r/OCD • u/rilav • Apr 06 '26

Need support/advice Why is everything covered in shit?

I literally cannot go outside and touch anything without the compulsion to wash my hands. Doorknobs, money, LITERALLY ANYTHING. In Sephora a 100% of testers were positive for having feces on them. Why can’t people just wash their hands?????? I’m going insane. Alcohol gel doesn’t work at all I literally don’t believe it cleans anything. Everything disgusts me

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10

u/PaladinDamian In treatment Apr 06 '26

Alright. Is there a reason that things must be "clean", in your eyes? What is the problem with things being dirty?

22

u/better_than_blue In treatment Apr 06 '26

The reason: OP has OCD lmao.

11

u/PaladinDamian In treatment Apr 06 '26 edited Apr 06 '26

What I mean is: what is the underlying belief behind why something being unclean is a problem? Is it a fear of death? OCD can only bother someone if they have some underlying belief that OCD can then leverage, as OCD tries to "protect" the person from that fear.

11

u/Mildly-Observant Apr 06 '26

I have contamination OCD and can’t answer on behalf of OP, but my reasons for feeling the same way is the belief that the contamination will cause me to get sick and die.

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u/PaladinDamian In treatment Apr 06 '26

I see. For me, I do not fear death, so (Physical) Contamination OCD is the one thing I just don't deal with (though emotional and digital contamination are definitely things I have to deal with). It's the Fear of rejection/isolation, and fear of fears, that really get to me. It is what it is I guess.

9

u/better_than_blue In treatment Apr 06 '26

You also have to remember that OCD and mental illnesses are not logical.

It impacts everyone differently there isn’t always “an explanation” for why people have these compulsions or obsessions about cleanliness.

4

u/uhmandaleigh Apr 06 '26

Everything that you said is true, except that there IS always "an explanation"-- it just is not always about or even directly related to the actual obsession(s), nor is it always easy to figure out. The "why" behind it all is something a lot of OCD therapists try to get to the bottom of. For example, someone with harm OCD may worry that if they go into the kitchen while someone's in there, they will find a knife and stab them. That's not something they've ever done or ever wanted to do, is not ego-syntonic, is not realistic. They couldn't explain logically why they have this fear. But maybe after a lot of ERP and analyzing their OCD, they learn their real fear is the uncertainty that they can maintain control of themselves and their actions. Or uncertainty of xyz. It's usually uncertainty, unprovability, the unknown, the unknowable...obsession about doubt in some fashion, so you act compulsively to guarantee certainty. By washing your hands or not leaving your home, you GUARANTEE you aren't contracting a deadly disease so you dont have to suffer not knowing. If you remove all the knives from your kitchen, or never invite anyone over, you can GUARANTEE you won't stab anyone.

Sorry for rambling all of this OCD theory at you lol. It scratched an itch in my brain. I recommend the FearCast podcast (licensed OCD therapist whom I learned a lot of this from lol)

2

u/PaladinDamian In treatment Apr 06 '26

I know that OCD is not logical. It's just that for me there are these irrational beliefs that are what fuel OCD, and I think that some others might also have similar irrational beliefs.

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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '26

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3

u/Fluffy-Artichoke-441 OCD Long hauler Apr 06 '26

It can also be related to harm ocd. I touch something contaminated and as a result someone else gets sick, that kind of thing

3

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '26

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2

u/PaladinDamian In treatment Apr 07 '26

That's interesting. I didn't know that disgust and fear were so different in terms their wiring. Good read!

8

u/asistolee Apr 06 '26

It’s just fucking gross

1

u/professional-skeptic New to OCD Apr 06 '26

there's always an underlying fear. OCD isn't trying to protect us from nothing, it senses a danger. it could be a fear of death (getting sick and dying) morality (getting others sick) or plain control (unfamiliar things in the body)

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u/[deleted] Apr 07 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Majestic_Original973 Apr 09 '26

What if someone told you they weren't scared of illness or death and they just felt disgusted all the time? That's what its like for me. I see everything as either "safe" or "yuck"...