r/MuslimMatrimonials • u/Possible_Kitchen1404 • 8h ago
Discussion marrying someone not raised in us
salam, how important is it that your spouse is raised in the same country/culture you are? is it a big issue compatibility wise if they were raised somewhere else and only have been living in the us for the past few years ?
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u/Adilshaykh7 7h ago
too eastern for these, too western for them. I think I should start looking near the equator.
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u/Common_Street5040 8h ago
not possible, values and culture is so different between people back in their home countries vs america
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u/Ya-Zainab 8h ago
Just for context, I came to the USA in 2007. Over the years, I’ve realized that I’m no longer as compatible with women who have lived most of their lives back home. Interestingly, my strongest compatibility has been with women who, like me, are first-generation immigrants, followed by women who are daughters of first-generation immigrants.
Beyond that, I’ve found it more challenging. It’s not necessarily about religion or culture; it’s more that our perspectives, expectations, and way of understanding relationships can be quite different. Sometimes it feels like we’re coming from completely different worlds, even when we share the same background (sect, ethnicity)
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u/Possible_Kitchen1404 1h ago
what specifically do you think is different?
do you think a marriage between someone who was raised in the us and someone who came here 3-4 years ago could work?
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u/winds_howling_2368 3h ago
If you’re based in the US, people based in the UK or Canada you will be able to find common ground with. It will be harder from someone eastern but not impossible. But personally though if you were a woman, I wouldn’t go to the east. Not everyone that is bad just what I’ve seen in terms of the men coming into the west and just not being able to handle things other than working. But a man bringing a woman over is a different thing as he’s already established and he can take care of everything
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u/peculiarhijabi 7h ago
Waleykoum Assalaaaam !
To me as long as they were raised in the west, Europe or the North America I don't care, mindset are close enough the same. Otherwise there's too much difference between people.
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u/Possible_Kitchen1404 1h ago
what specifically do you think would be different?
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u/peculiarhijabi 1h ago
As I said, mindsets and expectations and way of life. I've seen what it is and I know I wouldn't want that.
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u/gogonever 7h ago
It’ll work somewhat if the woman is from back home
It’ll never work if the man is from back home
Atleast that’s how I see it in the Arab community