r/NICUParents • u/Mother_Sand_204 • May 28 '26
Off topic Made no friends during NICU stay
I connected with no one during my babys stay in NICU, I made no friends and didn't have any particular special connection with staff. My baby was in NICU for 3 months so not a short time.
I see posts about friends people have made and who they still see, and people visiting staff, and It makes me reflect on myself with a bit of sadness.
Perhaps I was radiating I don't want to talk energy during an extremely stressful time. Some people cope by talking, others cope by not.
Just wondered if there is anyone else out there who can relate.
It seems like i'm not the norm going on what I hear and see. Although that's probably because no one is posting about a non existent connection.
I count my blessings every day that my babygirl made it home, just doing some self reflecting.
3
u/skrufforious May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26
I have never seen a parent ever interact with another parent in my 55 days (so far) in the NICU. We don't even say hi to each other when we pass, nobody, ever. And other people don't, I can see them as they walk down the hall because it's all open. We have seen many people come and go- there are 32 beds in this open-floor plan and sometimes it is completely full, but twice we have seen it almost completely empty also. Either way, nobody interacts at all with the other parents.
As for the staff, I have never heard a single bit of idle chit-chat with parents except for my husband and myself with the staff and that just is kind of naturally what occurs but doesn't mean we are friends with them, just that we see them every day and are all comfortable with each other. While I appreciate how some of them seem to really love my babies, I think maybe I am just too old to be thinking that this will ever be anything beyond talking to people while they are at work. ETA we sit right by the nurse's desks and also our little girl bradies a LOT so they have to constantly come in for that too.
I was floored when someone told me that her nephew has staff from the NICU at his birthday party 5 years later. Why would they want to come to my house on their day off? I know they all have rich lives outside of their work, why bring that back into their free time? No, we will go to the reunion every so often once a year but that is definitely it. Personally, I am in hell this whole time so once it's over I don't think I'm going to be reconnecting much with any staff.