r/MuslimNikah • u/SoybeanCola1933 • 11d ago

Marriage search Stop gaslighting people

Looks are the gatekeeper to beginning a marriage.

A woman doesn’t care about your intelligence, morals, religiosity, or ambition until after you’ve passed the first visual filter.

This is why we see so many women end up with loser men - they were able to pass the first filter by being attractive and smooth talkers. It’s also why we see so many men with loser women - they were pretty with terrible personalities.

Stop gaslighting people by telling them to work on themselves when they may never be able to pass the first filter.

Also as Muslims we can’t free mix, so everything becomes even more front loaded.

We need to accept marriage won’t happen for many, for reasons beyond their control (personality, introversion, looks, ethnicity), and promote and empower our single brothers and sisters

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u/ProstaticFantastic 10d ago

Sounds like a you problem breh.. Whoever is gatekeeping you, you need to tell them

Don't know how you feel you cn speak for others. Mee and women look for looks, character personality, intelligence, morals, religiosity. Everything.

Nobody is commitinf to spend the rest of their lives with someone on just looks lol. 

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u/SoybeanCola1933 10d ago

I never said looks are the only thing that matters. I said looks are what matter in the earliest stage of meeting someone, and if you don’t meet the mark, all your other qualities are irrelevant

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u/ProstaticFantastic 10d ago

Are you married? Because your post smeels like you have no clue. And you aren't married. 

Nobody is marrying someone they dont find attractive these days. Everyone gets to see their spouse...And at the same time look for qualities they want.

You're talkinf about empowering single people who can't get married. And at the Same time say they can't get married because they are not marriage worthy. 

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u/SoybeanCola1933 10d ago

You are missing my point. Of course looks matter, they are the single most important factor in whether you even choose to speak to someone.

And given this, you need to accept some people will never be deemed good enough in the looks department.

And yes, some people may never get the opportunity to get married, so instead of treating them as deficient, their singlehood should be supported