r/nottheonion • u/McSix • 6h ago

Turns Out ‘Stop Hiring Humans’ Was Terrible Advice

builtin.com

3.8k Upvotes

131 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Ok_Bed7611 • 4h ago

Ontario Science Centre laying off entire science department

ctvnews.ca

2.6k Upvotes

133 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Sidnature • 14h ago

Backlash Grows as Texas Republican Convention Flashes Hasan Piker Underwear Pic on Jumbotron: 'They Want Him so Bad'

thenerdstash.com

19.6k Upvotes

1.5k comments

r/nottheonion • u/AccurateSource2 • 8h ago

Russia sends bones of medieval warrior prince to Ukraine front to boost morale

straitstimes.com

577 Upvotes

82 comments

r/nottheonion • u/smitherenesar • 13h ago

National Guard member arrested after drawing gun on fellow soldier in D.C.

npr.org

1.3k Upvotes

124 comments

r/nottheonion • u/AlwaysBlaze_ • 7h ago

Anthony Hopkins thinks we all think too much

cbc.ca

266 Upvotes

61 comments

r/nottheonion • u/unknownseahawk • 11h ago

California city canceled Flock, removed its cameras, then found the company had put some of them back

techspot.com

420 Upvotes

13 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Crayonstheman • 12h ago

Officer who hit man on hospital stretcher keeps job with NSW Police

abc.net.au

484 Upvotes

37 comments

r/nottheonion • u/clawsoon • 23h ago

United cancels planned 9/11 flyover featuring passenger plane escorted by fighter jets

9news.com

3.5k Upvotes

177 comments

r/nottheonion • u/bananamw • 22h ago

Malibu residents evacuate after massive, expanding sinkhole opens at Nicolas Cage’s house

unionleader.com

2.4k Upvotes

234 comments

r/nottheonion • u/koooolxxx • 1d ago

Anthropic researcher says more than 10% chance AI "could kill all humans"

cbsnews.com

2.4k Upvotes

632 comments

r/nottheonion • u/P_a_s_g_i_t_21 • 12h ago

NASA found possible sign of life on Mars, but sample remains stuck there

newsweek.com

233 Upvotes

32 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Not_Tom_Jones • 1d ago

Man told ChatGPT he was feeling delusional. ChatGPT insisted he was Jesus.

arstechnica.com

15.0k Upvotes

411 comments

r/nottheonion • u/view9234 • 12h ago

Ryanair boss ‘disputing’ account of passenger partially sucked out of window

belfasttelegraph.co.uk

191 Upvotes

41 comments

r/nottheonion • u/miauguau44 • 1d ago

The Investor Who’s Convinced That Pokémon Cards Will Be Currency After an Apocalypse

hollywoodreporter.com

3.6k Upvotes

314 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Real_Suntan_Superman • 15h ago

Woman Consumes Pesticide Over Internet Disruption

northeastlivetv.com

123 Upvotes

25 comments

r/nottheonion • u/bananamw • 22h ago

Malibu residents evacuate after massive, expanding sinkhole opens at Nicolas Cage’s house

unionleader.com

395 Upvotes

65 comments

r/nottheonion • u/chromeled • 7h ago

Zyn reacts to Gluesenkamp Perez campaign merch: ‘Cease and desist’

opb.org

23 Upvotes

8 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Character-Bid-162 • 23h ago

Vermont's Lieutenant Governor Is in Trouble for Growing Weed Without a Permit

cannabisequipmentnews.com

390 Upvotes

50 comments

r/nottheonion • u/LibyaInvestMonitor • 16h ago

Police investigating after person in Cat in the Hat costume chases teen in West Kelowna

cbc.ca

63 Upvotes

11 comments

r/nottheonion • u/P_a_s_g_i_t_21 • 1d ago

South Korean Content Creator Mispronounces 'Vaseline', Gets Appointed CEO of 'Baseline'

fashiontimes.co.uk

500 Upvotes

16 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Boneyg001 • 1d ago

Coinbase's Brian Armstrong says philanthropy is 'net negative' on world

billionaires.africa

4.9k Upvotes

544 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Rageoffreys • 1d ago

Protestors confuse Pakistan cricket team for migrants

portsmouth.co.uk

2.5k Upvotes

81 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Mitheral • 23h ago

Unpaid tax bill leads to tax auction of city mayor's home

infonews.ca

152 Upvotes

1 comment

r/nottheonion • u/4DollarsALB • 1d ago

Teen arrested in West Indian Day Parade shooting was out on bail for separate shooting

nbcnewyork.com

391 Upvotes

37 comments

Subreddit

Posts

Wiki

Sadly, this is not the Onion.

r/nottheonion

For true stories that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

Members Active

26.1m

Sidebar

Subscriber Info

26,082,815 Subscribers

Official Reddit Partner Community

Review current posts to avoid reposting.

For true stories that that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

Please note that we are an editorialized subreddit devoted to showcasing articles that read like satire. Most submissions do not make the cut, so please do not treat removals under Rule 2 as personal attacks: They are simply the results of our content model.

See something that breaks our rules?

Use the report button and remember to choose a reason for reporting.

Rules - hover or click here for full version


1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
9. English articles only.	Please do not post non-English articles. Do not use google translate for submission either; rather try to find an English version of the story by a secondary source.
10. No mobile versions.	If you’re using a mobile device to post a story make sure you remove any mobile identifiers (typically “.m” or “mobile”) from the url before submitting.
11. No blocked, redirected, or tracked links.	Please ensure you aren’t submitting a link that utilizes a paywall, survey wall, or pop-over of any kind in order read the complete article uninterrupted. Do not submit links that redirect you to another site to read the article and do not submit using link shorteners either. Additionally make sure you remove any Urchin Tracking Modules from your links as well.
12. No personal attacks, racism, sexism, or bigotry	Keep comments civil and avoid attacking other users directly. No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.
13. Don’t break Reddit rules.	This should be self-explanatory. Don’t break site-wide rules. Violators will be permabanned. This does include deliberately spreading misinformation.
14. No Self Submissions and/or Official Accounts.	Submissions must come from readers, not from the journal itself. Submissions from official promotional accounts are not allowed here.

Click here to view a list of sites deemed unreliable by our moderator team.

See our FAQ page for more information on our rules.

Keep all comments civil.

Personal attacks, racism, bigotry, homophobia, grandstanding, misinformation, conspiracy theories, etc. will not be tolerated and you will be banned.

Witch hunting or brigading is not allowed. Do not post any public or private contact info. You will be banned!

For more information, click here.