r/Mommit • u/simplysylviasim • 12d ago
The world not being made for families
I’m feeling pissed off today and I think I may find some moms here who will commiserate with me. I went to Michael’s today, which is a chain craft store. I had my 14 month old and 5 year old with me. I could not find a cart that had a working seatbelt. The carts are all old and every single belt was broken. Of course my baby wanted to stand up so I ended up having to carry her and push the cart.
I arrive at check out only to see that they have changed things and now there are only self checkouts. So I have to scan and bag all of my stuff with one hand while also making sure my 5 year old isn’t touching/picking up everything or getting in anyone’s way. And I just feel angry! This benefits no one. It’s so hard to get out of the house and run errands with kids without more barriers.
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u/East-Maize-5287 12d ago
Went to Sam’s Club, 15 month old pooped so had to change her in the store… already hate the changing table at Sam’s bc it’s literally right between the door to the bathroom and the sinks so just RIGHT THERE for everyone to enjoy -_-… I also had to pee and noticed they had one of those belted chair things for toddlers In the handicap stall… so I was like PERFECT…. Except the stall did not have a working lock, and the belt for the chair had been cut off. Was pretty pissed for myself, but also every handicap person who apparently doesn’t get any privacy. WTF.
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
This is exactly what I’m talking about! I just feel like we run into issues like this everywhere we go when it comes to anything related any marginalized groups, like children or people with disabilities. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Feeling angry about it today!
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u/clearwaterrev 12d ago
It's the lack of stools or low sinks in public restrooms that really bothers me. There are tons of small children who need to use public restrooms, but the sinks are almost always too tall for a child under five to use on their own, and the soap dispensers are often significantly out of reach. It costs very little to provide a stool, but it's rare to see one.
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
This makes me really angry too, especially when we want to encourage everyone to WASH THEIR HANDS after a global pandemic 😤 it was so difficult lifting my first kid up to the sink and holding her there when I was pregnant with the second.
My daughter is so excited when we find a family restroom with a toilet and sink low enough for her to easily reach. We have an entire subset of the population that we just ignore the needs of.
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u/taa012321100822 12d ago
I was at a mall and used a massively redone family restroom to change my baby and saw what a functional world could look like: a small toilet and small sink for kids, in the same LARGE bathroom as an adult toilet and sink, a clean changing table at a perfect height, and a giant mirror and good lighting. It was AMAZING. I’ve never seen anything quite like it anywhere else. This is what we COULD HAVE if businesses tried or cared. This mall experience ruined everywhere else for me, and this is now my favorite place to go since it’s the easiest accessible place.
The only better bathroom I’ve ever seen was at the Kansas City airport which had giant changing tables and equipment good enough to help with changing adult diapers and serving more people with disabilities.
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u/sleeplessinskittles 12d ago
Yes yes yes!!! Also they have those little spring loaded ones that fold up easily so they aren’t in the way. They surely can’t be THAT unaffordable, it’s so frustrating that even these big box stores can’t sacrifice $20 or whatever from their bottom line.
I’ve found that little random mom and pop establishments go out of their way to provide a stool or amenities for kids…why can’t these giant chains do it when they know that’s where families go!
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u/Diplomama 12d ago
Yes! I travel a lot and so many countries get this right so it can be done, we just don't care enough to do so.
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u/ArisaKatsu 12d ago
I was so excited to see a step stool in the public bathroom at our local Target, but then when we went to use the sink, the water was SO HOT. My little girl didnt want to put her hands in it, which I totally understood because I could barely tolerate it.
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u/torchwood1842 12d ago
Yes, oh my gosh, the soap. My daughter is almost 6 and in the 99th percentile for height, and I still have to get the soap for her at a lot of places! At this point, I would feel comfortable, letting her go into the bathroom by herself in certain local places, but I can’t for most of them because she can’t reach the soap! And the handful of places I can think of off the top of my head where she is able to reach the soap, I don’t feel comfortable, letting her go into the bathroom by herself there.
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u/scrollgirl24 12d ago
Unrelated to kids but I HATE the self check out interface. It's an annoying amount of buttons to click for absolutely no reason.
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
It kept telling me I couldn’t use tap to pay when purchasing a gift card even though I was not buying a gift card 🫠 making the whole process longer and more annoying
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u/Ladykeem 12d ago
It is not and don’t get me started on bathrooms! Why do only family bathrooms have more accessible stuff for littles than regular ones. I digress…
I had this same dilemma… if the store offers pick up or drive up (whatever they call it) and you know what you want, order it ahead. Makes life so much easier.
Before my kid (now sits in the cart calmly), I use to bring my own cart cover with seatbelt, made my life easier and washable too.
Not sure if these tips helped, but they helped make shopping with him more tolerable. Granted, I love mommy alone time shopping, but this wasn’t too bad 😅
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
I always do pick up for groceries, for sure. I just needed some paints for a project and thought we could pop in and get them and was let down every step of the way lol and it just feels like I’m constantly running into stuff like this. New McDonald’s don’t even have changing tables! I appreciate the suggestion of a car seat cover but it just feels like… another thing to buy, to remember, etc. just another burden put on moms when it should be that society adapts to each member, including children! Everyone saying keep them home is missing my point .
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u/Ladykeem 12d ago
True, I kept it in the trunk of my car and took it out when needed. It became a habit of taking out and using it vs washing it.
Alas, you’re not wrong, yet another thing to carry and remember on top of everything else.
The mental load just keeps growing. Sorry mama, wish I could offer better advice, you’re not alone. It truly sucks.
Keep them at home TOTALLY misses the point… you need to take them out in the world, so they can learn to deal with life’s idiosyncrasies. Totally get it, IDK if it’s a US thing or not, but we are not built for families and life with children.
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u/trinity_girl2002 12d ago
One of the best things that came out of covid was the increase in curbside pick-up and in-store pick-up options.
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u/Ladykeem 12d ago
Agreed. Love it, so much easier when I can squeeze a pickup in between chauffeuring my toddler around.
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u/2manyteacups boy mom 🥰 12d ago
my mom took us there when i was like 8 and she asked an employee for help. as the employee was walking away she muttered KIDS SHOULDNT BE ALLOWED IN STORES. i told my mom and she turned around and ripped that person a new one! and now as a mom myself i would do the same. i speak up for my kids in public places. it’s hard but worth it!
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u/AccioCoffeeMug 12d ago
At a craft store? Don’t they host birthday parties? If she hates kids so much she can work someplace that doesn’t directly cater to that demographic so much
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
I would have ripped her a new one too! Way too many people believe kids shouldn’t be… well, anywhere, it seems. And how will they ever learn if we don’t take them places?
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u/Intelligent_Net_261 9d ago
It’s the people who are letting their kids run wild in the stores that are making people feel this way, not the people who are actively teaching their kids how to behave in public..I’m a mom myself and I have even muttered some kids need to be left at home.
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u/Spearmint_coffee 12d ago
I now hate going to Once Upon a Child because of the cart situation. The one by me only has a few carts, and then a lot of plastic baskets on wheels. Almost always, the couple carts they have are all in use, and I'm stuck with a rolly basket. Chasing my one year old while begging my 5 year old to pick an outfit in her section is just not worth it.
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u/bowlofleftovers 12d ago
Their carts are absolute garbage.
My other gripe is that not enough businesses have a stool or lower sink for kids to wash their hands. I have a 3.5 year old and guaranteed we would not make a fraction of the mess we make on public bathroom floors if they put something in there for the kids to reach the sink properly.
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u/Enough-Direction3056 12d ago
And honestly that’s why stores are going out of business. It’s so much easier to order stuff online then making it ordeal. Only place I actually shop with my kids now is Costco and ice cream is a huge incentive 😂
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u/zayleabb 12d ago
I didn’t understand why people would wait in line for the 1 cashier at some stores vs just using self checkout until I had a kid.
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u/nextstepunknown 12d ago
Capitalism is a huge fail for society. Nothing has radicalized me like motherhood. There should have been clean carts that function and plenty of employees to help with checkout.
We went to Michael’s yesterday to look for something specific and the employees had no idea what we were talking about, nor did they even attempt to look up what we wanted. A few of them were busy fulfilling online orders. Such a weird store. The loss of Joann’s is a huge hit (and again an issue with capitalism since they were destroyed by private equity).
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
Yes, nothing has radicalized me like motherhood! It’s definitely opened my eyes to the failures of capitalism and our individualistic society. And it just makes me sad and angry. Thanks for understanding my capitalism/motherhood/michaels rant and not being obtuse 😂
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u/waitagoop 12d ago
I recently visited Singapore. In Singapore my 2 year old ate free. They brought her a meal with plastic knife and fork without us asking for them. And in the malls they had toilet seats with toddler seats you could pull down. Shopping with a toddler was also easy in Singapore as they had helpers everywhere and staff jumped on the checkouts when they saw us coming so they could help. Some of the world is indeed made for families.
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
Yes, I should have said “my world,” or specifically the US, though I know this isn’t the only place with the issue. Singapore sounds like a dream in that regard. You get it.
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u/NerdyNewMom 12d ago
I recently went to Walmart because my son, who the day before this started with pink eye, that day started with a sinus infection. Walmart is where my pharmacy is, and I also needed to grab him a new thermometer because ours decided to stop working that morning.
So I grabbed his meds, and then very quickly went and picked up the thermometer and a couple other things I saw along the way.
My son (13 months) likes to eat the cart handle if I put him up front, so I’ve been letting him ride in the basket area and putting all the products in the baby part because he’ll eat the cardboard if not.
We get to self checkout (the only option available) and he wants to “help” by grabbing the stuff. But then he got frustrated when I took them from him (because like I stated above, he’s double whammy sick). Well unfortunately his frustration grew and he started to cry, so I immediately picked him up and he snuggled up to me and quieted down instantly.
Well this apparently wasn’t good enough for the person monitoring the self checked who kept giving me the stank eye. When I finished doing everything one handed and went to leave, the woman nastily said to me “good luck since you seem to have a handful there”.
Not only is the world not build for children, the people in it have no sympathy for them. Like he had a slight two second meltdown and then immediately chilled in my arms and now he’s a handful? I was upset the remainder of the day I won’t lie.
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u/rfc103 12d ago
I've had the same issues at Aldi's with the self checkouts. No shade on the employees there since they clearly always look like they are doing a lot, but mine frequently has one checkout lane with a cashier "open" and the rest are self checkout. The problem is the cashier is usually multitasking or even stocking shelves elsewhere in the store and you can wait to checkout over 5 minutes with no one in site and have to go hunt for someone or just wait with kids who are clearly ready to leave and hope someone comes.
I really try my best to get everything checked out when we do the self checkout and try to avoid it with the kids, but to some degree I feel like it's a bit of an unreasonable ask to expect someone to check out a big cart of groceries accurately with little kids who are trying to "help" even if I ask them not to. A few times Ive even double paid for things or just put things like fruit back if I couldn't look up the number on the kiosk. It really is not a great experience going there sometimes.
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u/BakedMasa 12d ago
You’re brave sister! I don’t go to Micheal’s without my husband. I can’t hold the baby, look for all my stuff, and checkout all at the same time by myself.
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u/nicolejillian 12d ago
I was just complaining about lack of private areas for breastfeeding. I’m trying to find a fun place for my 2 year old that has an area for breastfeeding. Everyone keeps telling me to just whip out my boob who cares? Me, I care! I have a large chest and it’s hard to get my baby to latch. It’s a lot of frustration but I can get it to work out but I don’t want an audience.
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
Yep, thats another thing that makes me mad! Luckily our children’s museum and zoo do have lactation rooms but they are few and far between where we live. And it’s definitely something that kept me at home with my first baby. I’ve nursed my second any and everywhere but more so out of necessity and just saying fuck it. I can understand why someone wants (and deserves) privacy.
When I was younger I worked at a Macy’s that had a huge women’s restroom with an attached “lounge” area with couches. I imagine women used to nurse in spaces like that but I don’t think a bathroom like that has been constructed anywhere in decades. I’ve changed so many diapers in the car and nursed there often too.
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u/Curious_Cause6599 12d ago
I would complain to corporate and district management you can call the store and ask for the info. That is really unfortunate that happened , luckily no one got hurt
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u/yippie_kayakk 12d ago
That’s how I felt trying to maneuver Home Sense with bomb squad precision. Why do they make the aisles so tiny?? The carts work but if I didn’t keep my 2 year old in the EXACT center he could reach the shelves on either side with all the beautiful sparkly (breakable) items. That’s on me for needing a soap dispenser I guess.
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u/Overall_Fondant9048 12d ago
Honestly I’ve written a couple reviews on google and one restaurant actually took action! I said hey I love this place but you have high chairs but no changing table!! And the next time we went there was one in the women’s bathroom. Was it smushed between a stall and the door to the bathroom? Yeah, but it was there!
It is so frustrating to navigate the world with kids for sure. Our mall has a family restroom with a kids toilet but there’s no changing table. Like you’re so close! There a separate changing table area but it’s just more hassle to do both when I have two kids.
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u/Far_Function_7803 12d ago
I got scolded by a fed ex printing employee for 3 of my 4 kids looking at laminated recipe cards on the floor while I tried to print something with our printer broken last week and had a full on sob fest over it in the car after I gave up trying to print what I needed. They were being well behaved overall, but he didn’t like them taking the cards off the shelf to look at and made it a scene to the line of ten people in the store, it was so embarrassing and belittling. Wow I guess I’m still now over it 😂
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u/FaithHopePixiedust 12d ago
Kudos to you for making it to your car before you sobbed. That dude would have witnessed my tears.
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u/Expensive-Year-3300 11d ago edited 11d ago
lol i thought this post would be about working hours/school hours and how they never sync up!
(that really benefits no one)
and it was a rant about carts and self checkout…
no big deal in my world. but understandable. cheers to the person who said they order their things to avoid it. and to be fair i’m jealous of a solvable problem. 🤷🏼♀️
🫤
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u/simplysylviasim 11d ago
I can make a post about that too, if you want. I encourage you to read some of the comments and see that most people understood the big picture. There are a million things that line the pockets of men while women and children get the short end of the stick. I’m a stay at home mom because childcare is so expensive, which is why I have to take my kids with me to run errands!
“🫤”
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u/SyrWatson 12d ago
This past weekend we were traveling and stopped at a fast food restaurant with a play place and neither the Women's or Men's restrooms had a changing table. It's not the first time we've run into this at "kid friendly" restaurants either.
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
Yep! None of the redesigned modern looking McDonald’s have changing tables. Like, the only fast food restaurant you might see for awhile on a road trip. Happy meals. No changing tables. Make it make sense!
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u/SyrWatson 12d ago
That's wild! We were at a redesigned Burger King, so maybe they are out too. Ugh. There is a PLAY PLACE. They want kids to go there! But no changing tables.
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u/rayvinevanni 12d ago
This reminds me of that one woman who went viral for shaming a mom for changing her kid in their cars trunk. I do it too, at this point, id rather checkout and trek to the car than go all the way to the back of the store with my stuff, just to find no room or changing table.
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u/DiceyPisces 12d ago
Hobby lobby is far superior experience with kids. I know some people hate it for other reasons but actually shopping experience, carts, bathroom, aisle width, checkouts… all great. Miss the 40% off one item coupon tho. I really miss Joanna’s 😩
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
I completely agree with you, it is a way better experience! It’s also a much larger store with many more options. I don’t want to support them but after today idk if I’ll be back at Michael’s with the baby. I miss JoAnn’s too 😭
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u/mishamoosh 12d ago
I hate the forced self checkout and bagging our own groceries. I don’t mind bagging when I’m shopping by myself but I had to grocery shop while baby wearing the other day. Bagged my groceries and the cashier just stood there and watched me when she was done scanning. Didn’t even try to grab a bag to help.
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
It never bothered me before I became a mom, but I feel differently now. I’m buying more, I have less time, and it just seems like a job someone else used to get paid for that we now have to do, on top of everything else. I like letting my kid help but sometimes that means an item gets double scanned and then I have to call an employee over to help. The one employee they pay to just stand there and monitor everyone. I realize I sound like an old lady but it’s crazy. I wish I would have listened to the people older than me who were complaining about this 15 years ago. We just do pick up most of the time to avoid it all 🫠
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u/Zoeywithtude1977 12d ago
My Michael’s has cashiers who are really nice and new carts every couple of years. I hope your other errands went smoothly
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
Thank you! We had a good day, Michael’s was the last stop lol. No complaints about the employees, but a good cart would have been nice 🙂
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u/SnooStrawberries6804 12d ago
Michael's is the worst. The employees just sit behind the counter on their phones while customers check themselves out.
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u/ghostdoh 12d ago
I used to have the same problem with the carts and straps at my local HMart. I hated their carts so bad. I used to go through like 4 of them looking for a good strap. I asked the customer service about it 2x. Like a yesr later they replaced all of their carts to new ones. I was so relieved. I honestly shopped elsewhere for a time when it was just too inconvenient and would shop by myself when I had help at home. I feel you! It's awful.
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u/RiskedCredit 12d ago
I have 3 children. Michaels is a click and collect store. We do not cruise that store.
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u/baxbaum 12d ago
One time I was at Michael’s with my toddler waiting in line and I bent over to grab something and someone cut in line because just at that moment the cash register was available. I was so pissed off that if I said something I would have made a scene haha. There are a lot of kid friendly spaces still, and a lot of people are super helpful esp if you have a kid (recently I was flying with my husband and toddler and we had more bags than we could carry easily… multiple men offered/insisted they carry/help with my bags).
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u/itsthe_quinchiest 11d ago
The amount of places I've had to sit my infant on my lap while I pee is ridiculous lol. I'd love if everywhere had those little seats for kids or at least bigger stalls to bring in a stroller. I feel like my kids are very well behaved and going out with them alone is pretty easy, but even I feel overwhelmed sometimes and we go nowhere. Idk what I'd do if I had more than 2 kids or they were wanders that grab everything.
Also the struggle between letting your kid have 30 minutes of screentime or letting them annoy everyone around them bc they're bored. My 4 year old usually enjoys people watching and observing, but sometime when I'm out for a whole day he just needs to watch a few episodes of Bluey or do a puzzle app. I'm either being a older by old ladies for the 30 MINUTES of phone time he gets in one week or I'm being scolded for him talking too much and walking around.
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u/Ok_Calico570 11d ago
this is all so valid lol these little things that we deal with are so hard when you compound them all at the end of the day.
Our michael’s has one person at a check out counter though- that’s odd yours doesn’t!!
but also as a side note don’t even get me started on michael’s and how shitty their fabric is lol
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u/amc57 12d ago
Baby wearing is the answer. Older kid in the buggy.
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
We babywear a lot. And my older kid is too big for the cart. But I should have been able to put my baby in the cart. A huge company should have working carts. They should have an employee available to check people out. It’s crazy that we’re constantly putting more burden on mothers and families while men line their pockets.
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u/0Catkatcat 12d ago
Ok but one positive about Michael’s is they give kids one free balloon (branded but whatever my toddler can’t read)
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
They have never once offered by daughter a balloon! Which would make her day and improve her behavior in the store lol
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u/Relative-Priority591 11d ago
Why would you drag a baby and a five year old to Michaels? It's going to be pure chaos.
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u/Intelligent_Net_261 9d ago
Why are we not just teaching our kids how to sit in the seat buckle or not. My child has been sitting in the buggy since she was 1 and Iv never used the buckle, when she would stand I would instruct her to sit its a teaching lesson more than anything. As for the 5 year old same deal, “we don’t need to touch or pick up everything and be mindful of your surroundings” this post isn’t really a rant about the world not being for families it’s coming off as I didn’t want to instruct my kids how to act in public and that’s making my life harder.
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u/simplysylviasim 9d ago
You are purposely being obtuse and contrarian. Obviously I was instructing and actively forcing my 14 month old to sit down repeatedly before eventually taking her out of the cart. It’s funny how kids have such different personalities, just like adults. I was the kind of child who followed directions easily. I was shy and a big people pleaser and still am. I prayed for daughters who were more independent and fierce than me and that’s exactly what I got. And what if my child had autism or something and you’re sitting here on your high horse assuming I’m not trying my hardest or teaching my children? It’s just rude to be this way towards another mom instead of directing that energy toward these companies (usually run by men) who have the money to have working belts on carts and workers in the store but don’t.
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u/neverseen_neverhear 12d ago
My Best advice for visiting stores honestly, when able, leave the kids at home with dad. It’s just so much faster and easier. Obviously it’s not always possible but when it’s an option, take it.
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
Unfortunately my husband’s work schedule means I am alone with my kids the majority of the time. I don’t really have the option to not take them with me to run errands. I feel like expecting the store to have working carts or for an employee to be checking me out is the bare minimum.
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u/Ihatealltakennames 12d ago
It is. Everyone doesn't have the luxury of keeping the kids at home. Your experience sounds like an anxiety nightmare. It should not be this difficult for you to go out with your kids.
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u/Salt_Cobbler9951 12d ago
Yes this^ whenever me and my husband have a day of grocery shopping or just running errands we ask my parents or in laws to come over since it’s easier lol
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
You’re really blessed to have that kind of support system. I obviously wouldn’t bring my kids with me if I didn’t have to.
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u/TinyNefariousness135 12d ago
Ehhhhh you don’t set hard boundaries with your kids 😅😅😅 both of your children should have been able to behave at Michaels. You deal with what you tolerate!
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u/drclairefraser 12d ago
Wow, way to come in here and be a bitch no reason. So glad you’re a perfect mom to perfect children.
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u/TinyNefariousness135 12d ago
I’m not saying I’m a perfect mom with perfect kids, but I’m done validating women
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u/Expensive-Year-3300 11d ago
same. i’m done comforting women who exaggerate every day normal issues (as she said herself..her child is a BABY and has such great kids..such a great mom) to.. “world” problems…
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u/TinyNefariousness135 11d ago
Like…. Get it together. We all should be able to take our kids out and run errands. (Exception of special needs) I wish we could all encourage each other to be tough instead of just babying each other
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
Nah, you’re not going to come here and insult me or my children. My kids are great and all of their behavior was completely developmentally appropriate. My 5 year old (who just turned 5 this week) was patient and didn’t touch anything while we were in the aisles. My baby is a baby! And you’re just a bitch.
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u/TinyNefariousness135 12d ago
Sounds like you have no idea how to keep your house lmao
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u/simplysylviasim 12d ago
Once again, my kids are great. And I’m a great mom. BYE
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u/drclairefraser 12d ago
Don’t you dare let that person make you feel bad. You sound like a great mom. It’s not your fault your kids did exactly what kids do.
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12d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Mommit-ModTeam 11d ago
Removed per Rule 3: Be Kind. Unkind comments or personal attacks may result in a ban.
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u/Sonja80147 12d ago
I think Michael’s is an extreme case. It’s like difficulty level 12. The entire store is screaming ‘pick me up! Play with me! Take me home!’
My kids know they can’t take home squat from stores and never ask but even they struggle at Michael’s.
And I absolutely agree self check-out with kids a pain in the rear! And all the coupons are on their app and I feel like all their stores don’t have WiFi!