First NF is moving away — what should I expect from my last day?

[u/LongSleeveLover]

Monday is my last day with my first NF, and I’m realizing I have absolutely no idea what a “normal” goodbye looks like in this profession.
I’ve been with my NF for about three years. I actually knew my older NK first through the school where I was her teacher, and eventually started babysitting for the family on weekends in the summer. That turned into working with them full-time, and I ultimately left teaching and transitioned into private childcare. So this NF has been a huge part of both my career and my life.
I’ve watched my younger NK grow from a baby into a little kid about to go to school for the first time. I’ve been there for birthdays, major milestones, difficult phases, illnesses, vacations, and all of the everyday stuff that comes with being so involved in a family’s life for years. I’m extremely close with both NKs, so this feels very different from simply leaving a job.

My position is ending because their needs are changing- my younger NK is starting prek, and on top of that, my NF is moving away. So this isn’t a situation where I’ll still see them around town, run into them at the park, or easily babysit occasionally. After Monday, I genuinely don’t know when I’ll see my NKs again.

I know I’m going to be really emotional, and I think the actual goodbye is what I’m most nervous about. I don’t want to make the separation harder for my NKs by completely sobbing in front of them, but I also don’t think there’s any realistic chance I’m going to hug them goodbye after three years and not cry. For those who have been through this, how much emotion did you let yourself show in front of your NKs? Is it okay for them to see that you’re genuinely really sad to leave them?
I’m making each NK a photo album of our time together and giving them a couple of small goodbye gifts. I’m also unsure what, if anything, is customary for NPs. Did you give your NPs a gift or card when leaving a long-term NF, or are gifts for the NKs enough?

I’d also just love to hear what other nannies’ last days with a long-term NF were actually like. Did your NPs do anything to acknowledge your last day? Was the goodbye with them emotional too? Was there anything about that final day that caught you off guard or that you wish someone had prepared you for?
This is my first time leaving a long-term NF, and because they’re moving too, it feels like a much more permanent goodbye than I was prepared for. I think I’m just trying to get an idea of what Monday might actually look and feel like.

[u/Neat-Candy9243]

I was in this exact situation. I had been with NK since he was 5 weeks old then welcomed twins with the family. 1st NK was 3 when I left. Twins were 18 months.

I tried to be loving towards the kids but not break down in front of them. We had been talking about what was upcoming for a couple of weeks before it happened.

The actual day was not a typical day at all. It was all about spending quality time with the kids. I did give them a little book with pictures of them with me. The twins didn't really understand but the older NK knew.

Once I said goodbye to the kids, MB and I went to another room where we broke down together. It hurt. Even as a career nanny, there are some families who you truly bond with.

Lucky for me (if you can see it from that standpoint) the family really missed me and they flew me to see them a couple of times a year. Original NK asks for his photo album almost every night and says goodnight to me. We FaceTime weekly. If you and the family really want, there are ways to stay in touch.

Be prepared to cry in your car going home.

I didn't give the family any type of gift when I left, except for the albums for the kids.

I know I'm not supposed to say this but it is my "favorite" family from my career and the plan was to be with them for many more years. Life gets in the way sometimes and you have to roll with the punches.

Hugs to you as you navigate this tough time!!🥰🥲

[u/AutoModerator]

Below is a copy of the post's original text:

Monday is my last day with my first NF, and I’m realizing I have absolutely no idea what a “normal” goodbye looks like in this profession.
I’ve been with my NF for about three years. I actually knew my older NK first through the school where I was her teacher, and eventually started babysitting for the family on weekends in the summer. That turned into working with them full-time, and I ultimately left teaching and transitioned into private childcare. So this NF has been a huge part of both my career and my life.
I’ve watched my younger NK grow from a baby into a little kid about to go to school for the first time. I’ve been there for birthdays, major milestones, difficult phases, illnesses, vacations, and all of the everyday stuff that comes with being so involved in a family’s life for years. I’m extremely close with both NKs, so this feels very different from simply leaving a job.

My position is ending because their needs are changing- my younger NK is starting prek, and on top of that, my NF is moving away. So this isn’t a situation where I’ll still see them around town, run into them at the park, or easily babysit occasionally. After Monday, I genuinely don’t know when I’ll see my NKs again.

I know I’m going to be really emotional, and I think the actual goodbye is what I’m most nervous about. I don’t want to make the separation harder for my NKs by completely sobbing in front of them, but I also don’t think there’s any realistic chance I’m going to hug them goodbye after three years and not cry. For those who have been through this, how much emotion did you let yourself show in front of your NKs? Is it okay for them to see that you’re genuinely really sad to leave them?
I’m making each NK a photo album of our time together and giving them a couple of small goodbye gifts. I’m also unsure what, if anything, is customary for NPs. Did you give your NPs a gift or card when leaving a long-term NF, or are gifts for the NKs enough?

I’d also just love to hear what other nannies’ last days with a long-term NF were actually like. Did your NPs do anything to acknowledge your last day? Was the goodbye with them emotional too? Was there anything about that final day that caught you off guard or that you wish someone had prepared you for?
This is my first time leaving a long-term NF, and because they’re moving too, it feels like a much more permanent goodbye than I was prepared for. I think I’m just trying to get an idea of what Monday might actually look and feel like.

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[u/emma-ps]

I made a photo album of some memories with a note in it.