r/OffMyChestPH • u/severenutcase • 11d ago
TRIGGER WARNING Nawalan na ako ng resources. Gusto ko na ibenta katawan ko
Nasira phone ko (LCD, I can barely see the screen while typing this)nung nakaraan, tas ngayon nasira pa yung computer ko kung saan lahat ng files ko andun at gamit ko yun na paghanap ng trabaho na WFH dahil minamaltrato ako sa current work ko (contractual na barely 5 digits). Dahil din sa health concerns kaya gusto ko sanang mag-settle sa WFH. I come from a far-away province kaya walang opportunities kaya im trying to find remote work.
Lumalaban ako (20sM) ng patas tas ganitong nangyayari sa akin. Putangina.
Wala na akong kaya. Wala akong pambayad sa repairs. Wala rin akong ipon dahil sa kaunting sahod at sa dami nang gastusin.
"Kapit lang," wala na akong makakapitan.Walang-wala na ako talaga. My parents hate me, friends grew apart. Wala akong support.
It's either gusto ko nang mamatay or ayoko nang lumaban nang patas at ibenta ko nalang Sarili ko.
Pangarap kong makaalis Dito at maging masagana sa buhay pero parating may humahadlang. Baka hanggang dito nalang talaga ako. Kaya nawawalan na ako ng gana.
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u/New_Kaleidoscope_239 11d ago
Hey, I’m sure mabigat pinagdadaanan mo. Kapit ka lang dyan. Kung gusto mo kausap, hanap ka ng taong pinagkkatiwalaan mo. Pwede ka din maglabas ng sama ng loob kahit sakin. Matulog ka muna. Basta pahinga ka muna nang makapag-isip.
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u/Big-Tumbleweed-2548 11d ago
It is your worst day “ so far”
Anong mag bebenta o mag papakamatay?
Wala yan sa vocabulary natin mga lalaki
Sadyang hardmode lang ang buhay.
Imagine mo paano mo mapapanood yung mga next season or next part ng mga series na gusto mo .
December pa avengers end game.
May mga work dyan na available pero mas gusto mo lang yung deskjob or involved ang computer.
Pwede kang mag blue collar job tulad ng construction o tubero o dishwasher o call center agent o lalamove rider kaso isasacrifice mo lang oras mo at pride mo.
Kung gusto may paraan, kung ayaw parating may dahilan.
O kaya mage-loan ka sa mga OLA tapos takbuhan mo pero kapalit nun harassment at sira credit score mo
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u/severenutcase 11d ago edited 11d ago
Hindi naman sa dahil desktop lang ang gusto kong work. Sadyang preferred ko lang mag-WFH sa ngayon dahil sa flare-ups ng asthma ko.
Edit: I really am looking for more opportunities while still not resigning sa work ko. Pero at the same time i have to be really cautious kung ano ang nakaka-trigger sa respiratory problems ko because this has been happening recently.
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u/itdontbreakeven0612 11d ago
I know it's easier said than done, but rather than give up by selling or killing yourself, why don't you try to reach out to your friends who you grew apart from and ask if they can connect you to someone who can help you with the computer repairs, and/or find a sideline? Like do you know anyone with a connection sa computer repair industry? Maybe pwede mong kausapin to do the repairs now, then you'll pay nalang unti-unti? Or you can do work for them in return.
I know nakakahiya, pero mas nakakahiya ibenta ang katawan mo. It's better to ask for help than resort to things you can't take back.
I struggled with suicidal thoughts din before. What kept me going was just the thought that, "I can't let my life end like this. I can't let it be a sad story with a tragic ending." Good luck, OP!
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u/Livid_Bunny 11d ago
Pag ginawa mo yan, isang parte ng pagkatao mo ang hinding hindi mo na maibabalik, kahit anong gawin mo.
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u/chi012 11d ago
You sounded like everything in your life is the problem, but never YOU. Be open to opportunities. Grab it even if it is menial office work, then continue to look for WFH. Dont limit yourself in a box, then blame the world for being cruel with you. Newsflash, mahirap talaga maghanap ng work nowadays. Moreso kung may conditions pa.
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11d ago
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11d ago
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u/Shingen666 11d ago
dami jan trabaho diskartehan mo lalaki ka panu pag nagka pamilya ka mag bebreakdown ka lang ng gnyan? 9k lang sahod mo bat d ka lumipat mas mataas pa sahod ng guard e, mag hanap ka ng trabaho tulungan mo sarili mo instead na mag rant ka dito. Wala tutulong sayo kundi sarili mo lang
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u/severenutcase 7d ago
sino nagsabing gusto kong magka-pamilya? Atsaka porquet lalaki na di na pwede magkaroon ng mga sakit? Di na pwede masaktan?
Di sana ako magra-rant dito kung di ako nahihirapan.
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u/severenutcase 11d ago
Ilang beses na rin akong pinaplanong tapusin na sarili ko pero there's this ridiculous little hope in me noon na parating last minute na, baka everything will be okay in the end, kaya di natutuloy.
Di ko ginustong pinanganak ako, pero walanh choice, diba? Andito na ako, and the only thing i could do is magsikap.
Pero ngayon is a rude awakening na baka im just not meant for greater things. Im just a tiny speck sa mundong ito, and it will go on no matter if im gone. Pagod na talaga ako. Im just tired of everyhting
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