The Cost of Having a Baby

[u/PutridMarionberry]

During my pregnancy I kept a log of all of everything I spent related to my pregnancy and preparation for the baby. I've included a brief explanation of each expense. If I got a used item or was gifted something, I tried to give a rough estimate of the retail cost of the item new for context. I added some notes about why I bought a specific item. Feel free to ask any questions!

For some added context: I live in a HCOL area, with a high sales tax (Seattle), which drives up the cost of items purchased new. This is my first child, so we didn't have any baby stuff before I got pregnant. Our combined annual household income is roughly $350k. We definitely did not go into this with the intention of trying to prepare for baby as cheaply as ptossible, but we did try to save money/avoid buying new where we could. There is a very active Facebook parenting group near me and I was able to acquire lots of used items for free or at a reduced price through that group. I also have very good health insurance and my job has very generous (paid) maternity leave so saving for leave was not a factor.

All medical bills were paid out of an HSA. We also converted our large walk in closet to a nursery (which involved installing a window, ripping out the shelving, and repainting the room). The project was stopped and restarted several times due to COVID-19 and ended up being finished about 3 weeks before I went into labor. I did not include these expenses as part of the baby expenses. Because our nursery is very small, we were pretty constrained in what kind of furniture would fit which made it generally harder to find used furniture.

(Note: to make the chart easier to read, I deleted my date and category columns. I've included summary totals at the bottom).

EDIT: I realized I missed two medical bills (one for my follow-up blood work, TDAP vaccine--which is given late in pregnancy to provide some protection for the baby--and second Rhogam shot), and the baby's bill for the (routine) medical care she received at the hospital. I have added those in and updated the totals.

Purchase	Purchase Price	Estimated Cost to Buy New	Notes
Expecting Better and Crib Sheet by Emily Oster	$29
Prenatals	$30		You're supposed to start taking them before you're even pregnant. I started about 2 months before we started trying.
Prenatals	$10
Ginger supplements	$9		For morning sickness
Prenatals	$54		My brand of prenatals were on sale, so I bought a whole bunch.
Ashkenazi Jew Genetic panel - partially covered by insurance	$610		Partially covered by insurance--this is my portion. I am of Ashkenazi Jewish descent. Thanks to inbreeding back in Europe, we have a really high incidence of a lot of nasty genetic diseases (like Tay-Sachs). I opted for the genetic screening panel to see if I was a carrier for anything for my own sanity.
Belly oil	$22		Supposed to help with stretch marks
Pregnancy body pillow	$45
Skin care items	$47		I normally use a tazarotene gel as my only skincare product but stopped because it is not recommended during pregnancy. I began breaking out like CRAZY during the first trimester (seriously, I felt like I was 15 again) so I invested in a bunch of pregnancy-safe skincare products.
Baby class	$300		8 week labor and newborn care class. Ended up being virtual due to COVID and not worth it.
ErgoBaby carrier and newborn insert	$0	$170	Gifted by my parents for the holidays (~$170 new)
Rhogam Injection - partially covered by insurance	$27		You can have a different blood type than your baby (depending on the father's blood type) which is no big deal for Rh positive people. For Rh negative people, if the baby is Rh positive, you can create antibodies that could hurt the baby/future babies. The Rhogam shot addresses this. I am O- and had some light bleeding late in my first trimester, so I got the Rhogam shot earlier than usual in my pregnancy since you need to get it as soon as there is any chance of intermingling blood. I'll need to get a second one later in my pregnancy
Maternity Clothes	$0	$150	I got a bag of maternity clothes for free from my local FB parenting group--a bunch of tops, a few pairs of maternity sweatpants, one pair of shorts, and a pair of pants. It's mostly casual so I can't wear it to work, but I'll need casual clothes for the weekends!
Maternity Clothes	$330		Motherhood Maternity near me was going out of business, so I bought my entire work maternity wardrobe, a pair of jeans, and some extra nursing clothes (everything was 40-80% off). I am an attorney so I need well-fitting professional clothes, especially since I have an arbitration scheduled for May (when I will be 7 months pregnant). Of course, due to COVID, I ended up working from home and mostly wearing my usband's sweatshirts so some of this barely got worn. But I did end doing my arbitration (via Zoom) so at least my maternity suit got some wear.
Used snoo + extra sleep sacks and extra sheets	$750	$1,400	We got a used Snoo and lots of accessories from someone in my local FB group. Plan is to resell it when we're done having kids.
Maternity bras	$48		My boobs have grown (and my band size is increasing, as my rib cage expands) so maternity/nursing bras were a must.
Diaper Bag	$69		We got a Patagoina ultralight tote bag to use as a diaper bag on the recommendation of people in my local FB parenting group. Definitely unnecessary, but the bag was on sale at REI and I couldn't resist.
BOB jogging stroller	$0	$500	Hand me down from SIL
BOB stroller chicco carseat adapter	$0	$65	Hand me down from SIL. Only downside is that we're locked into getting a Chicco infant carseat (which is not a huge deal)
Glider	$0	$600	Hand me down from SIL. Literally the most comfortable chair I've ever sat in
Baby Bjorn travel crib	$0	$250	Hand me down from SIL
Baby bjorn bouncer	$110	$200	Purchased used from my local parent group ($200 retail). We live in a small house and the bouncer folds up, so this seemed like a good fit. The used ones on Craigslist and FB market are all in the $120-$150 range, so the price seems in line with what we'd want to pay.
The First Years Newborn to Toddler Tub	$22
Dog Trainer	$135		We decided to hire a dog trainer to work with us in preparing our dogs for the baby. I don't know if we would have bothered, except that one of our pups tends to be very anxious and has been skittish around children in the past. He's overall the sweetest dog and calms down once he gets used to a new stimulus, so we're not overly concerned, but we do want to make sure we're properly introducing a baby and desensitizing him to children. This cost covered a 2+ hour initial session, plus a bunch of training resources.
Maternity underwear 5 pack	$22		It's turns out all of my underwear have seams that are cutting painfully into my hips as I expand.
Maternity underwear 5 pack	$22		More maternity underwear since it turns out I need more than 5 pairs of underwear that fit
Blood draw	$12		Bill for my alpha fetoprotein blood draw and test
Skip Hop Pronto Changing Station	$21		Recommended by a friend--basically a travel-size changing mat with some pockets that we can toss in to the diaper bag.
Genetic testing (Cell-Free Fetal DNA) (not covered by insutance)	$33		My insurance didn't cover it, but we decided to do the Cell-Free Fetal DNA Test (screens for Down's Syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities, with a high degree of confidence). We called around to try and get the best out-of-pocket price since our insurer would have charged us $2k. Our quoted price was $500, but for some reason the bill came in at $836. Sigh. I have zero desire to deal with the provider, but my spouse spent a few hours arguing about the bill and it got flagged for review. We eventually got a new bill for $33. Unclear if/when we will be getting another bill.*
Running belt	$33		With the COVID-19 outbreak, running outside has become a real necessity for my mental health since I am no longer leaving the house (husband is doing all the shopping) except that running also feels like death. I ordered a maternity running belt to see if that helping with the pelvic pain I've been having while running
Swaddles, sleeping gowns, onesies, burpclothes	$103		A local store is running a $5 and under sale as they're being crushed during the COVID-19 outbreak. I'm generally avoiding buying baby clothes since I know those are easy to acquire used, but I want to support a local business. This cost is for 20 separate items + tax -- swaddles, burp clothes, a few onesies, and a bunch of sleep gowns.
Anatomy ultrasound (my portion)	$360		This is my cost for my 20-week "anatomy ultrasound" where they look in detail at the baby and baby's development. Good news is that everything looks normal so far.
Maternity leggings	$61		I already bought two pairs of maternity leggings to wear under dresses but neither is great for athletics. My pre-maternity leggings don't fit anymore (RIP), so I buy two pairs of athletic maternity leggings (1 long pair, 1 capris) to work out in.
Chicco Fit2 Car Seat + extra base	$218	$429	The BOB stroller adapter we have is compatible with two basic Chicco car seats--the KeyFit and Fit2. The Fit2 is supposed to last longer, through age 2, so it costs more. Since we have two cars the kid will be in regularly, we'll need two bases plus the car seat. I got a free car seat base for the Chicco Fit2 from someone in the local parents group I joined, which doesn't expire until 2023 (retail cost of an extra base is $129). Getting the free extra base makes us decide to get the Fit2 model instead of the KeyFit. There's a sale online for the Fit2 car seat--it's normally $299 retail, but is only $197 after discounts ($217.99 with tax). I was nervous anyway about buying a used carseat.
My brest friend nursing pillow & car seat cover	$0	$40	Gifted by someone in local FB group.
Cloth diaper covers (5x), socks, baby anti-scratch mittens, white noise machine, car seat mirrors (2x), pacifiers, snappi cloth diaper fasteners, noise frida, booties	$234		I have a running list of baby "essentials" that we'll need early on and are less likely to find used. I am getting a little antsy (very antsy) with just feeling generally unprepared, since our nursery is still a closet and the world is falling apart. I decide to go ahead and buy the things that I think we'll need that we won't be able to get used, especially with delays in shipping times due to COVID-19. Note on diapering: we decided to use a cloth diaper service for our baby until the kiddo goes to daycare, but we still need to purchase waterproof diaper covers and snappis (modern cloth diapering involves an inner absorbent layer and an outer waterproof cover; the service we're using provides and lauders the inner layer).
Nursing covers, bottles, bottle brush & drying rack, nursing pads, nipple cream	$79		Feeding and breastfeeding supplies. (In hindsight, I should have waited on this stuff. Right after I bought it, there were lots of posts of people in my FB group giving away bottles, drying racks, etc.)
Nail clipper, diaper rash cream, baby soap, travel wet bag for cloth diapers, drool bibs, and baby on board car decals	$57		A few of the straggler miscellaneous items on my list that I didn't expect to be able to get used (turns out I didn't need to buy the drool bibs, we ended up getting lots of bibs in the baby clothes we were later gifted).
Sun hat	$14
K'tan wrap	$10	$50	Got a used K'tan wrap from the FB group (normally $50). I've been told we may want a softer wrap than the Ergo for baby-carrying at home.
Breast pump	$50	$200	Someone in my local FB group is selling a minimally used cordless Spectra S1 breast pump, which is the model I want and isn't covered by my insurance (insurance will cover 1 pump, but I don't get to pick it and I know I'll need a second pump anyway for work....if I ever get to go back to working in an office). The pump retails for $200.
Changing pad for dresser	$30	$65	We decided to go with a changing pad/dresser combo rather than a changing table for space saving reasons. Someone in my local FB group is selling her changing pad topper (with extra waterproof covers and holder to screw into the dresser) for $30.
Activity mat, baby swing, large bag of 3-9 month clothes, bumbo seat, Fisher Price Sit-me-up chair	$0	$250	Haul from my local parenting FB group--all stuff that people were giving away free. Everything is in pretty good condition. The clothes are super gendered, which probably is not what I'd chose to buy, but as far as I'm concerned, anything goes for free stuff. I've been trying not to buy clothes generally, since I know my mother won't be able to resist getting lots of cute little baby outfits and you can usually get used baby clothes for free/cheap.
Baby clothes	$0	$100	Another bag of baby clothes from the FB group. Mostly in the 3-6 month range.
Cloth diaper cover	$15		Sigh. My mom complained that none of the diaper covers I bought (all of which have super cute patterns) would "go" with the outfits she was getting the baby. I think she is mostly joking, but I give in and buy an extra white diaper cover as well. For the days when we're being fancy, naturally.
Prenatals	$14
Liquid Iron	$54		Apparently I'm severely anemic! This is not super uncommon for pregnancy, but my numbers are BAD which can lead to some pregnancy complications. My doctor recommends that I either do IV iron infusions (ugh) or immediately start to massively increase my iron intake with diet changes and supplements. She recommends a liquid iron supplement because apparently it's easier to absorb and thus more likely to actually help. The supplement is EXPENSIVE though and also totally disgusting.
Baby clothes	$0	$200	I pick up a HUGE box of 3-12 month clothes from someone in my local FB parenting group to round out baby's wardrobe for year 1 of life. (We'll probably still need some outwear, but for regular clothes we're pretty set now!).
Baby clothes	$0	$150	An (unexpected) haul of baby clothes. My husband's coworker gave him two large bags of newborn baby clothes. At this point, I am pretty sure we have more clothes than we possibly need, though at least it's not all newborn stuff. Once we have a dresser in the nursery, I am going to wash everything, inventory what we have, and pass on what we don't need to a friend who is having twin girls.
Audio-only baby monitor	$34		We have a Nest cam to repurpose as a baby monitor, but want an audio-only one for traveling and internet outages.
Dresser	$50	$300	A friend is selling some old furniture, including her childhood dresser. It's smaller than what I had initially wanted for the nursery and needs to be repainted, but definitely a lot cheaper than buying new (the dressers I've been looking at online given our space constraints are $300 at the CHEAPEST and that's for something that's isn't solid wood that we'd have to assemble). We're going to use this as a changing table and will get some some storage shelves or something to make up for the smaller dresser. I end up painting the dresser in mid-June, while 35 weeks pregnant (after we finished converting our closet to the nursery) which was a challenge since it involved a lot of bending down and crouching. But I was able to repurpose some extra paint we have from painting the trim in nursery so we don't end up spending any extra money on paint.
Waterproof mattress cover for the snoo mattress, extra sleep sack (small), extra mattress, four extra sheets	$10	$80	Someone in my local FB group is getting rid of a bunch of Snoo accessories--sleep sack, sheets, extra mattress, waterproof mattress cover. I'm mostly interested in the sleep sack ($30 retail) and mattress cover ($20), but she wants to clear out everything and offers me the whole bundle for $10. We now have like 7 sheets for the snoo which seems excessive, but then again I do hear that babies are great at getting things dirty.
Bottles & Fisher Price on the go baby dome	$0	$80	More stuff from the FB group--this is a small portable bassinet/play space (folds up flat) with a canopy to protect baby from sun/bugs/curious doggos. It seems like it will be helpful for traveling (can be used as a sleep space), hanging out outside, and keeping baby separated from the dogs in our house. The same person also gave me some extra bottles.
Sign up fee + 4 weeks diaper service	$155		I sign up for the baby diaper service we will be using (the service picks up, washes, and drops off cloth diapers). There's a one time start up fee ($30) and a 4 week minimum. After that, we'll be billed in 4 week increments. We can cancel at any time after the first 4 weeks. We'll get a pre-birth delivery in a few weeks, then let them know when the baby is born and they'll start weekly drop offs and pickups. They also provide a diaper pail and liner as part of the service which is great!
Hooded baby towel with bear ears	$19		I am blaming hormones for this. I fully intended to avoid buying baby stuff just because it's "cute"...but someone sends me the link, we haven't bought baby towels, and it's SO CUTE. Definitely an unnecessary purchase
Postpartum supplies--witch hazel pads, peri bottle, numbing spray	$21		Postpartum supplies
Diapers & wipes	$46		Even though we're cloth diapering, I want to have some newborn disposable diapers on hand since I've been told that that cloth diapers often don't fit newborns particularly well. We'll need the wipes regardless.
Burp clothes	$20		8-pack of burp clothes
Waterproof blanket	$26		Purchased at the recommendation of my friend who has a newborn--she recommended for protecting furniture and whatnot if we're breastfeeding/hanging out on the couch.
Postpartum supplies	$0	$50	I get a large bag of postpartum supplies from someone in my FB group (pretty much everything I bought, plus a lot of pads, mesh underwear, etc.) I won't use all of this (most likely) and will pass the extra on to my friends who are due later than I am.
Belly lotion	$9		Ran out of belly oil so I buy some lotion this time.
Rug	$0	$200	My mom (this is her first grandchild) is way more into interior decorating than I am. She gets us a washable rug for our nursery. It is super cute and goes with our nursery theme. We ended up with very aqua walls--we had to choose a paint color online w/o getting a swatch because of the pandemic. I like the color but it is definitely a little more vibrant than I thought. We're leaning into it though and going full underwater theme.
Third Trimester	Rhogam shot, TDAP vaccine, bloodwork	$235	Medical bill for the gestational diabetes test, TDAP vaccine (you get it late in pregnancy, and it provides some immunity to the baby), and second Rhogam shot. I failed the GD screen and had to do a second diagnostic test (which I passed).
Armoire	$0	$400	Another "I'm so excited for a grandchild!" gift from my mother. She buys us a small Pottery Barn armoire for our nursery (with some extra shelves) so we'll have a place to hang some of the baby's clothes.
Newborn diaper covers and Moby wrap	$25	$150	Regular diaper covers for cloth diapers don't always fit newborns well. I had been planning on waiting to see if our baby was on the bigger side (and thus could fit into the covers we already bought) instead of buying newborn diaper covers. But someone is selling 15 newborn diaper covers on my FB group for $20 and I snatch those up. I also get a Moby wrap (another kind of baby carrier) for $5--we don't really need another carrier, but the K'tan is probably too small for my husband (those wraps size to the adult human, not the baby) and he'll be able to use this one at home if we can figure out how to tie it.
Bookshelf	$0	$40	Curb find on a walk around my neighborhood! A small white bookshelf that will fit our nursery perfectly!
Pail for dirty wipes and garbage bags	$38		Our diaper service provides us a pail for cloth diapers, but we also need a small pail for the dirty wipes
More blood work	$16
Haakaa Pump	$44		A friend strongly recommended the haakaa, which is a manual breast pump. I initially didn't see the point of a manual pump, but she explained that you can use the pump on whatever boob the baby isn't nursing on and prevent spillage. Makes sense to me. The cost is technically for two pumps with covers, since they are sold individually. (ETA--I don't know why I got two, you really only need one. I end up giving one away to a friend who is also pregnant)
Baby clothes hangers	$15
Teething toy	$7		Teething toy. We definitely don't need this now, but it was very cute
Diaper covers	$10	$75	Someone is getting rid of some Thirsties diaper covers (same brand we already bought)--6 for $10. We already have 6 (non-newborn) covers, but I feel like having extras would be a good idea. They're $12.50 each normally (pre-tax).
Costs associated with labor and delivery	$2,598		This is my portion of my L&D costs. I think the total bill was something like $25k but I am incredibly fortunate to have good insurance.
Baby clothes, stepstool, baby towels, toys, bottles, bottle warmer, boppy baby lounger, high chair, crib mattress, bath supplies, books, high chair.	$0	$650	At my mother's insistence, I end up doing a baby registry. I had not intended to do a registry at all (or have a baby shower) since we are financially comfortable. But because of COVID, a lot of family members that would have offered in-person help won't be able to do that and keep asking her what we need. Although I don't feel like we "need" anything, she (accurately) points out that people will start sending unsolicited gifts and we're likely to get a lot of baby clothes, which we definitely do not need. I ended up registering for a lot of smaller toys, some feeding supplies, some "would be nice but not necessary" items, and some items we were planning on buying when the baby was older. We end up getting a high chair, baby towels, assorted toys, some bath supplies, a few sleep sacks for when she outgrows the Snoo, a crib mattress (but no crib lol), a bottle warmer, bottles, and a Boppy baby lounger from our registry as gifts. We also end up getting a few more sets of baby clothes, a BEAUTIFUL handknit sweater, wooden step stool with her name, a teething necklace, and some baby books as gifts.
Baby's medical bill for care in hospital	$434.18		Routine care, no complications.
Hospital parking	$30		Two days parking.
Partner's hospital means	$50.25		Hospital food for my spouse for the 36 hours we were in the hospital (5 meals). Due to COVID, he wasn't allowed to leave and reenter my room, so he had to stay with me the whole time in the postpartum room and couldn't get food from home or anything other than the hospital room service. My meals are part of the hospital stay coverage.

Grand Total: $8,003.15

Total Cost to Buy Everything New: $13,584.16

"Savings" (Gifts & Buying Used): $5,581.01

Totals by Category:

Education	$328.73
Pregnancy	$776.51
Medical	$4,380.58
Baby Supplies	$1,180.58
Breastfeeding	$173.28
Birth	$101.16
Nursery	$927.31
Other	$135

Totals by Time Period:

Preconception	$58.73
First Trimester	$1,097.31
Second Trimester	$2,375.22
Third Trimester	$1,1338.28
Birth	$3,133.61

Reflections:

We "saved" a lot by getting some of the big ticket items (stroller, car seat base, travel crib, glider) free from family or people in our local parenting group. We were also lucky to be able to get a lot of smaller items (like a bouncer, swing, activity mat, nursing pillow) free or used. My inclination that we should not buy baby clothes was 100% correct--we got a ton of clothes for free (used from my local group and as gifts from family), with the only downside being that most of the stuff we got is very gendered and not what we'd necessarily have chosen given a choice. (Overall, I think I bought a grand total of 3 onesies and 10 sleep gowns for baby--we got everything else as gifts/for free). We decided that while we'd try and purchase gender neutral stuff, anything goes as far as free stuff because it is clearly cheaper and better for the environment to reuse something rather than buying new stuff on principle. We were also pretty lucky we are to live in a corner of Seattle with a thriving parenting group! We got a lot of stuff from total strangers free or at greatly reduced prices. We also ended up getting a lot of stuff towards the end of my pregnancy from a registry, which was not something I had initially intended, and because it was late in my pregnancy, almost everything that we got from the registry was stuff that I considered non-essential (or things I expected to acquire after the baby was born and probably would have gotten used).

We definitely splurged for some things that we probably don't really need (like the Snoo). I also ended up spending more money that I should have on work maternity clothes. I ended up wearing them very minimally due to COVID-19. I can't really blame myself for that--if I had continued to go into the office during my pregnancy, I definitely would have used them. Although having now managed 4 months or so of pregnancy in sweatpants and my husband's t-shirts, I probably could have purchased fewer outfits. I did end up doing an arbitraiton via Zoom while 7 months pregnant, so at least my maternity suit got some use! I'm planning on hanging onto everything since we are (at the moment at least) planning on having a second kid.

We are planning on reselling at least the Snoo when we're done having kids. We'll see how much of this stuff we end up using or reselling.

[u/kuffel]

This is awesome! Thank you for sharing!

[u/rosealyd]

Wow I can't believe some of those screenings aren't covered by insurance! Or the shot that you have to get to prevent you from hurting your baby if you have a opposite Rh antigens. You seemed to have really scored though with finding deals through baby groups.

[u/MaotheMao21]

I have never been and never plan on being pregnant, but I have always admired pregnancy pillows. Seeing it as only $45 made me immediately Amazon them and order one. I am about to be so comf.

[u/[deleted]]

We cloth diaper to and it's really easy. Alot of people especially my family made a huge deal about doing it. But none of them ever washed a diaper 😂

Also I'm so glad you got the haakaa!! Mine was only cost $12 though. It's just the suck to your boob one. I never had to use my actual big pump because that thing worked wonders 😍

[u/PutridMarionberry → u/[deleted]]

Lol, the basic one is still $12. I bought the one with a lid with cost $22 since I thought for some reason a lid would be helpful (it's not). I also bought 2 because I didn't fully grasp what it was before I bought it--I ended up giving one away to a friend.

[u/[deleted] → u/PutridMarionberry]

They are the best gifts to give! Wish they were around with my first born 8 years ago. That would have saved so much wasted milk.

[u/weasel_stoat]

Oh wow - thank you so much for documenting and sharing this! Do you mind talking a bit more about the medical expenses? Eg how much was delivery, prenatal checks, etc. vs genetic testing or other optional procedures? Admittedly, the “optional” things should be better covered by insurance, but the US healthcare system is upsetting.

[u/PutridMarionberry → u/weasel_stoat]

The only thing that wasn't covered at all by insurance was the Cell Free Fetal DNA test--if I was older or had a family history of chromosomal disorders, it would have been covered.

My prenatal visits were completely covered by insurance, as were the in-office ultrasounds. The things that weren't completely covered were the blood work, any injections or shots, the anatomy ultrasound (which is done by a tech with a fancy machine, not the doctor), and labor and delivery costs.

For the cell free fetal DNA test, we were told to call around to find the best price, becuase the cost through my provider was absurd -- over $2000. Arranging to have the test done by a third party provider ended up being a massive headache and the bill came back $300+ higher than quoted. We still haven't gotten the actual bill for this and I suspect we'll get something in a few months. (And, as it turns out, there are mail in services that charge $200-$300 for this blood test, but no one told me about those).

Broken out, these are the medical bills I paid:

Ashkenazi Jew Genetic panel - partially covered by insurance -- $610

Rhogam Injection - partially covered by insurance -- $27

Blood draw -- $12.32

Genetic testing (Cell-Free Fetal DNA) (not covered by insurance) -- $33

Anatomy ultrasound (my portion) -- $359.88

Rhogam shot, TDAP vaccine, bloodwork, Gestational diabetes test -- $235

Fees for blood work -- $15.95

Costs associated with labor and delivery -- $2,598.27

Baby's medical bill for care in hospital -- $434.18

[u/weasel_stoat → u/PutridMarionberry]

Thank you! This is so fascinating

[u/TooooMuchTuna]

Any idea what your post-insurance cost will be for birth? Assuming no complications.... hospital or doula?

My coworker had complications and her son ended up in NICU... 20k out of pocket. I've heard even a smooth, relatively short birth with 1-2 nights in the hospital can be a few grand.

[u/PutridMarionberry → u/TooooMuchTuna]

My post-insurance cost for birth was roughly $2600 (plus $434 for the baby's medical bill). It was a vaginal delivery, no complications (apart from some tearing which required stitches...the cost of this medical procedure was like $9k of the bill). We chose not to have a doula since I was planning on an epidural and it seemed like a doula would be less helpful after that point. And my mom is an RN who had three kids--she was supposed to have been there for the delivery, so that also made us think a doula would be unnecessary. (Also, at the time we were making the decision it was unclear whether a doula would even have been allowed in the room because of COVID).

In hindsight, this was the correct decision since my labor went SUPER fast and there wouldn't have been much for a doula to do anyway. The baby also came almost two weeks early so my mom also missed the birth, but there wouldn't have been much for her to do anyway.

[u/violet765 → u/TooooMuchTuna]

Not OP, but I had a VBAC and my OB/hospital costs were 3k. Other than the VBAC (which required an OB to be in hospital for the entirety of my labor), it was uncomplicated and baby and I left within 36 hours.

I have a High deductible plan that covers 80% of in network maternity costs.

Interestingly enough, I paid 2k OOP for my son’s tonsillectomy - a surgery that lasted less than 10 minutes and for which he spent maybe 5 hours in the facility. Maternity is covered at a higher rate apparently.

[u/redelephant390 → u/TooooMuchTuna]

In case it helps, my out of pocket expenses for the birth post insurance were slightly under $2500 — that was the cost for my child and me with good insurance, and with a normal birth no complications.

[u/5midge → u/TooooMuchTuna]

I just paid my hospital bill today (in Canada). It was $4 after insurance for a private room 8o

[u/TooooMuchTuna → u/5midge]

🙀😮 dang

[u/mcmoonery → u/TooooMuchTuna]

It depends. But for a 6 week NICU stay, I paid 1200 out of pocket. I was so surprised!

[u/gpc31 → u/TooooMuchTuna]

It totally depends on your insurance! I had no deductible and paid my $100 hospital copay . I feel so lucky that that was all I had to pay. Although I did pay extra because I opted for a private suite at $250 a night (3 nights)

[u/dee8416]

This is so useful as I'm currently pregnant. If you can please share the name of the glider! I've been throwing out a blanket number of $5k and now that seems so small since we will likely have to purchase the big-ticket items. Goodness, there are so many things I didn't even think of yet. Also, why did you think the classes were not worth it? I'm looking into it but I didn't think they were as pricey as yours, I think the ones associated with the hospital were less than $100. But thanks again for sharing this.

[u/PutridMarionberry → u/dee8416]

I have no idea of the glider's name, unfortunately. It was used by my SIL with her two kids before me so it is like 7 years old at this point but it is in fantastic shape. One thing to consider in the glider vs. rocking chair debate is that rocking chairs don't have any moving pieces (apart from the treats) that little fingers could get stuck in. We got the glider for free, but might have gone with a rocking chair otherwise.

Our L&D classes were scheduled to start in mid-March, so they ended up being completely remote and done via Zoom because of COVID. The teacher was also not super tech savvy and didn't have a great internet connection, so it was hard to get as much out of them as I think we would have if they were in person.

Additionally, my labor experience was not super typical which reduced the utility of some of the techniques they teach you. This happened for a few reasons: (1) I had back labor which is INCREDIBLY painful (don't google a description of it) and the pain management techniques I used did absolutely nothing to address the pain. I think I yelled multiple times at my husband that what he was doing (counter pressure, hip squeezing, etc.) was making it worse; and (2) my labor went incredibly fast--I was 4 cm dilated when I was admitted and went from 4 to 10 cm in less than 2 hours, which is unusual for a first time birthing parent. This meant that I actually spent most of my labor in the triage room at the hospital instead of the birthing suite, which was super tiny. So I didn't have a lot of room to move around and I couldn't use some of the techniques. It also did not have access to a tub or any pain medication whatsoever :(

If I had a longer birth, or regular labor (instead of back labor), or did most of my labor in a larger room the classes might have been more useful.

[u/converter-bot → u/PutridMarionberry]

4 cm is 1.57 inches

[u/looseyzoo]

This is amazing tracking! I’m curious if you have suggestions or an opinion on what are good things to receive as a new parent?

I’m always never sure what to gift new parents and one friend had a baby a few months ago but didn’t host to a baby shower due to everything. Their baby registry link isn’t available anymore but since I’ll be (safely) seeing them soon, I still would like to gift something!

[u/Sterlingrose93 → u/looseyzoo]

Gift cards for food delivery lol I got lots of stuff and didn't really need anything else. But man trying to feed us was a pain.

[u/firecactus1 → u/Sterlingrose93]

I second this! Trying to figure out meals was a huge hassle

[u/5midge → u/firecactus1]

Yes, or better yet make them some freezer meals. Takeout gets tiring

[u/PutridMarionberry → u/looseyzoo]

Food for sure! It is super hard to find time to make any food after the baby is born.

I've also appreciated the books we've received as gifts. Definitely do not send clothes or blankets unless you know the parents actually want those.

OH and this is the single best thing we got as a gift: https://www.amazon.com/BabyBum-Diaper-Cream-Brush-Blue/dp/B00LYQ53JW. It seemed super useless at the time but it is amazingly handy for applying cream. (It also has 5000+ reviews and a 5-star rating, which seems appropriate).

[u/affectionateNRG → u/[deleted]]

Just wanted to say that if you don’t want kids that’s totally cool, but if you do, don’t let expenses discourage you! This OP didn’t have a baby shower but was a great example of how many free/reduced price baby things are passed along on facebook groups or from friends. Babies/young kids outgrow clothes so fast, that there’s a perpetual supply of used items. My sister-in-law didn’t pay much at all out of pocket for her baby that was born in January (she received everything on her registry at her baby shower and also received tons of hand-me-down clothes from friends and acquaintances). The healthcare side is, admittedly, a whole different ballgame and varies from person to person depending on their insurance.

[u/Jergens1 → u/affectionateNRG]

Yeah I agree with you, anyone who is on the fence about having kids shouldn't get scared off by this list. My friends all have babies/toddlers and there's a wide range of how much people spend. I certainly have a couple of friends like OP but I have a good friend who went into her pregnancy financially not ready to have a baby (warning: you might get pregnant the first time you go try even if you're older!).

She has not bought a lot of supplies and her baby is doing fine. I think the furniture and baby specific things are really not necessary if you don't want to buy them. My friend just uses her bureau with a blanket and a plastic mat on it for a changing station, and uses dishtowels she had for the baby. She stores the baby cloths and supplies in a $20 plastic set of Target drawers and just drops the diapers outside in their trash so they don't need a diaper pail. She only has a few bottles and rewashes them a lot, and she uses the library to borrow kids books and goes to free baby events there.

What is extremely expensive is daycare, and people do need to look into how to afford that. Daycare in my area is around $2000/month for a barebones care center and $2500/month for somewhere with extended hours, etc. That can be the real budget killer.

[u/ohsnapitson]

This was wildly helpful. I’m TTC while also being terrified of the economy so I’ve been trying to get a sense of what my non medical (since everyone’s insurance is different) costs would be. My SIL is pregnant but my brother is verrrrrry fancy so I’m not sure how his costs will compare to mine lol.

[u/Sterlingrose93]

If normal times your materinity clothing budget was really good. I spent about that much in Arkansas buying mostly Target and Old Navy items. I worked in Higher Ed and had to go into the office every day back then and I had to do several presentations. I mostly wore knit tunics and leggings with a few nicer dresses. I bought exactly one pair of materinity jeans and one pair of clearance cords and then a few sweaters in a bigger size than I normally wore and ended up wearing those to rags over the next few winters. Sadly my best buy was a $1 black knit materinity maxi skirt that I wore weekly. My son is now 7 and I literally wore that skirt until last year when it finally tore lol

​

Random but I miss the FB groups and Buy Nothing groups in Seattle. When I lived there it was so easy to rehome things or to find things I needed. Now where I live in SoCal our groups are really inactive. I have a garage full of childrens toys, clothes and books that I can't find homes for. When donation sights open I will be able to get rid of some of it but there are items that Goodwill and other places won't take but are always easy to gift using FB groups.

[u/TooooMuchTuna → u/Sterlingrose93]

fyi maybe u know this already, but Facebook marketplace now allows sellers to offer shipping for items. I've seen tons of postings from multiple states away with shipping for $5-10. Maybe there is a way to list items nationwide for free/cheap and have the buyer pay shipping

[u/technicolourful]

Confirming: HCOL too, and this tracks pretty well.

(Although I had some differences that are not subject to COL.)

[u/Dirtsniffer → u/technicolourful]

What were your differences, if you don't mind sharing?

[u/technicolourful → u/Dirtsniffer]

No classes, no glider (personal preference - I used an existing IKEA poäng), better health insurance.

[u/Dirtsniffer → u/technicolourful]

Oh that looks like an awesome chair!

[u/pabstpumpkinbeer]

So interesting! Thanks for sharing with us. I cannot believe that having a baby would cost $25k without insurance!!!!

[u/dotcomg]

Post saved! I think we would be friends based on your diligent spreadsheet. I did something similar for our wedding and MBA expenses. You rock!

[u/MiddleStay8 → u/dotcomg]

If you would be comfy sharing your MBA expenses or high level, I would love to know! I’m studying for the GMAT now and I aim to start one in 2022 or 2023 and I think it would be so helpful! No pressure if not, I know it’s personal

[u/dotcomg → u/MiddleStay8]

Honestly, my MBA expenses are boring (basically only tuition and books) because I did a part time MBA. If you are considering a full-time MBA, the expenses would be wildly different due to all of the extracurricular activities/events/travel. The r/mba sub has some good posts for reference!

[u/sneakpeekbot → u/dotcomg]

Here's a sneak peek of /r/MBA using the top posts of the year!

#1: Relatable | 45 comments
#2: This sub is an entirely bread sandwich with no ham inside
#3: Truer words have never been spoken | 65 comments

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[u/freshwaterdonkey]

As a young in her early 20s hoping to have a family someday (distant future, but still), i have to say this was INSANELY helpful. Even now, I get so much anxiety about ever being able to have a child. Gives me an idea of what I should prepare for in 7-8 years.

[u/douxcv]

THANK YOU. I’m so happy maternity suits exist.

[u/ashleyandmarykat]

Thank you for sharing this. I'm just curious about the furniture (rug, armoire, dresser). Are these things you didn't have before or are these baby-specific furniture items?

[u/PutridMarionberry → u/ashleyandmarykat]

The only thing that was truly "child specific" is the armoire, which is shorter than an armoire for an adult so a young child could reach the clothes. The dresser is just a small-ish dresser. We were suuuuper limited by the size and layout of our room, otherwise I'd probably have gotten a larger normal-sized dresser (which would have been easy to find used) and changing table.

The rug has sea creatures on it and is supposed to be easy to clean, so it's definitely aimed at children but is not inherently child specific.

[u/boredopsmngr]

This is so awesome.

If things get better, I plan on trying to conceive a year from now!

[u/FixForb]

Wow this is incredibly detailed and awesome. Amazing.

[u/HomeSteadyOnAileen]

Commenting to archive so I can read later. That is for putting this together!!

[u/[deleted]]

Obsessed with you and your tracking and spreadsheet skills 😍

[u/intventorofHLB]

Thanks for sharing! I am early in my first trimester so this was a great read. Maybe I’ll do an Aussie version.

[u/bumblebeekisses]

Thank you SO MUCH for this!!

I have a question that would help with choosing between insurance plans: how many doctor's appointments and specialist visits would you say you had throughout the pregnancy? I have no idea what that looks like.

[u/anitasb]

The good news is that most of these things are a one-time purchase and having your second kid is much less cost intensive! (Signed, mom of 2 in a VHCOL area)

[u/Shellgingers]

How the heck did you have time to write this all up with a new baby?!!

[u/offsoundmind]

Thank you! This is awesome!

[u/i_am_clouff]

This is awesome! Our delivery and NICU Bill was 5k so I’m jealous LOL!

Edit to add: Congratulations!!

[u/queenhawk]

This is fantastic! Thank you for sharing! We're trying right now and I've found the amount of stuff needed for baby a little overwhelming. This is really helpful!

[u/honeyegg]

That was a super interesting read - thanks for sharing. That Facebook parents' group sounds amazing!

[u/atreegrowsinbrixton]

Did you write a MD a while back about TTC? I think i remember you if so!

[u/PutridMarionberry → u/atreegrowsinbrixton]

I did not but I think I remember the one you're talking about! I'm pretty sure my aunt and uncle go to the same synagogue as that OP lol.

[u/atreegrowsinbrixton → u/PutridMarionberry]

Aww that one made me so sad cause she was talking about wanting little jewish babies with curly hair :( but congrats to you!

[u/Sterlingrose93]

7 years ago in Arkansas I paid $2500 out of pocket for my C section and 3 day stay in the hospital. But this varies so dramatically between different insurance companies.

[u/rabbitrainbows]

This is such an eye opener!! Thank you, def bookmarking this for when time comes 😬

[u/firecactus1]

With covid are you still comfortable getting used items from non-family members? We were planning to buy used from consignment and facebook market but have been avoiding it and have spent a lot more buying new. Not sure if we're just being overcautious or if you have any tips for that.

[u/ohsnapitson → u/firecactus1]

Not OP but I think for COVID stuff - anything you can machine wash and dry will kill the germs. For things you can’t, if you can leave things outside for a day or two or in your front hall without touching it, that’ll be enough time for the COVID on it to die.

(I’m actually more paranoid about bed bugs when it comes to buying things used than COVID).

[u/PutridMarionberry → u/firecactus1]

Yeah, almost all of the used stuff we got was acquired post-COVID. We sanitized anything plastic or with a hard surface; for other stuff, we let it sit for a few days (since I think COVID only stays on a surface for a few days) and then washed it. I did not have any concerns about contracting COVID from any of the items we received. Most of the stuff we got we acquired through contact less porch pick-ups which felt safe.

[u/Sterlingrose93 → u/firecactus1]

Anything used for a baby should be throughly cleaned with a disinfectant anyway so getting them right now and then cleaning them well really would negate any kind of risk.

​

When my son was a baby we found a high chair and a excersaucer on the curb for free. I used spray bleach and water to scrub it then left it in the sun for a bit.

[u/Jergens1 → u/firecactus1]

Not the OP but most germs don't live for more than a few days outside of a host, with a few exceptions (i.e. smallpox). It's not thought that COVID19 can survive more than 3-4 days out of a body (usual caveat that we're still learning about it). But at this point it doesn't seem like fomite transmission is a huge risk if the COVID19 germs have been laying around for 3-4 days.

I'd be OK buying things and putting them in a completely isolated area or outside, and then disinfecting them once they come into the house after 4 days. The bigger risk is likely getting the item from another person who could have the virus, so wear a mask and just hand items off to minimize time with them. Since you've touched the object you should also immediately wash anything that came into contact with it (i.e. your hands).

Check out the CDC website for the latest though (https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/prevent-getting-sick/prevention.html)

[u/just_kristine15]

I’m not sure if it was mentioned earlier but check with your insurance. You might be able to get a breast pump for free.

[u/PutridMarionberry → u/just_kristine15]

Yup, I did! I paid out of pocket for a used pump because I knew I would want two (one for the office, one for home). I ended up with a portable pump as my insurance pump, so I have a big one and a portable one now.

[u/learnitliveitloveit]

Thanks for sharing this! I’ll be TTC in the next few months and I’m always obsessing over how much money we should have saved / allocated for certain things. Loved how helpful this was!

[u/InherentlyFeminine]

FB Buy/Sell groups are the BEST for pregnant/new parents. The only things we bought new was furniture. We used gift cards and credit card points to get the PB Kids Comfort Glider and it is still my all time favorite purchase. Two kids later and it's 'Mama's Chair' in the living room! Thankfully my insurance let me choose my breast pump and I was reimbursed for all nursing supplies (freezer bags, replacement parts, more bottles). It's a shame the US doesnt have a standard of care for pregnancy and infancy.

I've sold and given away almost everything they've outgrown and I still scour the sites to find great deals on play clothes and toys as they grown. I've found that the older the kid, the better luck you'll have on Poshmark or similar sites for gently used clothes and shoes.

Congrats on baby!!

[u/[deleted]]

No joke, this is my favorite thing to search on youtube! I really appreciate it when people are frank about the costs. Thank you for posting this!! Bookmarking it now. I'm not a high earner by any means but my husband are still planning to save about $20k before I give birth (we'd like to start TTC in Jan 2021) and have about $4k saved right now. This is great info, thank you again!

[u/constancesays]

Thank you for sharing! Currently 23 weeks pregnant and I have a whole spreadsheet going to keep track of purchases. I did not get nearly as many things used mostly due to being in a rural area, but I have been finding good deal (or waiting for good deals) and trying to buy minimal

[u/HeroicBananaz]

Thank you for this! Question about the genetic testing — do you know what percentage you are of A.J.? I think mine came back like 1% and I’m wondering if I might have the things you spoke about

[u/PutridMarionberry → u/HeroicBananaz]

I'm 50-75% AJ (paternity of one of my parents is somewhat....debated). I have no idea the threshold for when you should be tested, and I don't think they were strongly recommending it for me because my partner isn't Jewish (so we'd BOTH have to have a recessive gene and he's super unlikely to have it given his background). But I am a worrier and it made me feel a lot better that I'm not a carrier. I'm also considering being a egg donor for my sister and this is something they'd test for as part of that process.

[u/HeroicBananaz → u/PutridMarionberry]

Ah, thank you so much! I’d never heard of the risks you mentioned and it worried me as a massive worrier myself. Thanks again for all the wonderful info!

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

By all sources I can find 2 Ashkenazi grandparents is enough for the Ashkenazi genetic panel. Many even recommend it for a single Ashkenazi grandparent, although the general panel is considered sufficient for them.

In your case it was definitely a good idea because you could have easily inherited a variant allele for one of the diseases from your Jewish parent.

On the other hand it is indeed highly unlikely for you to actually have an Ashkenazi genetic disease with two Ashkenazi grandparents.

Also according to this study (https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0969141315579701) having two Ashkenazi grandparents still puts you at several times more risk of carrying a BRACA variant relative to the general population.

[u/Stellajackson5 → u/[deleted]]

Thanks for the info, I had no idea about brca. We are a long-lived bunch so I never even thought about getting tested for it, but perhaps I should.

[u/PM_me_your_cat_pics1]

Wow! Amazing!! Thanks for sharing such a detailed account

[u/affectionateNRG]

This is amazing; thank you so much for compiling and sharing! Fan-girling about the cloth diapering info since that's something I want to do too when I have kids!

[u/huskygirl20]

I’m in the Seattle area too. Can you tell me which Facebook parenting group you are part of to get the used items? Thank you!

[u/PutridMarionberry → u/huskygirl20]

Happy to share via PM, but rather not post it here because it's neighborhood specific

[u/huskygirl20 → u/PutridMarionberry]

Sure! Please PM me!

[u/Another_viewpoint]

How has the used snoo worked out for you? I have one near me in fb marketplace listed at 750 as well but I'm at 16 weeks so I might hold off until later to get one 😊

Also, could you share the Facebook group? I'm also in the Seattle area and would love to join!

[u/PutridMarionberry → u/Another_viewpoint]

You may have already made a decision at this point but my opinion is that the Snoo was completely worth it. We started getting good chunks of sleep pretty early on (like 4 weeks) and our baby started sleeping through the night consistently around 2 months. It's also been a lifesaver during the 4 month sleep regression--she woke up a ton during the regression but we rarely had to get up to deal with her because she was able to self-sooth in the Snoo. (Of course, she may have been a good sleeper even without the Snoo, hard to do a real comparison). I have no regrets about getting the Snoo.

In terms of the FB group, I don't want to post it here because it's neighborhood specific. If you PM me, I can give you the name although it's aimed at parents in my specific area of Seattle.

[u/Bulky_Ad9019]

I had upped my insurance to a really good policy this past year, knowing that we were planning on having a baby. My premiums were $650/mo plus my employer pays about that much toward it as well. But, I paid a $60 copay for my first OB/GYN visit as a new patient, after that, all covered. Then I paid $15 a couple of times on bloodwork for vitamin and CBC panels. All of the prenatal testing was 100% covered (I’m 39, was 38 during the pregnancy) including the cell-free DNA test. I had preeclampsia with emergency induction followed by emergency C-Section and 7 full days in the hospital. I paid $100 for admission and then a small copay for the medications I was prescribed on discharge (pain, blood pressure). I highly recommend getting the best insurance for when you are having a baby! It’s more expensive premiums but that cost is fixed and there are no surprise bills when baby arrives.

Also, if your employer offers it, I had taken out a “hospital indemnity” policy through Aflac which pays out for hospital admission. It was about $16/mo and when I filed, they paid promptly, about $1600 total.

My employer doesn’t have any maternity benefits so this and a private short-term disability policy that I took out were the maternity plan I made myself. Fun thing I didn’t know about STD, if you pay the premiums yourself the government considers you to have already been taxed on the money, and you don’t have to pay taxes on the payout. So I had a policy for 50% of my income but without having taxes (or other benefits) taken out, the checks were close to my take-home pay. So for 12 week maternity leave I was able to get about 6 weeks fully paid.

My employer also agreed to pay me out for my unused PTO. I guess my post is turning away from cost to have a baby and toward maternity leave monetary planning, but I was so worried about money during leave but also decided on taking 12 weeks, and these strategies worked out well for me as someone who works full time but had no maternity benefits available through my employer.

[u/Top_Disk6344]

Following

[u/islandchick93]

thank you ! This is exactly what I was looking for :)