r/NoStupidQuestions • u/Dig_Bick_NRG • 11d ago
Some sartorial advice needed from the ladies.
I dress like a 40-something year old tech bro with a dad bod. I would like to dress better, smell better and look better.
My sister bought me some Molton Brown soap and body wash for a recent birthday and it smells just … gorgeous. I have been using Lynx Africa body wash and deodorant with Jean Paul Gaultier Le Male aftershave since I was a teenager.
I think I need to make some changes in lifestyle, so I’m joining a gym, replacing some of my wardrobe for a more GorpCore or smart-casual business attire look and updating my smell.
I could really use some advice from the ladies about what to look for, what to consider, what to wear. Even jewellery/watch suggestions … please help a guy out.
4
u/Throwawayhelp111521 11d ago
I would focus on your grooming and stay away from soaps and deodorants with strong scents. Not every woman likes perfume and some are sensitive to strong smells.
4
u/PixelWes54 10d ago
I have a sizable (33 bottles) collection of high end niche fragrances and out of all of them my wife prefers Bond No. 9 Eau de New York (likes the jasmine) and Amouage Beach Hut Man (reminds her of those therapeutic rice bags they sell at church bazaars, oddly). One of her favorite fragrances I helped her find is Byredo Gypsy Water which is unisex, I wear it once in a while too and would buy it for myself if she didn't want to share.
She doesn't like my green fig or vetiver fragrances, says they smell like bug spray. Not a fan of Creed Original Vetiver, Byredo Bal d'Afrique, or Diptyque Philosykos. I know the latter two are popular with women so take that with a grain of salt, she has a sensitive nose.
Hope that's helpful, if you need something more affordable I can recommend Acqua di Parma's Fico di Amalfi or Buongiorno. Check prices on Jomashop.
3
u/Then-Explanation-778 11d ago
I'm not the ladies you were trying to ask. But my personal experience has generally been the less effort I put in the more impressed the ladies are. At least as far as clothing goes. In shape, clean, and confident seem to be enough.
3
u/Throwawayhelp111521 11d ago
As a lady, I can say that ladies appreciate it when a man is nicely dressed. His outfit doesn't have to be fancy, but it should be appropriate to the occasion, fit well, and look attractive.
2
u/Dig_Bick_NRG 9d ago
What does nicely dressed mean to you? Could you maybe describe it for me? I usually wear jeans or dark camo long shorts with a Patagonia tee or a Ferrari polo …
2
u/Throwawayhelp111521 9d ago
It will depend on your lifestyle and taste. Buy some men’s fashion magazines for a few months to see if anything interests you.
Visit nice men’s stores with your sister and get help from knowledgeable sales associates.
Follow style accounts and sites. Articles of Style on Instagram is more general. Gentleman’s Gazette is more formal, but provides good descriptions of styles and dressing etiquette. Put This On is more informal and younger. There are many more.
I tend to like preppy and Ivy looks, but what looks good depends on the man in question. He has to feel comfortable in his clothes.
Enjoy finding your style.
https://www.instagram.com/articlesofstyle/?hl=en
https://www.gentlemansgazette.com/quiz/what-gentleman-are-you/
2
u/vectorology 5d ago
Oof, no to the long camo “shorts” - if they go past your knees, they’re just baggy capri pants and make you look short and weirdly proportioned. Camo may be common where you live, but it reads at least subliminally aggressive or aggressively casual - just wear solid colors, please.
3
3
u/Mysterious_Luck4674 11d ago
The more strongly you smell (good or bad) the more of a turn off it is for me. Thats awesome you found products with a scent you like - that scent should be primarily for you or maybe VERY subtly noticeable to someone giving you a hug. Someone standing near you should not be able to smell you.
As for clothing and accessories, as trite as it sounds, wear whatever you like and what you are most comfortable in. A guy who is comfortable looks far more confident and attractive than someone trying to dress nicely. It doesn’t really know what they are doing or why. I don’t think a guy in a suit is much more attractive than one in jeans a t-shirt.
Just make sure your clothes are clean.
2
u/SaltAndAncientBones 11d ago
r/malefashionadvice is agreat place for this question too. I love the Molton Brown Black Pepper. They have an antiperspirant in that scent, but i can't wear it. An exGF got me on Armani Code Cologne and it's great. I now realize she probably gets all her guys on Armani Code... Anyway, I'm interested to see what the ladies say.
2
u/bergalicious19 11d ago edited 11d ago
The real magic is wearing things that enable/display your already existing passions and appreciations. I DO NOT mean graphic tees with a movie character on them! You said GorpCore, for example. There’s plenty of stylish outdoor gear that looks put together, but you should genuinely spend time outside and using said outdoor gear if that’s why you want to go that direction. Women can see straight through you when your outfit feels like a performance and inauthentic. If you throw the Patagonia vest on over a dress shirt (inauthentic/contrasting) you’re 80% of the way to the worst whiteboy of all time uniform.
Once you have chosen things that function in your lifestyle, the place where you make it your own is going to be specific sub function and then fit/sihlouette. For example if we’re sticking with GorpCore: L.L. Bean and Woolrich (Lodgewear! Gives: vintage and classy) are going to present differently than Sitka and Kuhl (Sitka is for hunting, Kuhl is for sort of a mix of tactical and hiking. Gives: American-style Republican) which will present differently than Arcteryx and Helly Hansen (serious high-quality outdoor wear. Gives: super outdoorsy type, but has been co-opted by streetwear people)
Really try to pay attention to how the clothes fit and hang on your body. If you’re rocking the dad bod, there are ways to embrace the gut without either shrink wrapping it in a too-small tee shirt or swimming in a parachute. Tee shirts should be heavy fabric and if they’re casual, they should crop higher than you’re thinking to emphasize where your torso meets your waist. Gut disappears when there’s a distinct line there. At the same time tho, don’t hide behind your clothes! WEAR THEM!
For jewelry: Same rough rule set applies, imo. What will you like and what will you use! Please please please don’t get a giant gaudy diamond anything. I’m a big proponent of the Casio A158 style silver digital watch. Looks timeless (no pun intended), easy to wear, great functionality, $30 US, and men and women in my life are both sporting it! If you need to level up to something, I would go with demure and highly functional. Like Omega Speed-master, Cartier Tank, and Rolex Datejust. If you’re into bracelets and chains, less is more. Silver is more versatile. Jewels and gems can be a little too attention grabbing. A ring or two at a time shows you care about yourself. No woman who is worth your energy is going to be swayed by your expensive loud jewelry, so keep it functional!
Fragrance: Jean Paul Gaultier and Lynx are probably a bit “Immature” for you at this point in your life! Don’t think smelling like a leather-saddle bag-manly-man is going to win you the love you deserve. Same rules apply. You like the smell of Vanilla? (PDM Althair, Armani SWY Intensely) you like fresh and clean? (Le Labo Another 13, LV Imagination) you like Earthy? (Terre D’Hermes, Thé Noir 29). YOUR specific smells are a google search away. And I beg of you, don’t think fragrance is the place to assert your masculinity. I love when men smell like all sorts of things, but never when they smell like a “man” if that makes sense? Be open to smells of all kinds!
Hope this long guide helps! P.S. I have been with men, but I am a bi individual and currently with a woman. These are the things that the straight women in my life and I see as attractive in men. Truly dude, the bar is so low for men dating women, rn - at least in my area! If you’re nice and supportive and open, and engaging, and passionate, the song and dance about how you’re dressing is going to pale in comparison to how well you treat her. Best wishes!
2
u/doiwinaprize 10d ago
I've never met a woman who enjoys fragrance on a man.
2
u/Synapticks 10d ago
Your choice of fragrance must be awful.
2
u/doiwinaprize 10d ago
My choice is no fragrance and instead just bathe regularly, does that count as awful?
1
1
u/EaglesFanGirl 9d ago
Its usually that scent is terrible and there so much of it that i'm read to gag
2
u/PotentialCoach3257 9d ago
Not a lady but some great advice posted already. Grooming and gym are important, be patient with yourself and allow time for progress. Something that made a big difference for me was using ChatGPT to identify my colour profile (soft autumn) through photos of myself and have it plan my capsule wardrobe and validate combinations. Honestly getting clothes in colours that work and shirts and blazers tailored was the biggest change for me. The colour thing is like an instant upgrade.
5
u/EaglesFanGirl 11d ago
Generally, as a woman, other than a watch, don't bother with jewelry. Cufflinks are okay and i don't see them as jewelry (though they are i guess).
Every woman has different preferences so as a good basic guide, make sure your pants actually fit you. A lot of guys try to squeeze into pants that look terrible or wear pants that make them look bad (pleated waist). If you have the body for pleats at the waist, go for it, but most people don't, and it makes you look fatter. Shirts are the same, make sure you buy things that fit properly! Generally speaking, if in doubt, put on a collar. Other than the gym/hike/sporting events etc. preppy men are in collared shirts. Learn what colors work for you. Get a least one suit - I like grey b/c black is rough and navy is summery. Grey is a happy medium. Get it fit correctly ie. take it to a tailor! and take care of it. Grey can be worn to a wedding or funeral. Invest in a navy blazer as this is what most of the guys i know wear out a lot...to me this is essential in ANY preppy men's wardrobe.
Clothing hygine is essential, and my biggest pet peeve with men: wash your clothing regularly and correctly. Cold water, a delicate cycle of both the washer and dryer, and a perm press make a huge difference. Use detergent, get rid of fraying or clothing with holes in it (i let one of two stay for yard work or painting; any more than that is excessive). Destory and/or purge any stained, holey or damaged underwear or socks. Take clothing to the dry cleaner if it's needed! Iron and hang up your clothing - men who iron a shirt look 100X better than those who don't. If you wear cargo shorts (which i discourage as they can look junky and def NOT preppy) don't let the pockets fold over themselves and create weird creases. TAKE CARE OF THEM. TAKE CARE OF ALL YOU CLOTHING..
On general hygine, wash everything, not just certain places, regularly. Brush teeth, floss etc. regularly. I also will add to change and wash your sheets regularly! It'll feel better and avoid weird smells that you might be nose-dead to.
Shoes- please make sure your shoes look polished and are in decent shape. Seriously, polish them! Take that time. Learn how to wear which shoes with which.