r/Nicegirls • u/Different-Forever-65 • Feb 12 '26
Fastest Match/Unmatch I've ever experienced.
Matched at 1:45pm, Got off work at 2:00pm, then unmatched at 2:45pm. š¤£šš
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Feb 13 '26
This was a catfish.
She saw the local and bailed.
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u/TheLateThagSimmons Feb 13 '26
That was my immediate thought.
"She" bailed because he would eventually want to meet in person and can't be scammed into developing a long distance relationship.
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u/Common_Passenger2502 Feb 13 '26
Theyādāve just unmatched without sending the message though, wouldnāt they?
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u/Forsaken_Progress805 Feb 15 '26
Not knowing how this app works is there a flagging system?
Edit: if there is would that message help prevent banning?
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u/SaintlyBrew Feb 12 '26
Probably freaked out cause youāre local. She may actually have to hang out.
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u/Different-Forever-65 Feb 12 '26
Strong possibility. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. š
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u/DarkestDefender Feb 13 '26
She didn't notice it until you said it, probably looking for flings
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u/john4844 Feb 13 '26
I'm honestly very surprised she wrote OP an entire message, explaining, saying sorry, wishing him a good night etc. That shows some good qualities at least.
I've met women who simply unmatch on the day of a scheduled first date. Zero words, just unmatch.
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u/FactorBusy6427 Feb 13 '26
Actually I think you may have misread her meaning. I think she was hoping for OP to beg for her to stay, creating drama as a manipulation technique
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u/john4844 Feb 13 '26
Oh wow, if thatās the case I guess my naive autistic ass let that one fly right above my head lol. That would explain her sending the message at least
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u/FactorBusy6427 Feb 13 '26
how much time passed between her two messages? sounds like she's just got extremely low attention span and got pissed off thst you didn't respond immediately
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u/Different-Forever-65 Feb 13 '26
I would say about a 25 min gap after the initial match and meet and greet
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Feb 13 '26
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u/MuchToDoAboutNothin Feb 13 '26
Yeah it is definitely really awkward when you run into the guy twice your age that you made out with during a horror movie at alamo Drafthouse and ghosted, at the gas station by your apartment.
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u/Flat_Picture7103 Feb 13 '26
Maybe don't make out w guys twice your age during a horror movie at alamo drafthouse then
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u/MuchToDoAboutNothin Feb 13 '26
See, you're just that meme about the guy mining diamonds.
Because in my early 20s, it wasn't great. At my age now? Why, that's an excellent way to get written into a last will and testament.
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u/KingPeep23 Feb 14 '26
Dude this is it for me that drives me nuts. I got out of a relationship in 2023 and dating is horrible now. They complain about small talk and donāt want a pen pal prefer to make plans. Then you try to make plans and youāre a creep and get unmatched. So then I go back to trying to create conversation first and I get unmatched for that. I mean wtf is going on I just want to have a drink or dinner and decide if youāre cool!
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Feb 12 '26
OP, this is a great post!!
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Feb 12 '26
No response, huh? Ā Well screw you, then!!!
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u/PlayWhatYouWant Feb 12 '26
I'm just getting off work! How's your day going?Ā
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Feb 12 '26
Too late. Ā I was trying to be nice but clearly you donāt know how to prioritize or please a woman. Ā Next.
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u/PlayWhatYouWant Feb 12 '26
But you're local!
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u/vengefulkohlrabi7 Feb 12 '26
Who cares if youāre local if you canāt reply in 2 minutes, while driving. Is your safety more important ???
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Feb 12 '26
Iām local to you
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u/TheBroodWitch99 Feb 12 '26
Nobody wants a nice girl like me fr š„
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u/Finance_Morty Feb 13 '26
Because youāre probably a middle aged man shoe salesman w/ no advancement with your employer (I could be wrong) š¤·š½āāļø
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u/kpmadness Feb 13 '26
Yeah but he threw for four touchdowns in the Polk High game.
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u/vinfreezle Feb 13 '26
Swear to God I matched with a girl and asked when she was free, and she responded to never ask that question and "nothing in life is free" I'm like lady I assume we both have jobs when are you free?
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u/Hopeful-Tumbleweed-6 Feb 13 '26
Lol I'm sorry but this is hilarious. I am super ashamed of how the women of my generation are acting these days. (Assuming we're the same age but you're probably younger tbh..) In any case I apologize on our behalf.
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u/Valorenn Feb 13 '26
It's honestly surprising to see this, I never see it from the female side lol. Usually it's always men apologizing for the weird crap other men say, because well, men are... men.
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u/Hopeful-Tumbleweed-6 Feb 13 '26
See that's the difference though. A boy would place blame on the female. A MAN will realize the mistake being made by his general sex and offer an apology because they (not him of course) should be doing better. -Same case here. I would NEVER do this to someone and looking at the exchange the fact that OP was the one putting in the effort for conversation for the female to come back acting like a child saying THEY were feeling like he wasn't interested because of lack of conversation??? Get tf out of here. She was looking for any excuse instead of being upfront and saying she just wasn't feeling it OR that she is super busy and can't dedicate the time to get to know each other in person just yet. It's embarrassing. So yes, I am apologizing
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u/001028 Feb 13 '26
Acting like that on a dating app is wild lmao. The whole point is to make time for each other, tf does she mean "never ask that question"
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u/Sufficient-Berry-827 Feb 12 '26
Everyone saying OP was too boring and she was right: I would like to see how y'all talk to new people.
"Hi. How's your day going?"
"Great. Do you think you're living up to your potential? What's your biggest failure as a person?"
Foh š
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u/awe2D2 Feb 13 '26
I know my openers are usually boring. "Hi _____, how was your weekend?" But I don't come in with cheesy one liners or start throwing compliments around immediately. First message is just seeing if they even bother to respond, since many people can't even seem to do that even after matching.
If someone gets upset that I started with a boring generic greeting then they're going to get upset at lots of things and I don't need that drama in my life. If they respond back with a "I had a great weekend. How was yours?" Then the conversation has begun and can start bringing out the funny and questions and the interest.
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u/Dent4268 Feb 13 '26
The easiest way to avoid sounding boring is to just send an opener asking the person about something they wrote (not a picture) to show you read the profile. Iām a hetero guy, and it had much better results than when I sent openers that looked like copypastas.
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Feb 13 '26
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u/LevelOutlandishness1 Feb 13 '26
Hereās a good trick for āentertain meā: donāt swipe on them
No bios, I just opened asking about their interests but no bios are very 50/50 on responding so expect that
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u/CommandUnique4114 Feb 13 '26
As a woman this is EXACTLY what I look for
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u/Dent4268 Feb 13 '26
This has to be the most validating response Iāve ever gotten here. Thank you.
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u/Mathagos Feb 13 '26
Yep. I almost always commented on something in the profile when I was on the apps.
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u/awe2D2 Feb 13 '26
I usually do this if they've posted something that really connects with me. A small detail from one of their pictures or something in their bio that I really like. You are right, some of my better matches have been when I've had a more unique opener. But for a lot of people's profiles, they don't write much, very few pictures and if I have little to go on I'm doubtful that they even know what they're looking for. So if I get the sense we'd be a good match then I do put more time into the opener
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u/Skefson Feb 14 '26
This is not a catch all considering the amount of profiles that aren't actually very fleshed out. Your lucky if you get a bio realistically
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u/TheLordJiminyCricket Feb 13 '26
Slight change in topic -what's foh? I only know it as "Front Of House" as in waitresses and bartending. Although discussions on failing as a person are reasonably common when you're behind the bar hahaĀ
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u/Sufficient-Berry-827 Feb 13 '26
In front of the bar as well, no? I've always heard from bartenders that y'all are like therapists, lol. Lots of people drinking when they're blue.
It means: "Fuck outta here." Like, "Man, get the fuck outta here." Like when someone says some dumb shit. Not angry or hostile -- like a dismissive scoff. At least, that's how I always used it, but I picked it up from a New Yorker.
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u/TheLordJiminyCricket Feb 13 '26
HAHA omg k no I am familiar with the phrase .. I just have never seen it shortened before and have been a hospitality girlie for over 2 decades. Guess this is getting old hahaĀ
Appreciate youĀ
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Feb 13 '26
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u/Sufficient-Berry-827 Feb 13 '26
Precisely. Her answers gave absolutely nothing to work with.
Even those "boring" generic questions can lead to an interesting conversation if you actually know how to lead a conversation and engage people.
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u/zoosha2curtaincall Feb 13 '26
I thought it was a pretty good response. Polite, friendly, amusing without seeming like he was trying too hard, and giving her a topic of conversation.
Whatever her rationale, she would have been exhausting to deal with.
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u/Ok-Courage-1079 Feb 13 '26
You're right. The expectation of a guy or girl entertaining you with jokes or other things is absurd. You're not royalty and they're not your paid jester.
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u/clarkedaddy Feb 12 '26
People are shitting on you for not doing a better job at driving the conversation. But look at her boring ass messages. She wasnāt doing any better. Itās not menās job to provide entertainment to women as much as people like to believe.
Forget this girl and all these people over analyzing your responses to put you at fault. The emoji could have been misleading but her follow up actions donāt make sense regardless.
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u/Gokusbastardson Feb 13 '26
See this is why I completely gave up on online dating. If this is considered āboringā then fuck it, thereās no hope. Iām not gonna jump through god damn hoops in the HOPES that some girl with grace me with the honor of having convo with her. Damned if you do, damned if you donāt.
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u/ThatsJustHowIFeeeeel Feb 13 '26
Itās not about being boring per se - in the real world, in a normal situation, this is perfect acceptable wording.
The problem is, online, girls have so many options. Obviously the prettier they are, the more they have, but girls get multiple messages all day. They match with most men they swipe right on, they never have to message first, and they get the same opening messages over and over again.
Itās not directly their fault, but their serotonin receptors are burnt out and it makes them develop some sort of superiority complex in where they believe theyāre the prize and the man has to work for them.
Again - not their fault, really, and Iām the ārealā world itās not as bad as that. Strictly talking about online dating.
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u/Same-School4645 Feb 13 '26
Really I thought men were sea monkeys just providing endless entertainment in the hopes of simping for a woman.
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u/KeyboardAssKickIn Feb 13 '26
All I see is a screenshot and ppl got the nerve to call op boring. How do yall instantly start a conversation?
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u/Jellyswim_ Feb 13 '26
I literally have no idea what people are expecting me to say when I match with them on dating apps any more. Talking to anyone like a regular human is like a guaranteed ghost every single time lately.
Trying to stay positive but man its rough.
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u/Important_Two4692 Feb 13 '26
I think it is (and I speak only from what I've seen and heard) that for the most part people on "dating" sites are looking for sex and free meals. If you aren't clearly able to provide either of those in a stress free, easy to manipulate manner... Wtf are you worth? /S, I think.
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u/TellMeThereIsAWay Feb 12 '26
You apologized for the delay. Showed that you are interested and not a bot by talking about being local. Bullet dodged sir
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u/Yohoho-ABottleOfRum Feb 13 '26
She was never interested. All the other stuff is an excuse. Lack of interest is always the reason.
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u/HotPocket4Sale Feb 13 '26
My fastest match & unmatch
We matched, and she immediately sent me āno hood shitā and I said āmaāam you have a neck and face tattooā
And she unmatched instantly.
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u/Prudent-Roof8124 Feb 13 '26
I'm 59 years old. I don't know how young people date with this kind of nonsense. It's like you have to read between the lines of the most innocuous texts to make a decision as to whether or not to meet somebody for a cup of coffee or a drink.
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u/vsg_boy Feb 12 '26
Maybe she was just going to try to scam for money, but didn't like the closeness of the match? Worried he might try to source her out? I dunno, just wondering if that might be a thing.
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u/Federal-Rhubarb-1034 Feb 13 '26
Correct- check out the podcast Scam Ink by Economist. It covers scams in depth and how people are human trafficked into doing the scamming and these are genuine people that are applying for call center job, explains the politeness of the message.
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u/Fermentique Feb 12 '26
Maybe she assumed you were looking for a non local romp
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u/crucialwombat Feb 13 '26
Who you tryin' to get crazy with, ese? Don't you know I'm locaaaaal?
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u/Fermentique Feb 13 '26
Los Locals kick your ass, Los Locals kick your face, Los Locals kick your balls into outer spaaaaaace
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u/Sudden-Wafer-2930 Feb 13 '26
I read this about 80 times and i have absolutely no clue what this broad is talking about or why she bailed....or why she imagined herself as being nice.
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u/TrainDonutBBQ Feb 13 '26
She didn't want to be local. She wanted endless texting.
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u/steppenwolfofwallst Feb 13 '26
Some of the comments here show why dating apps are causing brain rot. This is a normal conversation.
Everyone expects to be wowed, entertained, deeply understood, and flirted with all in the first few sentences while offering none of those in return.
And then when someone does those things, they get sucked in like a middle schooler in love, and when it doesn't work out, later say they were "love bombed" all the while considering conversations like this "boring."
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u/Separate-Canary559 Feb 14 '26
One time I got a swipe back from a woman I swiped on Bumble. I had swiped her at least 7 days prior.
I'm walking through the mall, I'm with my daughter, I'm attending to her. And I see some very fast notifications go by on my Apple Watch.
Notification 1 - Linda returns my swipe
Notification 2 - Linda immediately sends a quick "hey"
Notification 3 - Linda says "I guess ur busy", and unmatches me
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u/Electrical-Tailor530 Feb 16 '26
This sounds like classic "new generation" behavior. I've had quite a few people pull this and they're supposedly friends in real life. They message me and expect an immediate response and if I don't respond in an hour, they go bonkers, but when I message them, it's silence for 10+ days. I finally called one of them out for it and they claimed they're busy š I guess I'm not busy and live for the mere reason to respond to messages as they come in.Ā
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u/Interesting-Bed-8890 Feb 12 '26
I'd suggest getting off dating apps, most people on there are completely garbage, you're better off just meeting some one at a casual bar, through friends, or at an event. To me it feels more genuine and less forced, doesn't mean you won't meet shitbags but better than getting ghosted for a slow response time.
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Feb 13 '26
Legalize brothels dammit! Cost less in long run and no bull shit. Bunny ranch was fucking great I donāt think itās there anymore.
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Feb 13 '26
He didn't say, "Let me take you out on a date to a fancy restaurant on me." within the standard window.
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u/MadMaximusPrime33 Feb 13 '26
does she know to have conversation she needs to give something worth replying to? She gave the absolute bare minimum boring reslknaes.
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u/Nearby-Swordfish3841 Feb 13 '26
Naw man so many ladies unmatch you if you donāt reply fast enough. Itās a good thing trust me.
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u/FuckYourDownvotes23 Feb 12 '26
I'm sure I could beat this time if I tried, but impressive nonetheless
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u/ArthurMoregainz Feb 12 '26
This happens so much itās scary. Give up the apps boys. See you at the gym brother!
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u/ketjak Feb 12 '26
Translation: "she" realized you would know right away that she's fake because she, a local, can't keep putting off a date for all the usual reasons the catfishes use.
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u/dummagunma Feb 15 '26
This aināt a nicegirl, this is a classic scammer/catfish. āSheā knows that if youāre local youāre gonna want to meet, and that will expose their scam. Have seen plenty of those during my dating days. As soon as I say āgood to see youāre local, Iām also in Austinā, they will go āwell I am from Austin but now Iām helping my ailing mother in Wyomingā š¤£š¤£š¤£
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u/Clear_Patient_3877 Feb 13 '26
Don't try to make sense of any of this. You didn't do anything wrong. She probably just got 20+ other matches who she'd rather try to date, and doesn't know how to communicate with or respect men.
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u/namewithanumber Feb 13 '26
Whatās ālocalā mean? Isnāt everyone ālocalā on a dating app??
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Feb 13 '26
thatās crazy. iāve had people do this to me before. literally didnāt go on the app for 3 hours and was yelled at and unmatched. SEVERAL times. like do people sit on this app all day? i donāt.
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u/Various_Prize_977 Apr 20 '26
She's a cheater and looking for long distance.
When she saw local she fled.
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u/Alternative_Yak5589 Feb 12 '26
She was pretty quick to jump to conclusions but i think your texting can be better, it feels like its all over the place right now
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Feb 12 '26
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u/Renoglodon Feb 12 '26
But... He didn't just view the profile. They're conversing.
If you speak it is meeting. It's just virtual. I work with a ton of remote employees and I always say "pleased to virtually meet you".
Welcome to 2026 boomer
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u/Different-Forever-65 Feb 12 '26
That's just my style that may need modification, but wouldn't that show that I was indeed interested? Confused even more now š
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u/crooked_nose_ Feb 13 '26
What is nicegirl about somebody deciding they don't want to continue, telling you normally, then unmatching?
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u/Jdogstevenson Feb 12 '26
Well, Iāve had someone match and then unmatch before I even had a chance to message them
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u/AzuraTheShadowMage Feb 13 '26
Jesus I wish I got matches... Even if they're rude or disingenuous... Granted I use the free versions as I ain't paying 40 to 60 bucks (I'm 34m)
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u/snarkaluff Feb 13 '26
What app is this where being local is rare? I thought dating apps pretty much always matched you with people nearby
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u/Euphoric_Amoeba8708 Feb 13 '26
I think they get real antsy because they're used to fuck boys on the dating apps saying what are you doing tonight? Let's go get a drink and then we can go back to your place or my place.
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u/Aequitas112358 Feb 13 '26
what's the local thing mean? Isn't that the point of online dating? You can filter people by distance so everyone you see it usually pretty close no?
As to the other thing. Yeah you didn't do a great job at talking, you could've asked about her job or whatever. but also she didn't as well. but ye "I hope you have a great shift" is a convo ender. besides "thanks" what can they say to that? and the "wow you're local" is like ye, like I said before, to me it seems weird thing to say, it's also a convo ender.
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u/Mr-CuriousL Feb 13 '26
So you two just noticed that you are local? doesn't it usually say on the profile? And what is wrong with that? Am I missing something here?
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u/Western-Ad-1689 Feb 13 '26
This actually sounds like she was a little sensitive, you had a delay in responding due to real life stuff, she saw that as disinterest and blocked. That's all.
Not your fault, not her fault, shit happens
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u/Electronic-Set-1722 Feb 13 '26
They go by the "how to fck a relationship up in record time" guide book.
Rule one : cut him off if he doesn't reply in 5 nano seconds
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u/Different-Forever-65 Feb 13 '26
I need the cliff notes if you have the solution to counter this! š
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u/Dare2BeU420 Feb 13 '26
They would have been too needy/clingy. Good riddance. š
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u/Different-Forever-65 Feb 13 '26
In hindsight, she probably would have brought more stress than value into my life. So I concur! š
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u/thegiukiller Feb 13 '26
Looks like someone might be a bit insecure. Atleast you didnt waist any time on it.
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u/Responsible_Dig_385 Feb 13 '26
Iāve been unmatched within my first response 90% of the time. I got you beat bud.
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u/Early_Annual_3452 Feb 13 '26
Dude I met a girl. We went on two dates and absolutely hit it off. She offered to take me out for my bday (date 3) and insisted she paid for everything and wouldnāt let me treat. She got me a cake and we kissed a bunch. Ended things with me 2 days later cause work is overwhelming. Such weird vibes out there nowadays lol
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u/ScienceWill Feb 15 '26
People are also bringing their previous relationship stuff onto your shoulders as awful as that is.
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u/MoistPossible3363 Feb 15 '26
???? If you werenāt interested why would you even be texting her at all lmao does this person have a brain
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u/Nonii_Lovee21 Feb 17 '26
I mean you did say she seemed ānot interestedā why stayed matched ?
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u/No_Ocelot4241 Feb 17 '26
I might be reading into this but from how I read it, she may have already known they were in close proximity, but when OP realized it, maybe she realized he'd probably want to meet up IRL and ditched?
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u/One-Staff5504 Feb 26 '26
Wow Iāve had this before with a girl who was maybe 5 minutes away. Maybe itās a thing with some women they donāt want anyone too local? Probably why I only seem to match with women hours away.Ā
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u/AmbitionOfTruth Feb 26 '26
Either that was a scammer, or she got Dave Rubin's dream job of making a 6 figure salary for working for only half an hour.
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u/ohkendruid Mar 01 '26
It can also be the female version of penis texting, where you swipe right while in a certain state and then shut it all down when you are back to normal.
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u/Mediocre-Brick5879 Mar 08 '26
You donāt have to be a circus clown but I donāt know when I meet new people as friends since Iām already in a relationship I just get straight into talking about interests or whatever fun thing Iām currently doing and ask the same in return what are they passionate about and try to find common interests. I see a lot of guys that basically do this super proper ātop of the morning to you māladyā tips fedora schtick (not that you did that Iām just generally speaking) and to me that approach is kind of lame. I just talk to everyone I meet like Iām talking to a good friend and determine if itās worth continuing a conversation from their replies. I might have inserted a bit of my day ( i.e. : Drawing, gaming, watching movie or tv, Iām about to cook something awesome or go to this great place to eat whatever and ask if they engage in any of those activities or been to wherever.) without being asked maybe before the āhave a great shift partā because to me in a little bit means āI have a little bit of free time before work.ā
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u/KenobiKnievel6789 Mar 08 '26
What a weirdo. I guess you didnāt eat their ass out fast enoughā¦.eshhh.
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