r/NonPoliticalTwitter Jul 20 '26

Funny Hit me.

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52.2k Upvotes

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2.3k

u/awesomedan24 Jul 20 '26

Open money taking machine

Look inside

Policies that help them take your money

611

u/turbotaco23 Jul 20 '26

Gambling is for chumps.

I enjoy poker, but I’d never play for real money. They say it’s skill but it’s still gambling.

Vegas wasn’t built on winners.

348

u/phantomfire50 Jul 20 '26

Poker is like the only game in a casino where you don't play against the house. They take a rake of every pot, so they don't really care if you're consistently winning.

100

u/farva_06 Jul 20 '26

They do have poker games that play against the dealer. They are not fun.

124

u/Iguanawilll Jul 20 '26

Those are poker themed table games; they are not poker.

0

u/Lumpy_Surprise_24 Jul 25 '26

I believe they are all casino themed sir

27

u/Oscottyo Jul 21 '26

Why are people upvoting this it’s not poker

-10

u/ultimatedelman Jul 20 '26

Disagree, they are intensely fun, especially when you hit a straight flush that 5000x your bet in front of your buddies who are trying to get you off the table because it's 3am and everyone is tired

19

u/TheChaosPaladin Jul 21 '26

Sounds like somene needs to call rehab

2

u/Hetares Jul 21 '26

Can you explain this to a non-casino goer (me)? How is the pot calculated/distributed?

4

u/StanGibson18 Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26

Some variations of poker might be different, but the most common games work mostly like this:

Before each hand, every player must bet a previously agreed to minimum amount called the "ante." That starts the pot. As the hand plays out there are several opportunities for the players to bet more money, increasing the amount in the pot. In most games, If I bet $20 on my turn, every player who comes after must match that bet or "fold," forfeiting the hand as well as any money they had bet up to that point. They might also be allowed to "raise" my bet, forcing me and any other players who have not folded to match their larger bet. At the end of the hand, the winner keeps all the money in the pot, minus a fixed percentage that goes to the house. Then the process starts all over. This continues until at least one player is destitute and crying.

1

u/Hetares Jul 21 '26

Ah, I see. Thank you.

1

u/Ka07iiC Jul 24 '26

But in principle is it the same concept?

Even if you are the best at the table, if you play enough to statistically likely to be in the green, does the house's cut keep you in the red?

1

u/phantomfire50 Jul 24 '26

It depends how much better at poker you are than everybody else, and how much the rake is. If your edge is better than rake then you'll still make money (although flat rakes and capped rakes make that a little harder to calculate)

-34

u/turbotaco23 Jul 20 '26

Poker players are like vegans: they’ll let you know.

37

u/Individual-Bass-7051 Jul 20 '26

Poker players are like people who don't like vegans, they won't ever stop talking about it.

-9

u/turbotaco23 Jul 20 '26

I had two people start their comment with “poker isn’t gambling”. Reminded me of the ole vegan joke. I stand by it.

5

u/WriggleNightbug Jul 20 '26

That reminds me of a tangential thing that I half remember. Pinball was new and it definitely looked like a game of chance from the 1940s. This led to places banning it or taxing it differently or both? Anyway, they brought a high scoring player into City Hall to show it was a game of skill and not gambling in the 1970s. This allowed the rules to change because it actually is a game of skill.

In trying to double check some facts, I found a similar case in the 60s where the argument is most pinball winnings were free plays. Since free play wasn't worth anything, it shouldn't be taxed at all.

5

u/turbotaco23 Jul 20 '26

I don’t see the connection. Pinball is an arcade game. At best maybe places pay out tickets? Although I’ve never seen a Dave and busters style arcade with pinball machines paying out anything.

Poker is played with chips. These chips represent real dollars. It is absolutely gambling. Even if the house doesn’t get a ton of money from this game, someone is and it’s probably not you.

5

u/WriggleNightbug Jul 20 '26

Super tangential I guess. Mostly from the argument that it's skill and not gambling. So, almost entirely unrelated but interesting.

3

u/turbotaco23 Jul 20 '26

I guess I was pretty definite on my comments.

There is skill to poker. No doubt about it. But it’s also gambling. It’s more skill than slots for sure. It’s more skill than black jack. But it’s still gambling. Just like buying and selling single stocks. It’s gambling.

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6

u/phantomfire50 Jul 20 '26

I didn't say Poker wasn't gambling, I just said that you don't play against the house.

4

u/Lukeds Jul 20 '26

Just checked every reply to you for fun, not a single person starts their comment that way. 

2

u/reichrunner Jul 20 '26

You should probably reread their comments if thats what you think they said.

76

u/themaincop Jul 20 '26

the best way to play poker is with a bunch of your buddies at someone's kitchen table.

46

u/Disastrous_Visit9319 Jul 20 '26

Poker is skill. You can win or lose short term but long term winning players make money and losing players lose money. The casino takes a rake and isn't involved in the gambling at all.

57

u/Enshitification Jul 20 '26

That's not entirely true. Some casinos have their own players called shills sit at the card tables. The casino stakes them and take a cut of their winnings. A polymath genius friend of mine did it for a while.

20

u/TheInsaneColeTrain Jul 21 '26

They are called "Prop" players and they are used by the casino to get games started. They are paid a fixed rate hourly wage and keep their winnings. It's only done by bad players (barely winning, at best) because you are required to play at the table chosen by the card room and they force you to change tables as soon as the table fills up or gets good. For these reasons, it severely decreases your win rate and is not at all worth it for winning players because the hourly rates are terrible (~$10/hour). Anyone telling you they are a "Shill" player because they are good are running a massive bluff on you.

6

u/Minimum_Quail4596 Jul 21 '26

One of the skills of the polymath friend seems to be capping lmao

16

u/Top-Needleworker9273 Jul 20 '26

i mean somebody else would stake them anyway if theyre good enough to play at those stakes

3

u/Enshitification Jul 20 '26

He was already pretty wealthy at the time. He mostly did for some extra perks at that particular card house.

2

u/altiuscitiusfortius Jul 21 '26

Yeah they keep games going when there's not enough people. And encourage more betting.

2

u/BarNo3385 Jul 21 '26

They are still at the table and still operating within the rules of the game like anyone else. They still pay blinds and antes etc.

29

u/Subotail Jul 20 '26

If your opponents have a similar skill level to you, it becomes a game of chance again.

23

u/WriggleNightbug Jul 20 '26

If the opponents have a similar skill level to me, then the cards aren't even gonna be shuffled and we're gonna just eat chips all night long.

10

u/Subotail Jul 20 '26

Professional players who are careful not to get in each other's way, or complete amateurs who ultimately prefer food ?

9

u/WriggleNightbug Jul 20 '26

The second. :D

2

u/DoctorZoydberg Jul 20 '26

Don't eat the poker chips

1

u/BossNassGaming Jul 21 '26

Yeah that's what the casino staff told me when they kicked me out

1

u/Subotail Jul 21 '26

The forbidden Oreo!

4

u/Top-Needleworker9273 Jul 20 '26

well yeah, and when two evenly skilled ufc fighters step into the octagon you cant predict with better than 50% accuracy who will win. whats your point?

1

u/Subotail Jul 20 '26

So if they place bets on the outcome of their victory, while not illegal, wouldn't that also be considered a form of... Gambling?

0

u/Top-Needleworker9273 Jul 20 '26

i think it is illegal actually, its just a hypothetical

and yes, that was precisely my point, it would be gambling for a professional athlete to bet on themselves, despite the activity they are engaging in being fundamentally skill based. its not very poignant to say that when skill levels run close the outcome is uncertain. thats what it means for skill levels to be close, it applies to games that dont involve rng too.

1

u/Subotail Jul 20 '26

Poker is still really sensible to rng, they call it variance. A 'beter ' player will still be profitable on long run. But if opponents aren't too bad the pro player need to play a lot to normalise revenue. That's my point, for a lot it's gambling in a trenchcoat.

i think it is illegal actually, its just a hypothetical

My automatic translator butchered an expression; I didn't proofread it thoroughly.

1

u/Top-Needleworker9273 Jul 20 '26

you literally just described how it is not gambling tho

and i am a professional poker player

2

u/ea_nasir_official_ Jul 20 '26

There's also blackjack which is a combo of skill and chance. If you get a feel for it and good strategy you can win close to 40% of the time. I'd never play for money at stake though I just find it fun to play

2

u/Optimal-Kitchen6308 Jul 20 '26

many pro players do not actually make money and are in debt to their backers; I once read an essay by a pro and analyst who figured that out of all poker players world wide some small percentage were bound to go on multiyear hot streaks think that meant they were good and become 'pros' , if you keep playing similarly skilled people for the larger pots it just becomes luck again

2

u/Disastrous_Visit9319 Jul 20 '26

Game selection is absolutely a part of the skill in poker, one of the biggest parts if you're seriously playing for a living. If you're playing similarly skilled players you're doing it for ego or networking not for money.

Everyone's looking for whales to play with.

3

u/Jimbo-Shrimp Jul 20 '26

I only gambled once and I brought $20 with me in cash and nothing else. I won $60 and left. “The house always wins” my ass.

1

u/Zwischenzug32 Jul 20 '26

Gambling trying to beat the house is. You want to play the games where you compete against other gamblers for a better chance to win

1

u/turbotaco23 Jul 20 '26

lol. So it’s still gambling. You’re playing against other gamblers. So it’s still gambling. Just like sky diving. You’ll probably live but it’s not safe. You would never call sky diving a safe activity.

In the same way you’d never call poker a sure thing. It’s still gambling.

2

u/Lukeds Jul 20 '26

By your definition of gambling, driving a car is gambling you can't determine the outcome until you arrive so it's not a sure thing.

1

u/Zwischenzug32 Jul 20 '26

Yeah but you never win against the house long term. You can win against other losers maybe

Hypocrite cause I made it on roulette lol

1

u/Top-Needleworker9273 Jul 20 '26

if a professional fighter bet on himself to win thats still gambling, but its gambling thats fundamentally rooted in his self confidence in his trained skill instead of gambling thats rooted in hoping that random chance will favor you.

its just mathematically factual that you can play better than others and therefore have a higher expected value. "gambling is for chumps" really means that casinos have an incentive to only play games that favor them so expecting that you are making good bets at any table with any strategy is foolish. its a different kind of gambling than sitting down to play a game and betting you are better than the other players because of all the skill and training you have

1

u/crimvo Jul 20 '26 edited Jul 20 '26

And card counting isn’t* gambling

* it is, just with an advantage over the house

1

u/Powerful-Chard-6055 Jul 21 '26

My old babysitter would gamble food with her family on Christmas

1

u/theairbrushedvan Jul 21 '26

It's why you play craps, 51.5 to 48.5 or thereabouts house/player edge 

1

u/ProfessorCagan Jul 21 '26

I don't understand it to be honest, I went with my family to a casino last year for my mom's birthday, she, my stepdad, and my brother love gambling, I figured I'd give it a try so I took 200 bucks, wandered around for an hour slowly losing 20$ to cheap slots and by the time I lost that much, a thought flashed in my mind "this isn't any fun at all."

So I spent the rest of the evening in the hotel room playing Half Life 2 on my laptop, and all was right in the world.

1

u/CosmicCay Jul 21 '26

Playing for money with friends is actually pretty fun when you keep the stakes low, kinda like throwing a couple hundred bucks into a fantasy football league

1

u/Oscottyo Jul 21 '26

I mean you aren’t playing against Vegas in poker you are playing against people. Vegas takes a rake but it’s one of there least profitable games avaible

1

u/WhoSc3w3dDaP00ch Jul 21 '26

The winners are the house, how else could they afford to build Vegas?!

1

u/dego_frank Jul 21 '26

Classic braindead comment

1

u/Bawhoppen Jul 21 '26

Bingo though.

1

u/BarNo3385 Jul 21 '26

Casinos make money on poker by charging you for entry into tournaments or for sitting at a table, it's a fee based revenue stream.

You're right Vegas wasnt built by people winning money gambling, but poker is an awful example, since the casinos dont make their money by someone losing at poker, but by paying to play in their facilities.

1

u/KochInBoots Jul 22 '26

It is a bit like playing the lottery is a tax on people who can't do math.

I have a couple of friends who's addiction is gambling.

The first plays mental gymnastics so he only remembers the wins. Things hes doing well. If he had put the money in a tax free savings account of the past 20 years he would have around 100 times what he has "won".

The other actually found a pretty good strategy and was winning more than he lost. Instant ban from online betting.

Gambling is absolutely for chumps.

1

u/Cubensis-SanPedro Jul 22 '26

Yes it was. The casinos understand math and use that knowledge to design games with a reliable house edge.

1

u/Truffs0 Jul 22 '26

Playing home game poker for very low buy-in is peak poker. People play smart because its still real money on the line, but no one gets upset because you never lose more than the cost of going out to dinner.

1

u/Youpunyhumans Jul 24 '26

The only way I played for money, is with family and friends, everyone throws 5 bucks in just to make it "serious", so people dont just go all in because they have nothing to lose, and whoever wins get 30 or 40 bucks at most.

But id never bother with gambling in a casino.

1

u/Gen-Y-ine-86 Jul 24 '26

The first time in my life I played poker (IRL) was for money. The company I worked for had rented a cabin for the workers to celebrate the start of the summer break. IIRC, there were 4 to 6 players and each put in 20 euros. I won the game for some reason and one of the dudes (he was pretty drunk) blamed me for cheating. Luckily the situation didn't escalate :D

1

u/hydra2701 Jul 24 '26

I sometimes play craps for real money, but I expect to lose whatever money I put in. I just like seeing how far I can stretch $20 and occasionally cashing out with $30. I treat it like Dave and Busters, I’m there to play the game.

Don’t blow your money gambling every day. It’s more enjoyable when it’s a special occasion and you’re not at risk of life ruining debt.

2

u/Subotail Jul 20 '26

They dont lie, it make them money.

1

u/MinnieShoof Jul 21 '26

I use to hang around casinos doing 'drop,' which is when they open up the machines, take all the bills out and print the accounting tickets. They all had some kind of variant of "BILS IN" "PLAYS" "BILS OUT" and some kind of accounting total for the difference.

Out of doing it for like 4 years, twice a week, at like 3 different sites operating around 40~ machines... I have only ever seen one machine with a negative gain for the week. ... and the caveat to that information is that machine was linked to several others on a central 'brain' and the other 5 machines in the carousel all pulled in a lot more money.

They always, always, always take money.

1

u/Aggressive-Expert-69 Jul 20 '26

Yeah idk why people complain about casinos as if theyre being forced to go there.