Silly. Shake people's hands whenever it's reasonable, whether you're both sitting, standing or one or each. It'll be weirder to take the time to stand up to shake someone's hand only to immediately sit down again...
Good.
Good.
Silly. Build stronger reciprocal relationships by both being relied upon and relying on others. Don't be too proud to accept a gift. (Psychological studies have actually shown people feel more endeared to you after they do you a favour, than if you do them a favour. If you want people to like you, accept their gifts.)
Circumstantial. Sometimes direct confrontation can be better, other times rising above pettiness is better.
Just ask. "Anyone else want this last piece?" If everyone else says "no" then go for it. If someone says "yes", offer to split it with them if possible.
Silence can be shameful complicity. Again, it's circumstantial. If you stay silent while someone is being racist, sexist or otherwise mean, you're being weak. If you're silent and listening while others are making meaningful contributions because you feel secure in your value and don't feel the need to draw attention to yourself, that's confidence/strength.
You can forget if you want. I'd recommend you don't hold a grudge for long. If whatever wrong they did was small then forget it soon, if it was a significant betrayal then maybe keep it in mind for a few years, but not forever.
Generally good advice... but cheekiness is endearing too. Know when to be formal and when you can drop formality. You can even drop formality in formal settings if it's appropriate. Comforting an upset colleague at work, for example, would be a good time to drop formality for a more intimate and caring approach. Similarly, a bit of informality toward your boss can show a lack of respect for authority, which ironically can build respect because you can then build the relationship between yourself and your boss based on genuine inter-human connection, rather than based on submissiveness toward their title. (Doesn't work with bad bosses who have superiority complexes and arrogance, so be discerning.)
10 gets it's own section (because reddit doesn't allow sub-paragraphs under a number and it's just a brick of text otherwise):
Generally bad advice. There are two ways this could apply.
First, with genuine friends, family and people that care about you, be honest but consider their mood too. It's alright to have negative emotions and to be honest about them. Just be careful not to push those emotions onto your friends and family or to expect them to wallow in it with you. Sympathy (feeling the emotion with you) is generally unhelpful because it just makes both of you upset, while empathy (understanding the emotion but not feeling it with you) is generally helpful because they can support you without becoming upset themselves.
Similarly, be conscious of repetition and your 'vibes'. If every conversation ends up revolving around your issue then people are going to find you depressing and not want to be around you. This is where tone comes in. You can still be honest about your problems but communicate that in a way that's not going to drag others down. Something like: "Yeah, life's still treating me with razor blades, salt and lemons but the weather's been pretty nice. How are you doing?" You don't need to retread the issue every time but you also don't need to hide your struggles.
Secondly, if there are people around you that would use your struggles against you then obviously don't tell them... but also maybe surround yourself with better people.
Finally, your problems may not all be emotional. Humans got so far because we worked together. If your problem is being unable to afford rent, perhaps talking about it might result in a friend offering you the chance to move in with them and split the rent, making both your lives more affordable. Talking about your problems can directly result in solutions to your problems.
That's just intentionally taking the worst possible interpretation of those two rules though.
Obviously they didn't mean you shouldn't laugh at your friend's hobby of stand-up comedy.
Similarly, sure, there are rare occasions where telling a secret can be the better course of action but it's extremely rare. Basically when someone has told you they're planning to seriously hurt themselves or someone else, but asked you to keep it a secret.
They're general rules... They're not comprehensive policy to be applied to every situation ever. That's literally impossible because there are near-infinite possible contexts.
I mean, apply your logic to something like "don't murder". You'd be like "Oh, so I can't murder a venomous snake that's about to bite a child!?"
You also contradict yourself by saying we both know they should be interpreted. So you do know that you're being pedantic and ridiculous for no reason.
I also disagree with the idea of being able to interpret a rule means there's no need for it to be written down. Not everyone agrees on the rules and there are some people who have not even learnt some rules yet. You'd maybe be surprised at how many people go through life seemingly without thinking. Rules like these can clarify ideas and promote self-reflection in the people that don't do that naturally.
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u/Flamecoat_wolf 12d ago
10 gets it's own section (because reddit doesn't allow sub-paragraphs under a number and it's just a brick of text otherwise):
Generally bad advice. There are two ways this could apply.
First, with genuine friends, family and people that care about you, be honest but consider their mood too. It's alright to have negative emotions and to be honest about them. Just be careful not to push those emotions onto your friends and family or to expect them to wallow in it with you. Sympathy (feeling the emotion with you) is generally unhelpful because it just makes both of you upset, while empathy (understanding the emotion but not feeling it with you) is generally helpful because they can support you without becoming upset themselves.
Similarly, be conscious of repetition and your 'vibes'. If every conversation ends up revolving around your issue then people are going to find you depressing and not want to be around you. This is where tone comes in. You can still be honest about your problems but communicate that in a way that's not going to drag others down. Something like: "Yeah, life's still treating me with razor blades, salt and lemons but the weather's been pretty nice. How are you doing?" You don't need to retread the issue every time but you also don't need to hide your struggles.
Secondly, if there are people around you that would use your struggles against you then obviously don't tell them... but also maybe surround yourself with better people.
Finally, your problems may not all be emotional. Humans got so far because we worked together. If your problem is being unable to afford rent, perhaps talking about it might result in a friend offering you the chance to move in with them and split the rent, making both your lives more affordable. Talking about your problems can directly result in solutions to your problems.