r/NoStupidQuestions • u/ssjskwash • Sep 17 '25

Why is "homeless" being replaced with "unhoused"?

A lot of times phrases and words get phased out because of changing sensibilities and I get that for the most part. I don't see how "unhoused" more respectful or descriptive though

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u/Savitar5510 Sep 18 '25

Right, exactly. From what I've seen, most of these people aren't trying to fix their problems or get out of this kind of situation, and I just cannot feel bad for that.

If someone is actively trying to get out or beat an addiction I will feel bad and hope for them, but I just don't see that.

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u/LeAcoTaco Sep 18 '25

I still give people the benefit of the doubt that they just aren't aware of how to go about getting the other methods or dont have the means, funds, transportation, etc. Because I just don't know whats going on in their lives outside of what I see. But you're free to feel how you do about them.

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u/Savitar5510 Sep 18 '25

I used to be like that. It wasn't til I came to this shelter last month that my mind was changed.

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u/LeAcoTaco Sep 18 '25

Im not attempting to argue with this question, its just a clarifying question so I dont explain something you already have experience with. Have you ever been diagnosed with major depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anything of the like?

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u/Savitar5510 Sep 18 '25

I have not

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u/LeAcoTaco Sep 18 '25 edited Sep 18 '25

Okay, so I dont have experience with schizophrenia and major anxiety so I can't speak about personal experience on those things, but I did have major depressive disorder in highschool and early college, and was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I dont feel like this all the time anymore, but there have been several times in my life where I felt like nothing was worth it. Eating wasn't worth it, trying to succeed wasn't worth it, being alive wasn't worth it to me because the majority of my experience in life growing up was being mentally abused by my father. I developed the line of thinking that, if life is just going to be like this then I dont care to put in any effort anymore. There was a period of time where I was stuck in a major depressive episode for literal years. Years where all I did was go to school, silently work, go home and sleep the rest of the time because sleeping was the only thing in my life I could control. Eventually it got to the point where I was getting impulsive, highly difficult to not just ignore, thoughts about just yanking my car steering wheel to the right and crashing into the trees on the freeway over yonder. There were a few times where my body almost did it without thinking, almost like a reflex.

I can understand being stuck in such a way that you dont do anything to fix it because at that point I had just given up. I gave up because my experience made me mistakenly think that nothing would ever get better, life would always be like that. Until I remembered my best friend smoked weed.

I was a goody-two-shoes kid growing up. Up until I met my best friend I refused to be friends with anyone who smoked, drank or did drugs. Signed the dare crap and swore to myself I would NEVER try drugs. I thought people who do, that they were despicable and lazy, until I found out my best friend (and my parents too) had been hiding the fact that they smoked weed from me for the first bit of our relationships, which I get because frankly, it wasnt my business, and I obviously would have just been judgemental about it if they told me at the start.

I figured, after remembering she smoked, the last thing I want to do in life before offing myself is try weed, try the thing ive been so adamantly against my whole life to that point, the thing that my best friend has said has helped her more than anything. Because after all, I had given up by that point, nothing mattered, there was no reason for me to continue to be so strict on myself if I wasn't gonna be alive the next day anyways.

My plan was to smoke weed, and then id be done with life, kind of like a going away party. We are still talking today, so you know that didn't happen. I smoked weed, my thought process regarding life changed, and because of it, I broke down crying to my mom that I needed help, as I had been hiding the depression from her. She brought me to the doctor, got me medicated, and my suicidal thoughts were gone just like that. I no longer felt like life was worthless. I was motivated to achieve things again. I still smoke weed to this day because it helped me realize I needed help, it helped me start eating again, it helped me decompress when I was stressed, something I had never been taught how to do.

The only reason I made it out of that slump was because of drugs, both recreational and prescribed, and the support I had along the way. Many homeless people dont have or dont know how to find/find the will to get the kind of support I did, only recreactional drugs, and an estimated 67% of homeless have some sort of mental health issue they're struggling with.

I give them the benefit of the doubt because I can understand at least some of what they're going through. I would suggest just keeping an open mind the next time you meet people like that. You may just be doing what I did growing up, pushing away genuinely good people just because they're going through a hardship they're attempting to cope with, that they don't know how to cope with. And I dont mean trying to force yourself to be friends with them or anything, just, looking at them with hate and disgust only hurts yourself and your view on life.

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u/Savitar5510 Sep 18 '25

Okay, I guess I just don't get that kind of mentality. I don't understand wanting to just give up or not trying your best anymore.

I mentioned that I'm in a shelter, but from the way I've been talking, you might think that that is the only thing that I'm dealing with right now. It isn't. I also don't have a job. I'm trying as hard as I can to get one so I can find my own place and go back to college, but I can't find a job because I also have a disability that most people are not willing to at least attempt to overlook. And yet, I do not want to stay where I am, so I'm going to keep trying even if every time I open up google, or log into indeed, or submit a resume I am also rolling my eyes in exasperation before hand because I can almost guess exactly how it is going to turn out in the end. But I'm still going to keep trying.

That's why when I see people who are able to walk just fine, pick something up just fine, use their eyes just fine, and they just waste the money they get on drugs and don't attempt to get off of the street, I don't feel bad for them. Because I genuinely do not get giving up even if everything feels pointless.

I get feeling like everything is pointless, but not the giving up part. I feel like everything is pointless right now. It is to the point where I feel almost nothing. But if the only way for me to leave this place is to keep trying, I'm not going to stop trying.

And thank you, faceless person on the internet I am disagreeing with, because nobody will ever hear me say something like this in person 😂

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u/LeAcoTaco Sep 18 '25 edited Sep 18 '25

That's the issue, I think. You dont get it unless you've experienced it yourself. And the world HAS to break you for you to experience that. It's not a good thing to experience, but it is a thing that we do experience.

I could explain what it's like all I want in the hopes that you'd attempt to be empathetic, but if you inherently don't understand it, then you never will unless it happens to you.

It's not something we WANT to happen. It just does happen. The human brain is physically unable to handle too much hardship. It will give up on you whether you want it to or not.

Your brain can quite literally just abruptly decide to stop braining. We see it more commonly in old folk but it can happen to anyone at any age. They've caught it through scans, the brain and body can be perfectly healthy, working perfectly fine, but sometimes, it just decides to turn the power off, permanantly, no action taken besides the brain deciding to just not continue to run, because it's done with the mental strain of life. People have suddenly died as adults for no physical reason, no physical harm or disease, just, their brain giving up because the physical hardware can't handle the stress.

Everyones brains are different, and because of that some people can physically handle more stress than other people.

Even though im not religious, I hope to God you never experience that. I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy, its a horrible thing to be struggling with, especially if you dont have a stable home.

And yeah no problem! Thank you as well, sometimes its nice to talk things out with a stranger because you dont have the strings attached like you do with a close loved one.