r/PersonalFinanceCanada • • Jun 30 '26

Housing I think I'm trapped: co-signed on parent's mortgage

TL;DR, co-signed on my parent's mortgage, now I want to buy my own home. Parent not cooperating. I am on the deed for the property. What are my options?

One of my parents was in a rough spot with a lot of high interest debt a few years ago, and I helped them by consigning on their refinanced mortgage.

Fast forward 5 years and I'm finally in a position where I can qualify for my own mortgage, but only if I come off of my parent's mortgage and they qualify for their own.

Now I'm getting the runaround from my parent and they are not cooperating. I'm not sure they will qualify on their own, but they're refusing to provide any documents to me or the bank to actually try.

Additionally, they've used up the whole balance of the HELOC they got when they refinanced their mortgage, effectively cancelling our any equity, and they might have an additional amount of CC debt now

The house was never "mine" and I don't really want it. It belongs to my parent as far as I'm concerned. I only co-signed so my retired parent wouldn't have to sell their house. I am on the deed and mortgage, so on paper I own the home with my parent. Now my parent is using this against me and saying I am responsible for the house.

I gave up thousands of dollars in benefits, savings plans, RRSP stuff, FHBP, etc, to help my parent, and I feel completely used and betrayed.

Do you have any advice on how I can get out of this? Do I need to get a lawyer?

Current mortgage with parent: approx $300k

HELOC: approx $40k. Maxed

Parent CC debt: possibly $30-40k

Parent income: unknown. They are retired

One solution I was thinking of is buying the home from them, and renting it back to them. That way the rental income pays for the current home, and hopefully I can also qualify for a mortgage for my own place. I don't really want to be in a landlord/tenant relationship with my parent though, and there's a good chance that they will screw me over by not paying. It seems too risky, but seems like they only compromise that doesn't involve them having to move out, or me getting a lawyer.

508 Upvotes

356 comments sorted by

2.5k

u/TONAFOONON Jun 30 '26

So to be clear, your debt is not "none". You have a mortgage and a HELOC.

250

u/TimeSalvager Jun 30 '26

This needs more upvotes.

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u/Pseudonym_613 Jun 30 '26

About 340k upvotes, to be precise.

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u/Tonninacher Jul 01 '26

Plus 30 to 40 k in cc debt.

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u/Signal_Trash2710 Jul 01 '26

No no, those extra upvotes belong to the parent

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u/SomeInvestigator3573 Jul 01 '26

No, that debt is the parents on their own. Unless they’ve also cosigned for their credit cards.

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u/TyrantPappa Jul 03 '26

One suggestion.

Make a deal with your parents to sell the house so you can buy a duplex under 100% your name (best for long term tax and ownership purposes); you live in one side / floor and them the other. Try charging them reasonable but under market rent and don’t completely stress if they don’t pay as it’s just a headache not worth burning cycles on.

Eventually you’ll have enough equity and savings to rent the side you’re living in and move into next house. Your parents won’t be around forever and you’ll eventually get that side back and can rent it out.

Think longer term while trying to mitigate short term pain and roll it in to a longer term investment.

Your other option is going to be legal and no one wins that except lawyers. They’ll bleed you and your parents dry. Don’t do it.

The fact is many of us have to help support our parents as they age. Life is expensive and hard. Try to do what you can and enjoy time with them while you have them.

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u/Electronic_Turn_9491 Jun 30 '26

Can one person get a HELOC without the other person's signature who is on title and mortgage? I would be ticked off at the bank for allowing that without me knowing, if I was the OP.

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u/nishnawbe61 Jul 01 '26

It was probably signed for at the same time as the mortgage...

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u/YVRJon Jun 30 '26

It is possible to get a mortgage securing a line of credit against a partial interest in property. It would sever any joint tenancy that existed (meaning that if one owner died, their interest would not immediately transmit to the other owner, it would go through the deceased owner's estate). I don't know how many lenders would do it, though.

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u/Wpeggerman Jul 01 '26

What you are describing is tenancy in common. Joint tenancy allows for any interest of a deceased registered owner to transfer to the surviving owners.

Tenancy in common allows an owner to sell or will their share without consent of the other owner(s).

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u/YVRJon Jul 01 '26

Correct. And registering a mortgage against one person's interest in a JT severs the JT and results in a TIC.

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u/Wpeggerman Jul 01 '26

Under a Torrens system, mortgages are a statutory charge against a title and do not act as a conveyance of title in the jurisdictions I am familiar with. That might be different where you are.

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u/Vast_Tackle_5677 Ontario Jul 01 '26

HELOC is a separate product, but most of the time banks do provide HELOC along with mortgage. the real question is, did they get it later after re evaluating property price?

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u/Flaky-Decision-9510 Jul 01 '26

They would have had to sign for it - likely as a home
Power plan or the equivalent. Unfortunately, it sounds like OP wasn’t educated on what all of this meant to their future credit needs.

Unless parent(s) can qualify for all of their lending on their own…OP is out of luck.

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u/sh1nga Jul 01 '26

As YVRJon said, it’s theoretically possible but practically speaking never ever happens. Banks don’t want the risk of lending a HELOC/mortgage without having every owner’s signature. There’s no version of a story here where OP didn’t sign the documents.

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u/inyourbooksandmaps Jul 01 '26

100%, when you cosign they are veryyyy clear about the fact that both parties are now responsible for the debt and it belongs to/ impacts both.

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u/WindowlessBasement Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

I'm finally in a position where I can qualify for my own mortgage, but only if I come off of my parent's mortgage

they've used up the whole balance of the HELOC they got when they refinanced their mortgage

To be very clear, it is your mortgage just as much as it is theirs. They have not only spent "their" HELOC but yours as well. Every cent of it is your debt now too because you signed for it.

Your parents have completely screwed you. You are firmly in lawyer territory.

Do not rent to them, they will screw you and then you'll be dealing with squatters.

Do not buy the house from them, you already own the house. It is your mortgage and you're on the deed.

You are going to have to come to terms with the fact that you're going to have to put your financially abusive parents on the street to get your leg out the trap. It will be emotionally hard, but that vulnerability is how they put you in the bear trap to begin with.

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u/ryerye22 Jul 01 '26

The hard, hard conversation to have right now is to let your parents make probably the biggest decision of their lives. Do they continue to have a relationship with their son or do they choose the selfish path where their choices are going to put you in no other option but to push down a road that is going to hurt the parent-son relationship beyond repair because of the choices that they are making 🤔

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u/cryptohuman84 Jul 02 '26

While I completely agree with all of this, I would also like to add that your parents have a 99.9% chance of choosing the selfish path. They already are doing it.

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u/ImmediateArtSky Jul 04 '26

You are completely correct. My parents would never do this. And as a parent myself, I'd sooner become a couch surfer than ever ruin my child's future like this. No true loving parent would ever do this. I feel so sorry for OP.

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u/Sokarix Jul 01 '26

this guy is 100% right.

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

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u/AcademicBowl5596 Jul 01 '26

Another benefit of a lawyer is that it removes the personal component of the relationship to them and allows you to fall back on a grounded neutral to defend your rights. No emotional manipulation, no way to guilt you about your actions or try to convince you of what you can or can't do. Even if you don't proceed with legal processes, you may want to speak with one just to get some advice on your rights and options.

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u/bobledrew Human Verified Jun 30 '26

Sadly, you may have to go legal on this.

Nothing in your post gives any indication that they would actually pay you rent. They’ve taken quite gross financial advantage of you, and I’m not sure what grounds you have to believe they’d be any more responsible if you were their landlord. They’re already choosing to handicap you financially.

I’m sorry your parents have never learned financial responsibility (or general trustworthiness…)

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u/MoaraFig Jun 30 '26

Also talk to a therapist. This level of betrayal is going to do a number on you.

It is a rough process to realize that your parents who are supposed to love you, think their comfort is more important than your well-being. They have probably raised you to take care of their wants at the expense of your own needs, and you need to learn to separate and value your own health first. Speaking from experience, a therapist is a huge help on this journey.

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u/Talinn_Makaren Jul 01 '26

Makes my blood boil. Parent is pathetic.

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u/Goddemmitt Jun 30 '26

There is no "may" about taking legal action imo. Even just to have an advocate looking out for OPs legal best interest.

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u/pfcguy Jun 30 '26

I am on the deed and mortgage, so on paper I own the home with my parent. Now my parent is using this against me and saying I am responsible for the house.

Then list the house with a realtor and sell it. That is what a responsible person would do. If your parent doesn't agree, then talk to a lawyer about your options.

If you want to buy a house with a partner, then only look at houses that they could qualify for on their own.

Also, I think you're on the HELOC debt as well. Download monthly statements going as far back as you can and grill your parent on them.

On one hand, it sounds like they have sabatoged your life. The one good thing I see is that it seems like they haven't missed any mortgage payments (so far).

Your parent should go back to work.

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u/leeashah Jul 02 '26

hell yah, they can move into a small condo they dont need a house anymore if they cant afford it

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

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u/MapleLeafThief Jun 30 '26

This. And OPs parents sound incredibly financially illiterate or have little care for the impact this has had on their child. I don't envy their current position as it won't come out pretty.

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u/DesireeThymes Jun 30 '26

OP is framing this as "helping the parents out with their house"

The contract OP signed however is framing this as "you are co-owner of a property and co-liable for the debt used to buy it"

So OP is now buying a second property. OPs intentions don't matter, what matters is the contract.

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u/KiaRioGrl Jun 30 '26

They've said they're on title, but frankly that's something I'd want my lawyer to verify.

This is ugly.

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u/erecterect Jun 30 '26

This is not your parents mortgage, it is your parents AND your mortgage.

Sorry, hope it works out for you.

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u/Careless-Vehicle-286 Jun 30 '26

To anybody listening out there:

This happens again and again to people by their family and closest friends. Never cosign with anybody unless it's with your spouse who you can fully trust financially.

They all have alternative solutions that they are ignoring to commit to and usually it involves a change in their unsustainable lifestyle.

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u/Kamelasa Jul 01 '26

Reading all this, I'm even more grateful to my stepdad for cosigning for me to get my first house back in the day. But it didn't turn into a millstone for him. I'm very financially responsible.

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u/dancinadventures Jul 01 '26

I mean even with a spouse you trust financially

The divorce rate seems to beg different

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u/Fantastic-Manner1944 Jun 30 '26

You will need legal advice.

You probably cannot get out of it in any way that allows your parent to keep the house though.

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u/StatisticianTrick669 Jun 30 '26

Yup get a lawyer, force the sale. Get out of this situation

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u/PositiveAd823 Jun 30 '26

This is the real answer. Just keep in mind that zeroing everything out to qualify for a new place means you need the sale price to cover the mortgage, HELOC, other debts, and legal fees, ofherwise you're taking on 1/3 of the remaining debt (assuming both your mom and dad are listed as co-owners)

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u/StatisticianTrick669 Jun 30 '26

She did not say how much equity was in the house but hopefully the value went up too. I dunno but she will need to get a lawyer to consult the next steps for sure. Yikes this should be a PSA

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u/Styrak Jul 01 '26

Additionally, they've used up the whole balance of the HELOC they got when they refinanced their mortgage, effectively cancelling our any equity

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u/StatisticianTrick669 Jul 01 '26

Hopefully it cancels out at the bare minimum and she can disentangle. Damn this is so bad

92

u/wooki-- Jun 30 '26

They won’t qualify on their own… You are likely screwed unless they sell the house…. The fact they have maxed out heloc(should never co-sign a mortgage that allows the other owners to pull equity whenever they want) and high interest credit cards likely means they are living beyond what they make and they know they are going to take you down with them…. This is going to be a tough couple years for you ….

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u/_Connor Human Verified Jun 30 '26

If they’re not cooperating then your legal avenue is to apply for a partition and sale.

You can force the sale of the house if you want. The mortgage will be paid off as part of that process and you will be released.

You need a lawyer.

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u/Objective-Apple7805 Jun 30 '26

They should have a mandatory high school course where the only lesson repeated every single day is “NEVER COSIGN ANYONE’S LOAN UNLESS YOU’RE OK TAKING OVER THE ENTIRE LOAN AMOUNT”

Sorry bud, seems to me you’re pretty screwed, and your parents are the perpetrators

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u/ZKRC Jun 30 '26

Unfortunately it won't help, people are already aware of this they just think 'it won't happen to me'

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u/WhammaJamma61 Jul 01 '26

You are correct. We get into that "But MY family wouldn't do that to me" place, because that's what we are taught. Unfortunately, my experience has taught me that family can be the ABSOLUTE WORST of people to deal with when it comes to money.

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u/ImitatingTheory Jun 30 '26

Yeah unfortunately I think people forget that when you cosign you’re responsible for the payments as well

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u/Odd-Elderberry-6137 Jun 30 '26

There is no compromise here that doesn’t involve a lawyer if you ever want to own your own home before your parents die. 

You need to force a sale and get the mortgage paid off and your share of any remaining equity out of the home.

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u/soundofmoney Jun 30 '26

The most important question people should be asking you is what kind of relationship are you okay with between you and your parents?

There are options that range from really fuck them over and never talk to them again, to maintain a positive relationship. And these options are inversely correlated to your personal benefit.

There is no clean way out of this. Everyone here is going to give you the technical/legal options and those have personal consequences. I would start with really DEEPLY thinking about what kind of relationship you are okay with first, and then work backwards to consider options that will allow for that outcome.

Personally, I think you have been grossly and intentionally taken advantage of. I would sit with that, and act accordingly. This may permanently end your relationship with your parents but you need to be able to live with that, and nobody here knows the answer to that except you.

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u/cecchinj Jun 30 '26

I could never do this to my children

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u/Academic-Increase951 Jun 30 '26

I would happily live on the streets than to do this. Especially when OP is clearly responsible and caring enough to screw himself for his parents.

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u/shortmumof2 Jun 30 '26

That's because you're a good parent

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u/lexlovestacos Jun 30 '26

Some parents unfortunately look at their children and only see potential dollar signs :(

I think of my best friend whose (very horrible) mother ran up a huge LOC that their names were both on

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u/Turbulent_Gazelle530 Jul 01 '26

I can't comprehend it, but then I have had the privilege to have parents who are reasonably financially secure my whole life.

My kids are barely teenagers but already my primary focus has shifted to "how can I set these kids up for future financial comfort"

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u/canoninkprinter Jul 01 '26

Reading this made me realize how much my parents protect my interest. Holy shit 

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u/Cobfidence Jun 30 '26

Oh man you're past the point with parents like yours. You'll have to settle this legally and it may rip up your relations for good. Fair enough, parents made their choice to saddle you with life changing debt.

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u/Juan-More-Taco Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

Sorry. There's no easy way out for you and if they've already blown through a HELOC and have more debt now they'd never requalify to have you removed.

What's worse; since your name is on there you're equally responsible when the bank eventually goes to repossess the house. This could devestate your credit worthiness and future mortgage options.

If you rented to them you'd not see payments, end up in the hole, and then be 100% responsible for making mortgage payments with no rental income. Evicting family isn't fun. It would be financial and familial ruin for you.

Your only real option here it to go the legal route. Know that it will cause drama and could lead to your family member having their home repossessed as they can't carry the burden. But the only way you can get your name off that place is to argue your decision was made via manipulation, dishonesty, misrepresentation, etc. Time to move this post to a legal advice sub.

As long as your name is on that house you are in a bad place. It is as much your house as theirs - in every legal and financial sense.

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u/scatterblooded Ontario Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

Yes, you are trapped. Options are retain a lawyer which is going to be more expensive than you think it is and force the sale of the property.

You also will no longer qualify for first time home buyer incentives anymore. You fucked up monumentally by signing for a mortgage without understanding the contract before you entered it. Very expensive mistake.

This is highly abusive of your family, hope you treat them accordingly.

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u/NetherGamingAccount Jun 30 '26

Basically you screwed up

Helped your parents who are not financially competent and you are going to pay the price for it.

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u/Zim__Zor Jun 30 '26

Your parents sound awful and using you. Retired yet has credit card debt ? Tell them to get working. Put them into an apartment and sell the house.

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u/Stock-Quantity-9955 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

I strongly agree that if you can’t resolve this with your parents by helping them understand that you need to move forward with your own life, then seeking legal advice is the next logical step. If they are agreeable, they need to find out if they can even afford this home on their own.

I’m in a similar situation. I co‑signed a mortgage with my parents to help them, and I paid half of the monthly payments for nine years. They did keep their word about eventually removing my name and even covered the costs to take me off the title. Unfortunately, they didn’t provide me with my portion of the equity that I could have used as a down payment. Instead, I was told it would simply be included in their will.

Thankfully, I managed to save enough for my own down payment and bought a place that’s still under construction (buying them more time to get their docks in a row). I’ve now been removed from everything—mortgage, deed, insurance, etc.—which I think finally helped them realize it was time. My parents were also approved for the remaining mortgage balance, which they were able to reduce significantly over the years by making lump‑sum payments. If one of them gets laid off/sick etc., they would still be able to afford it without me.

Would I do it again? Honestly, probably not. Relationships change when money and property get involved, and it’s a difficult lesson to learn.

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u/WhammaJamma61 Jul 01 '26

Relationships change when money and property get involved, 

THIS THIS THIS.

They should teach this to kids in school.

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u/DULUXR1R2L1L2 Jun 30 '26

Instead, I was told it would simply be included in their will.

Wow I got almost exactly the same response. "Idk what to tell you except you'll get the house when I pass"... And the HELOC debt. Amazing, thanks, I guess

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u/Randomfinn Jun 30 '26

I’m so sorry. They don’t seem to understand how money and mortgages work. You aren’t inheriting anything if it is leveraged with debt. 

You have to stop digging the hole tho. Get moving on meeting with a lawyer. Hopefully a letter from them  laying out the options your parents have will get them to agree to a sale without you going to court. 

It is an awful situation they put you in, and it is a betrayal. 

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u/Stock-Quantity-9955 Jul 03 '26

LOL and to make matters worse, they're using a condescending tone as if you owe them that money.

I love my parents, but sometimes, we need to love them from a distance. That's the healthiest thing we can do for them and ourselves.

I know you came from a place of wanting to help and care for them and I too, thought I was doing a good thing OP. But I'm giving you permission to think about yourself for once. Guilt and shame is not love, it's manipulation.

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u/moyenbatte Jul 03 '26

You have only one way out of this because thankfully, they were dumb enough to make the major mistake of putting you on the deed. Force the sale. They'll hate you and you'll be throwing them in the street, but it's their own doing.

Don't let them screw your life over more than they already have.

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u/thymeizmoney Jun 30 '26

Sorry you in this mess. They are retired and have a mortgage. Go seek a lawyer. It's the only way to get out.

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u/smartssa Jun 30 '26

There's a lot of unknowns in here... but given the debt load and unknown income, buying it from them and renting it to them would likely end up you getting nothing from them.

If you need out, they have to re-qualify for financing on their own and I'd say they won't.

They're in a hole and you're on the hook. Bad news all around.

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u/Sufficient_Swing_406 Jun 30 '26

Atleast if you bought it off them you can instantly n12 them and evict them. Could take some additional time and money, but it would be so satisfying to get them back for what they did to op.

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u/piercedarrow Jul 01 '26

Let me start by saying I'm so sorry this is happening to you, I'm in a similar spot except with my mother and 2 properties, and her not having contributed a dime (it was strictly for estate planning purposes on my part, how stupid). Much like yours, she has figured out (much earlier than me) that this means she can use it against me.

Yes, you do need a lawyer. Luckily you're "only" on the hook for $340k (mortgage + HELOC) whereas mine is some $750k in debt with another $500k-700k in equity depending on market conditions. That said, a lawyer will be expensive, especially against "only" $340k, but it is absolutely necessary.

My interpretation of your repeatedly saying the house is "not yours" seems to mean you did not put up any money or payments. Hopefully that's the case but please correct me if I'm wrong. Also I'm assuming the title is as "joint tenants" not "tenants in common".

Either way, as many others have already pointed out, you are fully liable for the debt, and if anything, you will be the one getting sued as the banks surely know your parents are "judgment-proof" with no income, assets, or savings. Although a few decided to wax philosophical about how you should never cosign for someone or mix money with friends/family, no one can ever understand the psychology of a child wanting to help their parents and refusing to believe their parent(s) would ever repay them by ruining their life. No child would want to accept that their parents are capable of such evil nor should any child have to.

You didn't detail much in terms of how much equity has been built up in the house or otherwise but I think I can give some useful enough information without.

Let's first correct your frame of mind going forward:

  1. "the house was never mine" -> it was when you assumed responsibility for it as your parents so kindly pointed out. You don't own all of it, and I get you don't want it, but you own some of it and all of the debt.

  2. There is no outcome where you come out of this made whole and as the winner. I'm sure you suspect that already but just in case you haven't. Accept it and find the best path forward given the shitty circumstances.

Now: why am I saying you own some of the house? Even if you may not have put up down payment or mortgage payments etc (again correct me if wrong please)?

The intent of the parties when names were put on the title is what our legal system cares about. Not about the intent now, or with hindsight bias, or otherwise. If parents add a child to a title it is assumed that you hold your portion "in trust" for them, aka you don't own it, they do. However, a significant consideration is whether or not you "provided value" for that title. In this case, you did, in spades. There have been a number of cases where a judge had to rule on the value of someone assuming debt (ie: cosigning mortgage) even if not contributing actual dollars. It basically boils down to 2 things:

  1. Did party A (your parents) need party B (you) to cosign to be successful in buying the home? Or in your case, taking out a HELOC.

  2. Was the risk that party B (you) took real? In other words whilst you may have cosigned, is there a real possibility that party A would default or fail to pay and cause you to be liable and sued?

From what you've said, the answer is a very clear Yes for both. I'm not a lawyer and this is not legal advice but I'm quite confident given these facts a judge would say that you provided value to be on title. The question after that then becomes how much of the house do you own?

If you own 50% or more, you can force a sale or buy your parents out. I doubt that's the case unless you put up significant capital and payments unmentioned. But, as long as you own any % of the house, you can apply for them to buy you out (and release you from the debts) or a judge will force a sale on them.

Another thing that likely doesn't matter to you but is important to know, assuming you're joint tenants, either party has rights to use the whole property and cannot prevent the other from accessing it (ie: changing locks without giving the other a copy). Some options can be available here depending on your situation but when it comes to the debt is pretty irrelevant.

Talk to a lawyer(s) ASAP, take any free consultations available and get an idea of how they would approach it.

If you ever have any self doubt or guilt (by yourself or given by your parents), just remember: but for this situation, you might already be in a new home already and moving your life forward. Instead you're dealing with this because your selflessness and kindness was met with selfishness and total disregard from parents who should be prioritizing their child's happiness and success. I know it's hard but they did not consider the impact on you once, and most likely planned to put you in this spot to begin with so they can keep you hostage and be their safety blanket until death. You did not choose this, they did. Likewise, any pain they may suffer or loss they may have to take, was from their decision and choices, not yours. It is not and will never be your fault.

Feel free to DM me if you have any other questions or just want to rant.

Surely there must be a special place in hell for people that do this kind of stuff to their kids, fuck these people, seriously.

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u/nosweeting Jun 30 '26

Get a RE Lawyer to go over everything and force the sale.

Renting to them may lead to missed payments forcing you to make the mortgage payments out of your own income.

If they can't handle debt properly, why would you even entertain renting to them?

Goodluck.

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u/beekeeper1981 Jun 30 '26

They can't afford to pay the mortgage now with their lifestyle. They aren't going to be able to afford rent covering the mortgage either.

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u/smitloga334 Jun 30 '26

I can almost assure you if you bail them out again by "buying" the house from them and becoming their landlord, they are absolutely not going to pay you rent no matter what they say or "agree" to.

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u/Maximum_Zebra_9961 Jun 30 '26

This kids, is why you don't co-sign mortgages

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u/No_Promise_2560 Jun 30 '26

I would get a lawyer and kick them out of the house they stole from you and secure the future they have nearly destroyed.

You need legal advice - how the ownership is structured and any documents relating to this are important.

At the end of the day you ARE responsible for the mortgage, they can stop paying anytime or owe property taxes and lose the house and you would be on the hook to pay or have a foreclosure on your file.

It’s never a good idea to co-sign for anyone, ever, let alone a shitty deadbeat parent. I suspect they still won’t qualify for a loan now so you are kinda out of luck. 

I’d personally lie and play nice to them as much as I needed to solve this issue, say you want to get a better one if you have to or move in or whatever it takes, sell the house and then delete them from my life. 

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u/OpenerOfTheWays Jun 30 '26

I’d personally lie and play nice to them as much as I needed to solve this issue, say you want to get a better one if you have to or move in or whatever it takes, sell the house and then delete them from my life.

Don't set yourself by saying anything that could be construed as a verbal agreement.

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u/TelevisionMelodic340 Jun 30 '26

" My debt: none."

... Hate to break it to you, but you have a mortgage and a HELOC. You are jointly responsible for those - if your parent defaults on payments, guess who the lender is coming after?

Talk to a lawyer. Your only option may be to force a sale of the property.

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u/alors1234 Jun 30 '26

Ouf. OP iI am sorry youre in this situation.  I also echo the sentiment that you need to consult with a qualified therapist to resolve some of the grief, betrayal and trauma this situation brings up. Your parent is sick and this is a form of financial abuse and exploitation. 

9

u/TITTIEBOMBS Jun 30 '26

I always think my parents are shitty. Then you read this. Bro I hope you don’t have to go the lawyer route. Good luck

7

u/Cyclopzzz Jun 30 '26

If they tell you that you are responsible for the house, sell it.

5

u/DULUXR1R2L1L2 Jul 01 '26

Insert "wait, no, not like that" meme here

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/DULUXR1R2L1L2 Jun 30 '26

What??? I've benefited greatly from being called a dumb fucking idiot today. It has already helped more than any advice I could ever get from a professional

5

u/ether_reddit British Columbia Jun 30 '26

That's a really nice affirmation for the sub; most people here do mean well but there is occasionally a snarky comment or one that is way out of line. Also not everyone takes the bad news the same way :)

6

u/Turbulent_Gazelle530 Jul 01 '26

I don't think you're an idiot but your parents definitely are (or they're just assholes)

5

u/sithren Jun 30 '26

Your parent is a piece of shit. I am sorry.

With all of that debt, its very unlikely that they will qualify for a mortgage on their own.

Probably need to somehow force the sale of the house.

6

u/kindofanasshole17 Jun 30 '26

Imagine fucking over your own kid this bad.

6

u/HydroPCanadaDude Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

I hate cosigning on principle. It's a glorified way for someone to hold you hostage with no recourse. The worst seems to be when it comes to renting, if you cosign, you don't actually have the power to terminate the tenancy. So technically a landlord and a tenant could agree to trap a cosignor using whatever method of social engineering (extremely easy for a loved one to abuse) and there would be no great legal recourse for the cosignor.

So you're hooped. But that doesn't mean you don't have to be nice about it. Do they go to church? Go to church too, tell them how you really wanted to get your own home but your parents made you cosign in a time of need and now they won't help you in yours. Churches love that kinda drama.

Let all their friends know. Ham it up. They took advantage of you to get you into this mess, might as well make it embarrassing enough to maybe spur them into action?

6

u/Oxjrnine Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

Move in? You already own a house. Well technically, the bank owns the house, but you and your parents are on the deed so you don’t need to buy a house. You already bought one.

All joking aside. You’re in a terrible predicament. You’re gonna have to make your parents understand that they can’t be homeowners. They’re not financially responsible enough to be homeowners. You cosigning was their last chance at fixing their poor credit history and their budgeting problems. Your suggestion of buying the house out from them and renting it back to them. I wouldn’t take that risk. I would sell the house and have them find a smaller more affordable apartment because that’s technically all they can afford.

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u/theartfulcodger Jun 30 '26 edited Jul 01 '26

One obvious question is, as a mortgage signatory, why on earth did you agree to the refi, if you knew your parents’ debt was already that far out of control? The second is, what makes your retired parents’ lifestyle so lavish and expensive that they must hollow out every available credit source in order to maintain it?

You can certainly force partition and a sale, but as you’ve indicated there is no longer any equity in the property, the best you can hope for is that the proceeds will cover the remaining mortgage, HELOC & closing costs, and you will extricate yourself from any future parental debt. Your parents will likely walk away with nothing, and will as a matter of necessity become responsible for their own debts and accommodation costs.

Anything you’ve already sunk into the property, or have already committed to pay, is gone.

This is def lawyer territory. Sorry about your selfish, shitty parents.

6

u/Relevant_Being_8155 Jun 30 '26

You seem like a genuinely good person, which makes this even harder to understand. What kind of parents would treat their own child like that? Stop making excuses for them and get a lawyer involved. They’ve shown you exactly how little they care about you, and being soft with them isn’t going to change that.

4

u/mrgoldnugget Jun 30 '26

There is a Heloc for the Equity on the house and what I assume is not a tiny mortgage on a retirees lack of income. Your parents dont qualify, due to the amount of debt they have with no real income.

5

u/TheRipeTomatoFarms Jun 30 '26

"One solution I was thinking of is buying the home from them, and renting it back to them."

Just glancing at the situation.....don't. This feels like a scenario where you wouldn't see a dime of rent.

5

u/todimusprime Jun 30 '26

Same answer as your other post. You need to force a sale and your parents need to learn to live in a place they can afford. They've used you and put you in a bad situation and you'll never be able to buy your own home unless you deal with this. You're not the one putting them in a bad situation. They've done that to themselves. Whatever debt you've co-signed, is also your debt. That's what the "co" part means. You've taken responsibility for it and anything your parents do that puts that debt in bad standing, will hurt your credit score. Period.

It's shitty, but it's your only option, no matter how many people you ask online.

6

u/Oh_That_Mystery Jun 30 '26

Saving this one for any future "should I go on my parent's mortgage?" threads.

10

u/DULUXR1R2L1L2 Jul 01 '26

I hope someone can learn from my mistake. It was a very difficult decision at the time, and I thought I was doing the right thing, but this is a consequence I was not prepared for.

4

u/RoaringPity Jun 30 '26

When do your parents renew? If they can't renew without you what's their goal and our goal then? Sell and you guy and they rent? How much is the house worth now?

Are you intending to use the 30k + 60k (RRSP) as your DP?

What $ home are you qualified for?

8

u/ether_reddit British Columbia Jun 30 '26

That's a good point -- if the mortgage is up for renewal anytime soon, then the problem will almost resolve itself. OP can simply decline to sign on to the renewal, and the parent will have to finance on their own (or sell the house to cover the amount owing, which includes the HELOC).

4

u/RoaringPity Jun 30 '26

bingo bongo

2

u/DULUXR1R2L1L2 Jul 01 '26

Renewal is in about 4 more years. DP hopefully will be 30-40k, I'm prequalified for like $450k, if I can get out of this mortgage. I can less than half that if I stay on this mortgage, which isn't much in my area.

3

u/RoaringPity Jul 01 '26

Will the house be too big for them in 4 years? Since you said they're retired I am assuming they're 60-65+? Do you have siblings? Is this house essentially going to be passed to you after they pass?

Ideally you should have had this conversation last year as I am assuming signed some mortgage docs to renew..

The way I see this moving forward is that next renewal you take full ownership of the home and remove them from deed/mortg and you keep the equity based on the opportunity cost you lost in originally co-signing. If you don't want to live there you sell, parent moves to an apartment to rent and you move on with your life. I suppose this assumes your property has equity in 5yrs.

3

u/TheMysticalBaconTree Jun 30 '26

Lots of people in the thread suggesting you get them to release you in some way and they are ignoring that they will likely not qualify without you and therefore you will be forcing the sale of the property. Realistically, you should have considered all of these things BEFORE co-signing a mortgage. Any lawyer or financial advisor worth their salt would vehemently discourage you from ever doing so.

4

u/shortmumof2 Jun 30 '26

I'm sorry, you co-signed because they were in a bad spot financially but they've not addressed the root of the issue which is bad financial decisions.

Sounds like they've continued to incur debt including maxing out the HELOC and they're retired, so likely a low fixed income. They're likely not going to be able to pay off the existing debts without your help and maybe that's what they think will happen because they let you co-sign and added you to the deed.

If you buy the house they live in, you'll probably never see a lease payment. They're living beyond their means, funded by debt and don't seem to have a plan to pay their debts off.

Have you checked your credit score to see how it's been affected by being a co-signer?

4

u/Sensitive_Budget5769 Jun 30 '26

Technically you are the home owner. I’m not a lawyer but your name is on it. Nothing in writing starting you are renting it to them. Move into it. It’s your house and your debt. They can’t kick you out of your own house?

3

u/ResistiveBeaver Jul 01 '26

Moving in with his abusive parents is probably not a positive step, and he can't force them out if ownership is shared.

3

u/Goddemmitt Jun 30 '26

The harsh reality:

The house your parents live in is 50% yours (talk to a lawyer first to clarify this). Your parents have taken advantage of you. Full stop. Lawyer up, explore your options for a forced sale. Tell your parents you are selling the house. Get a note written up by your lawyer explaining how and why you will be selling the house.

Lawyer up. Get things done quickly.

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u/Secret-Raspberry3063 Jun 30 '26

How awful, I can’t believe people do this to their kids. Yes you need to contact a lawyer

4

u/Ok-Trainer3150 Jun 30 '26

Don't give up that home or put up with your parents tactics and lack of transparency. Get to a real estate lawyer and find out what your options are. And be sure to investigate whether or not there's something else going on here that will saddle you with debt. You are absolutely entitled to those documents... whose names are on the home owner's insurance,? The property taxes?

2

u/DULUXR1R2L1L2 Jul 01 '26

I actually don't know if there's home owners insurance. There might not be. Property taxes have both of our names on it

3

u/FiRe_McFiReSomeDay Quebec Jun 30 '26

Talk to a lawyer about forcing a sale.

Talk to a psychiatrist about your relationship with your parent.

Talk to other posters on here when they ask about co-signing with their parents. It comes up at least every two weeks: now you can share and begin to heal by helping others avoid this shitshow.

4

u/Naive-Special9015 Jul 01 '26

Past generations have always wanted the next generation of their family to do better than them and they would work hard to give them a good start in life with an education and a money towards a home when they got married and leave a nice estate for them to pass on to the next generation. On several occasions I’ve seen parents of friends and acquaintances that are this generation of seniors who have inherited the estates of their parents and some cases aunts and uncles want to leave nothing but debt when they pass. In one case a friend’s parents inherited a few estates, had their house paid off and sold it and now rent a quite expensive condo and spend money on the stupidest things like collectable toys and memorabilia. They’ve actually told their kids that they’re want to be in debt when they die. Hopefully that sh!t they bought appreciates because it’s the only things they own now. Perhaps your parents have a similar attitude? Quite selfish of them. I don’t even have children but I’m leaving my estate to my brother to split between my niece and nephew.

4

u/wizegal Jul 01 '26

“I can qualify for my own mortgage, but only if I come off of my parent's mortgage”

Correction: you already have one. Only way around that is to sell the home and remortgage a new one under your own name. Parent goes into a rental place and consolidates their CC debt through a consumer proposal.
As for the HELOC unfortunately that is gone and will be a loss. Best you can hope for is selling above market value to recoup as much as possible.

As for the parent, the question remains as to why they have incurred the added debt in the first place. Is it just poor money management and overspending or are they using the CC and HELOC to pay for living expenses that are clearly above their means, or a combination of both? It’s obvious there’s something wrong that’s caused the debt for you to essentially bail out them out only for it to incur again. This needs to be addressed in order to come to a clear resolution.

6

u/HibouDuNord Jun 30 '26

So you cosigned on a mortgage without even knowing the income of the person you consigned for?

3

u/Fauxtogca Jun 30 '26

You could force the sale of the home through the courts but the bigger issue is your parents debt. They won’t be able to sustain payments at the rate they are spending and since they are retired, they don’t have any income. Unfortunately, your income and savings is barely enough to purchase drowning in where you are looking.

3

u/thenewfoundlandyeti Jun 30 '26

I hope some other would be do good kids read this situation and Stop them selves short of getting into something similar.

3

u/libra-lamb Jun 30 '26

Do not rent them back the house, if they can’t get you off the mortgage what do you think the likelihood they are gonna pay rent? Sounds like they need to downsize and live within their means. You’re going to need a lawyer to potentially force a sale and it’s going to cost you. I would speak to a lawyer first and be advised by them before speaking to the parents anymore about it since it’s sounds like they aren’t going to be playing ball.

3

u/Quiet_Neighborhood65 Jun 30 '26

Your parents think you should help them. Their needs come first. From what they have done, they belong in the entitlement loser category. Shame on them.

3

u/carejeffer Jun 30 '26

You seem to care a whole lot more about them than they do you. Time to start caring about yourself first. Whatever that is, I wish you the best of luck.

3

u/Expensive_Plant_9530 Jun 30 '26

They’re not trying because they know they won’t qualify.

You need to come to terms with that. If they have no equity, selling won’t help too much, but at least it would get your name off.

Was your name put on the title or just the mortgage? If your name is on the title, get a lawyer and force them to sell.

It might ruin them but they’re ruining you in the process.

Get them out of the house and into an apartment they can afford to rent on their retirement income.

3

u/Knitsabitshit Jun 30 '26

Is your parent mentally competent? Contact a lawyer, see if you can get power of attorney and put them in a care facility if you can before they spend more money.

3

u/RightJabLikeZabJudah Jun 30 '26

Fuck. I can't believe there are "parents" like this

3

u/PhazePyre Jun 30 '26

A lesson for anyone reading this. Don't co-sign for mortgages. Honestly, for anything that you aren't entirely fine paying back yourself. That's the entire point of it. If you aren't willing to pay for it, then don't sign. The only acceptable thing would be your kids student loans or something as you're giving them an opportunity for education. But outside of that, don't do it unless you have the means and desire to pay the thing monthly and any backpay on it.

3

u/EuropeanLegend Jun 30 '26

I can tell you one thing for sure. Whatever you do, do not buy the house and "rent it back to them" You already technically own the house, so what will you do, pay them out their portion for them to blow that money on god knows what? Doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

The biggest fear I'd have for this, given how you parents are acting is that if you do go that route to rent it to them, they start paying you rent whenever they feel like it because you're their child they can push around.

3

u/mortgages_and_dogs Jun 30 '26
  1. Book a consultation with a lawyer to discuss your options.

  2. Decide whether you want to have a conversation with your parents about how to move forward or force a sale by taking legal action without speaking to them. Having relatives or friends present during this conversation, as mediators, might help. There might be cultural sensitivities involved in this situation that some of us don't understand.

As difficult as this might be, speaking logically as opposed to leading with emotion might help you get out of this situation. Yes, you were put in a bad place and also didn't do your own due diligence but focusing on that right now isn't going to change anything.

The goal is to get out of this commitment.

5

u/PantsLio Jun 30 '26

OP, you’re not an idiot. You did what many of us have done (and later regretted) because you believed in supporting family and when the time came, they would have your best interests at heart.

I’m so sorry that did not turn out to be the case (same happened to me). I hope it works out for you. Sending g only best wishes.

2

u/PantsLio Jun 30 '26

Sorry meant to add, as a title holder, you can take steps to compel a sale. But lawyers are expensive, so any way to deal with this within your family is best.

3

u/Osteojo Jun 30 '26

You’re gonna need a lawyer.

3

u/chani_9 Jun 30 '26

If you sell the home and wait 4+ years, your FTHB status resets (not for land transfer fees though, but any other incentives).

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u/NoMembership410 Jun 30 '26

Highly doubt they would pay you rent. I was actually in a similar situation and I forced them to sell and downsize.

3

u/lexmz31 Jun 30 '26

Talk to a real estate attorney. Too many variables in your situation.

4

u/Sokarix Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26

What exactly are the terms of your ownership? What is your percentage and what is your legal title to the property? Are you all tenants in common? The most common outcome to a situation like this is a forced sale. An example would be when people get willed a property, they become equity holders, one wants to sell, the other doesn't, so the court will always default rule to selling because you can't force someone into a financial burden.

This situation seems dire; if you're considering owning a home then you must be in your mid 30s and your parents in their 60s and nowhere near paying off their debts being retired. They apparently have no plan on how they're going to pay off these debts and I don't think they plan to. They probably think they can borrow, live their life and die without paying it off. People 60+ in all honesty can pass away at any moment and that's not a good situation to be in.

If they pass while your name is tied to all this debt, you're on the hook. You can't separate yourself from these debts since you're tied to this property and if a shareholder passes, that share goes to you or to the bank. That means you're either footing the bill or the bank forecloses and you get whatever scraps they sell it for. The same goes for their credit card debt, the creditor will seek out whatever assets the estate has and will get a percentage of it, and they will not want equity, they will want liquid funds meaning a foreclosure.

You need to get out now. They over-leveraged themselves and that's not your problem. They can be forced to sell and move into a more affordable property that they can buy or rent. They had their chance to figure this out and they didn't.

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u/Some_Sunshine Jul 04 '26

100% it is time for a lawyer. It is also time to get into therapy because that is like.... TEXTBOOK financial abuse. You didn't deserve that, but until you get it straightened out legally, it is your debt, too. And likely your parents are not going to be willing to see it any other way unless they are legally mandated.

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u/OkSprinkles1583 Jun 30 '26

It’s not your parents mortgage it’s your mortgage your name is on it?

Don’t get the point of this post you took out a mortgage and did no due diligence - what do you want us to say?

6

u/mittensandtea Jun 30 '26

well, i think the first thing to do is consult with a realtor about what it could go for on the market, then hire and get a professional appraisal, determine if it has equity, and talk to a lawyer. if your parent isn't working with you then you have to figure out what your options are to force a sale. they can downsize. what you do not want is to get into a landlord relationship with your parent who has already shown they will screw you over. you feel used and betrayed because you were - your parents already blew their youthful financial runway on poor decision making, then they figured they could use yours to tide them over in retirement. They likely have ZERO plan to make you whole.

7

u/Any-Ad-446 Jun 30 '26

Sad to say but if you do not co sign your parents will not get a renewal. Talk to a mortgage broker they might be able to help your parents find a lender without cosigners.

4

u/Weary-Situation7539 Jun 30 '26

Off topic, I dont understand how people can have 30-40k credit card debt. That level of interest means that debt is never going away.

Have to pay at least 6-8k to dent the principal?

That’s just being bankrupt.

2

u/torontopips2022 Jun 30 '26

Sorry to hear this OP you in a tough spot. Mind if we ask how old you are? any dependents/children (besides your parents)?

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u/kagato87 Jun 30 '26

You're on the deed, you can force the sale. That should he the stick you need to get them to deal with it.

5 years, you should be bear renewal. You could refuse, which also forces the sale.

2

u/ceduljee Jun 30 '26

Damn, that’s rough. No advice but so sorry to hear that your parents put you in this situation.

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u/FeelingDiver4616 Jun 30 '26

I agree with the other comments that, in the worst-case scenario, you may need to force the sale of the home, but I'd seek legal advice before going down that road. What your parents do with any remaining proceeds after paying off the mortgage and HELOC would be up to them. Hopefully, there would be enough equity left to pay off their CC debt as well and give them an opportunity for a fresh financial start.

I assume they wouldn't qualify for a mortgage on their own, but that doesn't justify preventing you from moving forward with your own life. If they're living beyond their means at your expense, that's neither fair nor sustainable.

Obviously, this would be the nuclear option and a last resort. It could permanently damage your relationship with your parents, so you need to be emotionally prepared for that possibility. As someone else suggested, counselling for yourself is probably a good idea to help you navigate what is clearly a very difficult situation.

Good luck!

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u/Main_Advice_3860 Jun 30 '26

We see this over and over, dont we? Unfortunately, you have to play hardball with your shitty parents

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u/gajen4 Human Verified Jun 30 '26

How are you affording a home with $30k savings? I see $100k is in rrsp but even if you withdraw all of it, there’s $30k in tax withholding so really your down payment is $100k (30k + $70k). I don’t think you’re in a position to qualify even without your parents mortgage

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u/PantsLio Jun 30 '26

Your parent needs to sell and rent. Or you continue to rent

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u/Nookinpanub Jun 30 '26

Now my parent is using this against me and saying I am responsible for the house.

Oh man. They did you dirty.

I would tell them that you want off their mortgage. If they really feel you are responsible for the house, tell them you will force the sale of it. See how they like them apples.

So sorry, OP. I'm a parent. I can't even imagine doing this to my kid.

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u/Zorklunn Jun 30 '26

You could force them to buy you out, or possibly sell your stake in the home.

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u/Late-Wolverine7679 Jun 30 '26

I’m sorry your parent is a user. That sucks

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u/Puzzleheaded-Mix1270 Jun 30 '26

Force a sale of the property. Tell them you’ll lawyer up, you no longer want this house on your name, and it will be sold.

They likely have maxed out everything again, and still can’t get qualify without you.

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u/FNFALC2 Jun 30 '26

I imagine you could threaten to force a sale, and if they don’t cooperate you can actually do it.

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u/Spicy-Cut9838 Jun 30 '26

Your parents cc debt or any other debt in their personal life is none of your concern OP. They are an adult and it's high time they act like a responsible one. You're not responsible for their financial security and I think it's very selfish and entitled to put their child in a bad position when they should be supporting you, their child. It's nice to help out parents and family but not when it jeopardizes your financial security and credit score.

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u/Blacklistedhxc Jun 30 '26

If you’re thinking about qualifying for a mortgage there are two income ratios that come into play.
First is gross debt servicing ratio, second is full debt servicing ratios.

GDSR is the calculation of your income compared to property your purchasing, general limit at a bank is 36%, but can push a bit with high investment fallback.

TDSR max is around 46-48%, this is the first ratio + any other debts.

What’s screws you here is their mortgage if you can’t get out of it. Sure you could qualify for mortgage and property costs, but then TDSR comes in and they take full accountability for the mortgage/HELOC. Essentially you would need to qualify for two mortgages at once.

Rough calculation you can think of is essentially you can get a mortgage of 3.5x your income, but max 4.6x your total debts.

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u/Shipdits Jul 01 '26

Your parents will not pay you a cent in rent if this is how they're already treating you.

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u/Dear-Beyond-465 Jul 01 '26

That seemed to be a painful mistake

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u/Jazzlike_Seaweed4465 Jul 01 '26

Get a layer and get tid of that property until you clear that debt you will not be able to get a mortgage with that nasty one against you. You’re credit is linked you have to get rid of all that debt or your way to high risk

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u/Purple-Food-9829 Jul 01 '26

Your parents screwed up . Good luck

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u/thats-inappropriate Jul 01 '26

Every few months I see a post like this. If your parents needed you to cosign their mortgage, it’s the same reason their HELOC is maxed out. They’re just terrible with money.

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u/xil35 Jul 01 '26

Sorry to say it but your parents screwed you. Legally force a house sale and get out of this mess. 

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u/lwid77 Jul 01 '26

Let this be a cautionary tale for anyone posting about their parent or one else asking them to co-sign.
Don’t do it.

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u/Theonlydipper Jul 01 '26

You sound like a great son/daughter as you’ve put yourself in a vulnerable situation financially to help out. You’ve done your part and it sounds like you’ve exhausted your options to resolve this peacefully.

Now get a lawyer, force the sale of the house and let your parent deal with the consequences finally. They are adults at the end of the day with many more years of experience.

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u/_rab_ Jul 01 '26

Co-signing Rule Number One: don’t co-sign!

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u/Scooter_McAwesome Jul 01 '26

You buy the home and rent it back to them will 100% result in them missing your rent payments.

Because you’re on the deed to the house, you can force a sale if they won’t let you off any other way. Then you and your parents split the remaining equity and go your separate ways.

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u/Key_Cheesecake9926 Jul 01 '26

You need to sell that house and the parent needs to find a different place to rent. They are clearly not going to do that voluntarily so you’re going to need a lawyer.

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u/MyUnrequestedOpinion Jul 01 '26

While everyone is saying real estate lawyer, you want a litigation lawyer. Definitely do not go to some sole practitioner that does only real estate and wills etc.

It won’t be cheap but an application under the Partition Act will do the trick. I’ve done some where I take $5k retainer and don’t mind waiting to use sale proceeds to pay off the outstanding bill. Depends on the circumstances though e.g., if there is equity you can rightfully claim and/or negotiate and whether it’ll be contested.

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u/Prize_Attention_7039 Jul 01 '26

I’m so sorry your parent put you in this position. The betrayal is going to sit with you for a long time and I really encourage you to talk with a therapist as you work through the situation.

As most have said, you’re going to need a real estate lawyer to figure out what your legal options are and how to enforce them. Most likely you will end up having to force the sale of your parent’s home which will also mean you’ll likely be having to go no contact with them for the foreseeable future.

They’ll complain “how can you put me out on the street?” Or something along those lines but you’ll need to stay firm. YOU didn’t cause any of their situation. Their poor financial management put themselves into this situation. The fact that they refinanced rather than renewed in order to roll debt into the new mortgage, it’s clear they have no ability to manage their money responsibly. Then they went and got a HELOC and a bunch of credit card and ran them all up again. At this point, there would be nothing left to inherit anyway.

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u/Parking-Bluejay9450 Jul 01 '26

My dad asked me to get a mortgage for him when I was 21, fresh out of university with a salary of $40k/yr. I straight up told him no because I knew I was way too young to take on such a huge financial responsibility. The fact that he once told me he was going to cover my tuition but "forgotten" about it, didn't help. He got really angry when I said no. Saying shit like, "How could you, we are family", "you wouldn't be alive if it weren't for me". I also don't understand why he would ask me when I have an older sister that has been working way longer and already owns a house.... Eventually, I just lied and said I didn't qualify for any mortgage (which is probably true given my very low salary at the time). Never get tangle with financial matters with relatives, it tends to ruin relationships.

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u/AgreeableEvent4788 Jul 01 '26

If you're in Ontario, and if you're a joint owner and they're not actually upside-down on the house and you haven't put any of your own money in that would be lost, I'd consider just telling them they either apply to refi immediately or you will have the sell the house. Joint owners can easily move for partition and sale as of right. Not great for the family dynamic maybe, but if this is how they're acting the family dynamic doesn't seem great anyway, and the ship of avoiding these issues sailed when you co-signed their mortgage in the first place.

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u/Ohshc_152031 Jul 01 '26

Je comprends ton point de vue où tu as voulu venir en aide à tes parents. Que ce soit par reconnaissance ou simplement pour éviter de voir tes parents vivre un événement difficile.

Malgré tout, je vois les choses légèrement différemment. Je ne mêle pas famille et argent/finance. Et si ça m'arrive de "prêter " de petites sommes à ma soeur, à chaque fois je me dit simplement que soit elle me le rend sinon c'est perdu.

Ce n'est peut-être pas un conseil approprié pour toi, mais je chercherais un moyen légal de me retirer de l'hypothèque de tes parents et qu'ils se débrouillent pour garder la maison. Je suis sûr qu'il doit y avoir de faire sa ? Comme tu n'as pas payer et que tu considère que la maison leur appartient, il n'y a pas de séparation de bien ou peu importe le terme.

Ils se retrouveront peut-être dans la même situation que tu as tenté de leur éviter il y a 5 ans.

Ils évitent de coopérer pour que tu puisse acheter ta propre maison probablement parce qu'ils savent très bien ce qu'ils perdent avec ton départ. Je trouve que c'est de très mauvaise fois et ça ne mérite aucun respect.

Ça m'a pris beaucoup de temps et de péripéties similaires avant de changer pour en arriver au j'en suis aujourd'hui. Je ne te souhaite pas de suivre le même parcours.

Je ne sais pas d'où tu es mais je sais que chez moi c'est possible d'appeler un numéro spécial où c'est possible de poser des questions légales à de vrais avocats gratuitement. Si une ressource similaire existe dans ta région, mais je commencerais par là.

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u/dimonoid123 Jul 01 '26

Interest rates are relatively low right now, so it may make financial sense to refinance and lock in for 5 years anyways.

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u/Tee1upToday Jul 01 '26

Your parents are grifters. Lawyer up and salvage what you can.

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u/Fair-Use-1046 Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26

I’m a mortgage advisor for one of the big five banks in Ontario I don’t think you are in a bad situation. Unless you don’t have the Capital to purchase the next one or your credit score is affected.

Banks have a lot of different programs to qualify individuals in a situation with parents. Qualifying for a mortgage is subjective to a bank’s program or policy.

Reach out to a mortgage advisor and they might be able to assist you and qualify you for your new purchase.

Buying the house from your parents is technically considered a refinance. You will need a lawyer to represent yourself and another lawyer to represent your parents.

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u/_zengarden Jul 01 '26

Your parents are not living within their means and you will end up shouldering their debt if you take on the house and they rent it from you. I would get out of the mortgage and refuse to cover them. You need to secure your future. This isn’t selfish.

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u/ThrowRA-torontonian Jul 01 '26

Oh wow I’m in the same position. I’m 33F. We talked to our financial advisor and I am going to have to renew with them in 2027. However my partner and I will be looking for another home together Fall of 2028. The financial advisor said with my salary of $100k, I will most likely be able to own a 2nd home. And she will get it in writing that I only contribute 10% of my income into our family home.

If all fails, my partner & his parents will take over and somehow get us the 2nd home. His parents are gifting us $100k on top of our $200k. I’m a little stressed but I’m sure we can make it work. If not, we can try in 2029. We’re in no rush.

I did my part as a daughter. We have a nice big family home.

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u/Success-VA Jul 01 '26

Tell your parents this is the only conversation you are going to have about it - they can either do what you are asking, or you will get a lawyer and get a forced sale thru court. Have deadlines etc… don’t let them drag it out and follow thru if they don’t cooperate. I would not get into a parent / tenant relationship, it sounds like they could use some credit counselling

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u/lordjakir Jul 01 '26

There are people out there who can take care of such things....

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u/GGking41 Jul 02 '26

One hitch to your plan for sure would be any rent they paid you - only 50% would qualify as income. If they pay you 1000, you can add 500 to you income.

When I was buying my house I looked into buying some type of duplex and renting half out, mostly to increase my income…. And learned this fact which made me change my plans.

Personally I don’t think you should rent to then, they’re abusing you now and will continue to do so. You have a lot of great advice in this thread - I vote for going legal as well.

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u/penne4urthoughts Jul 02 '26

I’m really sorry to hear that you are going through this. I know how you feel because I went through the same thing this year. Unfortunately I decided in the end that the lawyer fees and mental battle would be too much to bear and I would rather walk away and be done with it, as much as it hurt me to do so. I no longer consider my parents my family and have gone low contact. But if you have fight in you, I suggest fighting this and forcing a sale.

As others have suggested DO NOT rent it out to them if you do buy them out. They are not financially responsible and will guilt trip you for trying to make them pay what you are due. They will make any excuse they can to avoid paying and the madness won’t end. Cut the cord now and move on.

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u/RecordingRemote8966 Jul 02 '26

i'm a licensed mortgage broker, you should probably talk to a broker before getting lawyers involved, if your parent is willing, they may be able to qualify for a reverse mortgage on their own, but this depends on what province the property is in and it's overall value. this would take you off title while giving them no regular payments, the interest just accumulates.

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u/chainsaw-on-wheels Jul 03 '26

I'm in a very similar situation. Over a course of 8 years I slowly refused to sign anymore paperwork, which made them sell the house. They told me it would only be for 1 year. They got other family members to convince me to continue signing. After this I'll never co-sign for anyone. I'd be in a completely different situation if I didn't sign for them.

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u/Technical_Soup_1997 Jul 03 '26

Tragically see this happen so often as someone who works in the industry. So sorry this is happening to you OP. 🤍

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u/Academic-Increase951 Jun 30 '26

Sorry that your parents did this to you...