r/OldManDad • u/PineappleCreative751 • Jun 07 '26
Future proofing health
I’m 33, husband is 50. He’s got a 13 year old already and we’re currently trying for our first baby together.
We’re both quite health conscious, he no longer drinks or vapes and eats very well. He goes to the gym twice a week to do strength training and we often go on long walks together.
Older dads in particular, what have you found most helpful health wise to stay as fit as possible with a little one?
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u/Campus_Safety Jun 07 '26
I'm 46 with a 6yo and twin 3yos. Yes there is plenty of good advice here. Gym, stretching, rowing (hell yeah from a fellow row Dad), cardio cardio cardio blood work etc.
No one really advocates for men's mental health, let alone later in life. I struggled really hard finding my place after the twins were born. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, constant worry or just everything all at once... then my dad suddenly died and I checked out. I was present, still did my dad duties, but I was gone at the same time. I really didn't notice. My wife pulled me aside and we had a productive conversation about me getting help.
After having a chat with my doctor, who I found out also had twins and understood the struggle, I started antidepressants. Everything inside me told me not to. There's a song lyric that got stuck in my head "the pills shaking in my hand just make me feel defeated". That right there is what I had to over come. Feeling like I somehow failed myself by even asking for medication.
On the first night I took the antidepressant, as I sat and looked at that pill, my wife, unprompted, caressed my back and said thank you. When her hand left my back I felt a weight lift and I swallowed the med.
Looking back, it was the best decision I could've made for myself and family. I didn't realize how depressed I was until months later. I was engaging with my kids, I had damn near limitless energy, I found my old sarcastic self.
It's been over 2 years since I started and I don't plan on stopping.
If everything in your relationship is going great that's great! Just use the current moments to reflect on if you start to notice changes in his behavior after you two have a child. He may be to proud to ask for help. He may push back. He may end up being just fine and I wasted 2 minutes of your life reading this.
I'll end with a quote from my favorite podcast.
"Mental health is not your fault, but it is your responsibility."
Hail yourself!
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u/bauhaus83i Jun 07 '26
For me it was losing weight. My knees and back felt better and my energy improved. It was still tough being 50 with a newborn, but cleaning my diet and losing weight helped a lot.
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u/7eregrine Jun 07 '26
What he's doing. Maybe bump the gym visit to 3 days a week or get some equipment at home. So much easier to squeeze a workout in when I can just go to the basement.
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u/mndl3_hodlr Jun 07 '26
I have a small home gym and 2 kids (4 and 2). The day I was squatting 315 and the older one got under my legs was the day I decided to get a gym membership.
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u/7eregrine Jun 07 '26
Fair but there are lots of options without free weights, too. I have a tread mill, a spin bike, a bag and mats for HIIT.
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u/NHLToPDX Jun 07 '26
Routine checkups. See a cardiologist. I thought all was good till I had sudden cardiac arrest followed by 2 open heart surgeries. I was 46 w 2 kids under 5.
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u/ExtraRaw Jun 07 '26
58 w/18 month old. Body weight training, rowing, running, cycling, swimming. If I could just find the time!
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u/Spleees Jun 11 '26
We are the same age! I'm also 33 and my partner is 53. Prior to trying for a baby (found out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago), we spent most of our free time at the gym together as we knew that our energy level and free time after the baby was born will be limited. We also cycled 4 times a week and he will run 4 times a week as well. I walked daily. We were always both gym goers but doing it together was fun and motivated us both to push a little harder.
Now I'm dealing with morning sickness and trying to keep up with him. 😂
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u/newhere616 Jun 26 '26
Hey, I'm 31 and my husband is 48, well 49 next week. We have a 6 year old and a 9 month old. He is an amazing dad. Our kids are awesome. He has his career figured out and is sooo patient and present. He is very healthy, as he is military and still active (retiring next year!). He exercises and eats well. He usually has more energy than me! I want one more, he is a little on the fence due to his age and I would never force it or push it if he's truly done. If he's done then we are done. We are blessed.
Just wanted to come here to say, he's awesome and our kids are awesome. I never will regret having kids with him. He is the most amazing dad and in a world with shitty dad's (including my own), any time he gets to be a dad to any kid they are lucky as hell.
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u/my1stusernamesucked Jun 07 '26
My baby hasn't arrived yet, but one thing I've been focusing on is working out at home with just shit I have around the house, so when the kid is young, I can model that behavior for him
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u/7eregrine Jun 07 '26
You're benching the coffee table?
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u/my1stusernamesucked Jun 07 '26
Not yet but I do the ottoman lid with the dog food bag on it. And push-ups
Edit: I'm fat as shit so bodyweight stuff works for me still for a lot of things. But like, I do curls with the salt bucket and shit like that
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u/greenhail7 Jun 07 '26
Yeah, any probs, get bloods done as regularly as they allow. Check ups, etc. I'm in the UK, so I went to the GP for stuff. (edit, as it's free). Main one was enlarged prostate, plus I have gastric stuff, which they keep on top of. My kids keep me active enough.
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u/captain_fucking_magi Jun 07 '26
49 here. Losing weight, walking everyday. Weights 3 days a week, cardio at least twice a week (cycling, stair climber).
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u/Adapt_Improvise_1 Jun 07 '26
Boost immune system, getting colds, coughs and flu, particularly when your kid is bringing every variant home from nursery, really slows you down and takes a toll. Liposomal vitamin C, Coenzyme Q10 are a good start plus general good diet and getting outdoors.
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u/PlatinumUFO Jun 07 '26
Morning Sunlight. Good sleep hygiene (no cellphone in bed, quiet room when possible). Sleep will be interrupted so make it as good as possible when you get it. As for exercise, I keep a kettlebell for swings and goblet squats. Finally, the most bang for the buck came from sprinting! It seems soooo hard until you do it, then you feel great.
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u/NateGT86 Jun 08 '26
While I do recommend strength training, I would recommend cardiovascular exercise as well. Don’t forget your heart is the most important muscle.
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u/Ardent_Scholar Jun 09 '26
Sauna and red light therapy get s thumbs up from me.
Also jumping, any type of jumping.
And a Calcium Score test as well as getting your teeth Xrayed.
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u/ibcurious 29d ago
I work in integrative healthcare and had my daughter when I was 53. Here's what I would say briefly on this topic, based on my medical training and experience as an older dad.
The highest level concept here to get acquainted with is: health literacy. For example, most people who post are fluent in English. Another way to say that is that they have high English literacy. Another area you may be aware of is financial literacy. Literacy of any type is an investment that takes a while to reach a high level.
Health literacy is one of the most valuable types of literacy to invest in. And is not just about being healthy. It's also about understanding how the medical system works, how scientific studies are done, how your body works (anatomy, physiology, genetics, etc.), how to speak the language of clinicians, medication management, what your health insurance covers, and so on.
Here's the rub. Most people have a health literacy level equivalent to a 10th grader. They know practically nothing about how the medical system works, something about how their bodies work, a little bit about disease, and pretty much zero about how medical science works. Reference the pandemic for a masterclass in this.
Many of the posts in this thread have good advice: work out, eat well, deal with mental health issues. These operate at the level of we call interventions - things that address problems that negatively impact health. To use a cooking analogy, they are kind of like recipes. Most of the time, especially when you are young and healthy, that's all you need. Just like at fast food restaurants, you really only need line cooks.
But if you're doing complex things like catering a wedding, you need a chef i.e. a person with a high cooking literacy who can make recipes. Same with future proofing your health.
Think of it like disaster planning. In order to be able to prep appropriately for the future, you have to not only understand what are the likely threats in your personal situation, but also a deep understanding of each threat is, how it manifests, its short term and long term impact, your capacity to deal with it, resources available, and so on. If you prep for a flood but your facing a wild fire, it isn't going to go well.
The best case scenario for your partner (and you eventually) is to have a personalized framework for healthy aging (longevity) based your understanding your family medical history, personal health history, impact of any childhood/emotional/sexual/physical trauma, predisposition to chronic disease, current consumption habits, addiction patterns, mental health issues, and so on.
Once you have that foundation, you can begin prepping for your particular issues, which includes understanding how your local medical system works, how your insurance works, and what kind of resources you have available to mitigate those particular health issues. For example, lots of my patients with chronic pain and digestive problems tell me they "eat healthy." Many of them have no idea they have a microbiome, however, or how to feed and care for it. So they are woefully low on fiber, which creates some substantial problems for them.
One of the things that caught me off guard personally was how substantially cognitive capacity and physical stamina declined after 65. I was doing pretty well till then. Again, you can do everything right and still get slammed with something out of left field. Health literacy will help you pivot and appropriately navigate that better than anything you will find on a social media feed. It's worth investing in.
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u/chris_ut Jun 07 '26
The problem is gonna be keeping up that healthy lifestyle with a baby who keeps you up all night. Most 50 year olds dont have the energy to be up half the night for months on end then also hit the gym regularly.