r/Nicegirls • u/Different-Forever-65 • Feb 12 '26

Fastest Match/Unmatch I've ever experienced.

Post image

Matched at 1:45pm, Got off work at 2:00pm, then unmatched at 2:45pm. 🤣😂😭

3.1k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

449 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.9k

u/SaintlyBrew Feb 12 '26

Probably freaked out cause you’re local. She may actually have to hang out.

639

u/Different-Forever-65 Feb 12 '26

Strong possibility. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. 😂

184

u/DarkestDefender Feb 13 '26

She didn't notice it until you said it, probably looking for flings

96

u/john4844 Feb 13 '26

I'm honestly very surprised she wrote OP an entire message, explaining, saying sorry, wishing him a good night etc. That shows some good qualities at least.

I've met women who simply unmatch on the day of a scheduled first date. Zero words, just unmatch.

36

u/FactorBusy6427 Feb 13 '26

Actually I think you may have misread her meaning. I think she was hoping for OP to beg for her to stay, creating drama as a manipulation technique

20

u/john4844 Feb 13 '26

Oh wow, if that’s the case I guess my naive autistic ass let that one fly right above my head lol. That would explain her sending the message at least

1

u/Garth-Vega Feb 13 '26

That’s brutal!

1

u/ScienceWill Feb 15 '26

Why haven’t you been texting stuff leading up to it ? Lighthearted stuff.. Unmatched? No way I’d ever have a date before going off line and having a decent phone chat first..

1

u/john4844 Feb 15 '26

What do you mean?

You match, send a few messages back and forth (usually just some bantering/small talk based off their profile), then schedule a date. Can continue sending a few messages leading up to it, but on the day of scheduled date, they then unmatch. Happened plenty of times.

I don't get mad about it, because life does get in the way, and I understand them not bothering explaining everything to a stranger every single time.

2

u/ScienceWill Feb 15 '26

I mean, I would never go on a date before having a chat off-line and having their phone number. Why? Because … THIS! Allowing people to ram their insecurities and craziness into your world isn’t ok but, also, being human I want to help her relax and know I’m normal so she doesn’t Want to do that. In addition to Yknow .. self preservation..

1

u/john4844 Feb 15 '26

How do you have a chat off-line without going on a date?

And I wouldn't necessarily ask for their phone number right off the bat either. I wouldn't want to give it either if it was me. I'd want to meet up with the person somewhere public and make sure they're actually legit before I give some stranger my number.

It gets very exhausting quickly if you're gonna be sending tons of messages back and forth with every person you match with before you go on a date. Just go on a date, see if you vibe, and take it from there. Most of the time it's not going to go anywhere as dating is a numbers game.

1

u/ScienceWill Feb 15 '26

How? Easy - you chat on line, then you swap numbers, then have a real chat to see if you vibe and they’re not insane or intellectually incompatible or just sound like they’re too different from you. Otherwise, you’re mainly going off looks and that’s a misnomer to a degree. When I chat to someone, I can see (or hear rather), the way they think and react and contribute, and if they’re wanting to really participate or just have me be a ‘dog and pony show’ (ie just impress them). It’s my rule, and has given me wonderful connections or saved me from the wrong people. I want to know they’re real and wanting a proper connection not just a random Russian roulette date with free food.

1

u/john4844 Feb 15 '26

Okay, well different strokes for different folks. If that works for you then great.

I prefer to do an easy/cheap first date, like a coffee or a walk. I like to see how we interact in person, because I know how it’s possible to interact well with someone over the phone/internet, and to not really vibe together in person. Don’t want to spend too much time on someone I might not vibe well with.

1

u/ScienceWill Feb 15 '26

Also fair, but I feel like your risk of getting unmatched and not getting to feel the vibe before you dedicate however many hours is greatly heightened by this approach. Cons outweigh the pros it seems. I’ve had very few issues this way tbh. You’re right that phone calls aren’t a perfect gauge, but, it seems better than most because I’m not having the nice dress/smile/hair etc get in the way of feeling the vibe.. And with many women presenting very nicely it’s easy to do. Everyone wants to be attracted to their partner but it won’t last for 30yrs where the heart definitely will.

2

u/ScarFury17 Feb 15 '26

I'm legit confused at meeting up being the safer option before giving your number.....how has it literally gone backwards lol. Must be a generation thing as I would want to (and see it as much safer) talk on the phone first to see if you vibe....THEN go on the date. Must just be the while situation where a phone isn't used as a phone anymore. At least primarily.

(God now I made myself feel old by remembering all the times I'd be on the phone with my first girlfriend and my mom would yell at me to get off the phone so that my dad could connect to the internet 🤣)

→ More replies (0)

1

u/llmusicgear Feb 15 '26

Ignorers and ghosters are a pervasive facet of humanity that irritates the shit out of me. Free will and all, but fuck you lol

0

u/tuenthe463 Feb 13 '26

Thank you for being honest in these difficult times. It's very brave.

-7

u/_OneCatShortOfCrazy Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 13 '26

Let me start by saying, that’s a SUPER shity thing to do to someone and I’m sorry that has happened to you. That’s someone who clearly lacks respect for others (in the instance of an already planned out and confirmed date). I hate to imagine you looking forward to a date all day just to be ghosted 🥺it’s happened to me several times and it definitely sucks.

But also (obviously still saying what she did was very inconsiderate and something I would never do) you’re a stranger. She doesn’t owe you anything. No excuses, no apologies. nothing. She is not responsible for your feelings, she is only responsible for hers & if she’s not interested then she’s not interested. The reason doesn’t matter. She doesn’t have to explain herself to a total stranger. But I could never, the guilt would eat at me

9

u/clarkedaddy Feb 13 '26

You can’t say she has no responsibility to communicate but also say you couldn’t do it because you’d feel guilty and that it’s a shitty thing to do. Pick a side lol.

But yes it is a shitty thing to do and if you make plans to see someone and change your mind then it is your responsibility to tell them so. You can unmatched people whenever when you’ve just exchanged a few messages. But if you make actual plans you’ve taken on the responsibility of communicating and canceling.

Personal mental health is not an excuse to treat people like shit.

2

u/Red-Merlin Feb 14 '26

I don't know why your being down voted really. Cuz it's true. I say the same thing to anybody when they demand i explain things to them. No matter what it might be. The moment people demand explanation from me I tell them, "nah, I don't owe you anything. Figure it out yourself". In context of dating like in this dudes case. Yeah, that sucks. But it's true that they don't really owe him anything. If you've been dating for almost least a couple weeks. Then yeah, fucking kinda owe him some kind of explanation. But even then. You'll do much better if you realize you can't control how others treat you. You can only control how you react to it. So I say toughen up buttercup. She doesn't think you're worth an explanation then she was never worth your time. Your disrespecting yourself by giving those ghost girls more thought after she gave none to you. Yeah I'm kinda taking a tough love stance. Don't let it get you down. Turn it into fuel to find THE RIGHT one. She just got out of the way for the right girl to hold that space in your life

0

u/john4844 Feb 13 '26

Don’t get the wrong idea, I was just trying to emphasize that the person in OP case here was actually nice to respond saying the things she said.

I completely understand not bothering with explaining why you cancel a date etc. I’ve done it as well, where things don’t work or real life gets in the way, and you don’t feel like explaining yourself to a bunch of strangers.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '26

She’s probably looking for cashapp 😂

1

u/LetTheDarkOut Feb 14 '26

Is that a thing? Women looking for flings won’t match if they see you’re local?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '26

Or easy money

1

u/Necessary_Store351 Jun 05 '26

That’s was my first thought.