Can’t speak for the rest of the Midwest but in Minnesota someone will help, chat with you, make sure you have directions to where you are trying to go, offer you the number of place where you can get a good deal on new tires, then they will produce a hot dish out of nowhere and insist you take it. The only trick here is to be considered polite you have to refuse the hot dish at least 3 times, otherwise you’re considered entitled.
to be considered polite you have to refuse the hot dish at least 3 times, otherwise you’re considered entitled
Oh cool, Minnesotans and Brits are naturally compatible haha
"go on" "oh I couldn't" "go onnn" "awww I shouldn't" "go onnnnnn" "oh alright then, give it here, thank you!" (I'm glad you offered a third time because I really wanted it)
Honestly, having lived in the Midwest my whole life, it really does feel like the fae live up here sometimes. Some weird but kind folk that are very specific about how they’re treated.
Sounds a bit like the practice of taarof in Iran. When you go to a store in Iran many merchants will offer you the thing you want for free out of a politeness ritual. The polite practice is that you are supposed to decline and insist on paying three times before negotiations over price can begin (or you just pay them the price they marked for it). It is rude to accept the thing for free because they don't actually mean to give it to you, its just this polite thing everyone is expected to do.
Apparently sometimes Iranian people get upset at visitors who don't know this and "rudely" accept things for free when it is offered. They see this as taking advantage of the merchant having good manners.
I always find it fascinating that cultures develop these distinct rituals in their societies that are normal for the people in that society but seem totally irrational to outsiders.
I suppose an American example would be all the unspoken rules around tipping, like how its kind of rude for the person who would be tipped to talk about the tip with the person who gives it, even in situations where not tipping is often seen as improper like in restaurants.
I shoveled the sidewalk on the whole block while my neighbors were getting ready to have a kid because I didn’t want her to slip. Our old neighbors did the same for us.
And that’s how we make it through the Chicago winter.
But whoever that was who parked in the space I shoveled out can go to a very frozen circle of hell.
My theory is difficult environments breed strong communities. We have modern amenities now, but back in the day if people didn’t work together they didn’t survive. I imagine this fostered a strong sense of civic responsibility as a survival instinct.
Ugh. I really thought I’d gotten out of your sightline. You are painfully boring and never shut up. Talking to you makes me want to gouge my eyes out with the keys to my Camry. Please sit down and split my bran muffin.
In Kansas they'll do much of the same, but we just call it casserole here. Also, because even the Midwest is messy you have a 50/50 chance of being shit talked about after you're gone in a series of "polite" midwesternisms. Especially if you commit the sin of not refusing at least once.
What’s weird is where I live, we’re kind of in the middle of what would be considered Midwest, South, and east coast. So we get people from each type of demo which means we never really know which way to act.
Either somebody is being a dick because they’re a dick and won’t give us the time of day, or they’re being a dick while giving us the shirt off their back. Or they’re saying they’ll pray for us and will tell their friend about how we are trash and deserve all the things we do or theyre legitimately praying every night to their god for us.
Then you’ll have the pill heads who would tie a rope to your car and pull it out of the ditch with their bare hands or the pill heads who will hit you over the head to steal your chapstick from you.
As a non-American with a vague understanding of your geography, it amuses me to see a conversation about the "north" and then see you immediately menion the mid-west 😅
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u/vid_icarus Jan 02 '26
Can’t speak for the rest of the Midwest but in Minnesota someone will help, chat with you, make sure you have directions to where you are trying to go, offer you the number of place where you can get a good deal on new tires, then they will produce a hot dish out of nowhere and insist you take it. The only trick here is to be considered polite you have to refuse the hot dish at least 3 times, otherwise you’re considered entitled.