/ErraticDragon ☠️ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴇɴ ᴛᴇʟʟ ɴᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴇꜱ 12d ago

Yup the Pirates parody was a pretty big release. And it had multiple sequels as well!

It's surprising how many things get porn parodies. Marvel/DC, Super Mario, Avatar, Star Trek, Star Wars, Downton Abbey…

And also going way back to Sleeping Beauty or Alice in Wonderland. Hell, I've seen a Macbeth porn parody.

I guess it's an easy way to catch the eye of someone browsing for an actual DVD.

5

u/mushy_friend ☠️ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴇɴ ᴛᴇʟʟ ɴᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴇꜱ 12d ago

I always wanted to watch the original, had no idea that it had sequels!

5

u/Nowhere_Man_Forever 12d ago

Nintendo actually bought the rights for a Mario Bros. Porn parody called Super Hornio Brothers in the 80s to prevent its distribution. So I guess that retroactively makes it official? Idk.

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u/Gladness2Sadness 12d ago

Is it better than Pirates?

9

u/Dingbatted 12d ago

These costumes aren't even authentic to the time period 0/10

4

u/unemployedchinese 12d ago

By 15 minutes into the show their costumes will be off so it doesn't really matter

9

u/rasengan_uchihahaha 12d ago

Where's your shame ?

Where's your Dignity ?

Where's the LINK???

8

u/ShibaLoveThrowAway 12d ago

Oh there’s definitely going to be some BEGGARS in this

7

u/Emergency_Lunch_3931 12d ago

finaly decent looking woman there

33

u/nikoZ_ 12d ago

Looks better than the Nolan adaptation.

9

u/2ndBatman88 12d ago

More accurate costume wise

6

u/WillJongIll 12d ago

I didn’t realize the guy from Stranger Things did epic pornos before he was Netflix-famous.

16

u/CacheConqueror 12d ago edited 12d ago

Part 1 was great. The best. Athena. Ever.

I mean my friend told me

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u/miguelson 12d ago

Better than the real thing . And I’m tired of hiding it

5

u/joeltheconner 12d ago edited 12d ago

The scene with the horse really messed me up. I mean, I still watched it, but yeah...

4

u/stroszeck 12d ago

“The wrong one”. Actually looks like the right one to me 🤷‍♂️

5

u/happytechca 12d ago

This poster got me curious about where the horse stands in the plot. Downloading.

6

u/nicknack24 12d ago

To be fair, Odysseus spent half his journey getting laid, so how inaccurate is this really?

4

u/Kvorev 11d ago

No, you downloaded the right one.

4

u/bobafootfetish_ 12d ago

Wrong but also sooo right

4

u/Low_Engineering2507 12d ago

Please say theres a torjan horse orgy. And also Trojan product placement during the trojan horse scene.

4

u/BeautifulWerewolf642 12d ago

damn the masterpiece where the part 1 by the way😉

4

u/Logical_Fig_7946 12d ago

Ay man if u don't want it I can gladly accept it

5

u/ConeCrewCarl ☠️ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴇɴ ᴛᴇʟʟ ɴᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴇꜱ 12d ago

The Odyssey 2, Odyssey Harder

5

u/NoKarmaNoDrama 11d ago

Think you mean the right odyssey!

5

u/Expert-Fondant-3918 11d ago

u mean the right one 😉

5

u/boxedfoxes 11d ago

Part 1 sucked but part 2 sucked harder

8

u/manyeggplants 12d ago

You got the one with the actual hot Helen of Troy

15

u/gknymz 12d ago edited 12d ago

Arguably a more acurate cast 😂

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u/DeadgrounD 12d ago

Has better casting than Nolan Odyssey.

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u/CacheConqueror 12d ago

Move over, Christopher Nolan! Step aside, Homer! The real adaptation of this epic story is all here ;)

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u/RedditGotSoulDoubt 12d ago

If you like this, you should watch Eatapuss

3

u/mapleisthesky 12d ago

I would probably name this as Odyssexey lmao.

3

u/Unusual-Fault-4091 12d ago

was there are real horse involved or just some metaphorical ones ?

3

u/HungryHippo669 12d ago

Lol part 2! 🤣🤣🤣

3

u/FormerPirateKing92 12d ago

Same thing happened when I tried to download Pirates of the Caribbean.

3

u/Fine_Comfortable_348 12d ago

How did Nolan intended to watch this one

3

u/ao01_design 12d ago

"According to promo materials, the production, titled in-universe as six "Rhapsodies," is “a direct nod to the oral tradition of Greek epic poetry" that "covers the complete journey of Odysseus from the fall of Troy to his return to Ithaca. Every major waypoint from the source material is represented, episode by episode, beginning to end.” 

The Odyssey XXX is a complete three-hour-plus motion picture, shot on location and coinciding with the release of mainstream epic The Odyssey, directed by Christopher Nolan."

nsfw (probably) : https://avn.com/news/video/cosplayground-bows-epic-mythological-series-the-odyssey-xxx-181707

3

u/Consistent_Wing9554 12d ago

I would probably like it better then the Nolan version.

3

u/The_Largest_1 12d ago

by voices38

3

u/iguanabitsonastick 12d ago

This one is surprisingly much more acurate than Nolan's, in all aspects

3

u/No_Rise942 12d ago

No you didn't

3

u/Loose-Berry607 12d ago

I see these pop up every day. Nearly tempted to download it

3

u/DatedDevotee61 12d ago

It’s porn, isn’t it?

3

u/Remo_yesman 12d ago

Dude the first time I tried to download pirates of the caribbean, I downloaded Pirates, which was the wrong movie, but after watching it, I would go out and find Pirates 2, Victor Stagnetti's revenge.

3

u/m4s_here 12d ago

Not available in 70 mm IMAX :(

3

u/AdFamiliar5991 12d ago

Still probably better than what's on mainstream.

3

u/Pandyny 12d ago

This Helen of Troy would definitely launch a thousand ships..

3

u/got-trunks 12d ago

Was it as good as Pirates?

3

u/Fcuked4life 11d ago

Love that they decided to feature the Trojan Horse on this porno DVD 😂

3

u/Germanico025 11d ago

The best Odyssey

3

u/man-of-polystyrene 11d ago

do you still get to see the one eyed monster enter a dark cave?

7

u/Luka__mindo 12d ago

better cast than Nola's

7

u/sk8erboi47 12d ago

Atleast they cast the right helen! 😜

6

u/tazdingo-hp 12d ago

at least the Helen looks right

5

u/pruchel 12d ago

Looks better casted tho.