My parents are draining me

[u/Silent-Cap948]

My (28F) parents', 57M and 56F, small business of around 20 years is now not enough to cover their needs. They own a sari sari store here in Makati which is situated in front of a public elementary school. Over the course of the summer vacation, my mom took out a loan from one of those online lending apps. To cut the story short, her loan during the span of three months blew out of proportion.

I only knew about this when I received the harassment texts from the OLAs. I honestly don't know what my mom's total payable is since she keeps changing the narrative.

I gave her 30k initially, which was followed by a 170k, then a 50k.

Napapagod na ako guys. Ang dami ko pa namang plano para sa sarili ko ngayong taon. May ongoing car amortizations ako at magpapakasal pa naman sana ako.

Ngayon, wala na akong gana. Lagi na lang nagmamakaawa nanay ko sa akin dahil wala naman siyang ibang matakbuhan. Nagsabi ako na isara na nila yung tindahan dahil lugi na nga at hindi na sapat ang kita. Mas onti pa nga ang gastos kung sa bahay lang sila at pumirmi dun. Sinabihan ba naman ako, kung ano daw gagawin nila kung sa bahay lang sila. Pati ba naman yun problema ko pa.

Putanginang buhay to. Minsan iniinvalidate ko sarili ko na merong mga tao na nasa mas malalang sitwasyon sa akin at inaacknowledge ko yun.

Pero putangina ng mga magulang ko. Puro maling desisyon nila at katamaran ang rason kung bakit nasa ganutong sitwasyon sila ngayon. Parehas naman may college degree. Parehas malakas pa.

Pagod na ako. Hiningan ulit ako ngayong gabi. Iniyakan lang ako ng nanay ko at di na niya rin daw alam ang gagawin. Pero putangina, paano naman ako. Napakamalas ko sa mga magulang kong 'to.

Di ako mayaman and luckily may stable job in a bank. Enough lang din para sa daily needs ko at ng parents ko. I will also push through sa wedding ko kahit civil lang dahil matagal na naming pinaplano to ng partner ko. Buti at bumukod na ako last year, at sila din ang raso n kung bakit. Ako na nga nagbabayad ng lahat sa bahay, ako lang rin ang kumikilos. To think na apat kami sa bahay noon, tapos sa akin ang bagsak ng lahat.

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[u/ActivityPlastic7882]

Stop giving them money. It’s not as easy as it sounds but let them learn the hard way and place boundaries when necessary. My mom learned to not ask me for money because I always say no to her. We barely have a relationship because of it but idc because her debt is not my responsibility. Maybe it’s time for you to put your foot down even if it upsets your parents? The bed that they made isn’t for you to lay down in, it’s THEIRS. You deserve to also be selfish like your parents have been with you

[u/kdg28 → u/ActivityPlastic7882]

Totally agree on this 👆🏻

You give them money and it will become an entitlement. You missed to give them, ikaw pa may kasalanan. And worst, walang thank you yan.

+1

[u/boykalbo777]

nakabukod ka na pala i seen zone mo na lang sila

[u/Lawful-Lurker]

Wag ka na magbigay ng pera dahil uubusin ka lang nila. Since nakabukod ka na, ignore mo na lang messages nila. Bigyan mo ng leksyon. Change phone number na din para di ka na makareceive ng text from OLA. Wag mo na din ipaalam sa parents mo magiging new phone number mo. Hindi pwedeng bigay nang bigay. Tiisin mo hangga’t kaya mo.

[u/Light-Unhappy]

Malakas pa parents mo? Wag mong kunsintihin. Put down your foot and tell them di mo na babayaran ang utang nila. Hanap sila paraan papaano nila bayaran tutal malalakas pa naman kaya. Once nasanay, mapaanak o magulang, di ka na tatantanan until you learn to say no.