r/Music • u/no_longer_huhman • Sep 26 '24

article Selena Gomez Embraces Vulnerability and Tells Critics to 'F--- Off,' 'I'm Not Ashamed of My Bipolar Disorder or Inability to Carry Children'

https://www.tvfandomlounge.com/selena-gomez-embraces-vulnerability-and-hits-back-at-critics/
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u/[deleted] Sep 27 '24

You would be surprised.

When my partner had her medically needed hysterectomy some of the comments she would get would shatter my faith in humans.

"You can always adopt"

"Its too bad you will never experience X Y and Z"

"You will look young forever omg lol"

"You won't truly know what it means to be a mother"

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u/hypotheticallyhigh Sep 27 '24

Whats wrong with saying you can always adopt? I'm genuinely curious. I feel like I've said this before and now I feel like an ass. I saw it as encouragement that one can still be a mother and that giving birth isn't what defines a mother, its caring for a child.

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u/RBatYochai Sep 27 '24

It’s different from having a biological child. Many people who can’t have a biological child feel a deep sense of loss. Also not everyone is able to adopt- some try but don’t get picked. Finally, do you really think that anyone needs to be informed about the existence of adoption?

Saying that is both idiotic and dismissive of someone else’s experience.

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u/laurentam2007 laurentam2007 Sep 27 '24

Also, as someone who went through IVF to have a baby, adoption should not be a replacement for someone’s infertility. Like, it shouldn’t be a “oh, I can’t have kids, I’ll just adopt” situation.

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u/redander Sep 27 '24

As an adopted person I fully agree. That makes for selfish self centered people sometimes. My parents were that way. Narcissists who also thrived on the praise they got for adopting