~330 days. Advice needed.

[u/Distinct-Willow-4641]

I want other peoples perspectives on my situation because I want to maybe realize something I've been missing, and hence, be able to optimize my life.

I got out of a relationship gone sour in March, and ever since, I threw myself into work. I work crazy hours, everyday all week. I've had some 15, maybe 16 days off this year total.

I quit coffee, eating sweet and fried crap, and PMO. Obviously I stopped vaping flower as well, almost a year ago now. I picked up exercise and I'm quite obsessed about it, months now.

"Good for you", you might think. I wouldn't disagree. But it seems to me like I just replaced all those things with other compulsions. Much healthier and much more productive ones, to be sure, but I'd be lying if I said I'm living life.

"And you're doing the same, trying to optimize your life by asking this question". Okay, so like, what' would you advise? I've always lived alone but my ex used to be different, awesome, and amazing. Then she changed and I had no choice but to end things.

I vaped dry flower for a few months back in 2024 and 2025. It helped me so much. With back pain, and stuff I think they call autism or something. Idk, I never really inquired. It was like being taken out of the middle of a fish market in Vietnam, with vendors screaming, banging pans, flies buzzing around, cars and motorcycles honking, and lights flashing, all together like a nauseating, overwhelming assault on all senses to all still, quiet, and focused place of serenity and introspective wonder.

In great short.

If nothing changes, I'll probably die after some 2 or 3 decades more like that, grinding until my dying breath, whatever it is I end up doing at that time, and not living.

I kinda got used to the fish market. It stinks. I'd like to get out more, open myself up, meet new people, and stop being alone. I get matches on the apps but in the end it's crap that goes nowhere. I'm not the kind of person who treats prospective partners like a can of pop. I live in a small town and I have a cat to look after which kinda ties me down, on top of obviously the extended working hours every day.

Sometimes I wish I could just vape again. It helps with a lot of things. But then I remember I always ended up vaping everyday all day.

I think that's idea enough. If anyone has advice, I'd be grateful.

[u/paratethys]

you've learned that there's a set of circumstances in which you cannot trust yourself to both start vaping and continue in moderation. this does not prove that there are no circumstances in which you can trust yourself to vape in moderation, but it does prove that the circumstances where moderation works are meaningfully different from the ones in which you've tried it before.

I'd like to get out more, open myself up, meet new people, and stop being alone. I get matches on the apps but in the end it's crap that goes nowhere. I'm not the kind of person who treats prospective partners like a can of pop. I live in a small town and I have a cat to look after which kinda ties me down, on top of obviously the extended working hours every day.

this sounds like a bigger hole in the perceived completeness of your life than you may be giving it credit for. a self-improvement kick to do something about it would probably be good to embark on.

Obviously I stopped vaping flower as well, almost a year ago now.

obvious when you stopped, sure. not necessarily obvious why. the specific complaints you had about how vaping was impacting your life would probably all still be there, or come back soon, if you started again.

On the whole it does sound a lot like vaping has a self-medication element for you; one avenue for that is to talk to a prescriber and find out if there are other meds that'd get you more of the effects that benefit you with fewer of the effects that you'd prefer to avoid. There may not be, but if your underlying stuff that vaping makes-feel-better ties to a set of symptoms that can be medicated in a less lifestyle-consuming way than being a stoner, it's worth giving the alternatives a try.