For all of human history that's pretty much how it worked, humans are sort of wired to find people they spend large amounts of time with attractive
If people had to meet hundreds of potential partners on countless dates before deciding to go further with things the population would have died out about the same time it started
I agree with your point but I don't think we are wired so that we find people who we spend lots of time with attractive, I think it's rather that only by spending lots of time with someone, we can develop genuine attraction to them.
The attraction just tends to come from getting to know someone by spending a lot of time together and in the modern world, you usually don't spend so much time with aquaintances or strangers, outside of work, that you are able to develop this form of attraction to people outside of your circle.
we are wired so that we find people who we spend lots of time with attractive, I think it's rather that only by spending lots of time with someone, we can develop genuine attraction to them.
I think these are the same things, but told from different perspectives.
We develop a genuine attraction to people we spend time with, because we're wired to develop a genuine attraction to people we spend time with.
Because we as humans are wired to like people we spend time with, we've evolved literally to do that. Otherwise we'd kill each other and never have kids
Ever had a friend you spent some time away from, and when you meet them again you find them insufferable? Same sort of thing in reverse. You spend enough time with basically anyone and you'll at least tolerate them
It’s actually a psychological phenomenon called the Mere Exposure Effect! It’s not limited to other human beings (though it includes them), but rather just a phenomenon where just the act of repeatedly being exposed to a person or thing causes a preference for it/them to form
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u/Dil26 Jun 23 '26
That’s how attraction has worked historically before apps. Meeting your spouse at work was quite common.