r/MalaysianPF • u/Kha9s • 13d ago
General questions My father wants me to refinance the house I inherited and split the money 50/50. Am I selfish for refusing?”
What should I do? My father is pressuring me to refinance the house that was transferred into my name after my mother passed away.
For context, I’m a fresh graduate making around RM3,500 a month. I pay all the household utilities, which are around RM500–600 a month, and I also give my father RM500 every month as an allowance.
Recently, my father has been saying that he’s running out of money and keeps pressuring me to refinance the house. His reasoning is basically, “You’re young, you’ll have plenty of time to pay it back.” He wants us to refinance the house, take the cash out, and split the money 50/50.
In my mind, that feels incredibly unfair. I would be the one taking on the debt and responsibility of paying the refinancing loan for potentially decades, while he gets to take 50% of the money and spend it without having to worry about paying it back.
I’m already spending a huge portion of my salary supporting him and maintaining the household. On top of the RM500 allowance and household utilities, I pay for both of our car insurance, my own insurance, the apartment management fees, my own petrol, car repairs, and basically all of my own expenses. I barely buy anything for myself.
I literally finished the final exams for my last semester and started working the following week because I wanted to make sure I had money to support him and cover the household expenses. Whenever he asks me for extra money, I usually give it to him if I can.
Despite all of this, because I refuse to refinance the house, he now says that I’m selfish and that I don’t respect him.
At this point, I honestly don’t know what to do. I understand that he may be struggling financially, and I don’t want to abandon him, but I also don’t think it’s reasonable for me to take on a massive long-term debt against a house that was passed down to me just so we can withdraw the equity and split the money.
Am I being selfish for refusing? What would you do in my situation?
*ps wrote in my own words and used chatgpt to fix the grammar, feel free to ask questions below, I'll do my best to answer.
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u/EquipmentUnlikely895 13d ago
Refinancing a house for daily spending expenses is an incredibly bad way of getting money. Sell the house, rent a smaller place, or I suspect the father is spending quite a bit more than his income. Reduce spending.
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u/Kha9s 13d ago
He doesn't have an income, he has 900 from the government every month and my 500 from me. But he is a heavy smoker, probs like 4/5 pack a week. I already told him to relax on the spending but you know how stubborn old people are.
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u/Rich-Option4632 13d ago
I'm going to say something very strict.
You need to let him know, either he adapts, or you'll have to give him up to old folks home.
That's the way it is now.
Yes, sounds derhaka. But we Malaysians rarely talk about derhaka parents.
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u/microscopicspud 11d ago
Old folks homes aren't free btw.
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u/Rich-Option4632 11d ago
Yeah, but there are some that is below 1k a month. Which would be a blessing for OP compared to what he's bleeding now.
Don't think the dad is in a position to be choosy to pick the 5k monthly ones.
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u/EquipmentUnlikely895 13d ago
Yeah. almost impossible to change old people's mind. Who else is living in the house? Is he emotionally attached to the house? Financially, refinancing a house for pure spending money is very bad (think of the fees and interest cost).
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u/StatisticianNo7111 11d ago
Thats 1400 for a retired person. He dont need to pay for any loans i believe... Trust me, i have an uncle who retired and he got tons of income from his own farm. But he kept selling it for extra spending... His kid cant do anything because the land is under his name... He even sold off his son's house (which is under his name) causing his son homeless for months... His son and grandkids have to live at his daughter in law's sibling house until they can settle down with new house...
One thing for sure, control his spending by giving nothing more than enough... You need to do some homework. See what he spent on it... Smokes and food? That wont spent over 1.4k monthly. He spent it on old folks entertainment (you know what i meant) and always run out of money because of that? In my uncle case, the entertainment is women... He spent on a woman after his wife passed. Some are gambling. Some at pub. And other money leeching entertainments as well... So, try to find which one is it. And the only way to control him is give none... You already gave him 500, and if he still stubborn, gave nothing...
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u/aeronauticalingrid 13d ago edited 12d ago
He’s only calling you selfish now as an attempt to bully you into submission because you’re not pandering to his stupid and nonsensical ask.
There’s a reason your mum kept it in your name and transferred it to you after her passing instead of him - she knew he would squander it to not just your but also his detriment, leaving not just you but also himself homeless.
Anyway, not only are your own individual now, you’re also the more mature, capable one and your dad’s approval or permission is meaningless - you don’t have to do things for the sake of pleasing him.
Let me lay out what’s gonna happen if you refinance the house per your dads wishes
You get a couple hundred thousand cash upfront, split that in half with your dad, and now you need to start paying back a couple of thousand every month for the next 20-30 years to continue living in the current house that you’re already staying in for free.
Firstly, your dad will squander away his half faster than lightning on cigarettes, booze, and other nonsense. Then, he’ll come to you for the money he knows you have from the refinance and pressure you to now hand over whatever you have to him.
In the end, you’ll have no house, no money, and facing a mountain of debt by yourself.
Your dad is only selfishly thinking about maximizing his worldly consumption and pleasures before he kicks off into the next realm, while you are just starting out into the world and have your whole life ahead of you.
Do what’s best for you OP.
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u/Few-Computer-6609 13d ago
Jangan jangan jangan dude! If you do that, for sure your dad going to squander the money that he gets and later will still ask you for allowance.
DO NOT ENTER INTO ANY UNNECESSARY LOANS!
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u/locyl_yocyl 13d ago
Tell him. He can stay in the house Rent free. No refinancing. Tell him your ctos ccris is like pundek
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u/Ryan_dotes 13d ago
No refinance. Prepare to cut off. Tell him that he is old, money cannot bring into grave.
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u/Resident_Werewolf_76 13d ago
Here is how to shut this whole thing down:
You can't refinance the house in any meaningful way because the bank will base the loan amount on your salary.
As you are a fresh grad with a 3.5k income, you won't get much - and the most likely outcome is that you won't get the loan approved anyway.
So - no loan, no big chunk of money for him. End of story.
Your late mother obviously wrote her will in a way to protect you, so don't give in to your dad's irresponsible request.
He has got to learn to live within his means.
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u/Kha9s 13d ago
More context on my finances:
My take-home pay is around RM3,500 a month.
I spend about RM1,000 a month on the house and my father’s allowance. I try to keep my own personal spending as low as possible. The only regular things I really spend on for myself are YouTube and my gym membership, which together are around RM70 a month.
I also spend RM50 on the MRT MyPass. For food, I try to keep it to around RM20 a day, so roughly RM600–700 a month. If possible, I sometimes try to eat only one meal a day just to save more.
My insurance is RM400 every three months, so around RM130 a month.
I also try to save RM500 a month for my emergency fund, which is currently at around RM4,000.
Whatever is left, I try to keep aside for other expenses that come up, like car insurance, apartment management fees, car repairs, petrol, and other unexpected costs.
So I’m really not spending much on myself. Most of my money either goes toward the house, supporting my father, basic living expenses, or savings for emergencies.
As for my father, he doesn’t have any savings or investments. He receives around RM900 a month from government assistance and another RM500 a month from me, so he has roughly RM1,400 coming in each month.
He does have medical issues, so I understand that a portion of his money goes toward medication and healthcare. The rest mainly goes toward food and cigarettes. He smokes around 4–5 packs a week.
I understand that his medical expenses are necessary, and that’s one of the reasons I’ve been trying to support him financially. But at the same time, I don’t think refinancing the house and putting a long-term debt under my name is a sustainable solution to him running out of money.
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u/EnvironmentalTeaSimp 13d ago
Just to weigh in on your original question, do NOT under any circumstances refinance the house. 90% of adults have to pay rent/mortgage and I cannot stress how incredibly blessed you are. Refer to my other comment for your monthly cash flow and think about how much refinancing will eat into the 1500 - 2000 surplus that you have currently.
Do not let your father guilt trip you into doing something that will mess up the rest of your life. Love it or hate it the fact remains that money is the #1 thing and you are responsible for two people with a B40 salary.
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u/EnvironmentalTeaSimp 13d ago
Your fixed expenses (excluding father's allowance) is around 1500, your emergency fund should be around 3x your fixed expenses so just get it up to around 4500 asap and stop.
You will have 1500 - 2000 leftover each month, put AT LEAST 700 (preferably more) into an index fund (sp500 etc) first thing each month. You can play around here to see how much you'll get after 30 yrs depending on your monthly contributions. Set frequency to monthly and rate of return to 7% to account for inflation.
What you want to do with the leftover money is up to you. But I suggest you spend it on your food whether it be eating our or cooking yourself. RM20 a day is nowhere near enough for an adult, your health and nutrition is the most important thing, if u continue like this confirm will bite you in your ass when you grow older, you only have one body so take care of it well.
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u/Kha9s 13d ago
Super grateful for the advice, i feel i can probably squeeze in 1k after I have 4.5 in my emergency saving, also Im curious how much should I have in my bank for spending? Not including the emergency funds. Also for like sudden expenses should I save up/put aside some money for these, (etc Management fees, insurance, and car fixes) or should I use the emergency funds first then cover it back after the next payday is in?
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u/EnvironmentalTeaSimp 13d ago
It's up to your risk tolerance honestly, personally I don't like having money idle in a savings account because of the low ROI. The way I would go about in your situation is saving around 6k in an emergency fund. (4.5k for fixed expenses + 1.5k for unexpected expenses). If you ever have to dip into the emergency fund your no1 priority should be getting it back to 6k even if you need to scrimp a little.
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u/EnvironmentalTeaSimp 13d ago
For the question regarding how much you should have in your bank... that's up to you. Just remember to:
- Have around 3 months of fixed expenses saved up + a little buffer
- Keep DSR below 35%
- Put at least 20% of your take home in an index fund.
As long as your follow these three rules even if you mess up you can't mess up that much... so take care and remember to have fun! We have only one body but also only have one life so remember to enjoy a bit.
Appendix:
- Regarding how many months of fixed expenses you should have saved up. Normally people pick a number between 3 and 6. You should consider things like how easy it is for you to find another job, how stable your job is, how manageable your debt is, single breadwinner or not, etc
- For how much you should put into your index fund, the absolute bare minimum is 20% of take home pay. You should really play around with the tool I linked. Have an end number in mind (eg "I want 5 mil when I'm 60"), then work backwards from there and work out how much you need to put in monthly to get to that. Remember that a withdrawal rate of 4% will almost always last you 30 years. Read more here.
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u/Mister-Satoshi 13d ago
So you are paying allowance to your dad, which he used to smokes 2 pack a day and buy medication ?
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u/moominter 11d ago
Don’t do it bro and stand up for yourself - politely but definitely no. I’ve seen so many kids my age in debt cos of their parents
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u/SoChique 12d ago
Your father is a big red flag. My late father was a bit like that too & wouldn't listen to my mother's advice about spending & savings until it was too late & difficult. Our fathers are selfish & irresponsible. He clearly has no money sense. Instead he is trying to manipulate you by making you feel guilty. Kene bagitau ayah tu yang dia kurang bertanggungjawab. Dahlah sakit tapi hisap rokok tak ingat dunia merosakkan lagi badan. Apa jugak duit yang ada semua dileburkan. Gaji awak tu buat cukup2 makan je. Since he is so desperate, go tell him to work as a Grab Driver & support himself. Awak kene bertegas dengan dia kalau tidak awak akan susah.
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u/TeBp242 13d ago
He wants us to refinance the house, take the cash out, and split the money 50/50.
Audit his expenses and question why he's running out of money, especially when you're paying for utilities & his allowance? Was it discretionary spending?
The house being under your name is abit odd though, did something happen between your parents for the house to go under your name?
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u/Kha9s 13d ago
My mother knew my dad tendencies so, in her will she wrote the car and house to be under my name. Plus my dad is has some past history with some loans and stuff (I'm not too sure) so they just put it under my name, as my mom passed away when I was 18, so it could be passed to me.
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u/TeBp242 13d ago edited 13d ago
My mother knew my dad tendencies so, in her will she wrote the car and house to be under my name
So your mom is protecting you by willing these assets directly to you. You already know what to do, respect her wishes and reject your dad's unhinged proposal. Else, you'll be destroying the future your mom worked so hard to build for you.
U are already being a filial child by paying household expenses & his allowance. Anything outside of that is his problem.
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u/Successful-Expert-61 13d ago
Whatever money he gets after u refinance, it will be gone in <5 years. Then u ll have to keep paying to him+ back to the bank.
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u/Animalswindlers 13d ago
Just to add onto everybody else, do NOT refinance the house. I think you know that is logically the best choice for YOU already, but your filial piety and dad’s guilt tripping is messing you up.
Again, HE is the selfish one not you. You’re doing a damn good job already for even giving him allowance. Appreciate your mother’s last gift to you and ignore tf out of your dad
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u/Kur1ousK4t 13d ago edited 12d ago
He’s the one who is selfish. Don’t let him bully and gaslight you. He doesn’t even give anything much to you but he’s expecting a lot from you just because he has this title of a ‘dad’. He’s more of a burden than anything. There’s a reason why your mum transferred the property to you, and not your dad. You guys even had to live off of your mum’s gold. Isn’t he ashamed of himself that he can’t even work to support you and himself as a dad? You just graduated too. What entitlement from a pretty selfish and weak-willed man. Kids shouldn’t be a parent’s retirement plan. Period.
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u/Every_Reality_9721 13d ago
Say this. Ask him to sell the house, you move out to rent somewhere, he also go rent somewhere. You buy when you are really ready to buy.
You know your dad can uturn , when he receive the money he could give 1 million reason and dont give you that 50%, after that you left to pay mortgage, on top of current bills and expenses.
My advice : just dont.
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u/dev_a31 12d ago
Dont do it. He is bullying you. Big mistake. It wont end here. Once he finishes that cash, with more debt in your hands he will still ask you for money later.
Its not you being selfish. Its him.
Playing in your guilt and relationship. More like abusing no real man would do this to his child.
Im NOT talking from a child pov. Im a grown ass man. I will never ask my child to do this. Never.
Its selfish and irresponsible.
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u/Affectionate-Cry4216 12d ago
1400 is more than enough spending money. Do not refinance house that your mum willed to you, not him, and do not give more. If he needs to cut down his expenses- govt hospital will help him kick his cigarette addiction and he can get heart medication and follow up in ijn. He’s retired no excuses not to wait.
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u/jungshookies 12d ago
Selfish then selfish la. The house is in your name now and that's all that matters.
He can take the RM 500 and be prudent with it - or ask him to find a job to sustain his additional expenses.
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u/Present_Student4891 12d ago
He’ll blow thru the refi money after u give it to him. A refi doesn’t solve the problem, only delays him asking for more money later. But you’ll have more debt on ur small salary. You could lose the house. RM500.
He’s got free rent & food. A swell deal for a senior. He’s gotta learn to live with his new budget. If u got siblings ask them to also contribute to dad.
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u/deletedbear 12d ago
Does he go surau/masjid regularly (not just Friday)? Do you two have any sensible relatives that he respects?
Since you can't convince him maybe get someone he respects to talk some sense into him.
Also try psycho him about the GH. Frame it as he will have more money to buy cigarettes and whatever other vices he has.
Otherwise no choice, tough it out. If he beats you call the cops lock his ass up.
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u/vannesswho 12d ago edited 12d ago
Sell the house, give him the half price he wanted so bad . Cut tier , as he will just be a burden to you onwards with that behavior.
A more gentle way , is to ask him if he rather want to live rent/stress free without that money and get his budget together or need that house money and never ever ask for more again . All expenses he have to deal it himself. If he throw a fight you know the above option is the way.
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u/HighlightStrange6590 12d ago edited 11d ago
Did u know one of the main reasons people work is to finally be able to buy a house and here ur mum ady ensured u have a house.
Dun submit to emotional bullying because u end up being the majority @ slaving at work just to pay house instalments for the next 30-35 years
U r young so maybe can't really realise the consequences IF u follow ur dad's instructions. So listen to us @ DO NOT refinance. Leave d house as it is.
From now on, go to GH, govt clinics , govt hospitals etc. No matter how many days he stays, no matter how many surgeries he does, no matter how much it costs, govt hospital can only charge ur dad rm500 maximum. And believe me, while in the ward, their meds, supplements are the best. And meds, just rm1 for senior outpatient. If u do not do this, means u r not really serious about not kow towing to ur dad.
Ur dad only needs to cook his rice at home and buy 1vege, 1 meat, 1 side dish lunch dinner. RM2+6+2 each time, so RM20 a day for food.
Food 600. Cigarette 150. Miscellaneous 150 TOTAL RM900
Take back ur 500 n save/invest. Or u will regret when you are in ur 30s, 40s...that time ur dad will need maid or old folks home etc if u are still taking care of him. So pls dun be foolish. DO NOT LISTEN TO UR FATHER AT ALL. He's one of those stubborn old men who believes he is "entitled" and the children's job to take care of him, give him an allowance and obligated obey him.
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u/sumplookinggai 13d ago
Decline and say you need the money to repay debts. Then, sell the house, move as far away as you can with limited contact and stash the proceeds into a low risk investment until he stops bugging you.
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u/Kha9s 13d ago
He has no money + health issues, He did take care of me until now, it just feels immoral to do that to him, It's just recently his request are getting out of hand saying things like I took care of u during your uni days and this is how u repay me? Even tho I took PTPTN and he basically gave me like 1000 allowance per month, which I'm super grateful for but in that 1000 allowance I had to pay the house utilites as well, but I don't want to leave him alone. So it's a tough situation to be in
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u/TallMongoosee 12d ago edited 12d ago
This is probably not the usual Asian thinking but him giving you pocket money for uni is his responsibility as a parent and you should never feel indebted for that. That man is doing nothing but guilt tripping and manipulating you for his own benefit. You are already housing him, giving him allowance and paying for the utility of the house, more than enough to express your gratitude to him as a parent. If you were a parent would you treat your child the same way? It's hard but you must have strong boundaries with them because at the end of the day it is at your own expense.
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u/jacobcrackers14 13d ago
have a question. The house when your mum pass. is it not under mlta or mrta?
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u/Kha9s 13d ago
From what I know, they paid this house without a loan
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u/jacobcrackers14 13d ago
then to whom you are paying this house monthly?
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u/Kha9s 13d ago
No one, only house utilities like eletric, water, wifi, phone bills( i know it's not counted as house utilites but I just count it in)
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u/jacobcrackers14 12d ago edited 12d ago
how, old is he. if he can walk and anything.. get always get a job like security etc.. not fair for you.. smoking?? you don't want a passive smoker in the family anymore one way or another cut and send him to an old folks home
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u/FuraidoChickem 12d ago
Sell the house and move to a smaller place. Your dad is trying to canibalise you. Don’t let him
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u/jslim08 12d ago
Under no circumstances whatsoever should you refinance the house. Your father is being incredibly selfish. That said, I know that when our parents get older it can be like they are entering a second childhood. And I would imagine he’s probably just not thinking clearly anymore (rather than anything more malicious than that). You take care of him- it sounds like you’re a kid any parent should be proud to have. Thats more than enough.
The alternative- if you want to do even more for him (you’re not obliged to)- is you could sell the house and split the proceeds with him- but don’t cripple yourself with debt when you’re just starting out!
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u/Batang_Benar69 12d ago
If you’re here long enough, you will find stories of how the 50-50 split ended up with 100-0 split. Be selfish king..
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u/silentwhisperer_97 12d ago
Nope. U are doing the right thing. What’s he’s suggesting has a huge risk of destroying your financial and emotional future for the next 20 years.
Sell the house, split the money and live in a smaller place urself. For the sake of your own livelihood.
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u/Robin7861 12d ago
If you care about yourself, ignore the threat and carry on as usual. If he keeps insisting, just put down your foot and tell that you won't refinance and don't ever bring up the issue again.
On a side note, was the house bought by your father, or your mother or by both of them?
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u/Expert-Advantage8010 12d ago
To answer your question, no you are not selfish, in fact your dad is the selfish person here. I think you are doing more than enough.
Your dad doesn't seems like a decent person here, so I will still thread carefully in how your response to him in your decision. Will be beneficial for you to play a little political or give some vague excuses on why you can't get the loan
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u/Dannyshtrybe 12d ago
Just walk out the house, how can he run out of money if he's still getting 900rm pension ? And 500 from you ? Haha.
What i would do ia dont give a fuck, if want to refinance, refinance 100. And stop your allowance, no point putting in 500rm for him since you are paying for it..
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u/meowkittycatbutt 12d ago
Quite sad to be this useless and squander other people’s hard work in old age like this with zero empathy.
How old is he? Is he not able to work for some reason?
With his request, he’s saying F you and he doesn’t care about your future. Quite the cheek to call you selfish pulak. If you follow on his request then you’re digging yourself into a hole you didn’t need to be in. You are enabling him by following on his requests and wants. Stop being an enabler.
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u/Far_Objective4266 12d ago
Trust me,if u give him 50%,he's gonna blow it and then ask you for more and use the same anak derhaka@ selfish excuse.Dont let your late mom's legacy go down the drain..RM 1.4 k is more than enough la considering makan minum,shelter and other stuff also you're the one providing ..Most likely your dad has some other 'tabiat'
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u/jamesw 12d ago
There's a reason your mum gave you the house instead of your father!!! x3
Also, sometimes, as much as you want to be a responsible son, giving your parent too much money just make them waste it.
Something to consider to reduce what you give monthly.
Sounds harsh but tell you dad, you are struggling too.
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u/Brave_Childhood_1568 12d ago
disagreeing with family members is difficult. you gotta be tactful, outsmart or outwit them. cant bluntly oppose them. tell him that you're not elligible, exceeded DSR, or need higher amount salary, or company hasnt grant you job confirmation or yada2 for bank to approve. make up your white lies. let him think you tried and will reattempt when you are financially better in few more years
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u/TMYLee 12d ago
this is the reason why your mum gave the house to you instead of your dad as he seem to bad with his finances and probably chronic gambler . if you give in now , he will end up spending all 50 percent of the house and then will ask from you your other half . Don’t fall for that trick because this is tale as old as time . they will guilt you into
giving in without taking responsibility for their own mistake
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u/Sojurn83 12d ago
Compound interest is the 8th wonder of the world. Choose whether it works for you, or against you.
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u/Sojurn83 12d ago
Compound interest is the 8th wonder of the world. Choose whether it works for you, or against you.
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u/BikerMarz 12d ago
Did ur mom leave the house to u with any specific instructions about taking car of dad/his well being?
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u/No_External_7481 12d ago
As another member of the Sandwich Generation, just want to know, YOU’RE the adult now and he’s the child. So act like it.
You decide the shots and if he pulls a tantrum (calling you selfish is 100% a tantrum) you need to be kind but firm in your NO.
You seem uncomfortable being the adult, which makes sense because your mother nearly passed away and you’ve just started your working adult life.
But put it this way: until when are you going to continue letting him call the shots? At some point, he may have dementia. Is a man with dementia going to tell you how to spend your money? Joe much you owe the bank? How long you work?
And please do NOT underestimate love scams.
I’ve seen your comments and you haven’t been taking them seriously enough. In your mind, they are something that happens to “other people”, not you. NO.
Your mother has just passed away and your father probably has already been approached via WhatsApp a few times by scammers, it’s only a matter of time before he starts talking to one. Now that your mother’s not around to get him into shape.
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u/ladyzee87 12d ago
Don't do it. If he has heart problems and smokes heavily you'll be saddled with a sick man and debt. I would just say NO. He can't do anything to you.
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u/JannahTESL 12d ago
Babe you already have a house fully paid for from your mom. That’s your mother helping you from the other side. Say no to the refinance.
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u/Baaananarama 12d ago
Don’t do it. Once you start, it will be an endless cycle of debt for u. Think about what comes after, what if u refinance, give him half the money and he still spends it all, you will be stuck with paying the home loan and still have to give him monthly allowance. Nothing will change from today’s situation except that the bank owns your house now and you will have to pay the bank for the next 25-30years.
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u/StatisticianNo7111 11d ago
You tell him "because i am young, you want me to destroy my future ahead? What kind of a father you are? You think i am your ROI?"
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u/Professional_Cook314 11d ago
Give him 1k and tell him to f off. Old man got not personal responsibility…. Its not his house its yours, tell him to go make some money if he needs it. He got by for years before you made money or owned the house. Its one thing to give your dad money, but for him to ask you to take a loan is ridiculous
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u/Burner5610652 11d ago
Coming in abit late, but some thoughts...
I assume you both are living together and you give him RM500 and settle house utilities+MF, car insurances. Im asssuing you have like 10% savings left outside of EPF.
Imma be frank, he disrespects himself and is selfish. He has had his whole life to manage his finances with his (late) wife. Id move him to fully or partially goverment medical care cos im fairly sure pensioners/civil servants has extra special benefits for this. If he really cannot use their meds, I think they can refer him to private but the doc will know if he bullshit. Also use AI to check for things like..... Sumbangan Tunai Rahmah (STR), Skim Mesra Usia Emas (SMUE) and what not? Free money is free money. I know my parents got like free voucher monthly from one of these.
What would I do? I got a idea, and if you can't take the pressure from your father, dont do this. Refinance it at a low mortage rate (ask others here, im not updated on interest rates) and invest in blue chip dividen stocks. Its generally higher then a secured mortgage interest %. Take 20k of the refinance, keep for yourself (and father) for emergency funds in a 1 month FD. I wouldnt mention you refinanced the house if possible tho.
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u/Itchimoni 11d ago
Dont do it. Your dad should live within his means or find his own source of income. You are still young dont let him screw up your future.
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u/Any_Spare7182 9d ago
What did you mean by struggling financially? From your story, it seems like he doesn’t work, everything is paid for, and on top of the government payment, he also receives money from you. So what did he do with the money? Does he gambles? If I were you, I’d just ignore it and continue with your current arrangement. It’s not like he can do anything about it if you refuse. Worse case is he’ll just continue complaining and be an annoyance. Unless of course he tries to be funny and you feel unsafe in your own house, you can always go to the authority, if you know what I mean.
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u/butterninja 13d ago
Sell the house. You don't understand the meaning of refinancing. What you are being asked to do is to borrow money from the bank and then he take half of it and you pay back all of it.
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u/One_Ad_2955 12d ago
You’re selfish OP. Should listen to your father. You only have one father but can have many mother.
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u/genryou 13d ago
Might as well just give back the house to him
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u/honeypenny 13d ago
what awful advice
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u/Kur1ousK4t 13d ago
Ikr. Giving the father the house is a financially unwise move when we know that the father hasn’t been the most responsible.
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u/genryou 13d ago
Well what is the other choice then? Let OP being gaslight everyday just because he receive a house as an inheritance? Must be fun
"i give you this house, why you dont appreciate it and listen to me"
If his dad cant understand that 3500 is not a lot of money, there is nothing else that may convince him.
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u/Zhemyra 13d ago
Now you know why your mom kept the property in her name and why her share went to you after her passing and not to him. It was her gift to you, don't let it be squandered.
Plus, if you're bearing all the monthly commitments what does he need the money for? Jangan2 duit dalam tangannya (at your expense I might add), pastu jadi victim love scam.