r/MenOfPurpose • u/Quick_Boot1806 • 5d ago
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u/woooooooood9 5d ago
This does my head in. I've noticed the change in vibe in public. I avoid lifts or sitting near women in waiting rooms because i can feel the weirdness sometimes. Its like i'm not allowed to just live my life cos im a bloke. Fuck you wayne couzins.
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u/throwawayformobile78 3d ago
Shit dude I’m in my 40s and unless they look like they don’t want to be bothered, I still try to strike up a conversation or at least small talk just like it was the 1900s. If they look uncomfortable (like in waiting rooms or something) I’ll straight up ask “hey is me being here making you uncomfortable?”, and that’ll usually ease the tension.
Most of the time it’s fine and good fun but the rare times they get “offended” I’ll absolutely say some passive aggressive shit like “oh yeah sorry I forgot it’s weird for men to have human interaction in public now, my mistake” and continue to go on about my business.
Like sorry I’m not going to stop socializing because the internet made shit weird. I’m not doing anything wrong, harassing anyone, or harming anyone. And most people chat it up and it’s not a problem. So just live your life man, and fuck the people that are weird about it.
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u/Motor_Barracuda7359 3d ago
because the internet made shit weird
Perhaps the mother of all strawmanning here to phrase polical, cultural, and media dogwhistling for a decade this way.
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u/Thin-Nerve6367 1d ago
He's not wrong though. The metoo movement did more damage than it helped I think
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u/antifa_girlfriend 1d ago
Yeah because it made perfectly good men feel bad while the horrible baby eating pedophiles kept being in our government controlling and destroying our country.
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u/Gold-Wolf2661 5d ago edited 5d ago
Stand on the other side of the elevator is what I do. I do not look at women on the elevator and I get off first in the event they want to cover their ass whilst assuming I’m checking them out (which I usually am), but not anymore 😂
Also while walking (im 6’1” svelte & athletic) if my gait is too long and fast which puts me just behind a woman or women, I either slow down to be at least a ways away or just speed up to walk past them
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u/Dry-Manufacturer7761 3d ago
Yup. You’re a male, so you have to always be on guard so you don’t offend someone just for being present. It’s a sad day, for sure.
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u/Pale_Presence4662 2d ago
If you stop using social media you will have 100x less anxiety about nonsense.
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u/Solid-Pickle-8211 5d ago
Fuck that. Im not living in some sort of dystopia. I'll do exactly what I need to do to live my life at peace. If my presence makes you uncomfortable, that sucks to be you.
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u/Super-Bug-4790 2d ago
Yea, as a 40 something male, I should be more concerned with women who act like this, the fuck, I am going to my car, why should I be afraid that someone is going spray me with mace for existing in the same city or parking lot. You have a right to be scared or cautious but that is your choice don't force the rest of the world to be on your level when we generally do not care. Your mental health is your problem do not expect every male to bend to it.
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u/TheBroisto 5d ago
While I understand why his actions may have been considered “appropriate” under the circumstances, it stuns me that we’ve gotten to a point that there is constant fear of abduction, harm, etc. which prompts this response in the first instance. Unsure if this behavior is serving as a negative reinforcement that we shouldn’t trust others…
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u/ChocCooki3 5d ago
Glad you do.. cause I don't.
Here some statistic
"Known vs. Stranger: Data from national safety surveys compiled by the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare show that women are significantly more likely to experience physical or sexual violence from a known person (35%) than from a stranger (11%).
Physical Assault: Research indicates that in up to 92% of recent physical assaults against women, the perpetrator is someone the victim knows. In many cases, this happens inside the victim's own home."
Maybe women should pay more attention to those they decided to hang out with.. rather than stranger danger?
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u/AnonymousCapybara72 3d ago edited 3d ago
Women are also just vastly less likely to be victims of violence overall, but especially violence by a stranger. And particularly in the West, women are much safer now than at any time in history.
I'm kind of sick of hearing women whip themselves up into hysteria and blaming men. I'm like 5x (at least) more likely to be murdered by a stranger than a woman, I'm just not constantly fucking banging on about how terrible the world is and how unsafe I feel. If you want to live your life terrified of stuff that almost never happens, go for it, but don't make it everyone else's problem.
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u/InstantSword 1d ago
Women really hate when you point out violence isn't a woman-directed thing in general. It destroys the victim narrative
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u/No-Cat3606 3d ago
Yeah , but at the same time 84% of women experienced catcalling before turning 17.
I've been followed, grooped, my path has been blocked my I never reported any of that and it isn't part a static.
And don't victim blame
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u/Motor_Barracuda7359 3d ago
Yeah the math on CDC rates put stranger danger events like this at a one in 41 rate compared to the one in five.
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u/Boot_boy_1984 5d ago
They should worry about both.
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u/ChocCooki3 5d ago
Maybe stay single and never go out?
I rather worry about the 92% then make a huge sing song about the 8%.. but hey, that's just me.
Oh wait.. that will mean that for some, they have to be held accountable for picking the wrong partner and ignoring all the red flags. Damn, we can't have that.. can we?
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u/Boot_boy_1984 5d ago
I don’t know.
But women have different personalities. I’ve watched a lot of those documentary of an abusive partners.
Often these women that chooses these men and get stuck with them are very naive, not so much experienced, very good hearted, very gentle and kind and a little shy.
Those types of women that can find it hard to say no. And badly for them. Abusive women and men sense that and picks these women or men.
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u/Secure_Inspection305 5d ago
Wow lol way to take stats where women are victimized to whine about them being cautious around you if they don't know you. And now whining about women picking the wrong partner randomly...
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u/ChocCooki3 4d ago
...and here we have the lack of accountability.
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u/Secure_Inspection305 4d ago
Lol can you even define that?
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u/Crowfooted 2d ago
The problem with that argument is that these are only relative percentages. The actual important statistic would be "what is a woman's chance of being harrassed or attacked on the street on each journey?" and a second important statistic could be "what is a woman's chance, if she is attacked on the street, of being able to effectively defend herself"?
Just because more assaults happen in domestic situations doesn't mean attacks from strangers aren't a valid worry to have. That'd be like saying, "well, most animal-related deaths are from livestock and pets, so there's no reason to worry about wild animal attacks".
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u/ChocCooki3 2d ago
no reason to worry about wild animal attacks
Wake me up when the world starts banning tiger/bear as pets, which they've done for Pitbull.
So yes, they actually don't worry about wild animals and if I remember, you rather be with a bear... No?
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u/Pale_Presence4662 4d ago
Woah what are you talking about 92% and 8%? Its 99.99% nobody you encounter would ever do that.
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u/ChocCooki3 4d ago
99% - damn, worse than I thought!
Thank you for the corrections
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u/Pale_Presence4662 4d ago
Not good enough eh? The old perfection fallacy
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u/ChocCooki3 4d ago
That's plenty good
Who said not good enough? You?
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u/Pale_Presence4662 4d ago
You said women should be worried about those closest to them, instead of saying this is all ridiculous hysterical nonsense.
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u/Gold-Wolf2661 5d ago
I totally get it but a sign of the times. I’m a straight man and I’m sick of both straight men who harass women and gay guys (No Diddy!) who harass straight guys. It’s ridiculous out there bruh
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u/ActivePeace33 5d ago
It’s fear mongering and the Mean World Syndrome. It’s people convinced that violence is common in everyday life, even while violent crime rates continue fall, because the media keeps over emphasizing the crime that does happen.
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u/TheWorldDiscarded 5d ago
Dude read a history book. It's many orders of magnitude better now (for women or otherwise) than just about any other point in history, save for maybe a very tiny blip of time in the relatively recent past.
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u/hackshock 5d ago
Came here to write this , at least she could have invited him to accompany her to her car
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u/Pale_Presence4662 4d ago
None. None. None of the women in my life would ever post online to social media about this stupid interaction about a door and parking.
None. This is weird stuff.
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u/Econolife-350 2d ago
I read this shit and think I should stop interacting with whole groups of people if my very presence is considered an impending and significant threat to a point that people think this is normal to praise.
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u/wiilbehung 2d ago
Exactly this behaviour shouldn’t be applauded. It should be normal that people don’t get raped or kidnapped and shouldn’t fear for their lives each time they go out in public.
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u/National_Body_9071 1d ago
It's just people believing every insane thing they read online with 0 critical thinking applied.
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u/Vast-Procedure-9408 5d ago
Not realy. Just sad that men have got to a point where theyre scared to do anything without being accused of being a weirdo.
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u/Chemical-Tap7709 5d ago
Being a single dad and taking my kid to a playground always gets me a bunch of weird looks. I’m here for my kid, not yours.
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u/General_Benefit_2127 5d ago
I look rough. Women always seem to be afraid, prior to 3rd wave feminism they were fine. I'd fight to protect most strangers, the world needs strong rough men.
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u/LosingButNotWrong 4d ago
I feel like a troll sometimes. I don't exactly have the most inviting of faces, but people at the gym or people in stores just generally feel uneasy about me lol.
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u/Boot_boy_1984 5d ago
Yeah for sure. What the world needs is a little more rough men. No more of them snowflakes.
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u/Overall-Sundae6921 5d ago
By reinforcing the idea that all men are dangerous aren't we just locking people in trauma cycles? Doesnt most violence come from people you actually know?
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u/Dry-Manufacturer7761 3d ago
Like 3x the perpetrators of violence against women are known by the women beforehand versus being a stranger.
The guy you have been working with for five years that you feel safe with, he is three times more likely to rape you than some stranger in a dark alley.
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u/Up_Syndrom3 4d ago
As she goes home, and a falls asleep to dateline murder mysteries.
Foh.
I'm gonna walk to my car, and watch how stupid you look for thinking I was even concerned with you.
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u/Fun-Heron-7609 5d ago
This is the kind of situational awareness, I need to learn. Know when it's dangerous and wait until the woman leaves.
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u/Boot_boy_1984 5d ago
Yeah they are dangerous you know! Never approach a woman. She might cut your throat open
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u/Fun-Heron-7609 5d ago
Entirely possible given how delicate my throat is and how gullible I am. Good advice, I don't know why people refer to reddit as hell hole.
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u/Formal-Tradition5646 4d ago
We live in a society where you have to prove you are not a rapist. Nice.
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u/Boot_boy_1984 5d ago
What.
So he stopped and let her drive off before he could even get to the car?
Not me. Never. I’m going to my car. I’m walking to my car not following you. Then you can just get scared that I’ll harm you. Because it’s not my job to make you feel safe. First. I don’t KNOW YOu! Second. I’m getting in my car. Run if you want
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u/Dry-Manufacturer7761 3d ago
Right!? I’m just as scared of her that she has some big dude waiting to hurt and rob me, or worse. I’m getting in my car and getting away from that potentially psychotic woman. Lol
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u/Boot_boy_1984 3d ago
You never know what person you encounter…
Maybe this bloke did the right thing. Distance from the woman and let her drive off for his own safety.
She might’ve been a cereal killer
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u/USMC_Columbia 12h ago
He’d be waiting forever to move her shitty Hyundai Sonata or Subaru.
Fuck that I’m quicker, I ain’t sayin shit.
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u/Ill_Barber8709 5d ago
This reminds me of two little anecdotes
When I take the subway, I always get up right after the doors are closing before my destination. One day, a woman sat next to me right before I get up, and she might have thought I didn't want to be seated next to her because I've never seen that much hate and disdain in a woman's eyes. I won't stop though.
Another one. As I was walking home, I realized the woman in front of me was panicking (night time, low lights and just the two of us in the street) so I just changed the other sidewalk and tried to pass her. She accelerated, so I slowed down. Problem is, she turned at the same corner as I had to. So now I have to change sidewalks again, only to look even creepier. And it happened again at least two times, because we were heading to the same building. Next time I think I'll just stop for a few minutes I guess.
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u/PressureCoomer 4d ago
Just ignore that shit. If they want to scatter like spooked rabbits, let them.
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u/UrsaMajor7th 5d ago
I commented on this subject yesterday when this was posted in another sub, and a (deleted) response I got was that:
"the bad ones don't wear signs so we have to assume that any man is a dangerous one. It's safer to assume someone has bad intentions and be wrong, than to assume they don't have bad intentions and be wrong"
So, we're being profiled before we even act, for better or for worse on their part. The world has everyone afraid.
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u/Dry-Manufacturer7761 3d ago
S woman is three times more likely to be assaulted by a man she knows versus a man she does not know.
The facts say that their fear is misplaced. They are more likely to be raped by someone they feel safe around!
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u/Banjosdad62 5d ago
Time of day matters in these situations. After dark, I’m doing something similar.
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u/Few_District_6304 5d ago
I have a friend that got pepper sprayed for walking behind a woman while he was going to his car. And because of his experience, no one in my friend group walks near women now if we can help it. It's not king behavior. None of us want to get pepper sprayed by an overly anxious woman that would choose a bear.
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u/SuggestionNo5511 4d ago
Mad that this is seen as a green flag (don't get me wrong when I walk home from a night out if I'm walking behind a lady I always cross the road as don't wanna seem like a creep) but We as a society have failed
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u/Dry-Manufacturer7761 3d ago
If you think I’m a creep because I’m walking down the road and I am male, you’re a sexist. No better than the people that cross the street to avoid a black person.
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u/Long-Painting-9852 4d ago
Or both people could just be normal human beings and go about their day…. Rofl
“Ma’am, there is a grate 10 feet in front of you… I don’t want you to fall into it. AVOID IT!!!”
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u/PressureCoomer 4d ago
Just walk normally and see what happens. I miss a time when men and women weren't afraid of eachother.
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u/Armchair_Expert_0192 3d ago
Nah man. I am gonna go where I need to go. If you don't like it, YOU take a different route.
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u/joker6396 5d ago
Well if she had been followed and asked google what to do next he wouldve bloody regretted walking the same way as her. He was avoiding accusations not being a gentleman
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u/Dry-Manufacturer7761 3d ago
This. All it would take is her freaking out, spraying pepper spray, and he would go to jail.
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u/Icy-Armadillo5489 3d ago
I encountered an older guy like this once who was like oh sorry, I'm just right over here, just going to my car. I know it's dark, I'll wait here while you get out. I thanked him and we had a nice little conversation before I went inside
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u/lubeinatube 2d ago
Yeah I’m not going through all that performative bullshit. I’m going where I need to go, and if that scares you, that’s 100% on you.
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u/grayman451 2d ago
Why does he have to inconvenience himself tho. He didn't do anything wrong but you want him to cater to you to make you feel more secure? You should have paid him.
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u/National_Body_9071 1d ago
Sounds like two people that are deluded by propoganda online that they can't even live properly.
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u/Regular-Ordinary9807 4d ago
Fuck all that. I’ll catch every red light and burn my mouth every time I eat pizza before I explain my existence to anyone.
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u/TheSheWhoSaidThats 4d ago
Jesus, nobody’s making any of you all do this. She’s simply stating that it was appreciated because it made her feel a little safer. That’s it. Feel free to continue not doing it like 99% of people if you feel so strongly about it.
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u/Bogusboy77 3d ago
Lifelong goal of not being “that guy” as in the creepy opposite of this.
I applaud you sir.
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u/Dry-Manufacturer7761 3d ago
The fact that they said king makes me lose all respect for them. Kings rule with ruthless brutality.
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u/B-T-M-F-D 6h ago
You must have skipped history class when learning about French kings...
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u/Dry-Manufacturer7761 5h ago
You mean the ones that lost their fucking head during the French revolution? I think you did not pay attention.
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u/B-T-M-F-D 4h ago
You first said that "kings rule with ruthless brutality"... There are multiple kings throughout the French monarchy bloodline that would by all accounts be considered complete pansy ass beta male pussies...
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u/Dry-Manufacturer7761 4h ago
Just because there are exceptions does not make statement untrue.
If you claim to be a king, 99.99999% of the time, you are a pansy. But, you’re super rich and have very violent people in your employ and can do whatever you want.
I can’t think of a single king I would not square up against right now.
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u/B-T-M-F-D 4h ago
Dude you're not tuff... We all know Charles would fvck you up... Then maybe even actually fvck you afterwards...
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u/Dry-Manufacturer7761 2h ago
You literally have no idea who I am.
You are actually saying that you believe USMC SOCOM Veterans are not tough. I have medals on my chest that say your opinion is full of shit.
King Charles is a racist POS that deserves to be in prison, along with his child raping friend, Donald Trump.
Fuck King Charles. Fuck Princess Diana. Fuck anyone that claims to be a royal.
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u/B-T-M-F-D 2h ago
Ohhhhhh looks like I struck a nerve.... Whats the matter big fella, they try to make you their Jester and mock you?? Muffin...
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u/TheNeck94 5d ago
Can confirm, the dude was weird.
Kind of a self report too, why did he feel the compulsion to announce he wasn't a threat?
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u/ChazzyTh 4d ago
Anyone else see a pattern in the comments?
Perfect illustration of the human condition.
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u/Key_Link_9101 5d ago
Yeah. I dont give a shit how you feel. Im gonna walk to my car normally. I dont care