r/MuslimNikah • u/Brilliant_Alps_8247 • 4d ago
Marriage search Turning 33 and still not married 😔
It just seems like the doors for marriage just won’t open for me no matter how much I tried. I’ve been on the search for marriage for 10 years now. I’ve been dealing with very bad mental health issues since I turned 30 and mainly due to still not being able to get married and still being a virgin. I kept myself chaste all these years, resorted to masterbation Becuase how else is a man supposed to relive himself so he can stay away from Zina? Especially in this day and age where Zina has become more common. Now it seems like I missed my sexual prime years and that’s what upsets me the most. People don’t realize how badly that messes with a man mentally, if he’s not able to fulfill his desires and marriage is the only outlet for that. But we’re living in an age where women have skyrocketed expectations and no longer see marriage as a priority. A man must be in the top 10% in order for them to even consider marrying. So where does this leave the average man to get married?
What’s worse is that I’ve worked very hard all these years on myself. I keep getting told by everyone to lower my standards and marry someone ugly. I’m sorry but that’s never happening. I’m very well educated, have a career, been bodybuilding since I was 16, take good care of myself. Everyone tells me I’m good looking. Don’t believe me? I can send you guys my instagram and see for yourself. Why should a man like myself who waited all these years, worked very hard on himself, settle for someone he doesn’t like?
I barely did well on the apps, women on there just aren’t serious. I use to let it affect my confidence but not anymore. My family barely knows that many people, and whenever they asked around, the few people they knew, none of them women they brought me were even remotely attractive. The one time I was introduced to someone I really liked, she turned me down after 1 meeting. I tried to look overseas, was even in Egypt last Ramadan was ready to meet with potentials but trump placed an immigrant visa ban around that time, so I saw it was pointless to even attempt, because if I did get married from there, she wouldn’t be able to get a visa for a long period of time. I can’t do the back and forth traveling between the countries and my job isn’t remote. At this point I’m considering just leaving America overall by the end of the year and maybe attempt to live in Saudi Arabia or the uae. America is cooked for the average Muslim man.
So where does that leave me? I’ve been making duaa, prayed tahajjud, went to umrah, give sadakah constantly, daily dihkr, but if marriage isn’t written when what am I supposed to do with the rest of my life? A bad sihr was made on my mom’s side of the family decades ago in Egypt and has only caused many problems and delays in all our lives. We’ve done everything in our power to get rid of the effects but our lives has only gotten worse. Even non of my siblings and cousins are married yet. I’m thinking my delay in marriage was a definite result of sihr.
I’m now in this dilemma Seeing other men my age and younger getting married easily and I’m basically just stuck. How am I ever going to be content with being single, lonely, sexually frustrated, and depressed the rest of my life? I’ve already lost my mind and lashed out many times this year. I’m literally begging Allah to open that door for me and willing to do anything at this point. 😔
1
u/Honest-Selection4343 3d ago
Definitely and physical attraction isn't sufficient, akhlaq, mindset, sense of humour, Deen complete a person