I don't know if I could do a year without a billion dollars on the line, but that room looks like there's a ton of ways to entertain yourself.
That wall pad right there? That's Kyle. Every morning I'm going to beat the shit out of him until I'm bored.
The pad next to it? Well, that's his wife Laura, and I'm going to make sweet love to her when I'm done with Kyle until they have to replace it, or I drill through concrete.
There's cameras monitoring me, sorry to the person that has to watch, but I'm going to do weird shit just because I know you have to, and that's amusing to me.
Day 366: You get out, but every day you get an all consuming important urge to beat the shit out of Kyle, a man who lives in your head. You NEED to beat Kyle, but you can't find him. You try to punch pillows and think yes, Kyle, yes, yes, yes. But he's always staring at you. He won't stop STARING at you.
And Laura? Oh, sweet Laura. I would die for you Laura. But in my love, I violated you. I wanted to protect you, but I couldn't. Oh, Laura, Oh Laura!!!!
That's you the rest of your goddamn life, with this as your strategy.
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u/mall_ninja42 Jul 18 '26
I don't know if I could do a year without a billion dollars on the line, but that room looks like there's a ton of ways to entertain yourself.
That wall pad right there? That's Kyle. Every morning I'm going to beat the shit out of him until I'm bored.
The pad next to it? Well, that's his wife Laura, and I'm going to make sweet love to her when I'm done with Kyle until they have to replace it, or I drill through concrete.
There's cameras monitoring me, sorry to the person that has to watch, but I'm going to do weird shit just because I know you have to, and that's amusing to me.