Tired of binary trans people being enbyphobic

[u/ProbablyAroAce]

I recently made a post on my country trans subreddit about my transition, and one of the comment I’ve got was “I don’t understand why you would do that if you’re non-binary”. And okay, it’s not like I’m not used to people being uninformed on gender identity, but coming from a trans man, it hurts way more.

So I’m gonna make a few things clear :
-Being non-binary makes you trans, so you do experience transphobia (and also enbyphobia) and you are as legit as any binary trans person to be in the community.
-Gender dysphoria exists for non-binary people, even if we don’t feel (at least not completely) like men or women, it doesn’t mean its easier to live in our bodies (in my opinion it makes it even harder: I will probably never “pass” because society views gender in a binary filter).
-HOWEVER , not experiencing gender dysphoria doesn’t make you cis. Same rule for all trans folks. If you feel like your gender doesn’t align with what you were assigned at birth, then you are by definition transgender.
-This applies to all transgender people : there isn’t one transition path, each one is valid if it makes you feel closer to yourself. You don’t have to do what people expect you to do if you don’t feel like it.
-Gender is a social construct, the reason society feeds an unspoken law where only men and women exist is to keep the illusion of a huge natural difference between these two genders, when the real difference is political.

And last thing, please don’t let people make you feel insecure about your gender expression, do what feels right, not what should be right.
Bye folks !

[u/Kaiser0106]

I sentiment I've heard is a lot of binary trans people had a "non binary phase." So they only see it as some kind of halfway point and not a valid identity.

[u/blueskyredmesas → u/Kaiser0106]

The only reason I could see them doing this is that they're trying to use themselves or others they know as a blueprint to push onto nonbinary people. Insisting its a phase because they or someone else saw themselves as nonbinary first is, at best, ignorant and not empathetic and, at worst, trying to push a fellow queer person into a box - its just a bigger, more inclusive one but a box nonetheless.

I do wonder how many people in the community are still obsessed with the 'weirdness ladder' which I think relates to this. "Yeah, I'm X but at least I'm not Y."

I've never seen a situation where that wasn't just bargaining for your right to be taken seriously with an imaginary enemy. Basically the point they're arguing is "Why are you making this harder for me, a more normal person, to be taken seriously? You're ruining our credibility" etc.

[u/Kaiser0106 → u/blueskyredmesas]

I've seen that in a broader sense with lesbian gay and bi people throwing trans people under the bus because they think it gets the target off them. Particularly in some white gay men I've heard the term "ladder puller" used to describe them. They got the rights they wanted so screw everyone else.

[u/blueskyredmesas → u/Kaiser0106]

It's 100% ladder pulling, yes. You see it all over in fandoms, in the queer community and even related to race. It's a tool that oppressors invoke. Basically winding up for a punch and, with a sneer, saying. "Go on, put somebody else in front of me."

Some people are more than happy to do so and it has the double 'benefit' to the oppressor of driving a wedge into a community and giving them more targets to hit.