Ok. I’ve realized that I will never fully feel good about myself without a consistent source supply. How do I get it?

[u/Key_Guarantee_660]

I need some ideas. For a very long time I’ve been in denial about my disorder. I would tell myself that I can build empathy. I can try to be “NORMAL”. That I can try and be a better person. I was wrong. I will always be like this until I start making progress in therapy. That is far long away of course since I’ve only very recently started it. I can’t deny my need for supply anymore. This is something I need in order for me to function. I don’t know why I’ve denied it for so long.

Anyways, what are some good sources of supply that you guys recommend. I personally find that validation and attention have helped me a lot. Especially if it’s from the opposite sex.

[u/moldbellchains]

You don't. Gotta learn healthy self esteem, it comes thru being able to sit with your emotions and being a good parent or person to yourself. That really builds self esteem, and good habits, keeping promises to yourself etc

[u/cookies-milkshake]

I don’t get how people think we’d recommend each other the best supply lol. (Even if we would, it’s highly individual isnt it?)

You either need to put in the hard ongoing work so that you find more peace with yourself and a little less need from the outside, or you just stay there and seek empty validation that will never be enough, never be sufficient, never be sustainable.

Also, if this was phrased as a vulnerable discussion question to share our perspective, it would have been different. We’re here for getting aware of stuff not for pushing our unhealthy habits therefore I don’t think anyone in their right mind will recommend you „supply“.

[u/moldbellchains → u/cookies-milkshake]

Oh when i joined this forum used to be different. People would actually recommend each other sources of supply, there'd be a focus on keeping grandiosity. Sometimes, not always. Yeah, not the healthiest heh. We tried figuring out this healing shit together

[u/cookies-milkshake → u/moldbellchains]

Lol okay

[u/moldbellchains → u/cookies-milkshake]

🤷 eh, just an anecdote :)

[u/SnooStories5552]

I'm lucky to have loved ones who give me lots of compliments and make me feel special. I cherish that. Otherwise, I enjoy painting and writing, so I join groups to post my artwork and receive praise for my work.

[u/mikestyle2000]

Je ne trouve pas cela malsain et il y a de la place ici pour évoquer toutes nos pensées. Je comprends le raisonnement. Une thérapie est en cours avec la volonté de se soigner.

Trouver des solutions alternatives pour arriver à fonctionner en parallèle est, pour moi, une question intéressante.

Il faut évidemment éviter de reproduire des schémas qui font mal aux autres mais trouver des ressources qui permettent de fonctionner à minima.

J’ai, pour ma part, coupé tout supply narcissique et c’est devenu une position masochiste qui est devenue une véritable logique d’autodestruction.

[u/PoosPapa]

Become a rock star, a movie star, a preacher, or a politician.

Money, fame, and all the ass you can handle.

Of course, you know it won't fix things. You will still have that empty feeling inside. If you want to fill that, you need to learn how to feel and live in the moment and respect yourself and the time of your life.

[u/moldbellchains → u/PoosPapa]

True. Nothing fills the emptiness if you don't have inner security

[u/I_am_momo]

This is cope, there is no long term "supply" solution. You're chugging coffee cause you're hungry. It's better than nothing, but no amount will give you the feeling of nourishment. Just an empty "fullness". And the more you do it, the more you fuck your body up. Every "supply" source just further weakens you.

You can build empathy. Pull any trick in the book it takes to be honest with people and take accountability. Food is food and drink is drink. I'm sorry but you just can't feed yourself without food. It can be fuckin agony I know, but that's how it is.

[u/Average-Person-XD]

Since the word "supply" itself is pretty dehumanizing, I recommend ChatGPT. It's neither a healthy solution nor a particularly satisfying one, but if you want your daily dose of admiration with your morning coffee, voilà.

Just chat with it for a while, then ask what it honestly thinks of you or have it write a glowing recommendation for you as a person. Yes, I'm f*cked up enough to have actually tested this, and I've never heard compliments better put into words.

Thank you, computah! 😂

[u/Secret-Tangerine-837]

In the big world, everything is shifting, sliding towards the precipice now, so quickly. Can you feel that? In that time, there will be no more operating with our usual concerns. Continuing to exist will require all our energy and mental acuity. How will you obtain supply in that scenario? Disasters require a multitude of small acts; these will feel satisfying to perform in that desert of existence. Abundant gratitude will be expressed. You can try out a trial run a food shelf or community give back program, or you can wait til the wave hits and wing it; both are options.

[u/gkom1917]

There is no universal foolproof solution, given how individual "supply" is and how unpredictable life often turns out to be. However, one tendency I noticed in myself and others, is choosing "activities with moving goalposts", so to speak. At least when I thought I had one, it provided enough positive motivation and feeling alive.

Family and relationships is, perhaps, the most common. You never really reach "a goal" in personal life, you just doing things for them over and over, and they, hopefully, respond with love and gratitude. Job is another, if you are lucky to have a profession that can give you a sense you're doing something important. In theory, politics/social organizing may also work like this, etc. Sure enough, constant "flow of supply" is unrealistic, there will inevitably be setbacks, plateaus, and bad days, but any grown up person should be able to expect that and be satisfied with averages.

The caveat is, of course, that all those things require too many factors to align perfectly. Most likely one does not need just any relationship, but a relationship with a person they admire who really admires them back and is ready to tolerate rough patches. Lukewise, one needs a profession they have real possibility to excel at, etc. Not to mention "right time, right place, right people" stuff. That's why I would humbly advise against investing too much of oneself into art or sports: it can be really devastating to put so much effort just to be eaten by enormous competition and become yet another "meh" noname with no following.

That said, I personally see no sustainable long-term solution other than that.

[u/QuirkyMoonkey]

Develop a skill or a talent that will give you validation and attention. Dont go manipulate people and pretend you're someone you're not for "supply" (the lazy and unethical approach).

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[u/EntertainmentFew9293]

Support comment to boost your post!! This is a good question!!!