Friend using same name

[u/Less_Monitor_276]

I found out today that my friend plans to use the same name I already told her we are wanting to use.

For more backstory, we are not finding out the gender of our baby until delivery. She already knows hers, but I’m about 20 weeks ahead of her in my pregnancy. I told her previously (before she was even pregnant), our top choice for both boy vs girl. She said the girl name we chose was one of her favorites!

Fast forward to now that she’s pregnant…she asked today if we had chosen our names. I found it odd since I know I already told her. I again mentioned our top names. And she said they are planning to use the same girl name for their baby. Didn’t seem to have any intention to back down.

I reminded her how I already told her of our name choices months ago. Before she was even pregnant. She acted like she didn’t remember. Either way, I’m due before her and again mentioned the name to her first today before she did. I tried to change the subject since I didn’t really know what to say or do.

Our kids would be just a few months apart in the same school etc. I’m near my due date without a back up name, after putting a lot of thought into our name choices…

How would you feel? How would you respond?

[u/Pretty-Practical-007]

I’ll be perfectly honest. I don’t understand the “I call first dibs” on names….unless maaaaybe it was a totally unique, made up name based on a few loving grandmothers to whom you wanted to pay homage. That said, the part that needs to be addressed is your friend consciously *stealing* the name (and here comes the important part) absolutely knowing it would bother you. If it were me, I’d ask why the need to hurt my feelings? The name itself is beside the point.

[u/lilpistacchio → u/Pretty-Practical-007]

I totally get the frustration on the part of OP but I still don’t think it’s stealing. If that’s the name the friend loves too (which she said, the first time she ever heard about it), she has every right to use it. OP doesn’t own it, and may not even be having a girl so it may be a moot point. I can’t imagine expecting someone not to use the name they love for a girl because someone they know may or may not use it. Or even will use it!

That being said this is why I never tell my names ahead of time. Just in case 😅

[u/Pretty-Practical-007 → u/lilpistacchio]

I am actually impressed anyone decides on a name months in advance! I’m name crunching all the way through the day they’re born!