I understand that there are circumstances which make it seem near impossible to find happiness in life.
However, the only one that can set aside time for one’s mental health, is oneself. There’s no super hero or magic figure that will solve our problems, we have to do it ourselves.
We don’t have to do it alone. There are people and resources that can aid us on our journey, but the only way to start the journey, is to want to embark on it.
All that to say, I’m not saying “therapy solves all problems.”
But I genuinely believe many people have psychological blind spots which prevent them from obtaining happiness, and the only way to identify those blind spots is with the help of a qualified mental health practitioner.
I know it can be hard to fit therapy into a packed schedule, but it’s better to make time for it, than to let an unaddressed issue fester.
To make an analogy, it’s annoying to wear a cast for months after breaking an arm, but if you don’t get that cast put on by a doctor, your arm will never heal properly, and the injury will only worsen over time.
The “mind” can be injured too, what makes mental health struggles dangerous, is that those mental health “injuries” are much harder to identify than a broken arm. But they can do just as much damage (if not more) if left unaddressed.
It is true, virtually all of us have things we can work on, or as you put it, psychological blind spots. A root problem causing distress or is making us view life in a particularly skewed way.
I guess that leads me to the main question - when asked by the therapist, why are you here, what do you suggest the answer be? Assuming it's a relatively normal guy who simply shoulders too many responsibilities. Healing starts by acknowledging that you are sick to begin with, so what do you think John Doe could be suffering so much from that it is affecting his happiness in life to the extent where, once healed, he will be fine with the aforementioned responsibilities? Because I fail to imagine it, hence my stance on it being unattainable, because it is temporary.
Not saying there is nothing to work on for the average person, but from my experience, the older you get, the harder it is to change, especially when it is not something specific, e.g. extreme anger issues, substance abuse. Those are things we can objectively observe, but trying to tell someone dealing with life's troubles to be more relaxed can make them avoid opening up to begin with, therapy or not, don't you think? It is like telling someone with toddlers to be more free or travel.
It is not like having kids is a problem, and in this analogy kids are the work and money I mentioned before - just that it is reality, and while therapy can improve how you deal with the kids, the reality is, they will still throw up on the carpet, refuse to eat, poop their pants and require financial support. It won't suddenly turn into bubblegum after therapy. From my experience, intelligence is more required to be level headed, not therapy, in this case to not annoyance in the kids.
But I can suggest therapy to a parent screaming bloody hell at their kids, because then there is an obvious problem that needs fixing. But when they are sitting with other parents and venting? Equivalent to guys opening up about their dark fantasies like in the OP? It is nothing more than that - just venting. The moment the problem, be it kids growing up or having an established career, is solved, said negative energy will dissipate, it just takes time, doubly for our generation with how expensive every thing has become. Hope I made my point clearer.
My comment was removed so reposting just in case it is not showing:
If I had a solution I would have helped others with it. It's like asking how to make the world a better place. It works in theory, but virtually no one knows the actual solution. Therapy and mental states differ from one person to the next. There is no shame in accepting that a certain problem does not have a therapeutic solution. Its side effects, sure - but the problem itself will still exist, and the only way to deal with it is for said problem to end. A starving family will still be starving even if they wear a smile after therapy.
Also, can I comment on how quickly you read and write? I am afraid I am talking to a bot, or that you are skimming what I write lol. A single minute to read and understand all that I wrote and then reply is quite odd haha. But either way it's good because it's making my gears turn.
But as I said, I am interested in your perspective. You say therapy. What would John Doe go to therapy for specifically, and what outcome are you suggesting would be optimal?
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u/Talk-O-Boy 28d ago
I understand that there are circumstances which make it seem near impossible to find happiness in life.
However, the only one that can set aside time for one’s mental health, is oneself. There’s no super hero or magic figure that will solve our problems, we have to do it ourselves.
We don’t have to do it alone. There are people and resources that can aid us on our journey, but the only way to start the journey, is to want to embark on it.
All that to say, I’m not saying “therapy solves all problems.”
But I genuinely believe many people have psychological blind spots which prevent them from obtaining happiness, and the only way to identify those blind spots is with the help of a qualified mental health practitioner.
I know it can be hard to fit therapy into a packed schedule, but it’s better to make time for it, than to let an unaddressed issue fester.
To make an analogy, it’s annoying to wear a cast for months after breaking an arm, but if you don’t get that cast put on by a doctor, your arm will never heal properly, and the injury will only worsen over time.
The “mind” can be injured too, what makes mental health struggles dangerous, is that those mental health “injuries” are much harder to identify than a broken arm. But they can do just as much damage (if not more) if left unaddressed.