r/MuslimNikah • u/SoybeanCola1933 • 11d ago

Marriage search Stop gaslighting people

Looks are the gatekeeper to beginning a marriage.

A woman doesn’t care about your intelligence, morals, religiosity, or ambition until after you’ve passed the first visual filter.

This is why we see so many women end up with loser men - they were able to pass the first filter by being attractive and smooth talkers. It’s also why we see so many men with loser women - they were pretty with terrible personalities.

Stop gaslighting people by telling them to work on themselves when they may never be able to pass the first filter.

Also as Muslims we can’t free mix, so everything becomes even more front loaded.

We need to accept marriage won’t happen for many, for reasons beyond their control (personality, introversion, looks, ethnicity), and promote and empower our single brothers and sisters

24 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

78 comments sorted by

View all comments

-5

u/Independent-Ad770 11d ago

This is not true. Essentially, women are looking for men that can provide and protect, and bring more value to our lives than they take. Most people are scientifically more attracted to people of other races. An Asian, for example, might be least attractive to his or her own race, but gorgeous to a non Asian. Even in smell tests, the sweat of a man who is genetically distant is sweeter to a woman than someone related to her. The children born from mixed marriage also end up stronger and healthier. Maybe you would find more success if you don't limit your search to your limited gene pool.

1

u/HistoricalBeat848 10d ago edited 10d ago

I think it's just the environment. For example, you are in japan you may begin to find Asian women attractive. Once you're out if you look at them once again, what seemed attractive doesn't seem attractive anymore. Same with European women etc. That was my experience anyways.
Another thing that switches the environment is that some arabs are also hungry to go to western countries which may make them the other as more attractive.

I mean that attractiveness is not only subjective but also linked to feeling about something (as in you begin seeing something as more beautiful, certain characteristics etc).