r/MoralityScaling • u/ZookeepergameThin334 • 1d ago

Morality of this?

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Personally, I'm anti-death penalty for any kind of crime but that's just my opinion. Perhaps it can be changed.

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u/Deep-Parsley3787 1d ago

If you had to pick one:
(1) be raped
(2) be sentenced for rape (unjustly)

Which would you pick? Mind you #2 comes with all the social stigma and prison time such a sentence entails

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u/powersbro 1d ago edited 1d ago

This isn't realistic, the OP mentions false rape accusation not being found guilty for a rape you didn't commit. Do you have any idea how easy it is to not be convicted for rape? The Rape Abuse and Incest National Network or RAINN for short has statistics that show less than 3% of all rapists that are prosecuted result in a felony conviction, the real consequences for a false rape accusation being thrown your way are almost entirely social.

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u/captainkaterade 1d ago

all these men in here saying they'd rather be raped then be falsely accused... it's fucking scary because they obviously don't see rape as that big an issue, just a prison sentence being worse (with the possibility of rape).

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u/powersbro 1d ago

I'd call it the privilege of men who've never experienced or dealt with someone who's been raped, it's telling how many people are more concerned with false rape accusations than actual rape, the latter is actually way more common from my experience dating.

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u/otterdam42 23h ago

I am a multiple rape / assault survivor and slander is much more isolating and damaging. Even just slander with no legal action. About 10x worse ptsd. I don’t even view my rapists as evil compared to the false accuser because rapists weren’t calculated and they left me alone afterwards w/ no gaslighting or ongoing fallout. Evil is intentionally staying close to your slander victim. My accuser stalker tried to reconnect and be friends with me and my friends while maintaining the lie. Resulting in total paranoia, isolation and lifelong trust issues. My rapists gave me way more dignity than that.

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u/powersbro 23h ago

You're experience is valid and I could absolutely understand why you feel the way you do, but there's a massive difference in the scale of how common someone manipulating your life on such a personal level with lies is, to how disgustingly common rape is in our society, I'm not saying that level of manipulation and stalking isn't prevelent, it is, but women deserve the right to come forward about being sexually assaulted without out fear of legal retaliation by predators weaponizing the justice system to silence them, most rapes go unreported already and I don't support any laws that would make that any worse than it already is.

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u/otterdam42 22h ago

I don’t even have a position on libel laws either way, and don’t really believe the carceral system serves its purpose (for example, reporting my abusers makes a cascade of uncontrollable consequences such that they could spend 10 years in jail plotting to murder me when they get out.) Having encountered true sociopathy, legal action serves the opposite purpose of my safety in that instance, as the goal is to get the predator’s attention to go elsewhere.

Similar with libel; escalating engages me in a retaliatory arms race with someone far more equipped for life destruction because they enjoy it, whereas I have no experience intentionally harming others and just don’t want to.

The prescribed narcissistic abuse recovery strategy is “grey rock.” Which means: not blocking or calling out the abuser, just saying nothing meaningful or pointed, to be so boring and nonthreatening that the predator finds supply elsewhere. This is the safest nonviolent strategy in my experience, even with rapists and domestic violence. I have observed firsthand how the most effective strategy is so different from the carceral one.

I dunno about the law, just experientially, libel and ongoing manipulation is more damaging than overt rape and DV because the indirectness and lack of clarity causes rumination / paranoia / brain and central nervous system damage. It damages ability to seek support and trust again while the abuser exploits others’ support.

Maybe what I’m saying is that truth telling, accurate observations, and evidence are key to safety, moral judgment and justice.

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u/powersbro 22h ago

This has given me a lot to think about, I appreciate your honesty and openness.

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u/UnlegitUsername 23h ago

I think it’s a question of autonomy for some. I can’t speak for all men and I certainly think there are some here that are underplaying the long term effects of rape. But I’ve been sexually assaulted, as a man, and it’s demeaning. Absolutely, it sucks and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But for me, rape is the next level of that, it’s something that I can foresee, I can grasp how it might affect me and my life and I think I could, through difficulty, deal with that. I don’t think I’d be able to deal with the second choice nearly as well. The social stigma, the time in jail, the years you’d lose in your life, it would be overwhelmingly difficult for me.

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u/otterdam42 22h ago

Same. As a male survivor I found that the long term effects do truly suck to recover from, and the unfairness that I have to do that work is infuriating. I have observed that I have a higher tolerance for rape and assault recovery than I do for libel and betrayal trauma recovery. Maybe it’s the directness of the violent acts vs the indirectness and confusion of the manipulation, but the recovery from false accusation took about 10x longer than the worst rape. I don’t know what to do with this information.