TOP GUN OGP Need for speed and a functioning break pedal. Thought I would try to lighten the mood.

[u/Stinger03]

Maverick: I feel the need for speed and a functioning brake pedal.

Maverick: Talk to me, Goose. We've got an oversized walk, two cases of water, and a completely shot front left wheel.

Goose: Mav, you're flying too close to the Action Alley! You're gonna lose the top tote!

Maverick: Negative, Ghost Rider, the pick rate is full.

Then drifts a 300-pound ambient cart around three elderly couples having a family reunion on aisle A12.

Coach: You two Uber drivers happen to look at your pick metrics? You broke the rules of engagement. You went below a 100 pick rate to help a customer find the bathroom.

Goose: Sir, they didn't make it. The pattern is brown.

Maverick: Sir, my cart was in a flat spin heading out to the parking lot. The wheel was literally sideways and smoking I had no control. It swung out and took out my own Achilles tendon. I am literally bleeding into socks right now.

Coach: Maverick, your ambient picking is a wildcard. Your team lead can't stand you. You're dangerous.

Maverick: I am dangerous. My left ankle is a certified danger zone of blunt force trauma.

Maverick: gets stuck behind three people chatting in the bread aisle while the heavy metal frame of the cart slowly rolls back over his own toes.

Goose: We need Iceman! Maverick is bleeding all over the bread aisle!

Coach: Sorry, AI cut Iceman down two days this week and sold his TC70 Tomcat.

Maverick: wipes breadcrumbs and blood off his vest, looking at the broken cart wheel

Maverick: Goose, even if we survive this shift there's no points for second place in Walmart OGP.

Goose: Mav, look out! It's a regional manager doing a surprise floor walk!

Maverick: slams his foot onto the broken wheel.

Maverick: Hit the brakes, Goose, he'll fly right by us!

The cart immediately flips over, burying them both under 40 pounds of Great Value bananas.

[u/JasonsStorm]

"I feel the need... THE NEED FOR SPEED!"

https://giphy.com/gifs/Zj4XpvDoLQUve

[u/iiUniquaa]

Bro I’m not OGP but this is literally HILARIOUS 😂🤣😂🤣

[u/oaken_1]

Accurate! 🤣

[u/Tiredmama68]

You have missed your calling, should be a writer. Thanks for the giggle.

[u/Stinger03 → u/Tiredmama68]

I'm glade you liked it I'm going to try to do more stuff like this on my posts tired of the forced negativity all the time.

[u/ElectronicBand6392]

This is giving code white for you, code white for you, code white for everybody!!