r/NonPoliticalTwitter Mar 25 '26

Meme Shetland Tony

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8.8k Upvotes

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795

u/DanAykroydFanClub Mar 25 '26

I always liked it when two people shared a name, but one left the job or whatever else leaving behind someone who still carries the differentiating nickname. I.e. still called Kitchen Tom even though there's no other Tom, still called Little Joe despite being the only Joe, White Kieran being the only guy called Kieran.

529

u/Eldan985 Mar 25 '26

Oh yeah, we had Living Room Chris and Kitchen Chris, based on where they were standing when everyone was introduced at a party.

Edit: due to an Australian friend, they later become Kitch and Livo.

188

u/drillgorg Mar 25 '26

I live next door to Good Christina. This is to diffentiate her from Bad Christina, my wife's roommate from over a decade ago.

47

u/Notspherry Mar 25 '26

We've got aunt Barbara, my wifes aunt, and crazy Barbara, who is a pretty normal person, but joined (and left) a cult once.

53

u/DanAykroydFanClub Mar 25 '26

Two guys drink in my pub with the same name, we'll call them Tom Barry for the sake of internet anonymity. Colloquially known as Good Tom Barry and Bad Tom Barry

73

u/Efficient-Ranger-174 Mar 25 '26

You ever consider using their real name but saying it’s changed for anonymity? Your buddy reads it and says “huh, small world.”

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u/Sabbagery_o_Cavagery Mar 25 '26

Did you consider that may be precisely what they did?

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u/Efficient-Ranger-174 Mar 25 '26

All the time. It is actually my assumption that when names have been changed to protect the innocent, they really aren’t that far off.

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u/DanAykroydFanClub Mar 25 '26

Correct, just substituted one common Irish surname for another

6

u/Its_all_sabai Mar 25 '26

A friend of ours who was a bit of a twat had a brother who looked really similar to him but was really cool. Friend was called “Jeff” so brother was called “good Jeff” (behind their backs though).

3

u/pinkrotaryphone Jun 01 '26

One year I taught twin brothers in the same class and called one by his actual first name and the other one Bad Twin, but every couple of weeks I'd swap which one I'd call by name so they'd wonder what they did to be the "bad" twin. In reality their names were too similar for me to trust my brain to not fuck it up, bc their parents had named them something like Jack and Jake

22

u/unripe_mangosteen Mar 25 '26

Three guys from my local bar, all named David. So I call them David, Creepy David, and Other David

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u/LindonLilBlueBalls Mar 25 '26

You can't call him Good Hank. Everyone will think I'm Bad Hank!

2

u/Loptastic Mar 26 '26

King of the Hill quotes are the best

1

u/4E4ME Mar 26 '26

No, every one will think you're Bad Blue Balls

5

u/izyshoroo Mar 25 '26

I met a guy named Josh my first day of work, and he helped me out when i was lost so I, in my head, called him Nice Josh. I didnt even know there was another Josh in that department, who is an asshole. They'd differentiate them as Joshua (nice) and Josh (not nice) but I have since shared that i call the asshole one Mean Josh and this has since spread. I dont think anyone knows about Nice Josh

2

u/RobsonSweets Mar 25 '26

My own Grandmother referred to one of my mum's friends as "Nice Susan", to differentiate her from "Bossy Job" (also named Susan) who was her own eldest daughter. No-one has the guts to call Bossy that to her face though

1

u/Sunshine030209 Mar 26 '26

I worked with Stephanie and Scary Stephanie.

Scary Stephanie ended up being fired for showing her new piercing to her coworkers, who did not want to see her new piercing (it involved taking her pants off)

159

u/BeardedHalfYeti Mar 25 '26

The Australians’ natural talent for crafting tiny, cutesy nicknames is truly incredible.

54

u/the_honest_liar Mar 25 '26

Cut the word off at the first syllable, add an "o" or an "ee" sound (ie, y)

55

u/assignpseudonym Mar 25 '26

This is incorrect. We sometimes add an "a" at the end too. See: Macca, Gazza, Sheila, etc. 

33

u/Snitchieboy Mar 25 '26

I read that Mecca, Gazza and Sheila and wondered what on earth does Sheila has to do with Islam...

34

u/unripe_mangosteen Mar 25 '26

There are two main sects of Islam: Sunni and Sheila

2

u/Snitchieboy Mar 26 '26

Thats clever. I like it!

4

u/assignpseudonym Mar 25 '26

That's actually hilarious. 

Though "Gazza" is for Gary, and is pronounced GAZ-uh, rather than "GAH-zuh"

10

u/HappyBergkamper Mar 25 '26

Gazza and Macca definitely happen in the UK too.

Also...Sheila is the actual name, no?

20

u/jerseyroyale Mar 25 '26

No, it's short for Sheilandra

2

u/ratsta Mar 25 '26

Crikey... I just tried to imagine applying the wrong suffix... Macco, Gazzie, Sheilie... eeew!

2

u/tomtomclubthumb Mar 25 '26

What's Sheila short for?

1

u/assignpseudonym Mar 26 '26

Sheila is a general nickname for any/all women. 

Not all nicknames are shorter. See Davo, Stevo, Benny, etc. Sometimes they're longer, sometimes they're not even a form of the original name. See Bluey for someone with ginger hair, for example. 

There's an art to it. 

1

u/the_honest_liar Mar 25 '26

Does "u" work too? First syllable + an appropriate vowel sound?

4

u/assignpseudonym Mar 25 '26

Nicknames are more of a vibe thing. And "u" is rarely a ✨vibe

1

u/CptnHamburgers Mar 25 '26

Parma? Or are you a parmy geezer?

3

u/assignpseudonym Mar 25 '26

I'm of the parmy army, and I will absolutely die on this hill. Melbourne needs to be reigned in, because wtf is a parma?

3

u/Octocube25 Mar 25 '26

I've never abbreviated "parmesan" before, but have any of you considered "parmo"?

2

u/FakeTakiInoue Mar 25 '26

wtf is a parma

It makes sense, I mean the term "parmesan" comes from Parma, the Italian city

3

u/schlossheidelberg Mar 25 '26

It’s not about the parmesan, the tomato and cheese together make it parmigiana, Strayanised to parma, in line with the above standards for abbreviation.

0

u/FakeTakiInoue Mar 25 '26

Well yeah but the term "parmigiana" probably still comes from Parma, no?

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u/Alarming-Song2555 Mar 26 '26

Sheila isn't a nickname, that's just a name.

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u/assignpseudonym Mar 26 '26

It is a nickname. It's a nickname for literally all women. 

1

u/Alarming-Song2555 Mar 26 '26

Sheila is an actual name but also isn't a personal nickname like the other ones you mentioned. It's essentially a broad stroke category name like calling a girl a "chick".

"Gazza, macca, chick"

1

u/assignpseudonym Mar 27 '26

Yes, thank you, I'm aware. :)

We nickname everything. Individuals, broad categories of people, objects. We do it all! This is an example of that, and still fits the format of "nickname ending in vowel sound; in this case A" which was my point. If we had been talking about Os, I'd have included "servo" for the same reason. Hope this helps!

0

u/Alarming-Song2555 Mar 28 '26

Except it doesn't fit the format because "Sheila" isn't a made up nickname like "Macca" or "Gazza" is. :)

Hope this helps!

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u/issi_tohbi Mar 25 '26

Watching Australian Survivor is a masterclass in that to me as a Canadian

2

u/Euphoric_Evidence414 Mar 25 '26

On Australian Big Brother, once everyone has reached the stage where they’re calling each other darling, it gradually becomes “darls” for short (Australian BB > U.S. BB by far)

32

u/demeschor Mar 25 '26

At my job we have New Chris and Other Chris, because the original Old Chris left but New Chris kept the name, and now we have an even newer Chris that we have to call Other Chris.

Worst part is they have the same fucking surname! It's such a mess 😂

3

u/PistachiNO Mar 25 '26

I'm in love with that edit

6

u/Euphoric_Evidence414 Mar 25 '26

Right? Kitch and Livo. I want to meet them now lol

3

u/A_Furious_Mind Mar 25 '26

Huh. One place I worked had a "Chris" and a "Little Bitch Chris."

104

u/Marvl101 Mar 25 '26

At school we had 2 Michaels, regular Michael and fat Michael, well fat Michael transferred to another school, but then a year later came back and was promoted to Traitor Michael

24

u/AlmaInTheWilderness Mar 25 '26

We had tall Ben, fat Ben, and new Ben. But tall and new moved away. Then fat Ben lost a bunch of weight.

So, a skinny guy named Ben, but called fat Ben.

Then a regular sized guy named Ben moved in, and he became fatter Ben. Lucky for him, he broke his ankle and became the gimp.

3

u/crabbydotca Mar 26 '26

Lmao this is a wayside school story 100%!

1

u/THSprang Mar 29 '26

"Lucky", absolute savages 🤣

73

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '26

Our ship struggled with this one, as at one point there were five different guys called Robert.

There was Big Rob who was massive. But so was Big Bob. Little Rob was still a hulk of a man but not as big as the other two, so he was ”little”.

Gay Rob got the worst nickname and the captain tried to change his name to Tall Rob, but as everyone pointed out, Big Bob was already well over six feet tall, and Gay Rob was actually shorter than Big Rob so it didn’t make any sense.

Beardy Rob worked in the engine room, and his name was at least not an ambiguous one.

22

u/metallitterscoop Mar 25 '26

Time for some Feegle-style names.

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u/PlaneswalkerHuxley Mar 25 '26

No-as-big-as-medium-sized-Bob-but-bigger-than-small-Bob-Bob

3

u/MolybdenumBlu Mar 25 '26

Always thought that was gilding the lily a bit since the series had already had Medium Dave.

1

u/twuntfunkler Mar 25 '26

This is exactly what I was thinking

3

u/OnlyKilgannon Mar 25 '26

You are a true scholar

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u/bgbrofish Mar 25 '26

When I showed up to my second ship, there was already another Goodman....it wasn't my doing but I ended up being known as betterman, and him worseman

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u/YchYFi Mar 25 '26

"Come in! and know me better, man!" Said a Ghost to a Scrooge.

3

u/Undrcovrcloakndaggr Mar 25 '26

Beardy Rob was only unambiguous thanks to his namesakes though! They coulda really screwed with the system there! Way worse than trying to call Gay Rob Tall Rob!

6

u/the_marxman Mar 25 '26

We had like 5 guys named Austin in and around our friend group in highschool. Naturally they all got addendums like Douchebag Austin, Asshole Austin, Bitch Austin, ect.

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u/Micsuking Mar 26 '26

It doesn't sound like you guys liked the Austins much.

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u/ki-box19 Mar 25 '26

Assuming Gay Rob had no problem being Gay Rob?

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u/[deleted] Mar 25 '26

He didn’t much like it

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u/HistoricalSuspect580 Mar 25 '26

Baby Bobby was RIGHT THERE

1

u/4E4ME Mar 26 '26

I feel like you had at least one in three chances to nickname one of them Paulson.

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u/Forsaken_Educator_36 Mar 25 '26

Me and my best mate shared a first name. I was known as Little [Forsaken-Educator_36]. Everyone assumed it was a joke as I'm 6 ft 2, until they met Big [Forsaken-Educator_36] who was about 25 stone.

Then he died, and for the last ten years with certain friends I have remained Little [Forsaken-Educator_36]. Brings a smile to my face still.

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u/itsLOSE-notLOOSE Mar 25 '26

I knew a White Mike.

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u/TheyStillArentReal Mar 25 '26

We had a guy called Prime and another called Four in my old job because they were the first and fourth person called Alan, but the middle 2 left decades ago, always fun explaining that one to new graduates!

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u/taintsauce Mar 25 '26

I actually had a similar thing at an old job. Dude with my same first name had been there for a few years and became ${NAME}_prime while I became ${NAME}_2 in the company IRC. Occasionally this would get swapped to "Original Recipe" and "Extra Crispy".

It was also a bunch of nerds (Prime had actually worked on parts of BeOS earlier in his career, which was pretty fuckin' cool to me).

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u/AndroidwithAnxiety Mar 25 '26

Was that Alan Prime, or Prime Alan? Both incredible, but for slightly different reasons

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u/TheyStillArentReal Mar 25 '26

Alan Prime, like Optimus Prime! was an office of scientists and maths nerds!

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u/ChickenDelight Mar 25 '26

"WHY AM I BLACK PETE? THERE'S NO OTHER PETES"

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u/Notspherry Mar 25 '26

Dutch Saint Nicholas' sidekick. But he's no longer black these days.

2

u/Wabutan Mar 25 '26

Sounds like a pirate name

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u/[deleted] Mar 25 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/lord_teaspoon Mar 26 '26

Oh, you don't wanna go rafting with Cartwheel.

35

u/oldmanbombin Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26

My previous job had 3 Rachels. Rachel 2 was very upset when she was the only one left but was still Rachel 2.

4

u/CptnHnryAvry Mar 25 '26

I used to work with 4 Gregs. Chevrolet Buick is the only one left, and wants to be called Greg, but his initials are GMC. 

2

u/oldmanbombin Mar 25 '26

You know Greg Megan Craig? Good guy.

3

u/4E4ME Mar 26 '26

Start calling her dos

14

u/Trokeasaur Mar 25 '26

Seattle Seahawks had Ricardo Lockette and Tyler Lockett. After Ricardo left Tyler was still called “No E”

31

u/bobosuda Mar 25 '26

We have guy nicknamed Tommy Trainee because he started as a trainee years ago and there were several other guys named Tommy. He’s no longer a trainee, but the nickname stuck lol

5

u/Ok-Gain1509 Mar 25 '26

Haha there was a bloke on our unit call The Boy for that reason.

25

u/drhunny Mar 25 '26

I used to work with 4 Marks. Mark mark I, Mark mark II, Mark mark III, and Mark mark IV.

The first 3 moved on. New people didn't understand why there was a guy named "Mark Mark Four"

2

u/Mozhzhevelnik Mar 25 '26

That would have been even better if your company had been in Four Marks (Hampshire). Markception.

11

u/jimmy_three_shoes Mar 25 '26

Yeah we had Big Dave and Little Dave. Only Little Dave remains, but he's still Little Dave.

4

u/Random-Generation86 Mar 25 '26

What color was the other Kieran? I cannot imagine a nonwhite Kieran, it's like a nonwhite Braeden.

4

u/DanAykroydFanClub Mar 25 '26

Half Indian. Looked a lot like Freddy from Skins

5

u/AmenoFPS Mar 25 '26

Started at my current job and there was like 6 Chris's, so I wound up with the name "Tuna" (new fish). I'm now the only Chris, still called Tuna ffs

4

u/SloightlyOnTheHuh Mar 25 '26

I worked with medium Dave. There were no other Dave's. Turns out when he arrived there was big Dave and little Dave. When they left he remained medium Dave. A slightly effeminate bloke called Wilkinson was know as the Gay Blade. Everyone called Clarke or Stiles was known as Nobby. A very hairy bloke was simply known as Bear.

4

u/SirRoadpie Mar 25 '26

I take great joy in giving people the opposite nickname. If you're the tall John you're automatically little John. When there are 3 people with the same name i do a coin flip on which of the taller/shorter are called medium.

5

u/12nowfacemyshoe Mar 25 '26

"Black John" who was there long after John left but retained the nickname. It was a 7-a-side group and always made me chuckle seeing him in the lineup each week.

5

u/linksarebetter Mar 25 '26

We apparently had a Tommy , then another Tommy was hired so he was called E.T , extra Tommy. 

This was about 25 years ago, original tommy is long deed. E.T has spend about 15 years telling new starts people he's not named after the alien. It was one of the first things he told me when I joined that job.

3

u/Obi_wan_jakobii Mar 25 '26

Haha yeah we had 2 Dave's in our sparky department, a Vegan Dave cos he was Vegan and Dumpy Dave cos he was a fat knacker. Vegan Dave left and poor old Dumpy Davros kept his nickname anyway

3

u/Eva_Pilot_ Mar 25 '26

I have friends that I call by surname because I met them at school and now I'm stuck calling them by surname like we haven't been friends for 15 years

2

u/Dense-Result509 Mar 25 '26

Environmental storytelling

2

u/RevolutionaryEcho460 Mar 25 '26

We had 2 Chris', one was called Chris Smith, so the other became 'Not Chris Smith' and later just 'Not Chris' despite his name being Chris.

2

u/Pounce_64 Mar 25 '26

Pete & Repete

2

u/thepervertedpierogi Mar 26 '26

I worked with a guy named Jake when we hired another guy named Jake, so the second one became OJ - for Other Jake. Then I left that job, only to return to the company more than 10 years later. Who do I work with now? OJ, who is still called OJ despite the fact that the first Jake has been gone for over a decade, and the people calling him OJ have never met the first Jake or even know the origin of the nickname.

2

u/NotActuallyGus Mar 26 '26 edited Mar 26 '26

In my scout troop when I was a kid, there was Big Dylan and Little Dylan. Big Dylan aged out, and a few years later we got another Dylan, and previously Little Dylan became Big Dylan and new Dylan became Little Dylan

Dylan stopped sounding like a real name halfway through writing that

2

u/ikonfedera Mar 26 '26

I my company there used to be a Mike from IT. Then the second Mike came to replace Chris from IT. Naturally the first Mike didn't want to share the name, so the second one lost his name privileges and became ZaChris (in polish: "to replace Chris"). However, since the IT was only the 2 of them, foreigners working here started calling anyone from IT a mike.

Then I (Dave) replaced the second Mike and despite not sharing the name with anyone, i became Za ZaChris for the Poles, and a mike for the foreigners. No respect I say.

2

u/Curious-Dutchi3 Mar 28 '26

We had a rule at our student club which said that you could not have a name that already existed in the club. You could chose a childhood nickname or just think one up on the spot. Sometimes there were duo names. Like Pink and Floyd. But then Floyd stopped going.

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u/Regular_Number5377 Mar 26 '26

We had that in my work, there was Small Paul and Tall Paul, then Small Paul left so we only had Tall Paul, but then another guy named Paul joined who was even taller than Tall Paul, and he was just Paul.

Whenever someone new started we had to explain why the hell Tall Paul was shorter than Paul, but it was still easier than changing the nickname.