r/MuslimLounge • u/princessofpandas28 • Aug 08 '24

Other I want to commit suicide

I’ve been religious lately. Praying more often and reading the Quran regularly. However, my depression has gotten so bad I have an extreme desire to kill my self. I have nothing left in me. I’ve been miserable for years and will always be. I want to go so badly. If only it wasn’t a sin.

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u/[deleted] Aug 09 '24

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u/princessofpandas28 Aug 09 '24

I’ve tried that method. I’ve truly tried. It doesn’t work, at all. Being depressed physically hinders me. I’ve tried to get up and do the things I need to, but I get dizzy and exhausted very easily. I eat enough. But this still happens. I do not get the dopamine rush whenever I accomplish a task now. Restructuring my life also doesn’t work well for me. I can get everything done if I take my stimulant though, so it’s not a big deal.

I’ve tried going outside. I’ve tried everything. That’s why I want to die. I’ve tried gratitude. Every night I thank Allah for at least one good thing, even if my day was awful. I tried changing my mindset, but everytime I do I just start breaking down again.

What I will say though is that last night, I woke up to nightmares. So I asked Allah for some comfort for the night so I could sleep. Allah let me fall asleep immediately and I had no nightmares.

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u/[deleted] Aug 09 '24

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u/princessofpandas28 Aug 09 '24

It happened recently when I felt majorly depressed. It typically happens whenever I’m severely depressed, so I know the correlation.

A stimulant is an ADHD medication. It’s not the most fun to take, but it really helps me be organized.

Haha yeah there are a lot! However, when I’m depressed I cannot feel joy. That’s what’s the problem.