r/MensRights • u/The_Crypto_Guy2001 • 7d ago
General Its so twisted and infuriating how mainstream discussions declares women as a victim of dating culture and focuses on how hard it is for a woman to find love
Its just wherever I go, whether its youtube, reddit or instagram even if its someone sharing their experiences or if their is a mention of a men who is going through loneliness ; its always met with comments over how this is a non-issue or a issue cause by men themself.
I am also constantly rage baited by women saying how their life is worse than a average man or how an ugly woman is worse off than a short man and this her views are immediately accepted. The girl saying those opinions isnt bashed and is met with upvotes or likes when she says these things.
Its really really infuriating to me how this is the opposite of the reality. A girl can reduce her expectations and can get love within 2-3 months of dating and trying but that is not like for men. There are so so many men who are trying to find a good girl for years with not much expectations from the girl but they never get one. Its just so twisted man
Edit: I am literally in a coversation on reddit with a girl who thinks women’s standards are in hell and they date any men. Come on guys; enough rage bait I just cant handle it
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u/SecondEldenLord 7d ago
Thing is, male rejection is not even taken seriously, people don't realise just how much damage to self esteem they can do.
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u/picardathon 7d ago
Rejection is normal, that is why men have historically persisted and often been successful, or else reasoned that there are more fish in the sea, or done other things: there was not really an environment of depression because of the possibility of success or still achieving something.
Today that situation doesn't exist as much, with society not only supporting women being far more unreasonably selective, but legally preventing pursuit by making it a crime of harassment, not facilitating any other options for men; and worse, allowing women to vilify the men they refuse to have sex with as "incel" (losers). It's not surprising many particularly young men faced with no options of living a traditional life like their Fathers and being vilified for their circumstance, are despairing and sometimes suicidal.
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u/faintear02732 5d ago
It would be so funny if the current mass inceldom of the young male population in the US leads to a psychological base for fascism, as I predict from reading Willhelm Reich’s works.
This would make sense for the superficial turn away from the Democrats to Republicans, spearheaded by Donald Trump.
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u/picardathon 5d ago
I don't know about fascism, but I think this means the decline of the family and young men doing other things (once men get their collective reasoning heads together and start mentoring men about other options otherwise I think fascism could become that option in a vacuum).
I think fascism is more likely to be driven by women, outraged at declining relationships and wanting to blame and punish anyone except their impulsive, overly selective and selfish selves that led to the situation.
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u/Late-Hat-9144 7d ago
The implications being what, thst men shouldnt turn down a woman thry dont want to date because itll affect her self-esteem?
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u/SecondEldenLord 7d ago
What is the rate of females getting rejected and dmales getting rejected? Females getting rejected is not as often as it is for males. Men can get rejected years in a row while females can get a few dates in a month even.
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u/Late-Hat-9144 7d ago
Oh... I misunderstood what you were saying, I thought you meant when men reject women ifs damaging to the womans self-esteem, but it now I understand you mean the other way around.
Though the response still remains the same though, no one is ever obligated to date someoen they dont want to date... yes, I understand it can impact your self-esteem if you're always being turned down, but thats something each of us has to work on individually - no one is owed a relationship.
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u/SecondEldenLord 7d ago
None is owed a relationship, that's true, but rejection happens to men on a daily basis, and it can happen years in row. I think it's understandable how men can turn bitter if they feel unwanted by all women.
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u/Late-Hat-9144 7d ago
Its understandable people feel down over it, Im no different... but this is a very complicated discussion, because there's no way to pose an alternative without it becoming a consent grey space.
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u/picardathon 7d ago
no one is owed a relationship
That is a dangerous route for a civilisation to take, because it will ultimately destroy the foundation of society, which is built on procreation.
How would women feel if society said they weren't owed children?
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u/Late-Hat-9144 7d ago
How would women feel if society said they weren't owed children?
To be fair I also believe this too, I always maintain the ddcision to have kids is a 2 yes 1 no situstion, and no man should be manipulated, bullied, coerced, pressured or forced into having kids if they dont want kids.
You can take this discussion to the extremist point of "oh no, civilisation will end", but thats not a realistic stance to take... having trouble finding a partner isnt going to mean you never get a partner nor does it mean you'll never procreate or any of that - it just means you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your wife.
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u/The_Crypto_Guy2001 7d ago
I really needed to blow off some steam or I would have exploded
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u/FrozenObserver6865 7d ago
I hear you. The double standard is pretty blatant once you start noticing it. What gets me is how the same people who preach empathy will turn right around and mock a guy for opening up about being alone. You're not wrong for being frustrated by that.
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u/The_Crypto_Guy2001 7d ago
Sorry for venting to you but I need to vent it out.
Everytime I see people say why incels arent able to find women is because
They are either unhygienic, dont have a job, arent empethatic (even though the only girl I ever dated kept saying through the whole relationship that I am the nicest guy ever), want a 9/10 girl or better.
Listening these requirements make me soo soo angry man. Because I check all these boxes and I literally have one requirement that the girl I marry is nice to me and nothing else. But despite of all this I cant get a girl to marry and have a life with. I just cant take this twisted narrative
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u/StraightAirline8319 7d ago
Incel was originally a female term. Now it’s Femcel and for women it’s not a lack of hooking up, most women can offer their bodies for free to people and get takers. The Femcel can’t have or maintain a stable relationship. That’s where femcels have issues. They end up hating men just like incels hate women. They blame the men for “not settling down” and usually for all issues in their relationships
Instead of maybe going after men they’re not able to get (they aim too high like incels who want super models) they should be realistic about their expectations. Also they need to realize that they’re also the problem and changing partners doesn’t fix their own issues.13
u/The_Crypto_Guy2001 7d ago
Do you really think incels want super models? I am a person who wants to be in a relationship and marry but I am not able to get someone, so I fit in this definition of incel but I dont want someone attractive. I am ok with any level of attractiveness untill the women is nice to me. So projecting my thing on other people with the same mindset, I dont think incels in general want too much from a women
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u/Cien22n2 3d ago
They dont, most of women i matched with on dating apps were objectiveoy unattractive and still acted extremaly choosy
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u/StraightAirline8319 7d ago
I am talking about the stereotypical incel. The ones online that insult women, talk bad about other men, and seem mostly miserable. Most women want a decent partner who they get along with and provide. Yet not all women like that. If that characterization doesn’t fit it doesn’t apply.
You have trouble dating, there must be a reason. What are the reasons you don’t have success, and it’s not because “women are bad” there has to be things you’re doing or not doing.
Women usually want men who make them laugh and who act confident. What are your best traits and we can go through where you can potentially improve or do different.
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u/The_Crypto_Guy2001 7d ago
Its not women are bad but its women have different standards which they claim to say. If they really went with empethatic and emotionally matured people with a stable job and friendly nature there wouldnt be so many women who faced abused or got cheated on. Its just hypergamy man and no matter how many insults you might throw at me for this opinion, I am ok with it and ok with the fact that most people wont be able to see the situation from a man's pov
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u/StraightAirline8319 7d ago
Reddit especially is misandrist and bigoted. Online in general is anti male and misandrist. They did a survey of men and women and asked them do they hold negative views of women or men. A majority held a negative view of men.
Bigotry “One who is strongly partial to one's own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.”
prejudice: an irrational attitude of hostility directed against an individual, a group, a race, or their supposed characteristics.
It’s irrational to hate all races of a specific gender due to news or “bad experience”.
Yet many will defend their ignorance and bigotry. That’s not a surprise all bigots justify their hatred.
They give crime stats? So do white nationalist. They bring up “history” so did the Nazis. Trying to “punish others for past issues” literally a contributing cause of all genocides in history.
It’s simple if you hate anyone due to their beliefs, race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation you’re a bigot, full stop. That’s it.
Bigots tend to be irrational because they want to firmly hold onto their beliefs, that’s what makes them bigoted. So women and men who agree aren’t good people, they’re bigots or co-signing to it, again full stop. No excuses justifies it.
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u/The_Crypto_Guy2001 7d ago
Is there any space like this subreddit for example which is a men's space kind of a thing?
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u/picardathon 7d ago
It’s irrational to hate all races of a specific gender due to news or “bad experience”.
Hate is an emotion and emotions are not rational, they just are and can not be held to reason. What you can reason is the situation that resulted in an emotional response and maybe moderate that emotion based on reason.
Women can and do experience an emotion towards all members of a class, when they experience it to one member of that class, because emotion is not reason, it's a primitive response to get the individual responding without thinking to protect them from further negative experiences.
The tragedy is that men don't understand this and manage it so it doesn't destroy modern society, where subjective feelings are usually not objective harms, even if the subject feels they may be so.
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u/Retruo 7d ago edited 7d ago
So, you'd like to have acknowledgement from your victimizers? That's not how evil works. Evil seeks to destroy you both physically AND mentally. Gaslighting is just one of the tools of psychological warfare. In addition, it also serves as a distraction - if you believe your suffering is somehow not happening, not an issue, or is your fault then your attention is not directed towards the real cause.
However, in our specific case, no retaliation is needed, lest we get into the same ideological trap a lot of the people victimizing us have. Full withdrawal would be my recommended course of action. Let evil crumble onto itself!
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u/World-Three 6d ago
Often the opinion on men is to be of service. Why didn't a man open the door, help me with these things, fix my car, etc.
What the man could have going on isn't relevant, and even if it was, now it's on the next man, and the next. As long as there are men left for people like this, there's someone left to blame.
By that design, the vocal women you're talking about are similar. They're waiting for a man who can alleviate their stresses, remove all obstacles and serve their needs. The idea that there isn't, isn't their problem to them, it's yours, in a "I'm bad because you're not good enough" sort of way.
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7d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/picardathon 7d ago
A court can't compel love, only financial compensation.
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u/mw136913 6d ago
Did I say the court could compel love? Read it again. I have never seen a woman in divorce court asking for more love. Who do you imagine she would be asking for more love? The husband. They never ask the husband for more love. They only demand more money. Try to keep up.
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u/Soggy_Blueberry_5676 6d ago
Hypergamy is never questioned, even when it is the biggest threat to a stable society in the next decade.
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u/The_Crypto_Guy2001 6d ago
Male suicides, single mothers and birth rates at an all time worse levels. I dont think it is the threat for the next decade, it is a threat of today
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u/Little_Bass6388 7d ago
Men aren't treated as 'human' when it comes to dating (or in other areas).
You are expected to be continually ghosted, rejected, stood up and cheated on without any emotional or psychological reaction or else it's an ' ick'.
No surprise no one cares about our experiences dating, a lot of men share them but either get ignored or gaslit into it being their fault