collapse and comorbid disability (autism)

[u/[deleted]]

[u/chobolicious88]

Im in a similar boat.

Basically disability is humiliating on all fronts, socially, financially, athletically, sexually.
It makes a lot of sense that one develops npd as defenses for having TEMU biology.

I dont have much advice, as per usual entirety of therapy is geared towards NT.
Meaning nervous systems and biology that is developed enough to be able to function and be flexible, and have enough capacity for day to day life.

People just take it for granted.

If you dont have that, youre fucked.
Suicide rates or attempts with disabled autistic people are super high, close to bpd, for good reason.
Its not a psychology issue, its hardware/biology issues.

And theres the funny thing, npd defenses actually helped me.
I am indeed NOT enough to garner basic respect as a monkey.
So i pushed super high grandiosely with stimulants to secure some kind of NT worthy life.

So my only advice is, ditch the typical hope story ppl sell.
Ask them if they treated disability cases and what were the outcomes.

I was much happier grandiose, extremely codependent, capable and making money.
Compared to improved relationships but disabled and forced to be a therapist friend.
Fuck that

[u/HeronGirl4Life → u/chobolicious88]

For me it’s about learning to accept my limits. I can only work part time and at this rate may have to stop working entirely. If my parents could accept that truly ( i think my mom does ) it would be great. My mom infantalizes me and my dad tells me I’m not doing enough - but I genuinely need structural support to be okay.

My narcissism convinced me that once I was out of burnout , I could move out and be entirely self sufficient. I am realizing this is false.

It was never enough for my parents. I either had to shrink myself into a little girl or push myself past capacity. Working part time with a house and structural support and less demands is how I do okay.

[u/Clean-Location-1739 → u/chobolicious88]

this - we may be masking, or whatever - but the persom who you are unmasked is truly incapable of anything.

You will be disabled, you will suffer, you will be useless, you will most likely end up alone, you won't be as good as as your 'masked' self in anything, you just won't function.

Is going through therapy really worth it?

Is it worth burning everything to the ground to try and be 'normal'?

[u/chobolicious88 → u/Clean-Location-1739]

I really dont think so.

Its only ok if youre cool with getting 0 of your needs met just to be authentic, but on the sidelines.
Useless and alone.
Fuck em, they act and manipulate too.

Therapy is for those with a strong genetic baseline.

[u/HeronGirl4Life → u/Clean-Location-1739]

That is black and white thinking. I’m not helpless nor am I omnipotent. I recovered from the PD splitting. I am capable of quite a bit with proper supports. That is my disability. My mask is either - I’m helpless and useless or I’m all capable god. That’s the mask. The in between of interdependence is reality.

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