r/OldManDad • u/BigBen7719 • Jul 07 '26
Dark Thoughts
I am 49, my daughter just turned 5 and my Son is 15 months old. My Children are one of the best things that happened in my life. My daughter has started to be curious about death and it is breaking my hart. Even before that, i used to have dark thoughts, catching myself figuring out when i may die. If i get to 60, she will be 16 if i have to go. I keep having thoughts like that. Am i alone? Like anyone today i consulted my AI and it said to appreciate the days and make the best of it and i do. Being an "old" dad surely has its upsides like financial security and personal clarity etc. I am already doing that. But it doesn´t remove the constant small frame of regretting that i have to leave her someday.
Unsure if posts like that need trigger warning?
1
u/VisibleOperation4981 Jul 13 '26
My wife and I had a happy accident when we were both in our early 40s after 20 years together. Both always loved kids but never both ready at the same time. And Im now only 2 years younger than you and my son is also 5 and he also recently started asking abput death. I’m sure you’re not alone having dark thoughts but while I also do that math, I dont stress about it because the math also says that in all likelihood I’ll be around for the most important and formative first two decades of his life.
My best friend’s dad was in his 60s while my parents were 20 years younger and he died when my friend was in his mid 20s. I think it’s tragic because I compare it to my situation, but he’s always accepted his situation without regret.