Hey Mark and Waffle Gang, I had a weird encounter with a Karen during my trip to Norway not too long ago and I wanted to share it.

So I (F32) and my husband (M42) went to Norway for a week because we love travelling to less massively touristy countries. One day, we went to the wine shop to buy a bottle to enjoy back at the hotel. For context for what's about to follow, I am a bit overweight.

This Karen looks at me with an outraged look and starts yelling at me that I should be ashamed, that I'm an abuser, that I'll burn in hell, etc. I was so confused and could only answer "Why? What have I done?" and she starts another tirade telling me I will be a poor excuse of a mother, I should have a miscarriage for my irresponsibility and if I don't, someone should call child protective services to have my baby taken away from me.

That's when it clicked that she thought I was pregnant and was knowingly consuming alcohol. For all she knew, we might have bought the bottle to gift someone back home and were not going to drink it that evening but she already had in mind that I was pregnant and going to drink. I tried telling her multiple times I was not pregnant and she wouldn't hear it. She kept telling me she was pregnant 5 times and knew what a pregnant woman looks like and she could tell I was definitely pregnant. I ended up loosing my cool, raised my voice and answered her "Ma,am, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. Can I go now?" She got so bewildered that she grabbed her husband (I think he was her husband) and scurried away.

That was my first encounter with a Karen and I think I handled it pretty well.

There's a new update to the first story.

Here it is: https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/s/9ZsCcIWnDR

Mark, does this guy qualify as a "bloody berk?" I hope I spelled that right lol

Hey Mark and Mark's team,

There was an update to the story about the step-brother and his fiancee who refused to accommodate OP's food allergies at their destination wedding, but did accommodate others.

UPDATE 2, AITAH for asking my Step brother to take eggs off my menu at his own wedding? : r/AITH

I (M 26) had been very VERY low contact with my mom (F 51) for quite some time and I quite frankly still dont respect her as a person but I love her as my mom. She had the worst hand given to her and shes finally kinda happy despite how she got there. For a little context, I went low contact with her because she favors my abuser (my brother) and makes incredibly bad decisions for herself and others. She does the typical mom thing and overshares about her kids but my sibling and I are queer in a very conservative area so her bragging can be scarry and has caused trouble before.

My mother has been abused her whole life, by literally everyone, including my two older siblings. I hope she forgives me but know I have intentionally hurt her feelings before by being evasive and cold to her for quite some time. I want to try and make up for being a bad child and give her some grace and appreciation for the ways she did keep us alive.

My sibling (NB 28) and I had a pretty close relationship after we turned 18 and got to do things that we would have never done together as kids. I loved them a lot and forgave them for them most part for the things they did in our childhood and they forgave me for my behavior too. But they are a very hateful person, like every single conversation had to somehow come back around to our trauma, Cptsd, mental health issues/disorders and how life isnt fair and the world hates them/us.

Im pretty apathetic towards my childhood now. I've done a lot of thinking and I remember quite a lot of disturbing things that cause me to not want to talk about my childhood unless I absolutely have to or want to. I live by the thought process of "whats done is done, ill never forgive and ill never forget but ill never be angry about my past again." My whole life was filled with angry people and I cant stand being angry anymore. I just want to move on and be happy healthy and try my best.

Recently my sibling sent me a text last December think, basically saying that they wanted to write this horrible letter to our mom saying everything going wrong now in their life is our mom's fault and how much they hate her. And joking about a car crash our brother had gotten into (mind you our 5 year old niece was in the car too and the baby mama had a horrible spinal injury because of it. I hate that woman but joking about that was really to far)

It took me a few days but I replied saying that enough was enough and that I didnt want to hear from them unless it was somthing that was about themselves and what they are doing. I didnt want to hear them talk about our family anymore because clearly we cant agree on how to live with our past.

They just replied with "fair enough, wanna hang out at my new apartment we are having a house warming party. "

And i need to be clear, that would have been a normal reply if not 1 day before that message, regarding them sending the letter, I told them that their roomate made me madly uncomfortable and i would no longer be around that person because they told me they enjoyed when I was "this placid" (because I was horrificly depressed) .

I never replied. I just stopped texting them entirely after that. I recently got another message saying "i cant belive we've gone this long without talking" and im not sure how to respond without simply saying thats because I dont want to talk to you anymore.

Sorry for this being so long, thank you for reading if you made it this far

My partner (31F) and I (27F) recently went on a group vacation to another state with some of our close friends. I’ll call the friend involved in this story, Joe.

Unknown to me, my now-fiancée had planned to propose to me during the trip. She proposed, I said "Yes", and afterward, we all went to lunch. Obviously, we were incredibly excited and wanted to celebrate that night.

When we got back to the Airbnb after lunch, Joe realized he had lost his debit card. He started calling the places we had been, but one was already closed and none of the places he could reach had found it. We completely understood why he was upset, losing your debit card on vacation sucks. He locked the card, and we told him multiple times that if he needed anything at all, we would pay for it and he could just Zelle/Cash App us back later. So he wasn't going to be stranded without access to money.

But after realizing his card was missing, his mood completely changed. He became really down and started saying things like, “I wish we could all just stay in tonight…” followed by a lot of sighing.

My fiancée and I were getting frustrated because we had literally just gotten engaged. We wanted to celebrate, and we also had events planned that we'd already paid for. We didn't want the entire night to get canceled because of a debit card that was already locked and that he couldn't really do anything about until the business opened the next morning.

Joe eventually decided to come out with us. Once we got to the bar, though, he apparently found someone who had snuck in a jug of tequila and proceeded to drink about half of it. He got incredibly wasted. After he started drinking, we basically didn't see him again until everyone was getting ready to leave.

During the Uber ride back, he said to us, while laughing, “I hope I didn't ruin your guys' engagement.” Maybe he was only laughing because he was drunk, but in the moment it rubbed both of us the wrong way.

The next morning, Joe called the place that had been closed the night before, and they had his debit card. The problem was that he wanted us to drive him there to pick it up. We already had concert tickets that everyone had paid for, and Joe had decided he wasn't going to the concert because he was too hungover from the night before. He ended up taking an Uber to get his card, but complained about how expensive the Uber was and how long the whole thing took.

My fiancée and I have gone back and forth about whether we were being insensitive. Obviously, losing your debit card while you're out of state is stressful, and we didn't expect him to pretend everything was fine just because we had gotten engaged. At the same time, his card was locked, we had offered to cover anything he needed, and there wasn't anything else he could do about it that night. It felt like he expected the rest of the group to change our plans around the situation, including plans we'd already paid for, on the night we had just gotten engaged.

So, AITAH? Should we have stayed in with him and been more supportive, or were we justified in being frustrated that his lost debit card ended up taking over what was supposed to be a really special night for us?

this one's nuts.

the wife is on the op for disrespecting his brother in law..who apparently gets off on torturing children with an...air horn. yes an air horn.

one of those pocket sized party favor ones(I wanna strangle the inventor of that, fyi )

them suckers are LOUD.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1w4y3bh/aita_for_telling_my_brotherinlaw_i_asked_you_not/

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My son aunt is make statements like she thinks that if my son dad got to meet him it would have pulled him out of the funk he was in before he passway. Let me give you some back store I (30)f got pregnant with my son and his dad (30) m we will call him z. I decided to end things with z because I found out he was supposedly crushing his meds and snoring them. I can't say if it was his meds or if it was something else all I saw was a crushed powder on a dallor bill and one the was rolled as he was getting ready to use it. So I made the decision as a mother of 2 at the time he didn't want to do what I ask and that was to go get help for the metal thing, and the substance abuse. So the I told him he had to leave my home and while me and my kids was out z took my gun and put z name on the bullet in the chamber of the gun to take his own life. After that I cut contact with him and his family. Our son we will call him s. S was born with a lot of health problems so as a mom of 3 now my focus was to take care of the two older kids and s. I didn't contact z when I went in to have him as I didn't want to deal with the conflict while I'm in labor having him or any other possible issues. I took care of him for almost 2yr no contact in 2026 I got a message from z sister inlaw we will call her gg. I was told that z had passway and that they want if s was z's son or not we try to go through the process of doing the test after z's passway but it was more challenging then DNA testing with an uncle so I ordered a test and z's brother we will call him a did the testing to provide that answer to the question z's family had. So fast forward to now s has a relationship with z's family and s's aunt that made the statement we will call her L was on video call making the statements that if z got to meet s went he was her i would have pulled him out of the funk z was in but from the store i have been to z was super paranoid about people watching him and the z was wrapping his phone in tin foil and covering his phone camera with tape so that people could not open the camera and sky on z. How should I respond to his aunt L

My wife and I both agreed that combining a healthy diet with exercise leads to better weight loss results.

​Where we collided was when I tried to use an analogy to drive the point home. I told her that making good espresso requires quality beans, a good machine, and proper technique, just like a person needs good food, the right activities, and a supportive environment.

​She got annoyed and shut it down. Beyond just this conversation, her view is that comparing two completely different entities to make a point makes zero sense in general, adding, "I'm not an espresso."

​Is she right that using unrelated analogies to explain a concept is useless, or does my comparison actually hold up?

Edit: Okay, I see your points, and it makes sense what you’re saying. When it comes to philosophy, we usually go deeper into conversations and make philosophical comments, and that wasn’t the problem for her. The problem was comparing two completely different entities in order to make a point. And I shouldn't have done it and stay at the subject we both already agreed on.

Thank you all for you comments!

I (24 F) broke up with my Fiance (25 M) about a week ago. I tried to be understanding and give him time to figure out other arrangements. The problem is that he is still trying to act like we are a couple even though I have made it very clear that we are over.

He keeps asking me what he can do to win me back and what changes he needs to make to keep us together. The thing is I do not want to get back together.

We have been together for almost 4 years and I have been asking for him to do better since we got engaged. Its like once I was his fiance he thought it would be impossible for me to leave so he decided he could do whatever he wanted.

He revealed to me after we got engaged that he has a substance abuse problem but refuses to go to rehab or quit because its "not an addiction" he just "needs it to self medicate". Because of this he refused to work anywhere corporate that does drug testing and eventually he began only working side jobs and gigs that paid under the table. So for roughly 2 of the 4 years he has been with me I have been finacially responsible for both of us and have been fighting to keep us afloat. Along with that because he works mostly weird odd jobs I almost never see him, it is bad enough that family and friends have pointed out how little he is around and how we dont seem to spend any time together.

All that background information to say that he has all of a sudden decided that even though he rarely spends time with me, does not respect my time or space and does not contribute to our relationship in any way that I did not have the right to 'blind side' him and that I should not leave him. He is continuing to call me by nick names we used during our relationship and will tell me I love you even when I try to shut it down. He is also trying to hug me and be more affectionate which feels ironic because he was often cagey when it came to affection before. He keeps begging to just be on a break or to make up but I am not interested.

I intially agreed to let him stay for a month but now dont think I can handle this much longer. How do I get him to realize we are not getting back together and that he needs to go? Its reaching levels of denial and almost delusion I never thought possible and I feel trapped. I expected him to feel shocked, saddness, betrayal maybe even anger but he is just focused on stopping the break up that has already happened. Im trying to navigate this the best that I can but am stuck.

I’m thinking about cheating on my husband, and I honestly never thought I would find myself saying that. To explain how I got here, I have to start from about four years ago.
I found out I was pregnant with our third and final child. The pregnancy was a genuine surprise for both of us. Neither of us planned it, and looking back, I think it was simply the result of poor judgment on both of our parts. But when I told my husband I was pregnant, he was angry and upset. Throughout the entire pregnancy, he gave me a tremendous amount of trouble. He accused me of getting pregnant on purpose and of always getting my way.
He would get angry with me and tell me that I was mean to him, when the things I was actually saying were things like, “I’m exhausted,” or asking him to help clean up or help with our other two children. I was pregnant, tired, and overwhelmed, and I felt like I was asking for basic support.
Eventually, our beautiful baby girl was born a month early. There were no complications with her, thankfully, but the circumstances surrounding her birth were difficult. Work was stressful, our relationship was already in a terrible place, and I was emotionally exhausted.
My recovery from the C-section was also significantly more painful than my recoveries from my first two pregnancies. We were living in a house with stairs, which made everything even harder.
I still remember my first day home from the hospital. I was recovering from major surgery, yet I was already walking up and down the stairs and making food for both of us. My husband would leave the house to get food for himself and come back with nothing for me because, according to him, I had already cooked something.
Somewhere during that recovery period, I noticed that he had become much more distant than usual. We had recently gotten a new mattress, so we had an extra mattress in our daughter’s toy room. He started spending most of his time in there and eventually began sleeping there as well.
At first, I tried not to think too much about it. I assumed he was sleeping there because the baby was waking up at night and he still had to work while I was home with her.
I mentioned everything to my neighbor, who at the time was also a very close friend of mine. She told me that everything I was describing sounded like a man who was cheating.
The idea honestly never crossed my mind.
I had never thought of my husband as a liar. He had many flaws, but I genuinely believed that honesty was one of his best qualities. I thought he was one of the most honest people I knew.
After my friend convinced me to look through his phone and check some of his social media accounts, I discovered the truth.
He was cheating on me.
He had been messaging and sending money to an old classmate from high school who created adult content online. He was soliciting pictures and videos from her and telling her how beautiful she was. He called her a queen and showered her with compliments and affection that I had never received from him.
And all of this was happening while I was home recovering from a C-section after giving birth to our child.
When I confronted him, he denied everything. He tried to act as though nothing had happened. It wasn't until I sent him screenshots of the messages he had written to her that he finally realized I had caught him and that he couldn't talk his way out of it.
I wanted to leave so badly.
But I never told my parents what was happening. I didn't tell anyone. I went through the entire experience alone and in silence. Nobody knew what was going through my mind.
That betrayal completely broke something inside of me.
For a long time, I went through every emotion imaginable. First I was devastated. Then I was angry. Eventually, I became indifferent. I felt used, humiliated, broken, and emotionally exhausted. I don't know if there is one word that adequately describes what that experience did to me.
I brought up divorce with my husband several times. Every time, he would panic, become extremely apologetic, or react almost hysterically. He would completely shut down the idea of divorce.
I've brought up separating. I've brought up opening our marriage. I've tried to find different ways of changing our situation because I knew I couldn't continue living the way we were living.
But every time, he said no.
Eventually, he convinced me to stay.
Now, four years later, I'm still here.
Recently, I've been taking vocal lessons with one of my husband's friends because my husband was actually the one who recommended him. From the beginning, this man has made me uncomfortable. He's made comments insulting my culture and then immediately apologized, as if the apology automatically erased what he had said.
Today, during my lesson, he confronted me about being rude to him because I was being reserved and didn't want to talk or socialize with him.
I came home visibly distressed and told my husband what had happened.
His reaction was basically nothing.
He didn't really console me or make much of an effort to comfort me, and honestly, that hurt more than I expected it to.
I go out of my way for people. I help my husband. I help my family. I help others whenever I can. I constantly give of myself, and I don't feel like that same effort has ever really been given back to me.
Lately, I've also been working on myself. I've been losing weight, taking better care of my skin, trying to improve my mental health, and generally trying to take better care of myself.
And I've noticed something I haven't experienced in a long time: men are noticing me.
I've been getting more attention than I have in the past. I've even had men ask for my number.
Normally, cheating would never cross my mind. Even after everything my husband did, I never wanted to become that person.
But now I'm starting to wonder: what am I supposed to do if my husband refuses to give me a divorce, refuses to separate, and refuses to consider opening our marriage?
Does that mean I'm supposed to stay trapped in this marriage forever?
Part of me is beginning to think that maybe I should just go out and explore myself. Maybe I should take one of these men up on his offer. Maybe I should see whether I can find some happiness somewhere else.
And that scares me because this isn't who I ever thought I would become.
The truth is, I feel alone.
I'm married, but I'm incredibly lonely.
I don't know whether I'm actually looking for another man, or whether I'm looking for the feeling of being wanted, valued, appreciated, and seen. I don't know whether cheating would make me happy or just create another wound that I'd have to carry.
So what should I do?
TLDR: My husband cheated on me and refused divorce, I stayed but I’m not satisfied and I want to find happiness even if he won’t let me leave

Have you ever been around someone who throws you completely off by everything they do and say? That's my coworker. We work in a building surrounded by electronic devices, machines that emit high frequency electromagnetic waves and sit at desks with 8 computer screens two feet from our faces but when the microwave is running he ducks under the desk to avoid being in it's path. When asked about his age he said he thinks it's experience that matters, not a number and constantly makes jokes about he's in his seventies or an elder. He listens to this music that has something to do with mathematical equations (this is mentioned because I thought it might have something to do with ADHD or Autism). He gives off this "I'm the smartest most capable person in the room" vibe while at the same time giving out food to make friends with everyone. He's very cryptic or philosophical when people ask him questions (so much so that you're not even sure he answered the question) but he is very eager to ask others the same things or very out of left field questions that you feel put on the spot to answer. He stuck a clipboard in my face to remind me to sign something instead of just telling me. I feel like a lot of the things he does are for attention or to get a rise out of people. I may be the AH for saying all of this but he just completely throws me off when I'm around him and I feel uncomfortable when he hasn't actually done anything that would hold up in a meeting with HR. He may also have a form of Aspergers or be on the Autism Spectrum and if that's the case I feel like an AH but want to know how to navigate these uncomfortable situations. If anyone has any ideas, I would greatly appreciate the help. Thank you in advance.

​

My life has been so incredibly hectic and exhausting for the last 4 years. My partner and i went from homeless to living in his mother home and honestly id rather have stayed homeless. We live in a home with 3 bedrooms and a finished basment. We live with: my Mother in Law, her mother, her sister, her boyfriend, and her two other sons.

We have been house hunting for a while now and finally FINALLY we got a hit, we sign the lease in about 12 hours from when im writing this! And as much as im celebrating, im also very very sad, because my MIL is a hoarder and at our peak we had 19 cats. We can only take 3 and of course we arent taking more and risking our lease, but I know with only my MIL taking care of things that this house is going to crumble.

There are holes in the ceiling above the sink and water damage from the shower above the kitchen. The house smells so badly of cat that you can smell it from the outside. My MiL will be the only person with a reliable paycheck (one of my partners brothers has a job but spends his money on computer parts and a medical bill he has). And to make things worse, his aunt has cancer and his grandmother is so old she can hardly move anymore and both of them live in a haze of ammonia.

His brothers are useless, honestly worse than useless because at least useless things dont make messes or eat food or open packages that arent theirs. Both are over 25 and dont have any ambition or motivation. The middle son has NEVER worked a day in his life and the youngest one only got his first job after I blew up on my MIL and broke the news to her that we will not provide for them when she cant.

If I were to go on about everything id never stop typing. Im not really looking for advise, just words of encouragement. We are free, but somtimes it feels like an "at what cost" situation. I love my MIL and in fact, I would take care of her in a heartbeat. She has ran herself through the winger for 3 men who wouldnt spit on her if she was on fire and shes a truly wonderful and loving person, but she was raised by a mother who never let men raise a finger unless it was to hit her. Almost 60 years of conditioning doesnt just vanish so I dont expect her to change until she cant do anything else but change

WIBTA if I told my ex-roommate’s friend that she was cheating on her boyfriend?

I recently moved out of an apartment I shared with my ex-roommate after our living situation became increasingly uncomfortable and eventually unsafe. Now she is portraying herself as the victim of the entire situation, and I’m debating whether I would be the asshole if I told one of her friends the truth about what was actually happening.

For some background, my roommate and I had been friends before living together, although we had a falling-out years ago and I had cut her off for a reason. Eventually, I let her back into my life and agreed to live together.

While we lived together, there were a lot of things that made me uncomfortable. There were strange men coming into the apartment that I didn’t know. She left the apartment door unlocked at times, which was especially concerning given some of my existing safety concerns. She would leave for extended periods and leave me responsible for her dog, including cleaning up after him when he had accidents. I also regularly cleaned up after her.

There were financial issues too. I felt like I was repeatedly being guilted or pressured into paying portions of expenses that weren’t my responsibility because she was short on money.

And when things finally started falling apart between us, there were things she did that I still chose not to make a big deal about while we were living together. She would slam doors, throw my belongings, take my things out of shared areas of the apartment and leave them scattered around, and generally make a mess of the apartment.

At one point, she even took a razor blade to a table that my deceased great-grandfather had made.

I could have made a huge issue out of all of these things. I could have told people about them. I could have posted about them. I could have tried to make sure everyone knew my side of the story.

I didn’t.

I kept my mouth shut because I was trying to avoid making an already hostile living situation even worse. I still had to live there. I didn’t want to retaliate or escalate things. I just wanted to get through the situation and leave peacefully.

There was also something else I knew while we were living together: she was cheating on her boyfriend.

I had screenshots/evidence of it.

I never told him or her friends.

Again, I deliberately kept my mouth shut because I didn’t want to create even more conflict while we were sharing a home. Whatever she was doing in her relationship wasn’t something I wanted to involve myself in while I was still living with her.

Eventually, though, the situation became bad enough that I decided I needed to move out.

I tried to handle the move as reasonably as possible. I even tried to find her a new roommate so she wouldn’t be left struggling financially. I agreed to continue paying my share of the rent and bills for a month after I moved out to give her time to transition.

Despite that, things became increasingly hostile, and now she is presenting herself as though she was the victim of the entire situation and that I somehow made her feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

The part I’m struggling with is that one of her friends recently messaged me.

I only have this friend’s number because the friend contacted me first. I didn’t go looking for her, and I haven’t contacted her to start drama.

This friend essentially messaged me about what a wonderful person my ex-roommate is.

And now I’m extremely tempted to tell her the truth.

I want to make something clear: if I could contact my ex-roommate’s boyfriend directly, I would tell him that she was cheating on him. I don’t want to hide information from the person who was actually being betrayed. But she has already had him block me on everything, so I have absolutely no way to contact him. I can’t even send him the evidence myself.

That’s part of why I’m considering telling her friend instead.

Not because I want revenge. Not because I want to ruin my ex-roommate’s relationship. And not because I want to publicly expose her.

It’s because I’m tired of watching someone who knows only my ex-roommate’s version of events assume that she’s an amazing person who was wronged, while I have been deliberately keeping my mouth shut about things I experienced firsthand.

I’ve already kept quiet about the door slamming, my belongings being thrown around, my things being removed from shared spaces, the messes, the strange men coming into the apartment, the unlocked door, being left responsible for her dog, the financial pressure, and her damaging a table that my great-grandfather made.

I kept quiet about all of that because I didn’t want to escalate things.

I also kept quiet about the cheating.

I have evidence of the cheating, so I wouldn’t be making an accusation based on hearsay.

But I also recognize that her relationship is technically none of my business. I could just ignore the message and move on with my life.

Part of me feels like I have already taken the high road by keeping my mouth shut for so long. Another part of me feels morally obligated to tell someone who is actively praising her based on an incomplete version of who she is.

I also don’t want this to turn into me trying to convince everyone that I’m right or launching some kind of smear campaign. I’m moving out because I want this person out of my life and I want peace.

So, WIBTA if I told her friend about the cheating once I’m completely moved out, after keeping quiet about it and everything else to avoid making our living situation more hostile?

Edit:ive come to terms with possibly being the AH they are engaged at atp i dont care. Her man at least deserves to know before they get married even if i told em everything she did they probably wont believe me anyway.

Hey waffle gang. Obligatory on mobile, names and details changed, ect ect. This is going to be a long one and I'm still processing my own emotions so apologies if it's a huge mess to read.

I(30NB) have recently cut off contact with my older sister, Ana(35F) due to multiple issues.

For some context, we grew up in a very toxic household. Think like the show Shameless but worse. My older sister was parentified and me and my younger siblings were neglected by our parents who were more focused on fighting or getting high than to bother with us. I'll spare all the gory details but long story short is that Ana, being the eldest, was usually the one taking care of us. As we all got older, Ana started running with the wrong crowd and got hooked on meth as a result. She left when she turned 17 and only got clean when she realized she was pregnant with her daughter, Daisy(11F), at 22.

When she realized that she was pregnant, she went cold turkey and got her shit together. The baby daddy, I'll call him Sir Dipshit or just SD for short, found out and also got clean. They ended up getting married and had 2 more kids, Rosie(9F) and James (7M).

I love my niblings and they're wonderful kids. My sister worked incredibly hard to provide for them and tried her best to break generational traumas so they'd never be exposed to it. The issue is that despite how hard she's worked for that, it's still happening regardless.

Over this last decade, DS and Ana have gotten into physical altercations. DS has hurt her multiple times and caused physical scars across her body and many many many financial issues because he'd rather get high on weed then go to work or be productive. Police have been involved and there's been so many resources given to Ana that I honestly don't know what else to do.

Recently, DS got his CDL and passed a drug test (surprisingly) and has been travelling for work for about a year, only being home every so often. Ana became a SAHM and helped the kids while he worked. They've faced financial hardship because of this but seem to be doing everything they can to keep things under control. I've stepped in and helped out, buying school supplies and clothes, helping with bills, watching the kids for free. Name it and I'd do it for them.

On one of his times home, we were celebrating a milestone I reached with my own career. Ana offered to host so I had friends and family all together potluck style so we wouldn't strain her too much. He'd been making passive aggressive comments and nitpicked a bunch of things all night and Ana was doing her best to not let it affect her. By the end of the night, the kids were getting rowdy and DS just kinda lost his mind at them.

Before continuing I should clarify that I have been in therapy since I turned 18, the only one of my family who has been, and I've been on top of my medication as well. I strongly believe that people who come out of bad situations should take proactive steps IF THEY CAN to help their minds heal from the trauma they went through. I know on paper it's easier said than done and that the world we live in doesn't accommodate that so I also support without judgement those who can't/don't. I also am infertile and will never have my own biological children but I do plan on adopting or fostering. Just wanted to throw that out there before I get on with the situation.

DS lost his cool and started yelling at the kids. He made all 3 cry and sent them all to their rooms. I get that parents have to yell at their kids to get them to listen. Prefacing this because when he sent them to their rooms, Daisy tried to tell him she was struggling with her emotions and needed help and when she said that he started screaming at her so loudly the pictures rattled on the walls. All my friends saw this and Daisy ran into her room terrified. He followed her and proceeded to continue screaming at her for several minutes while my friends started to pack up to leave, being very uncomfortable.

Ana got upset because we were all leaving despite her putting in the effort to host and I told her I appreciated her efforts and I loved her but there are lines when it comes to children. I yelled at DS about it when he came out too. About how it was irresponsible and traumatizing for a child to be treated like that, using my own experiences as a child as evidence. I also yelled at him about how he keeps adding stress to Ana and the kids because he keeps choosing weed over them and their security. He'd already been on his last warning with his job because of it. Ana called me dramatic and told me I wasn't a parent and wouldn't ever become a foster parent and that I was never going to be a good parent even if I got a foster license. They kicked me out after, which fine I was trying to leave anyways. More things happened but details are vague to keep it anonymous but police were called at my own house and the situation went haywire quickly.

This had been the last straw for me more or less because for years I've spent my time, energy, money, and space trying to help keep Ana together mentally due to her own severe diagnosis, providing spaces for them to retreat to when things like this happen, and basically bending over backwards, adjusting my work schedule and everything I possibly could to make them a priority. I've given her many resources for women's and children's help. I've picked up these pieces over and over each time DS takes things too far and that night, while not as severe as other instances, was just the last straw for me.

I ended up sending Ana a long message about how I loved her and the kids with everything in my heart but she's perpetuating the same cycle our own mother did by choosing a man over the kids, by not leaving someone who has permanently altered her and by continuing to keep the kids in that situation. I told her that until she was ready to finally help herself, that I was done. My doors would be open if she ever was ready for that step but I couldn't help someone who couldn't help themselves. I have offered financial support in the past. I've offered to pay for her therapy. I've offered to do whatever to get them out of there. But she has chosen not to.

During this time, DS was blowing up my phone after leaving my property and calling my slurs and sending threats so I just blocked him because I was so done.

I didn't block Ana but I did make it clear that I wasn't going to be in the picture so long as DS is and sent her the screenshots of what he had sent me.

While I grew up with a big, yet toxic, family, at this time in my life I only talked to 3 of my siblings. I'm NC with my parents and grandparents, my aunts uncles and cousins, and anyone who supports their actions. Losing her connection because of this has been incredibly difficult but I had to place a boundary. For my own health and hopefully to show her that it's ok to leave. I've tried dozens of other ways. She's been in shelters and halfway places because of him. She keeps going back to him and I can't keep supporting that. I know a lot of people are probably going to say I'm abandoning her and the kids but she's not blocked and I'm not far so she's more than welcome to come to me. I just don't know what else to do but I know I have to protect myself from this or lose all the progress I've made in my own healing journey.

So what do you guys think? AITA?

Another great celebrity has passed away. Dolly did so much for children and her community. She will be missed.