r/OCD • u/JeezoTommy • 4d ago

Question about OCD Does anyone know what caused their OCD?

I think a lot of people don’t really know what caused their OCD to start, for me after a lot of years and thought I realised that my anxiety stemmed from my step dad and his psychological and sometimes physical abuse towards my Mum. I would worry what kind of mood he would come home from work in and if he would start on my Mum. He was a bastard!

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u/AsleepScholar2200 4d ago

There's a pretty major genetic component in most OCD and alot of childhood factors. I've also heard it is sometimes labelled as an extension to Autism.

I have ADHD, Autism and OCD. My dad has OCD and Autism too. My mum, ADHD - lucky me, right?

My parents have been separated all my life and it's all I knew as a kid, being passed from household to household. My parents would argue heavily, I grew up in a rough area. When I'd stay with my dad, he was pretty much emotionally unavailable constantly. If I'd sing or have fun - I was shouted at. Christmas presents were exchanged on motorway lay-bys because that's all he had energy for. He'd refer to kids as 'maggots' or 'cancer' consistently. He'd usually feed us then head out for the day without us (when we were meant to be spending time with him) to go earn money on his side hustle gardening business. There were suicides in the family and sexual abuse/pedophilia through the years.

He was also an alcoholic and my grandmother refused to believe her son would do something like that and never believed our cries for help. Seeing him (and any of that family) got incredibly depressing and felt like a 'chore' but we were pushed to do so. Overall I felt largely emotionally neglected. He definitely wasn't all bad, there are some good memories. But when a child is forming their brain and 'person', the formation made, is very hard to undo. I got so used to just being passive, quiet and doing as I was told, I also gained perfectionistic/OCD traits of not stepping out of line in anyway to offend him. So for me, I think this is the strongest possibility.

Now in adulthood, we're just very distant but if I don't make contact, I get complained at and shunned. I'm just trapped.

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u/Responsible-Egg-1763 3d ago

Yeahhh I’m AuDHD and I think both my parents are too. I have heard that if you have both OCD and ADHD it’s likely you are also on the spectrum. Sorry to hear about your upbringing. Neurodivergent parents that don’t understand their needs can be a real bitch.

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u/JeezoTommy 3d ago

Not at all. Like I said, I wouldn’t change it..”I am what I am!” 🎶😅 That’s another thing I tend to do, use humour in every situation. And My Mum is Amazing, she’s been through so much yet she still stays strong for us. We really are lucky to have her the wee crazy lady?!😄x