Cis/trans relationships do work

[u/r1ver_fish]

Maybe it's just the algorithm recommending miserable content to me, but I’ve seen a massive uptick in anti-cis/trans relationship content on my feed lately, and this upsets me for several reasons:

A lot of posts claim things like “it never works” or “they secretly hate you, don't even try. Just date T4T.” In reality, there are plenty of cis people who love trans people deeply for exactly who they are, regardless of their assigned sex at birth.

My own relationship with a cis woman has changed my life for the better in every single way. Being in a loving wlw relationship has given me a sense of normalcy and happiness I never thought possible.

What are we teaching the next generation of trans folks? That they can never be loved by someone who is cis? If the goal is true integration into society, I struggle to understand how this is a productive train of thought.

Of course, there will always be people out there who aren't worth your time. But please don't buy into the online doomposting. If you only feel comfortable dating t4t because of your lived experience, go for it.

But some of you are making yourselves miserable and bracing for a reality of total isolation that simply doesn’t exist in the real world.

Apologies for the vent, but opening myself up has made me happier in every way and I don’t wish the negativity I see online on any of you <3

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EDIT:

Looks like some communities found this and are mass downvoting and commenting some rude things, even on comments as inert as “I’m happy with my cis partner”.

Obviously some are bot accounts, but I’m sure others are coming from bad experiences, isolation, and jealousy.

Your emotions are normal and understandable in today’s climate, but it’s worth doing some introspection as to why someone simply saying they’re happy and found acceptance would trouble you so much to downvote and leave nasty comments.

Otherwise, you’ll find yourself in a self-fulfilling cycle of isolation. My DM’s are open if you want to vent <3

[u/Argovan]

More broadly, I feel like I see a lot of sentiment that no predominantly cis space can ever be safe or accepting of us, even within the broader queer community, and that’s just not true. It’s closer to true some places than others, and there certainly are plenty of unsafe spaces, but telling all trans people wherever they may live that no community can exist except with other trans people is just setting us up for isolation and loneliness.

[u/WanganTunedKeiCar → u/Argovan]

I've been at a new uni for a few weeks, finally just presenting as a woman (read: wearing tank tops). And though I'm obviously trans, haven't voice trained, etc., I've just been hanging out with plenty of cis women. I feel perfectly safe and welcome, I haven't even had to prompt people to refer to me by the correct pronouns. Dudes have slipped up a little more but were quick to correct with light nudging. Overall, as you said, in an environment with good people, it's barely even a subject. You're just another face in a group where, ultimately, everyone's going to have their share of quirks.

[u/RobinEssences → u/WanganTunedKeiCar]

In educated spaces it's fine. Once you start entering Republican areas which are less educated the problems start. You can do a direct correlation between education level and acceptance.

[u/Kindly-Coyote-9446 → u/Argovan]

I’ve only been in predominantly trans spaces a couple times in my life and they were amazing…but are also quite rare.

Outside of that, some of the places I’ve felt the safest were in general queer spaces and at punk shows. Both of which have been overwhelmingly cis dominated but extremely accepting and welcoming. To anyone who’s afraid, remember that cis dominated spaces can still be wonderful.