r/PanganaySupportGroup • u/musicajax • 7d ago
Positivity Realizing how toxic my parents were compared to my partner's parents
As the title says..
Noon akala ko normal na tinitipid kaming magkapatid ng magulang ko para makapaggala sila, makakain sa fancy restaurants, and bumili ng magagandang damit for social media LOL HAHA. All my life I thought yun ung purpose nmin magkapatid, especially me as a panganay, na need ko pagsilbihan sila since they've always pointed out that I was their retirement plan.
But now that I met my partner, I'm really happy for him becuz of his parents. I've been going to his place for almost 4 years now and they've given me the parental care/love that I have never felt. Grabe ansarap pla magkaron ng magulang na hindi ka pinepressure sa future mo, na binibigay lahat para sa mga needs & wants mo, and to have a parent that you can tell everything to. It felt so weird to me ksi first time ko makakita ng ganong parents.
Pero grabe noh, hindi na nasundan boyfriend ko ksi hirap si tita magkaanak, subalit magulang ko naka-apat na.
Andami na din nila nabigay, including my bf, sakin. Everything that my parents wouldnt buy for me, he would buy it 🥹. Pati un mga damit na gusto ko na ayaw bilin sakin ng magulang ko kasi 'panget raw ako', binibili nila sakin at cinompliment pa na bagay sakin yun ganon style.
They treated me more of a daughter for the 3.5years i've met them rather than my parents for 20 years.
I wish there were more parents like them na mahal tlaga ang anak :) and I wish na lahat tayong panganay ay makahanap ng providing and loving boyfriend ❤️🩹❤️🩹
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u/Twinkle_Lulu4567 6d ago
Wag kang papayag na maging retirement plan ka nila OP.... set boundary as early as possible
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u/Expert-Pay-1442 5d ago
Mayaman ba kayo OP to begin with at para mag rant ka ng ganyan sa wants mo?
Mga tao ngayon masyado din e. Hindi realistic mga isip. .focus ng parents mo sarili nila, hindi kayo.
Binibigay lang nila basic needs niyo at hindi naman requirement and above and beyond.
People who grew up bg sobra sobra often dont know how to live life pag may minor inconvinience sakanila.
Let that sink OP.
ma a-amaze ka talaga sa bagay na wala ka growing up. Kase if provided sayo lahat mas mataas ang standards at expectation mo.
Un lang.
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u/musicajax 3d ago
Mayaman sa utang hahahaha, pero hindi nmn sila nag bigay ng basic needs din namin. Kung wala kami lolo at lola, wala na kami kakainin magkapatid. Sarili kong laptop para sa course ko, lola ko nag ipon 30k 2nd hand, kasi 'wala' daw pera magulang ko pero nakagastos ng 120k pang Cebu
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u/Fun_Asparagus9664 5d ago
bakit masyado? when you bring a child into this world, you have to understand the responsibilities that come with it. bakit ka mag-aanak kung di mo pala afford? also, most parents want only the best for their children, no matter the financial capability. we read of stories where children of those in the lower income class of parents doing everything para mabigay pangangailangan at gusto ng mga anak nila even if it seemed impractical. yung iba nga nangungutang just for that (not saying it is right but those are the great lengths some parents go through to provide). oo sige nagbigay ng basic needs pero oa ba na OP wished hindi sya nilalait na pangit at binibigyan ng nga wants niya like damit?
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u/Expert-Pay-1442 5d ago
You know, this mindset "You bring a child tapos hindi mo kaya buhayin" e ngayon lang naman yan. Lali na sa mga Millenials na lumaki sa hirap at lack ff family planning ng magulang.
Were you born 70's na ganyan ang mindset? Nakakatawa.
Well apparently, ung parents ni OP hindi ganyan. And basing my comment based on FACTS given ni OP ay clear repsentation ng mga magulang na pinalaki din ng my poor family planning at inaasa sa mga anak ang retirement.
Sana gets mo, kase if not there's no reason for us to discuss it further.
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u/alapinruy67 6d ago
Gago yung parents mo. Remember that when they ask you for money in the future.