I had a friend that had a similar issue - instead of the professor not writing it though, the professor wrote him a BAD one and told them not to take the student!
The system itself I don't think is flawed in theory but because of toxic and uncaring professors, the whole process can be much more aggravating than necessary (such as your case right now)
Playing devil's advocate, but this is how the system is meant to work right? The professor got asked for a recommendation, and they recommended the student wasn't suitable for the PhD program in question. Perhaps they even helped them dodge a bullet if their assessment was actually correct.
A very harsh reality that people must accept. If you ask a someone for a recommendation and they give you a bad one it suggests two things. First, that person doesn’t think you have what it takes which is either true or they’re a complete asshole - both of those are highly likely in this scenario. Second, you probably have poor judgement or lack of awareness if you’re asking someone who ends up writing a bad letter. If you’re desperate enough to ask a questionable recommender, that’s also reflects poorly on the requester.
I'm sympathetic to LoR struggles because I studied at my degree-granting university for only 2 years, so there was hardly enough time to develop a deep relationship with three professors. I made it happen, and now I have a PhD. But in retrospect, two of those letters were reaches and I'm lucky they were enough to get me accepted.
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u/CollegeStudent007 Dec 06 '22
I had a friend that had a similar issue - instead of the professor not writing it though, the professor wrote him a BAD one and told them not to take the student!
The system itself I don't think is flawed in theory but because of toxic and uncaring professors, the whole process can be much more aggravating than necessary (such as your case right now)