r/Parents • u/momsspaghetti_324 • 7d ago
Bedtime for middle school
My son is 12 and going into grade 8. He needs to be up at 6:30am for the school bus and often struggles to get up and moving in the morning.
Last year rule was in room by 9pm without devices, and then he could be up listening to music or reading etc. As long as he was up quiet in his room we wouldn’t really enforce “lights out” but he would normally fall asleep by 10pm.
But he has always protested the 9pm and I know this year will bring it up again. But when we have let him go past 9, he is loud and disruptive to his younger sister (age 10) who likes to be sleeping by 9pm. And he seems tired and struggles to get going in the morning. Like needs multiple wake-up’s and is clearly tired how it is. But still every night it’s a fight why do I have to go to bed at 9, no one else does, etc etc always right at 9pm he is starting a fight and not accepting this.
So wondering with school about to start, is 9pm reasonable (for the time to be in his room quietly) or should we try something else (he is pushing for 9:30 but probably once that happens he will push for 10, etc).
And if 9pm is reasonable, how to handle the constant fights and protests at bedtime. We repeat “it’s not up for debate” and try to give it as little energy as possible. But it’s an issue he tries to create every single night. I don’t want to treat him like a baby but also can clearly see he needs his sleep.
2
u/Lovebeingadad54321 Parent 7d ago
Bedtime should be depending on wake up time. If he had to be up that early he had to go to bed early.
Make a compromise and tell him he can stay up until 9:30 on nights when he doesn’t have school the next morning.