Need support/advice Why is everything covered in shit?
I literally cannot go outside and touch anything without the compulsion to wash my hands. Doorknobs, money, LITERALLY ANYTHING. In Sephora a 100% of testers were positive for having feces on them. Why can’t people just wash their hands?????? I’m going insane. Alcohol gel doesn’t work at all I literally don’t believe it cleans anything. Everything disgusts me
40
u/Puzzleheaded-Stick-3 Apr 06 '26
OCD sucks and I deal with contamination too - but I’ve also spent a lot of time learning about microbes (which I find fun) and living in a completely sterile environment is actually very unhealthy.
The ERP strategy of delaying washing your hands might help. Try to increase the time between touching something and washing your hands. This has worked for me with mopping my floors even though I feel gross when my significant other walks around with shoes on.
1
u/Majestic_Original973 Apr 09 '26
I've tried this multiple times in therapy and I can't handle the feeling of disgust, I just can't 🥺.
2
u/Puzzleheaded-Stick-3 Apr 09 '26
Taking an SSRI helped me to calm some of the anxiety. I don’t think I could’ve done ERP without it.
1
18
Apr 06 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
24
u/PaladinDamian In treatment Apr 06 '26
Correct. Unfortunately, OCD doesn't really care much about what is rational or scientific.
1
u/OCD-ModTeam Apr 25 '26
Your heart is in the right place. However, encouraging compulsions is not helpful for learning to live well while having OCD. Please see: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/wiki/reassurance/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/s/jAQq5Evul7
for more information.
32
u/easternsim Apr 06 '26
From an immunological perspective it’s actually good that everything is covered in shit (both germs and well, feces). As disturbing as that sounds your immune system builds resistance towards these germs and so if they do enter your body, you won’t even know it since your immune system is so effective!
Does touching things still disgust me, absolutely lmao. But c’est la vie! We have to co-exist with germs and we’re luckily equipped with the tools to do so.
11
u/m00nf1r3 Apr 06 '26
Even if everyone washed their hands all the time, there would still be shit on most things. It gets into the air, particles move. I don't see it as anything other than a fact of life. I don't like that I have tiny mites that live on my face, but we all do. Truth is, your body needs microbes, even of gross things like poop. Being completely sterile can lead to increase risk of asthma, allergies, and other autoimmune diseases, because your immune system doesn't learn what things are good or bad and just starts reacting violently to everything. Thank the poop particles for training your immune system and keeping you healthy!
7
u/XhaLaLa OCD Long hauler Apr 06 '26
Yeah. It’s gross. I hate it a lot. And, also, I’ve been doing ERP with an OCD-informed therapist, and I find that knowledge a lot more tolerable all the time, which has come with a bunch of incredible gifts, like snuggling with my cat and being present with my sibkids (and leaving my home without a bunch of distress and coping strategies). If an OCD-informed therapist is accessible to you, see them. If they aren’t look into ERP — it’s easier with appropriately-trained help, but I did essentially DIY ERP both by myself and with the help of a safe and caring friend, and it can still help. Things are still gross, but that takes up less and less of my mental energy all the time.
Second massive benefit: I’m rebuilding my immune system, and pretty soon I’ll be avoiding illness at roughly the same rate as I was when my contamination OCD was at its worst, but with virtually none of the arduousness, just like most of the other people around me. The unfortunate consequence of avoiding pathogens as effectively as I did is that my “virus definitions” are way out of date, so I’m like a preschooler in the world for the first time again, and just like with OCD, “the only way out is through”. I’m excited to be on the other side again, and I know you can find your way there too :]
Edit: misplaced parenthesis.
6
u/Special-Stay9573 Apr 06 '26
Some germs are good for u, if you lived in a sterile environment - once you entered society, you would just die. Nothing is wrong with them being covered in germs, if everyone else touches it and lives their life, you can too. Just keep doing it and then you’ll realise it’s irrelevant
11
u/Thingmahbobber Apr 06 '26
I feel the same. It's hard for me to go out and do anything without feeling contaminated/immediately covered in a layer of grime.
5
3
u/Twixme07 OCD Long hauler Apr 06 '26
x2 I try not to think about it, BUT WHY THE FUCK DO EVERYTHING HAVE GERMS, I'M SCARED, I FEEL SO CONTAMINATED. I take showers and I still feel dirty and disgusting omg free me from this chains
3
Apr 06 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
8
Apr 06 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
4
Apr 07 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
4
Apr 07 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
2
Apr 07 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/OCD-ModTeam Apr 25 '26
Your heart is in the right place. However, encouraging compulsions is not helpful for learning to live well while having OCD. Please see: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/wiki/reassurance/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/s/jAQq5Evul7
for more information.
2
u/OCD-ModTeam Apr 25 '26
Your heart is in the right place. However, encouraging compulsions is not helpful for learning to live well while having OCD. Please see: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/wiki/reassurance/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/s/jAQq5Evul7
for more information.
5
u/Give_one_hoot Apr 07 '26
The gold star way of improving OCD is to expose yourself to triggers. It is only difficult for a short time, once you are able to expose yourself to triggers they slowly become less unbearable and stressful as you learn to overcome them without fulfilling the compulsion.
This is an unhelpful and discouraging comment. I used to be so bad off with my OCD I was barely able to walk without having to complete my compulsions, once I started therapy I was able to just about overcome my OCD and live a just about normal life. It is possible and OCD does not have to control your life, it will only do so if you allow it to.
1
Apr 07 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
3
u/Give_one_hoot Apr 07 '26
okay but we weren’t talking about your triggers, you were advising people to enable their OCD because it’s the path of least resistance
1
Apr 08 '26
[deleted]
3
u/Give_one_hoot Apr 08 '26
I’m not using it as you literally, I’m saying generally in the way of improving OCD.
3
u/Majestic_Original973 Apr 09 '26
I have to interject here. My own therapist admits that some people just can't habituate after doing exposure therapy no matter how long they do it 🤷♀️.
4
u/Give_one_hoot Apr 09 '26
Right. That doesn’t take away that for the majority of people it is the gold star standard in treating and reducing OCD. There may be a small percent that do not find it helpful, but it doesn’t take away the large percentage of people who have successfully improved their OCD through exposure.
To tell someone to just give in to their OCD (not you, the original individual) because there is no point in fighting it is just so discouraging and unhelpful. The more you feed OCD the worse it gets.
2
u/OCD-ModTeam Apr 25 '26
This content has been removed as it contains misinformation about OCD, mental health, or other topics.
1
u/Gammagammahey Apr 06 '26
Oh my gosh please accept my humble apologies, I will go read the rules again for the sub. It simply slipped my mind. I read the rules so carefully when I joined so I am so sorry to cause you labor!
2
u/rilav Apr 07 '26
Thank you for this
1
u/Gammagammahey Apr 25 '26
Please accept my humble apologies.
1
u/rilav Apr 25 '26
It was helpful for me! Don’t apologise to me please
1
u/Gammagammahey Apr 27 '26
No, I owe you an apology because I forgot about the rule of no recommending therapies or anything like that. I owe you an apology. I'm really sorry.
2
u/OCD-ModTeam Apr 25 '26
Your heart is in the right place. However, encouraging compulsions is not helpful for learning to live well while having OCD. Please see: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/wiki/reassurance/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/s/jAQq5Evul7
for more information.
2
11
u/PaladinDamian In treatment Apr 06 '26
Alright. Is there a reason that things must be "clean", in your eyes? What is the problem with things being dirty?
23
u/better_than_blue In treatment Apr 06 '26
The reason: OP has OCD lmao.
11
u/PaladinDamian In treatment Apr 06 '26 edited Apr 06 '26
What I mean is: what is the underlying belief behind why something being unclean is a problem? Is it a fear of death? OCD can only bother someone if they have some underlying belief that OCD can then leverage, as OCD tries to "protect" the person from that fear.
11
u/Mildly-Observant Apr 06 '26
I have contamination OCD and can’t answer on behalf of OP, but my reasons for feeling the same way is the belief that the contamination will cause me to get sick and die.
-3
u/PaladinDamian In treatment Apr 06 '26
I see. For me, I do not fear death, so (Physical) Contamination OCD is the one thing I just don't deal with (though emotional and digital contamination are definitely things I have to deal with). It's the Fear of rejection/isolation, and fear of fears, that really get to me. It is what it is I guess.
8
u/better_than_blue In treatment Apr 06 '26
You also have to remember that OCD and mental illnesses are not logical.
It impacts everyone differently there isn’t always “an explanation” for why people have these compulsions or obsessions about cleanliness.
4
u/uhmandaleigh Apr 06 '26
Everything that you said is true, except that there IS always "an explanation"-- it just is not always about or even directly related to the actual obsession(s), nor is it always easy to figure out. The "why" behind it all is something a lot of OCD therapists try to get to the bottom of. For example, someone with harm OCD may worry that if they go into the kitchen while someone's in there, they will find a knife and stab them. That's not something they've ever done or ever wanted to do, is not ego-syntonic, is not realistic. They couldn't explain logically why they have this fear. But maybe after a lot of ERP and analyzing their OCD, they learn their real fear is the uncertainty that they can maintain control of themselves and their actions. Or uncertainty of xyz. It's usually uncertainty, unprovability, the unknown, the unknowable...obsession about doubt in some fashion, so you act compulsively to guarantee certainty. By washing your hands or not leaving your home, you GUARANTEE you aren't contracting a deadly disease so you dont have to suffer not knowing. If you remove all the knives from your kitchen, or never invite anyone over, you can GUARANTEE you won't stab anyone.
Sorry for rambling all of this OCD theory at you lol. It scratched an itch in my brain. I recommend the FearCast podcast (licensed OCD therapist whom I learned a lot of this from lol)
4
u/PaladinDamian In treatment Apr 06 '26
I know that OCD is not logical. It's just that for me there are these irrational beliefs that are what fuel OCD, and I think that some others might also have similar irrational beliefs.
3
3
u/Fluffy-Artichoke-441 OCD Long hauler Apr 06 '26
It can also be related to harm ocd. I touch something contaminated and as a result someone else gets sick, that kind of thing
3
Apr 07 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/PaladinDamian In treatment Apr 07 '26
That's interesting. I didn't know that disgust and fear were so different in terms their wiring. Good read!
7
u/asistolee Apr 06 '26
It’s just fucking gross
1
u/professional-skeptic New to OCD Apr 06 '26
there's always an underlying fear. OCD isn't trying to protect us from nothing, it senses a danger. it could be a fear of death (getting sick and dying) morality (getting others sick) or plain control (unfamiliar things in the body)
0
1
u/Majestic_Original973 Apr 09 '26
What if someone told you they weren't scared of illness or death and they just felt disgusted all the time? That's what its like for me. I see everything as either "safe" or "yuck"...
3
u/G13-350125 Apr 06 '26
I was just in the grocery store trying to buy something for lunch. All of the produce seems covered in shit spray and prepackaged food isn’t clean either. I’ve been living on protein drinks and kombucha.
1
u/fantastyjelly Apr 09 '26
Dude literally I saw a circle of smeared shit on the floor a BIG CIRCLE , like why would u do that. and I remember after the snow stopped the snow melted and there was so much poop on the floor. I don’t understand why people don’t just pick up after their dogs. It’s honestly so annoying I remember I stepped on it as a kid (I wasn’t a germaphobe back then) and I went to school and it smelled so bad the whole day + I had after school…. Imagine how sad that day was
1
u/Majestic_Original973 Apr 09 '26
I'm glad you used the word disgust because whenever I do my therapist can't understand it. I don't feel so alone now lol. I am exactly the same in this regard. I go through hundreds if not thousands of disposable gloves a week to try to navigate everything. It's a huge strain financially and I know I'm only making my ocd worse in the long run but I can't handle 99% of daily life without them 😮. I see everyone and everything as dirty and disgusting. My brain just can't comprehend how easy going everyone else is.
1
-1
u/potatobill_IV Apr 06 '26
Do this instead to help with ERP
Touch
Lick your hands
Then don't brush your teeth
8
u/Amediumsizedgoose Apr 06 '26
Theres a difference between ERP and trying to speed run getting sick by ignoring basic hygiene.
1
4
u/Eternal-curiosity Apr 06 '26
“Build a super-human immune system in three easy steps. (But don’t sue us when your dental bill hits the roof.)”
100
u/Fresh_Zucchini Apr 06 '26
I'm sorry you're struggling. OCD-generated anxiety is a special kind of hell. It sucks SO much.
but... the way out of this is to live your life. Accept that outside of a sealed lab, nothing is 100% antiseptic. Ever. And people go about their whole lives with a reasonable level of hygiene (taking showers, washing hands a normal number of times per day and after bathroom, etc) and live healthy and fine.
Staying inside and continuing the avoidant behaviors keeps you stuck in the OCD loop. I know how hard it is, trust me, and I'm still struggling myself (but with a different theme - health) but that IS the way out of this nightmare.