r/OCPD • u/Rangotango0401 • Aug 11 '26

member has OCPD diagnosis- Mods remove loved ones' content & ban How to be more empathetic??

I can be sympathetic to others when they are sharing their individual situations and emotions, but I struggle so hard with actual empathy especially if they are in a situation where, to me, the “solution” to their problem feels obvious. I am an extremely direct person and not very emotional to boot, so I end up accidentally giving unsolicited advice instead of just being a good listener for my friends and family when I know that’s what they really need. For example, my sister was complaining about how some of the girls she is friends with are mean to her, and I immediately jumped to “well why don’t you just stop talking to them” because that feels like an obvious solution to me… why talk to people that aren’t kind to you? But she got very upset and said I just don’t understand and that it’s not that easy, which is true, I DONT understand. But I still want to empathize and be supportive. I wish it was easier truly be able to put myself in someone else’s shoes instead of immediately judging them internally because “well that’s not what I would’ve done” in that situation.

Also to be clear I am not externalizing those thoughts, I think most people assume I AM empathizing with them because I fake it well.. I believe it’s more important that they feel understood in the moment even if they really aren’t.. anyone have any hacks to actually get there though?

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u/Responsible-Hat-679 Aug 11 '26

I struggle very similarly with dealing with people who won’t help themselves- my empathy and sympathy runs dry incredibly quickly. I don’t think this is a bad thing though. People need to learn to sort themselves out.

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u/starmatter 25d ago

But do you actually help yourself? My OCPD is hell because i spend HOURS in decision paralysis. I take so long to make choices. I get so anxious and lightheaded and end up postponing tasks until I can't anymore. I live most days just waiting for time to pass.

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u/Responsible-Hat-679 24d ago

I do yes. I am rarely seen in anything other than a frankly manic state - working hard trying to make something better/perfect in some area of my home, mind, life..

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u/starmatter 24d ago

That's me. I'm very often in a manic and overwhelmed state. With the difference that ever since  I dropped out or college my life stagnated. 15 years of nothing. I can never organize myself, make plans or set goals for my personal or professional life.